So, in 20 days I will be 40 years old.

With less than 3 weeks left of my "30s" I have been spending some time reflecting on how my life has panned out so far.

Can't really complain...have a great family, a loving wife, most of my hair, nice home, and most importantly my HEALTH...but there's always the nagging thoughts of things that my 20-year-old self had expected to have accomplished by now, which remain unrealized;

- travel around the world

- have money in the bank

- be in great shape

- publish a novel

- dress sharp

- drive a Ford Mustang convertible, Cobra edition

Not surprisingly, my unrealized expectations mostly stem from my less-than-spectacular financial situation, which in turn is a result of my priorities in life. Family, health & love FIRST, money SECOND. I placed my relationship and now my children above any job. A paycheck is a paycheck, your family is your life. That, I do not regret. But sometimes the mounting bills and related stress becomes unbearable. Money may not buy happiness, but lack of it sure brings misery.

So, I am going to take care of two items on my list. Baby steps, right?

Here is my declaration...my "mid-life crisis" pronouncement;

#1 - when I celebrate my 40th birthday, I will be in better shape.

Sounds stupid, but it's a big deal. For the past 12 years I've been promising myself to get in shape. But it's always one excuse after another. Now that I'm nearing 40, my body aches in all different places and my posture is even suffering from sitting at a desk every day. I've posted it before, but now I mean it. I am going to start working out seriously. At the very least. when the big day arrives, I will hopefully have lost the gut that makes me look like I'm 5 months pregnant. The six-pack abs can be a long-term goal.

#2 - when I celebrate my 41st birthday, I will have finished my book.

Been writing a story off-&-on for over a decade, but have never taken it seriousy. Now that I've been reading books like the Dresden Files, I've been thinking; "I can do that". So I'll take a year to focus on writing. Maybe I won't be published, but if I at least finish writing a story, then I can move on to seek publishing it. If by some chance that does happen, then I can keep writing and use the money to fulfill the other parts of my list.

So there you have it. I'm throwing it out there, in black-&-white, as a means of pushing myself.

If I don't post pics of myself on the 22nd, you'll know I didn't follow through on #1, and you can all admonish me mercilessly!

Good for you!

I think it’s awesome to pick a few from the list and get yourself started.

I’ve got just under 5 years till 40. I don’t have concrete plans for what I’m gonna do with those 5 years. It’s probably time to start making my list. I’m fortunate in that I’ve done most of what I wanted to do - quit smoking, bought my own home, traveled all over (though, I still have places I want to see)… Now I have to come up with new things.

CarrieMpls said:

Good for you!

I think it’s awesome to pick a few from the list and get yourself started.

I’ve got just under 5 years till 40. I don’t have concrete plans for what I’m gonna do with those 5 years. It’s probably time to start making my list. I’m fortunate in that I’ve done most of what I wanted to do - quit smoking, bought my own home, traveled all over (though, I still have places I want to see)… Now I have to come up with new things.

Thanks.

I have traveled more in the last 10 years than my parents did in their entire lives...just by going to Florida and Myrtle Beach and other summer vacations...BUT I'm still itchin' to do some REAL travelling! (Rome, Tahiti, Barcelona, Machu Picchu, Tokyo...)

PurpleJedi said:

So, in 20 days I will be 40 years old.

With less than 3 weeks left of my "30s" I have been spending some time reflecting on how my life has panned out so far.

Can't really complain...have a great family, a loving wife, most of my hair, nice home, and most importantly my HEALTH...but there's always the nagging thoughts of things that my 20-year-old self had expected to have accomplished by now, which remain unrealized;

- travel around the world

- have money in the bank

- be in great shape

- publish a novel

- dress sharp

- drive a Ford Mustang convertible, Cobra edition

Not surprisingly, my unrealized expectations mostly stem from my less-than-spectacular financial situation, which in turn is a result of my priorities in life. Family, health & love FIRST, money SECOND. I placed my relationship and now my children above any job. A paycheck is a paycheck, your family is your life. That, I do not regret. But sometimes the mounting bills and related stress becomes unbearable. Money may not buy happiness, but lack of it sure brings misery.

So, I am going to take care of two items on my list. Baby steps, right?

Here is my declaration...my "mid-life crisis" pronouncement;

#1 - when I celebrate my 40th birthday, I will be in better shape.

Sounds stupid, but it's a big deal. For the past 12 years I've been promising myself to get in shape. But it's always one excuse after another. Now that I'm nearing 40, my body aches in all different places and my posture is even suffering from sitting at a desk every day. I've posted it before, but now I mean it. I am going to start working out seriously. At the very least. when the big day arrives, I will hopefully have lost the gut that makes me look like I'm 5 months pregnant. The six-pack abs can be a long-term goal.

#2 - when I celebrate my 41st birthday, I will have finished my book.

Been writing a story off-&-on for over a decade, but have never taken it seriousy. Now that I've been reading books like the Dresden Files, I've been thinking; "I can do that". So I'll take a year to focus on writing. Maybe I won't be published, but if I at least finish writing a story, then I can move on to seek publishing it. If by some chance that does happen, then I can keep writing and use the money to fulfill the other parts of my list.

So there you have it. I'm throwing it out there, in black-&-white, as a means of pushing myself.

If I don't post pics of myself on the 22nd, you'll know I didn't follow through on #1, and you can all admonish me mercilessly!

you have plenty of time. also these are some great things you've accomplished:

Can't really complain...have a great family, a loving wife, most of my hair, nice home, and most importantly my HEALTH

XxAxX said:

you have plenty of time. also these are some great things you've accomplished:

Can't really complain...have a great family, a loving wife, most of my hair, nice home, and most importantly my HEALTH

Thanks!

...would be better if I still had ALL of my hair though.

only three weeks to get in better shape? Better bust a move!

I would also like to be in better shape

I would like to be out of debt

I would like to have a clearer career path

I would like to organize my time better

I would like to get up earlier

No snow workouts this year PurpleJedi, okay? As far as the hair thing I wouldn't be worried. What counts is what's in your heart not on your head. You'll do just fine.

NDRU said:

only three weeks to get in better shape? Better bust a move!

I would also like to be in better shape

I would like to be out of debt

I would like to have a clearer career path

I would like to organize my time better

I would like to get up earlier

Three weeks to at least get rid of the pouch. Should be doable, no?

Let me show you why this is a big deal. My mom took a nice pic of me 2 weeks ago when we were upstate.

Nice scenery. But I look like an anaconda that recently fed on a small dog;

Elle85n09 said:

No snow workouts this year PurpleJedi, okay? As far as the hair thing I wouldn't be worried. What counts is what's in your heart not on your head. You'll do just fine.

...I'm just hoping the hair stays where it is. Any more thinning and I'll need to go Kojak.

[Edited 11/2/10 13:21pm]

Nice one folks. I am 29 right now, but can see myself doing the same thing in a decade or so. I think its important for people to aim high in their life, and a bucket list is a good kick start. I have made a decision not to ever get married so i can do everything i wanna do without the anchor of wife and kids(sounds selfish) but i think when you are t the crossroads, the wife and kids option really does close of most avenues that i know i still wanna go down. Good luck with your list. Make sure you don't slack off and make up excuses not to do things on it!

First of all, Happy Birthday in advance!

Welcome to the club!

I always hoped that by the time I was 40, I would have been married with a family... nope!

I started a Doctoral program in 2002, with the goal to finish by the time I was 40... nope!

But at 43...

• I am healthier than I was at 39
• I am "thicker", but in better shape than at 39
• I own my own house
• I will hopefully graduate with an Ed.D in a month or two
• I have higher self-esteem and a more positive outlook... I finally figured out "it is what it is"

My future goals for the future:

• To pay down my debt
• To have a long-term monogamous relationship

when I was 20 I thought by 40 I would be living in a groovy townhouse in a groovy suburb, with a severe geometric hairstyle and graphic designer glasses and only wear black, I'd spend Sunday mornings at long cafe brunches with my architect partner and pedigree dog. Several times a year we'd jet off to New York or Bejing or Dubai.

I don't know where children factored into all this, perhaps they would have a nanny? anyway, I wouldn't have to worry about trivial things like feeding them or whatever.

I have everything I need right now.

I probably should get those graphic designer glasses soon though thanks failing eyesight!

I say don't go super crazy with getting in shape. Take a walk with your kids everyday or something. I walk about 15 min at work, 30 min in the morning, and 45 after work. If I'm not doing some douche bag work out video. Bascially, something that you will start to really enjoy.

I've always been in shape. But I've always been and still am a chunk. So being in shape is sometimes relative, I guess.

PurpleJedi said:

NDRU said:

only three weeks to get in better shape? Better bust a move!

I would also like to be in better shape

I would like to be out of debt

I would like to have a clearer career path

I would like to organize my time better

I would like to get up earlier

Three weeks to at least get rid of the pouch. Should be doable, no?

Let me show you why this is a big deal. My mom took a nice pic of me 2 weeks ago when we were upstate.

Nice scenery. But I look like an anaconda that recently fed on a small dog;

Here... this should help...

http://www.twohundredsitups.com/

RenHoek said:

PurpleJedi said:

Three weeks to at least get rid of the pouch. Should be doable, no?

Let me show you why this is a big deal. My mom took a nice pic of me 2 weeks ago when we were upstate.

Nice scenery. But I look like an anaconda that recently fed on a small dog;

Here... this should help...

http://www.twohundredsitups.com/

I am so trying that! My core is SUPER weak - because I really hate abdominal exercises, but I need to strengthen it. Thanks for the info!!

KatSkrizzle said:

RenHoek said:

Here... this should help...

http://www.twohundredsitups.com/

I am so trying that! My core is SUPER weak - because I really hate abdominal exercises, but I need to strengthen it. Thanks for the info!!

there's also...

http://hundredpushups.com/index.html

I'm doing almost 50 pushups a night... it's a great, measured way to get in shape (I think...)

see prince in concert <-- less then 2 months

travel to australia and europe

hook up with a celebrity...if only in my dreams?!!

move far away from jersey.

get married and have kids.

damn i actually wrote it all down after seeing the bucket list. who knows where it is

RenHoek said:

Here... this should help...

http://www.twohundredsitups.com/

Thanks! I think I may commit to that. Back in college I used to do crunches, and they did work.

scandalousalan said:

Nice one folks. I am 29 right now, but can see myself doing the same thing in a decade or so. I think its important for people to aim high in their life, and a bucket list is a good kick start. I have made a decision not to ever get married so i can do everything i wanna do without the anchor of wife and kids(sounds selfish) but i think when you are t the crossroads, the wife and kids option really does close of most avenues that i know i still wanna go down. Good luck with your list. Make sure you don't slack off and make up excuses not to do things on it!

There's nothing wrong with admitting that you don't want to be a father. The worst thing you could do is to buckle under and have kids to fulfill someone else's expectations. Eventually you could become bitter and take it out on the wife & kids.

Funny thing is; I have a friend who stated the same exact thing. He admitted that he was too selfish to think about children. He wanted to enjoy his life...travel, eat at fancy restaurants, travel some more, wear nice clothes, did I mention travel? He lived with his girlfriend for a few years, in a fancy NYC apartment (they both make good money). Anyway, her sister has a kid, and he's an "uncle" now. Suddenly he realizes that he doesn't want to die without leaving behind a "legacy", so he wants to have a kid. She says "no way unless there's a ring on my finger". They get married. They try to have kids.

Fate/nature/God steps in and says, "uhm NO." They can't conceive, and even after spending thousands of dollars on treatments, no baby. Meanwhile, the stress of teh whole ordeal puts their relationship on such rocky ground that they almost split.

Fortunately cool heads prevailed and they decided to end the quest for kids. They are considering adopting, but meanwhile they continue their cosmopolitan lifestyle ("Honey, you want to fly to Paris this weekend?" "Sure! Let's go!").

So moral of my long-winded & meandering story...make sure you really know what you want before it's too late to change your mind.

chocolate1 said:

First of all, Happy Birthday in advance!

Welcome to the club!

I always hoped that by the time I was 40, I would have been married with a family... nope!

I started a Doctoral program in 2002, with the goal to finish by the time I was 40... nope!

But at 43...

• I am healthier than I was at 39
• I am "thicker", but in better shape than at 39
• I own my own house
• I will hopefully graduate with an Ed.D in a month or two
• I have higher self-esteem and a more positive outlook... I finally figured out "it is what it is"

My future goals for the future:

• To pay down my debt
• To have a long-term monogamous relationship

Thank you!

Funny thing...for the past year or so, the motto that we;ve adopted in my has been precisely that; "It is what it IS." I use it at work even.

Congrats on the home, career, etc.

RenHoek said:

KatSkrizzle said:

I am so trying that! My core is SUPER weak - because I really hate abdominal exercises, but I need to strengthen it. Thanks for the info!!

there's also...

http://hundredpushups.com/index.html

I'm doing almost 50 pushups a night... it's a great, measured way to get in shape (I think...)

And this...

[img:$uid]http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w9/Purplemistress/1038045759_doggystyle.gif[/img:$uid]

KidaDynamite said:

RenHoek said:

there's also...

http://hundredpushups.com/index.html

I'm doing almost 50 pushups a night... it's a great, measured way to get in shape (I think...)

And this...

[img:$uid]http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w9/Purplemistress/1038045759_doggystyle.gif[/img:$uid]

you weren't supposed to tell... now EVERYONE will wanna do it...

PurpleJedi said:

scandalousalan said:

Nice one folks. I am 29 right now, but can see myself doing the same thing in a decade or so. I think its important for people to aim high in their life, and a bucket list is a good kick start. I have made a decision not to ever get married so i can do everything i wanna do without the anchor of wife and kids(sounds selfish) but i think when you are t the crossroads, the wife and kids option really does close of most avenues that i know i still wanna go down. Good luck with your list. Make sure you don't slack off and make up excuses not to do things on it!

There's nothing wrong with admitting that you don't want to be a father. The worst thing you could do is to buckle under and have kids to fulfill someone else's expectations. Eventually you could become bitter and take it out on the wife & kids.

Funny thing is; I have a friend who stated the same exact thing. He admitted that he was too selfish to think about children. He wanted to enjoy his life...travel, eat at fancy restaurants, travel some more, wear nice clothes, did I mention travel? He lived with his girlfriend for a few years, in a fancy NYC apartment (they both make good money). Anyway, her sister has a kid, and he's an "uncle" now. Suddenly he realizes that he doesn't want to die without leaving behind a "legacy", so he wants to have a kid. She says "no way unless there's a ring on my finger". They get married. They try to have kids.

Fate/nature/God steps in and says, "uhm NO." They can't conceive, and even after spending thousands of dollars on treatments, no baby. Meanwhile, the stress of teh whole ordeal puts their relationship on such rocky ground that they almost split.

Fortunately cool heads prevailed and they decided to end the quest for kids. They are considering adopting, but meanwhile they continue their cosmopolitan lifestyle ("Honey, you want to fly to Paris this weekend?" "Sure! Let's go!").

So moral of my long-winded & meandering story...make sure you really know what you want before it's too late to change your mind.

Thanks, it's pretty good advice, and stories like that help put the bigger picture into perspective. Never say never i guess, but right now my mindset is to avoid the father route. The weird thing is i love kids and have so much patience with them, and i know if i ever did have them i'd be an ace father. Like your friend, i am pretty selfish.

[Edited 11/2/10 23:48pm]

RenHoek said:

KidaDynamite said:

And this...

[img:$uid]http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w9/Purplemistress/1038045759_doggystyle.gif[/img:$uid]

you weren't supposed to tell... now EVERYONE will wanna do it...

I tried that, it only made my gut BIGGER!!!

OMG!

This thread reminded me that I am turning 40 in June.

Ok, time to get rid of the baby belly, firm it up like it was before.

I cannot do situp's though. Messes up my neck and not a good idea for those of us who have scoliosis. I will ask the osteopath what I can do instead.

Hmm....now, I need to make a list I suppose. My attention span is so short, I will probably forget to make a list 3 seconds after I walk away from my computer.

Shanti0608 said:

OMG!

This thread reminded me that I am turning 40 in June.

Ok, time to get rid of the baby belly, firm it up like it was before.

I cannot do situp's though. Messes up my neck and not a good idea for those of us who have scoliosis. I will ask the osteopath what I can do instead.

Hmm....now, I need to make a list I suppose. My attention span is so short, I will probably forget to make a list 3 seconds after I walk away from my computer.

So you're one of those people walking around with a bunch of strings tied to their fingers, which they then forget what they tied them there for?

Hey...at least you have one more Holiday season to celebrate as a 30-something.

KidaDynamite said:

RenHoek said:

there's also...

http://hundredpushups.com/index.html

I'm doing almost 50 pushups a night... it's a great, measured way to get in shape (I think...)

And this...

[img:$uid]http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w9/Purplemistress/1038045759_doggystyle.gif[/img:$uid]

"Yes, again babe. Doctor's orders."

My mum rang just now to ask me what I am planning for my 40th

I don't even want to THINK that far!!!

ZombieKitten said:

My mum rang just now to ask me what I am planning for my 40th

I don't even want to THINK that far!!!

...and how "far" away would that be?

PurpleJedi said:

ZombieKitten said:

My mum rang just now to ask me what I am planning for my 40th

I don't even want to THINK that far!!!

...and how "far" away would that be?

less than 3 months