PDogz said:

vainandy said:

We're not all into Judy Garland and showtunes.

Oh honey, besides the hatred and discrimination that goes along with being gay, another reason I lived in denial until I was 22 and never came out of the closet to myself, is because I had never been around another gay person in person. As it turns out, I knew one or two but they were in the closet too and we found out about each other years later when we saw each other at the club.

Anyway, the only exposure I had to gay people growing up was the stereotypes on the TV or from the shit that straight people would say about gay people and make fun and laugh at them about. The stereotypes were always that gay people were into weak ass sissy shit like Judy Garland, Barbara Streisand, show tunes, and shit like that. Shit that was considered "nerdy", "geeky", "dorky", and "weak". That's why I see it very important that people see we're not all into shit like that and there are those of us into hardcore funk, heavy metal, and anything else that is the furthest from the weak shit they like to link us all to. Because if we were required to be into that type shit, I'd still be in the closet today. Looking back though, I personally never heard the motherfuckers linking us to disco until years later. If I had heard them linking us to disco back then, I would have been out of the closet at 10 years old.

johnart said:

vainandy said:

Come on now, y'all's sexuality is flaunted all over the TV, movies, and music since forever. Isn't it only fair that we get a chance to flaunt ours also if we wish to do so?

But for me, personally, the issue I take with this is you'd never ask someone "Is it important that you discuss your Black, Latino, Asian...and so on heritage/culture/etc with everyone?" Sexual identity (not habits or what specifically one might be "into", but identity is as much a part of us as our skin color, family roots, etc.

And i know the question was not asked of me, but Imma stick my 2cents in there anyway... yes it is most definitely important for me to discuss things about myself in an open and honest manner.

[Edited 10/22/10 11:59am]

I agree, John. But I need to ask: Was there ever a time in your life when you may not have been ready to do this? And might this be true for many others?

I ask because I don't think the issue here (not in the greater conversation, anyway) is whether LGBTQs should behave themselves in public for others, but rather somewhat of the opposite: Are they obliged to publicly be the LGBTQ person others assume they are... on cue? I think bending to either demand can be tantamount to selling out.

[Edited 10/22/10 14:34pm]

[I realized this thread has gone off topic, but as far as the Tyler Perry on Oprah show goes, didn't watch it, don't care, cause I already know how horrendous child molestation is. All of us have had fucked up things happen to us as kids. I don't need to watch celebrities talk about it on tv]

But to put my other two pesos in...

AND..it always becomes a situation of "whatever they do in their bedrooms is their business, but I don't like it when they force it down my throat (no pun intended)". I'd really like to know WHEN this occurs in everyday life. Then someone will bring up a gay pride parade, like every last homo attends that event. Big deal, one day, just ONE day out the year some gay dudes want to march (or rollerskate) down a few blocks in speedos and angel wings. At least once or twice a week at the workplace, my male straight co-workers, mostly the single ones, ALWAYS are talking about "this hot chick", and "she is sooo hot", or "she's got a nice butt", and a whole lot worse. Now I can never chime in with, "damn that UPS guy has great forearms". That would be silly, plus that isn't my style anyway.

Most straight males are just disgusted with gay men for the possible fact that gay men just might treat them the way they treat women. Like sex objects.

PDogz said:

johnart said:

For the straight folk, imagine if everytime you mentioned your wife/husband/bf/gf, held their hand in public, they gave you a pec on the cheek (I'm not talkin full on makeout tho folk do that shit too) there was folk there bitchin about "Why do you have to flaunt your sexuality in my face?" That is some dumb bullshit that NEEDS TO STOP because it sucks and it's ignorant and unintelligent behavior.

[Edited 10/22/10 14:41pm]

Lammastide said:

johnart said:

But for me, personally, the issue I take with this is you'd never ask someone "Is it important that you discuss your Black, Latino, Asian...and so on heritage/culture/etc with everyone?" Sexual identity (not habits or what specifically one might be "into", but identity is as much a part of us as our skin color, family roots, etc.

And i know the question was not asked of me, but Imma stick my 2cents in there anyway... yes it is most definitely important for me to discuss things about myself in an open and honest manner.

[Edited 10/22/10 11:59am]

I agree, John. But I need to ask: Was there ever a time in your life when you may not have been ready to do this? And might this be true for many others?

I ask because I don't think the issue here (not in the greater conversation, anyway) is whether LGBTQs should behave themselves in public for others, but rather somewhat of the opposite: Are they obliged to publicly be the LGBTQ person others assume they are... on cue? I think bending to either demand can be tantamount to selling out.

[Edited 10/22/10 14:34pm]

I have been open about who I am since my mid-teens. I realize this is not the case for everyone and I don't think anybody should be obliged to publicly be anything.

I do think that if the person in question makes a big stand (political, religious or otherwise) against gays, gay rights or equality, then they do deserve to be dragged out of the closet kickin and screamin because they are actually doing harm. I'm not saying Tyler fits this description. I think there's a big difference between minding your own and not coming out till you're ready vs. it would benefit many to see you as a successful and shining role model.

I just get sick of people asking (however innocently sometimes) do we have to discuss our sexuality with everyone?? when most often we're just having a normal discussion about our lives and who we are just as a straight person does.

johnart said:

Lammastide said:

I agree, John. But I need to ask: Was there ever a time in your life when you may not have been ready to do this? And might this be true for many others?

I ask because I don't think the issue here (not in the greater conversation, anyway) is whether LGBTQs should behave themselves in public for others, but rather somewhat of the opposite: Are they obliged to publicly be the LGBTQ person others assume they are... on cue? I think bending to either demand can be tantamount to selling out.

[Edited 10/22/10 14:34pm]

I have been open about who I am since my mid-teens. I realize this is not the case for everyone and I don't think anybody should be obliged to publicly be anything.

I do think that if the person in question makes a big stand (political, religious or otherwise) against gays, gay rights or equality, then they do deserve to be dragged out of the closet kickin and screamin because they are actually doing harm. I'm not saying Tyler fits this description. I think there's a big difference between minding your own and not coming out till you're ready vs. it would benefit many to see you as a successful and shining role model.

I just get sick of people asking (however innocently sometimes) do we have to discuss our sexuality with everyone?? when most often we're just having a normal discussion about our lives and who we are just as a straight person does.

Good post.

phunkdaddy said:

sosgemini said:

I've actually given an academic lecture on the subject of homosexuality within the African American community and the role that black media plays in perpetuating homophobia within the black community and how that has created a toxic environment that increases HIV and AIDS rats within our black community. I think I am being civil and respectful of other's opinions during my conversations and within this thread. If you can't deal with an adult discussion then why don't you go post on the uptenth dildo thread or something. Cause I'm challenging thought and not forcing my opinion on you or anyone else.

I swear man....seriously.

That's the problem. You actually believe you come off intellectual but you really come off

as stupid. I challenged you on something and you can't deal yet you accuse others of

being on a witch hunt to prove a point and you're doing the same exact thing only worse.

It's not even that serious man. Let's agree to disagree. Moving on.

What in the world did you challenge me on? What witch hunt am I on? I feel like we taking part in two totally different threads. I don't get it.

johnart said:

KatSkrizzle said:

johnart said:

That dude like it up in there so deep his eyes water.

Oh shit!!! John you kill me!!!

Whaaaaaaaaaat???