... do women get any easier to understand ever???

Wives, do you spread out your crazy in small doeses over a designated period of days, or do you usually just unload at a moment's notice?

Husbands, if you knew then what you know now, would you still have gone down this road?

No, I'm not married or even close to it. But, I've seen some craziness in the lives of some couples lately that makes me wonder whether ...

... the dweam within a dweam is better left undwempt.

I have gone crazy this morning I admit.

Last night I made a date with the SO(B) to drive down and have lunch with him, we were having a nice time, I wanted it to carry over to the next day.

This morning I was presented with whole bunch of BS that I had to wade through before I could get started on what I HAVE to do, and I was pretty pissed off by it all. The odds at my house are constantly stacked against my favour and sometimes it comes to a head and I crack.

Then he said "So, are you still coming down to have lunch today?" and the tone in his voice made me say "No"

and he made some sandwiches, making him take our kid to running club late etc etc etc

and now I feel like shit

Sometimes days, weeks, months worth of vitriol can spew forth without warning.

Just don't let the sink (BOTH SINKS ffs!!!) fill up with dishes rendering them unusable just because the dishwasher is in use. Stack them neatly to the side of the sink (I was away after dinner last night for ONE HOUR)

DON'T put your dirty socks on the kitchen bench where I am making the kids lunches.

shit like that, that makes me feel like I am just here to clean up after you, makes me NOT want to have lunch with you!!!!!!

It seems to get harder to figure her out as the years progress. I saw my wife's shopping list the other day...

*Plastic tarp

*Duct Tape

*Rope

*Shovel

This really pissed me off because I specifically demanded Doritos and Grape Shasta. I guess she's got some kind of weird craft project to do that's way more important.

it's just the amount of crazy I can put up with...any more and I'm out

ThreadBare said:

... do women get any easier to understand ever???

No.

The best you can hope for is to have a woman who is aware of the differences between men and women, and doesn't expect you to think and behave like a woman. One who tries to outline for you clearly what she wants and doesn't want from you, and what things will piss her off.

Many wives try to make their husbands understand them, which will never happen. It's much smarter to just tell him exactly what things bother you, and exactly what things make you feel good. She should also expect to explain these things over and over again.

Husbands, if you are lucky enough to have a wife like this, listen to her.

BklynBabe said:

Aw jeez, this shit again...

That's what I said.

squirrelgrease said:

It seems to get harder to figure her out as the years progress. I saw my wife's shopping list the other day...

*Plastic tarp

*Duct Tape

*Rope

*Shovel

This really pissed me off because I specifically demanded Doritos and Grape Shasta. I guess she's got some kind of weird craft project to do that's way more important.

Be sure to check in with the Org every couple a days, man. Just sayin'.

ZombieKitten said:

I have gone crazy this morning I admit.

Last night I made a date with the SO(B) to drive down and have lunch with him, we were having a nice time, I wanted it to carry over to the next day.

This morning I was presented with whole bunch of BS that I had to wade through before I could get started on what I HAVE to do, and I was pretty pissed off by it all. The odds at my house are constantly stacked against my favour and sometimes it comes to a head and I crack.

Then he said "So, are you still coming down to have lunch today?" and the tone in his voice made me say "No"

and he made some sandwiches, making him take our kid to running club late etc etc etc

and now I feel like shit

Sometimes days, weeks, months worth of vitriol can spew forth without warning.

Just don't let the sink (BOTH SINKS ffs!!!) fill up with dishes rendering them unusable just because the dishwasher is in use. Stack them neatly to the side of the sink (I was away after dinner last night for ONE HOUR)

DON'T put your dirty socks on the kitchen bench where I am making the kids lunches.

shit like that, that makes me feel like I am just here to clean up after you, makes me NOT want to have lunch with you!!!!!!

PunkMistress said:

ThreadBare said:

... do women get any easier to understand ever???

No.

The best you can hope for is to have a woman who is aware of the differences between men and women, and doesn't expect you to think and behave like a woman. One who tries to outline for you clearly what she wants and doesn't want from you, and what things will piss her off.

Many wives try to make their husbands understand them, which will never happen. It's much smarter to just tell him exactly what things bother you, and exactly what things make you feel good. She should also expect to explain these things over and over again.

Husbands, if you are lucky enough to have a wife like this, listen to her.

*taking notes* Good stuff, E.

Slave2daGroove said:

it's just the amount of crazy I can put up with...any more and I'm out

ThreadBare said:

... do women get any easier to understand ever???

Understanding is a broad, overrated term

women are one of the things

I most appreciate in life

I'm gonna kiss a lil' woman ass for a sec

through all the bat shit issues (the ones anybody can have)

and through the issues that may be unique to women

they, in general, are nearly perfect

I've been fortunate to have always been around wonderful women

my great grandmother, my mom, girlfriends, friends, my wife

all of them very special to me

I've learned from all of them

I know there are extremes that don't fit

in my perfect lil' world

but women are one of the things that makes life incredible....and possible

I fucking love women

that's all I need to understand

I am happily married for 20 yrs this Dec....

Listen good.

Do NOT marry a girly girl...wives should be self sufficient and capable of doing even some of the more manly chores around the house. Not saying that she does, but she should be capable.

Do NOT be afraid of doing housework...that ain't just for them anymore, guys gotta pitch in. Laundry ain't that bad.

Laugh, Laugh, Laugh together....key.

Make her happiness your top priority....if she is happy, you are happy. Understand that, at times, it may feel like you are giving more than you get....deal with it.

Keep her liquored up.........a shared bottle of wine ALWAYS leads to a good night

orger said:

ThreadBare said:

... do women get any easier to understand ever???

Understanding is a broad, overrated term

women are one of the things

I most appreciate in life

I'm gonna kiss a lil' woman ass for a sec

through all the bat shit issues (the ones anybody can have)

and through the issues that may be unique to women

they, in general, are nearly perfect

I've been fortunate to have always been around wonderful women

my great grandmother, my mom, girlfriends, friends, my wife

all of them very special to me

I've learned from all of them

I know there are extremes that don't fit

in my perfect lil' world

but women are one of the things that makes life incredible....and possible

I fucking love women

that's all I need to understand

K, thanks

Revolution said:

I am happily married for 20 yrs this Dec....

Listen good.

Do NOT marry a girly girl...wives should be self sufficient and capable of doing even some of the more manly chores around the house. Not saying that she does, but she should be capable.

Do NOT be afraid of doing housework...that ain't just for them anymore, guys gotta pitch in. Laundry ain't that bad.

Laugh, Laugh, Laugh together....key.

Make her happiness your top priority....if she is happy, you are happy. Understand that, at times, it may feel like you are giving more than you get....deal with it.

Keep her liquored up.........a shared bottle of wine ALWAYS leads to a good night

Very good stuff here, too. *more notes*

Revolution said:

Keep her liquored up.........a shared bottle of wine ALWAYS leads to a good night

there is a bottle of champagne in the fridge

I have my period, guess it will have to wait until next week

ThreadBare said:

ZombieKitten said:

I have gone crazy this morning I admit.

Last night I made a date with the SO(B) to drive down and have lunch with him, we were having a nice time, I wanted it to carry over to the next day.

This morning I was presented with whole bunch of BS that I had to wade through before I could get started on what I HAVE to do, and I was pretty pissed off by it all. The odds at my house are constantly stacked against my favour and sometimes it comes to a head and I crack.

Then he said "So, are you still coming down to have lunch today?" and the tone in his voice made me say "No"

and he made some sandwiches, making him take our kid to running club late etc etc etc

and now I feel like shit

Sometimes days, weeks, months worth of vitriol can spew forth without warning.

Just don't let the sink (BOTH SINKS ffs!!!) fill up with dishes rendering them unusable just because the dishwasher is in use. Stack them neatly to the side of the sink (I was away after dinner last night for ONE HOUR)

DON'T put your dirty socks on the kitchen bench where I am making the kids lunches.

shit like that, that makes me feel like I am just here to clean up after you, makes me NOT want to have lunch with you!!!!!!

nobody understands me at my house

ZombieKitten said:

ThreadBare said:

nobody understands me at my house

ThreadBare said:

PunkMistress said:

No.

The best you can hope for is to have a woman who is aware of the differences between men and women, and doesn't expect you to think and behave like a woman. One who tries to outline for you clearly what she wants and doesn't want from you, and what things will piss her off.

Many wives try to make their husbands understand them, which will never happen. It's much smarter to just tell him exactly what things bother you, and exactly what things make you feel good. She should also expect to explain these things over and over again.

Husbands, if you are lucky enough to have a wife like this, listen to her.

*taking notes* Good stuff, E.

You're going to be an excellent husband.

I wish your amazing wife would show up already!

Reading this thread, I'm thinking my first marriage was a fluke and I'm probably not built for marriage at all.

ZombieKitten said:

ThreadBare said:

nobody understands me at my house

I at least have three other females. I can't imagine being adrift in a sea of males all the time.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm indulging in a bit of female craziness right now.

I'm all butthurt that my husband offered me some constructive criticism on the chicken pot pie I made for dinner, then sat in front of the Food Network on TV and moaned and groaned with desire at some stupid bitch's peanut butter chocolate something or other.

Totally irrational, as I do appreciate the feedback on my cooking so I can make it better. And he liked the food I made, and it was in his belly. That dumb broad and her stupid food were on the television, not real, and it could have been utterly disgusting for all I know.

But it still upset me! I feel like that food is better than my food, and he likes it better and I suck. Strangely, I do not feel this way about him looking at hot chicks in porn.

Actually, after typing that out I'm not mad anymore.

PunkMistress said:

ThreadBare said:

*taking notes* Good stuff, E.

You're going to be an excellent husband.

I wish your amazing wife would show up already!

as. do. I.

and thanks, ma'am.

[Edited 10/25/10 18:02pm]

PunkMistress said:

ZombieKitten said:

nobody understands me at my house

I at least have three other females. I can't imagine being adrift in a sea of males all the time.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm indulging in a bit of female craziness right now.

I'm all butthurt that my husband offered me some constructive criticism on the chicken pot pie I made for dinner, then sat in front of the Food Network on TV and moaned and groaned with desire at some stupid bitch's peanut butter chocolate something or other.

Totally irrational, as I do appreciate the feedback on my cooking so I can make it better. And he liked the food I made, and it was in his belly. That dumb broad and her stupid food were on the television, not real, and it could have been utterly disgusting for all I know.

But it still upset me! I feel like that food is better than my food, and he likes it better and I suck. Strangely, I do not feel this way about him looking at hot chicks in porn.

Actually, after typing that out I'm not mad anymore.

I just found the left overs that I planned to have for lunch today in the fridge UNCOVERED, and all dried out

and I'm forever sitting down on a pissy toilet seat UGH!

I hate EVERYBODY!!!!!

I want my client to go on holidays and leave me alone!!!

I want school to offer overnight accommodation for my children, who I FORGOT TO PICK UP from school yesterday!!!!!

@ this thread.

My wife doles out her fair share of crazy (she's Puerto Rican...it's in her DNA). But after 14 years, I've learned to tune most of it out. To her credit though, she is dealing with three men (myself & the two boys) who somehow manage to turn the house into something similar to the hotel room in "The Hangover" when she is away for more than a couple of hours. (One day she'll come home, and Mike Tyson will be in our living room looking for his Tiger.)

PurpleJedi said:

@ this thread.

My wife doles out her fair share of crazy (she's Puerto Rican...it's in her DNA). But after 14 years, I've learned to tune most of it out. To her credit though, she is dealing with three men (myself & the two boys) who somehow manage to turn the house into something similar to the hotel room in "The Hangover" when she is away for more than a couple of hours. (One day she'll come home, and Mike Tyson will be in our living room looking for his Tiger.)

must you do this?

I know that perhaps I should not take it that way (in my family), but I feel my efforts in maintaining some semblance of order go unnoticed and unappreciated, and that their carelessness and assumption that "oh, well mummy will clean it up so I don't have to" make me feel resentful. How can you do these things to me if you LOVE me?

And then calling me crazy is just the icing on the cake.

ZombieKitten said:

PurpleJedi said:

@ this thread.

My wife doles out her fair share of crazy (she's Puerto Rican...it's in her DNA). But after 14 years, I've learned to tune most of it out. To her credit though, she is dealing with three men (myself & the two boys) who somehow manage to turn the house into something similar to the hotel room in "The Hangover" when she is away for more than a couple of hours. (One day she'll come home, and Mike Tyson will be in our living room looking for his Tiger.)

must you do this?

I know that perhaps I should not take it that way (in my family), but I feel my efforts in maintaining some semblance of order go unnoticed and unappreciated, and that their carelessness and assumption that "oh, well mummy will clean it up so I don't have to" make me feel resentful. How can you do these things to me if you LOVE me?

And then calling me crazy is just the icing on the cake.

It's not done on purpose. It sometimes "just happens".

The "crazy" name-calling comes after all the hollering & yelling.

I can only speak from my own experience...

The good news is that, yes, you begin to better understand how your woman works... a least insofar as you can accurately predict the flow of her thoughts, behaviors and reactions given a certain matter. This affords you a certain capacity for preparation or even manipulation of the future.

The bad news: Does this mean you begin to understand why she thinks, behaves and reacts the way she does? Not in the least. And God help you if you procreate and have... a daughter.

I MUST say, however, that my wife puts up with more than her fair share of boy crazy from me... and I've certainly thrown some curve balls in my time. All in all, I think things are working out. I do humor what ifs, and I'd guess my wife does the same. But we've been really blessed, and who's to say that much of that would have been availed to us had we not taken certain strides in faith and mutual commitment?

[Edited 10/25/10 19:33pm]

PurpleJedi said:

ZombieKitten said:

must you do this?

I know that perhaps I should not take it that way (in my family), but I feel my efforts in maintaining some semblance of order go unnoticed and unappreciated, and that their carelessness and assumption that "oh, well mummy will clean it up so I don't have to" make me feel resentful. How can you do these things to me if you LOVE me?

And then calling me crazy is just the icing on the cake.

It's not done on purpose. It sometimes "just happens".

The "crazy" name-calling comes after all the hollering & yelling.

but how weird is it that if me and the kids are alone at home for 3 weeks, it does NOT happen

only when I am NOT AT HOME

ZombieKitten said:

PurpleJedi said:

It's not done on purpose. It sometimes "just happens".

The "crazy" name-calling comes after all the hollering & yelling.

but how weird is it that if me and the kids are alone at home for 3 weeks, it does NOT happen

only when I am NOT AT HOME

...that's why we (men) NEED you (women)!

.

[Edited 10/25/10 19:32pm]