this isnt my personal opinon , this is just what ive heard around town

keep in mind.. im young and my peers are young as well

so im pretty sure its different with people over 30

ive heard lots of young men say they dont mind when females approach them first and they say they wish more females would come up to them..

however i witness these same men complain about aggressive women and they say....

A. the aggressive females are always ugly and or fat

B. the aggressive females are Groupies

C .the aggressive females are labeled as "thristy"

ive also heard girls my age say "If he doesnt come up to me its obvious hes doesnt like me"

yet still silently pursue this guy

maybe i just dont get how these young kids are dating , its to many damn rules and tricks

what do you think ? me personally, i think it depends on how attractive you are, sad but true

[Edited 10/24/10 14:35pm]

How young are you?

20

dunno. I've never approached a guy first.

I've never dated

I did get "picked up" at the pub once though!

(which means hit on, I guess)

ZombieKitten said:

dunno. I've never approached a guy first.

I've never dated

I did get "picked up" at the pub once though!

(which means hit on, I guess)

really?!

but arent you married?

PicklesMcMillan said:

ZombieKitten said:

dunno. I've never approached a guy first.

I've never dated

I did get "picked up" at the pub once though!

(which means hit on, I guess)

really?!

but arent you married?

yup

I managed to do that even though not once have I ever been out on a date

I married the guy that hit on me at the pub

Well, I tell you this, when I was 20 I was in university, single and member of a fraternity. I remember many girls my age always just staring and never taking any initiative. The girls at 'the club'weret all that interested in me when i was that age, which however changed after I got older. Then you instantly become more attractive to them. Most girls I was interested in at 20 wanted a guy older or belonging to the most popular club or something which I didn't. I thought that was stupid and superficial and as a consequence I didn't take much intitiative myself either with those broads. So strangely enough you could say I had more girlfriends outside the fraternity. You know like 'normal girls'. Well normal isn't an entirely correct qualification either I guess lol but they didn't belong to any club of bitches or anyhting if you know what I mean. Some of those girls hit on me first, so I guess you could say that there I found some more 'normal' ways of flirting.

I forgot to add that the older girls at the club were more of the 'agressive' kind. I had some encounters with them that were, let's say, pretty 'intimidating' for just a young guy, but luckily I had some experience with that already before I got there.

ZombieKitten said:

PicklesMcMillan said:

really?!

but arent you married?

yup

I managed to do that even though not once have I ever been out on a date

I married the guy that hit on me at the pub

you are my inspiration right now lol

i never been on a date either but hearing your story gives me hope

that guy must have really said the right things ...sounds like a romantic comedy plot

[Edited 10/24/10 15:40pm]

Tremolina said:

Well, I tell you this, when I was 20 I was in university, single and member of a fraternity. I remember many girls my age always just staring and never taking any initiative. The girls at 'the club'weret all that interested in me when i was that age, which however changed after I got older. Then you instantly become more attractive to them. Most girls I was interested in at 20 wanted a guy older or belonging to the most popular club or something which I didn't. I thought that was stupid and superficial and as a consequence I didn't take much intitiative myself either with those broads. So strangely enough you could say I had more girlfriends outside the fraternity. You know like 'normal girls'. Well normal isn't an entirely correct qualification either I guess lol but they didn't belong to any club of bitches or anyhting if you know what I mean. Some of those girls hit on me first, so I guess you could say that there I found some more 'normal' ways of flirting.

im not in any popular clubs.....

no disrespect 2 these girls but ive notice that these girls hang with alot of of the well know groups

do guys ever stop and think 'hey these girls sure do know alot of well known guys on campus"

Some of those girls hit on me first...did they come across as "desperate"?

PicklesMcMillan said:

ZombieKitten said:

yup

I managed to do that even though not once have I ever been out on a date

I married the guy that hit on me at the pub

you are my inspiration right now lol

i never been on a date either but hearing your story gives me hope

that guy must have really said the right things ...sounds like a romantic comedy plot

it was an interesting evening I was at the pub with my housemate, and he was singing in the band there. During the band's break he came over and bought us a drink, since we were there in line waiting, he asked what we wanted (free courtesy band rider ). Both me and my friend both assumed he was interested in the other, so neither of us paid him that much attention we were both there to see the other singer in the band, who was GORGEOUS! but he didn't know that!!

yes please

PicklesMcMillan said:

Tremolina said:

Well, I tell you this, when I was 20 I was in university, single and member of a fraternity. I remember many girls my age always just staring and never taking any initiative. The girls at 'the club'weret all that interested in me when i was that age, which however changed after I got older. Then you instantly become more attractive to them. Most girls I was interested in at 20 wanted a guy older or belonging to the most popular club or something which I didn't. I thought that was stupid and superficial and as a consequence I didn't take much intitiative myself either with those broads. So strangely enough you could say I had more girlfriends outside the fraternity. You know like 'normal girls'. Well normal isn't an entirely correct qualification either I guess lol but they didn't belong to any club of bitches or anyhting if you know what I mean. Some of those girls hit on me first, so I guess you could say that there I found some more 'normal' ways of flirting.

im not in any popular clubs.....

no disrespect 2 these girls but ive notice that these girls hang with alot of of the well know groups

do guys ever stop and think 'hey these girls sure do know alot of well known guys on campus"

Some of those girls hit on me first...did they come across as "desperate"?

You think? No, not really desperate, more like crazy. For a while I hung out with two girls who also hung out with eachother. Basically they were doing eachother but they weren't able to have a steady relationship, since either one of them was always fucking around. So at some point I came into the picture and they BOTH wanted me. I guess so the other couldn't have me or something. I can't quite remember the details of their mind fuck, however in the end they both got me (or I got them) but I never got the two of them together! lol What I did tho get was them getting into a huge fight over it, which turned into them not seeing eachother for a couple of months, but then they both realised that they really liked girls better than boys, or that they still loved eachother, or whatever, so they got back with eachother again. Yeah i know crazy Lol

--

[Edited 10/24/10 16:03pm]

I personally think the "chasing" part is the man's job. I never really had to approach a man, they all come to me.

However, for prom...I was the one who asked first. His gf dumped him 3 weeks prior so yeah.

Tremolina said:

PicklesMcMillan said:

im not in any popular clubs.....

no disrespect 2 these girls but ive notice that these girls hang with alot of of the well know groups

do guys ever stop and think 'hey these girls sure do know alot of well known guys on campus"

Some of those girls hit on me first...did they come across as "desperate"?

You think? No, not really desperate, more like crazy. For a while I hung out with two girls who also hung out with eachother. Basically they were doing eachother but they weren't able to have a steady relationship, since either one of them was always fucking around. So at some point I came into the picture and they BOTH wanted me. I guess so the other couldn't have me or something. I can't quite remember the details of their mind fuck, however in the end they both got me (or I got them) but I never got the two of them together! lol What I did tho get was them getting into a huge fight over it, which turned into them not seeing eachother for a couple of months, but then they both realised that they really liked girls better than boys, or that they still loved eachother, or whatever, so they got back with eachother again. Yeah i know crazy Lol

--

[Edited 10/24/10 16:03pm]

WOW

geez you had two lesbians fighting over you ..you must have been the man

PicklesMcMillan said:

do guys ever stop and think 'hey these girls sure do know alot of well known guys on campus"

I certainly did and I could have been one of the well known, but I chose not to those days.

SherryJackson said:

I personally think the "chasing" part is the man's job. I never really had to approach a man, they all come to me.

However, for prom...I was the one who asked first. His gf dumped him 3 weeks prior so yeah.

but if you really liked a guy would you..

court him or approach him

or just let it be and never talk to him

PicklesMcMillan said:

Tremolina said:

You think? No, not really desperate, more like crazy. For a while I hung out with two girls who also hung out with eachother. Basically they were doing eachother but they weren't able to have a steady relationship, since either one of them was always fucking around. So at some point I came into the picture and they BOTH wanted me. I guess so the other couldn't have me or something. I can't quite remember the details of their mind fuck, however in the end they both got me (or I got them) but I never got the two of them together! lol What I did tho get was them getting into a huge fight over it, which turned into them not seeing eachother for a couple of months, but then they both realised that they really liked girls better than boys, or that they still loved eachother, or whatever, so they got back with eachother again. Yeah i know crazy Lol

--

[Edited 10/24/10 16:03pm]

WOW

geez you had two lesbians fighting over you ..you must have been the man

hmm... no not really the man more like one of their TOYS!

You see, even tho they were both pretty and even tho they both gave me the illusion that I had 'conquered' them with doing 'nothing' , it was nothing more than that: an illusion, created from some crazy horny mind fuck the two of them were having. I actually was just an OBJECT for them.

Not that I really cared lol, but I knew it and could feel it too...

=--

[Edited 10/24/10 16:18pm]

The only thing i hate is when i do approac a guy...everybody and hs sister ...oh now, ya noticed! ...grrr.

PicklesMcMillan said:

SherryJackson said:

I personally think the "chasing" part is the man's job. I never really had to approach a man, they all come to me.

However, for prom...I was the one who asked first. His gf dumped him 3 weeks prior so yeah.

but if you really liked a guy would you..

court him or approach him

or just let it be and never talk to him

If you REALLY liked him I think you should always give it a serious try.

Personally I am more of the the just let things happen as they happen kind of guy. But I also know that sometimes you have to MAKE contact to MAKE things happen. Like when you have fallen madly in love with someone you don't or hardly know. That happened to me when I was 22. One of the weirdest and painful, yet also most beautiful and vauable experiences I have had with women.

Tremolina said:

PicklesMcMillan said:

WOW

geez you had two lesbians fighting over you ..you must have been the man

hmm... no not really the man more like one of their TOYS!

You see, even tho they were both pretty and even tho they both gave me the illusion that I had 'conquered' them with doing 'nothing' , it was nothing more than that: an illusion, created from some crazy horny mind fuck the two of them were having. I actually was just an OBJECT for them.

Not that I really cared lol, but I knew it and could feel it too...

=--

[Edited 10/24/10 16:18pm]

sorry to hear that

gotta be careful with those type of women

PicklesMcMillan said:

ive heard lots of young men say they dont mind when females approach them first and they say they wish more females would come up to them..

as long as they are hot

however i witness these same men complain about aggressive women and they say....

A. the aggressive females are always ugly and or fat

they probably aren't that attractive themselves. Most girls don't approach guys out of their league...especially ones that are not that cute

B. the aggressive females are Groupies

and therefore would not be interested in an average Joe, which mosts dudes are

C .the aggressive females are labeled as "thristy"

unless they are hot because hot girls are always welcomed

Most girls simply don't have to be aggressive because men chase them first.

PicklesMcMillan said:

SherryJackson said:

I personally think the "chasing" part is the man's job. I never really had to approach a man, they all come to me.

However, for prom...I was the one who asked first. His gf dumped him 3 weeks prior so yeah.

but if you really liked a guy would you..

court him or approach him

or just let it be and never talk to him

Well I believe a woman should have a sense of dignity. She shouldn't really abase herself by openly chasing a man who might or might be interested. I'd say be subtle to show you're interested. If he can't pick up those hints, then he ain't worth it and should probably reconsider your feelings. I speak from bitter experience.

JustErin said:

PicklesMcMillan said:

ive heard lots of young men say they dont mind when females approach them first and they say they wish more females would come up to them..

as long as they are hot

however i witness these same men complain about aggressive women and they say....

A. the aggressive females are always ugly and or fat

they probably aren't that attractive themselves. Most girls don't approach guys out of their league...especially ones that are not that cute

B. the aggressive females are Groupies

and therefore would not be interested in an average Joe, which mosts dudes are

C .the aggressive females are labeled as "thristy"

unless they are hot because hot girls are always welcomed so true

Most girls simply don't have to be aggressive because men chase them first.

i agree but alot of women complain about getting hit on by men their not interested in ..aka ugly men

SherryJackson said:

PicklesMcMillan said:

but if you really liked a guy would you..

court him or approach him

or just let it be and never talk to him

Well I believe a woman should have a sense of dignity. She shouldn't really abase herself by openly chasing a man who might or might be interested. I'd say be subtle to show you're interested. If he can't pick up those hints, then he ain't worth it and should probably reconsider your feelings. I speak from bitter experience.

girl me too!

i dont chase anything that doesnt chase me back ..

now that doesnt mean i cant admire from afar

[Edited 10/24/10 16:44pm]

Tremolina said:

PicklesMcMillan said:

but if you really liked a guy would you..

court him or approach him

or just let it be and never talk to him

If you REALLY liked him I think you should always give it a serious try.

Personally I am more of the the just let things happen as they happen kind of guy. But I also know that sometimes you have to MAKE contact to MAKE things happen. Like when you have fallen madly in love with someone you don't or hardly know. That happened to me when I was 22. One of the weirdest and painful, yet also most beautiful and vauable experiences I have had with women.

That's what I call a crush, when it's so one sided.

You put the person up on a pedestal, since you don't know them and their flaws yet, and your fantasy fills in the gaps and they are so PERFECT!!!

so did you actually go out with her in the end?????

SherryJackson said:

PicklesMcMillan said:

but if you really liked a guy would you..

court him or approach him

or just let it be and never talk to him

Well I believe a woman should have a sense of dignity. She shouldn't really abase herself by openly chasing a man who might or might be interested. I'd say be subtle to show you're interested. If he can't pick up those hints, then he ain't worth it and should probably reconsider your feelings. I speak from bitter experience.

Wow, that's pretty pathetic. There is no shame in going after what you want....even when it comes to a man. You can be aggressive and not desperate. Too bad some people can't understand that.

Guys like women that know what they want but they don't want women that want everything or everyone.

PicklesMcMillan said:

JustErin said:

Most girls simply don't have to be aggressive because men chase them first.

i agree but alot of women complain about getting hit on by men their not interested in ..aka ugly men

But of course and what's so wrong with that? No one wants to be with someone they find unattractive.

JustErin said:

PicklesMcMillan said:

i agree but alot of women complain about getting hit on by men their not interested in ..aka ugly men

But of course and what's so wrong with that? No one wants to be with someone they find unattractive.

nothing wrong with it

JustErin said:

SherryJackson said:

Well I believe a woman should have a sense of dignity. She shouldn't really abase herself by openly chasing a man who might or might be interested. I'd say be subtle to show you're interested. If he can't pick up those hints, then he ain't worth it and should probably reconsider your feelings. I speak from bitter experience.

Wow, that's pretty pathetic. There is no shame in going after what you want....even when it comes to a man. You can be aggressive and not desperate. Too bad some people can't understand that.

Guys like women that know what they want but they don't want women that want everything or everyone.

But that's how it seems to people if you openly chase a man. You look desperate. Either that or the aggressiveness makes you look like a player. "Doing it because you can" and that sorta thing. At least, that's what I heard.

I can't be aggressive. It's just not in me. But if it works for some women, go for it. I ain't judging and it makes no difference to me.

[Edited 10/24/10 16:55pm]