so as i was walking home from my son's school this morning i was thinking about this topic. the neighborhood i live in is very wealthy. most people make over $200,000 a year. and in the city i live in the average yearly income is over $100,000. but there is some poor people here as well, and we do have some low income apartments in the city. what i've noticed is that the people with money seem to stand and talk in their own little groups in the morning in the school yard before school starts. and most of the mom's look each other up and down as if to try and guess what designer clothing the other is wearing. and the people with less money seem to be sort of the black sheep of the crowd. the poor people don't get invited to the house parties, or to lunch, or their kids to playdates. i find all of this odd. becuase i really could care less how much money a person makes. i'm no where near wealthy. my husband is an operations manager of our local walmart. and i've noticed that when the other parents at my son's school find this out, my son stops getting invited to birthday parties and playdates. what do you think? can rich people and poor people be friends? i see a big divide in my own community.

Can rich and poor be friends, yes.

But ARE rich and poor friends? Not usually.

[Edited 10/13/10 9:08am]

My experience growing up (in left-wing Sweden) was that it was the haves that were shunned by the have nots, not the other way around. It was enough that your parents had a decent car, or an ever so slightly larger house or apartment, or perhaps were able to occasionally go outside Scandinavia on holiday and the other kids would block you out. Usually the poorest kids with communist-leaning parents who could barely afford to keep their clothes clean were usually the most popular.

Even as an adult you can be looked upon with great suspicion if you're not in the low to medium income bracket. There are of course the occasional snooty rich folks too, but they're small in numbers and are usually so wealthy that they don't even hang out in regular areas anyway.

retina said:

My experience growing up (in left-wing Sweden) was that it was the haves that were shunned by the have nots, not the other way around. It was enough that your parents had a decent car, or an ever so slightly larger house or apartment, or perhaps were able to occasionally go outside Scandinavia on holiday and the other kids would block you out. Usually the poorest kids with communist-leaning parents who could barely afford to keep their clothes clean were usually the most popular.

Even as an adult you can be looked upon with great suspicion if you're not in the low to medium income bracket. There are of course the occasional snooty rich folks too, but they're small in numbers and are usually so wealthy that they don't even hang out in regular areas anyway.

thanks for your response, very interesting. i never thought of it happening the other way around.

JustErin said:

Can rich and poor be friends, yes.

But ARE rich and poor friends? Not usually.

[Edited 10/13/10 9:08am]

i think you're right.

Yeah, I know thats kinda how it is here too.

Now, I wouldn't consider anyone really in this area rich.

But anyways, when I was married, I was well off for in this area. And I was a stay at home mom who did the play date mani pedi screw off all day with the other stay at home moms.

Now I'm poor, and I have lost the majority of my so called friends. I wouldn't say it was entirely on purpose or that they are snooty bitches. Just that we no longer have much in common.

All my friends are Superfriends

Never had this problem, really. My family is full of smartass cynics and they just avoid everyone, rich, poor, assholes or whatever...

I don't really get involved with people and their crap-I like to stay be myself just cuz I freaking hate people But with that being said the community I live in has alittle bit of everybody, but you can see class difference at the schools and such. Class is just more bullshit to keep regular, average folks so called in their places. I have a degree in Sociology and have taken many classes on the subject and the whole class system really is just that a tool to separate rich from poor.

ugh, the amount of stick i got for having a *somewhat* posh upbringing...

...Insert Tammy 2:2 here????

whistle said:

ugh, the amount of stick i got for having a *somewhat* posh upbringing...

my mum used to drive an old volvo, a car that is IMPORTED

I lived in a small country town, and if you didn't drive a ford or holden, then you were RICH and a snob.

I now live in a suburb where it seems folks are pretty even keel income wise.

That's nice. We ALL shop at Target and have 5-10 year old cars

kimrachell, we live in one of the wealthier areas of our city, and the kind of behavior you mention, from the hockey mom huddles to the wardrobe reviews to the strategic playdates, is very much standard here -- not so much with the kids (well... not until they are in middle school, by which time they're conditioned into this sort of thing), but definitely with the parents.

I'll spare you the stories (and, believe me, I've got lots of those ), but let me just tell you to not let those people make you feel "less." Find 2 or 3 families that make loyal friends, exploit those resources of a rich neighborhood/school district that will best serve your family and your kid's education, and be sure to stay grounded beyond that community, where your kid might more readily make substantive connections even if he may feel increasingly different where you are now. You'll be OK.

Its really hard to say, it just depends on the personality and temperament of your kids most times...

People are funny tho, If they feel they can figure you out and get next to ya, for some reason, maybe their own personal sport, they try ya!

Some wanna make you feel like crap, cause they are crappy themselves (finding out a lil dirt on 'em always levels the playing field... )

There are even others who will see you are friends with someone else and start complaining about that!

Momma used to say smiling faces tell lies, you remember that . (no backlash haters!!)

And to be honest with ya, I forgo a ton of parties just because of the perception i pick up on folks who have an opinion of me and never got to know me. You'll learn the difference. Sometimes I feel bad, but then i tell myself, well, they have some other crap happening, or damn i must look like shyt today .... Either way, like Zombee said, we all gotta make a meal, make a bed, make a home, n make some shyt happen!!! ...........

Lammastide said:

kimrachell, we live in one of the wealthier areas of our city, and the kind of behavior you mention, from the hockey mom huddles to the wardrobe reviews to the strategic playdates, is very much standard here -- not so much with the kids (well... not until they are in middle school, by which time they're conditioned into this sort of thing), but definitely with the parents.

I'll spare you the stories (and, believe me, I've got lots of those ), but let me just tell you to not let those people make you feel "less." Find 2 or 3 families that make loyal friends, exploit those resources of a rich neighborhood/school district that will best serve your family and your kid's education, and be sure to stay grounded beyond that community, where your kid might more readily make substantive connections even if he may feel increasingly different where you are now. You'll be OK.

thanks so much for your advice! what a great post!

myfavorite said:

Its really hard to say, it just depends on the personality and temperament of your kids most times...

People are funny tho, If they feel they can figure you out and get next to ya, for some reason, maybe their own personal sport, they try ya!

Some wanna make you feel like crap, cause they are crappy themselves (finding out a lil dirt on 'em always levels the playing field... )

There are even others who will see you are friends with someone else and start complaining about that!

Momma used to say smiling faces tell lies, you remember that . (no backlash haters!!)

And to be honest with ya, I forgo a ton of parties just because of the perception i pick up on folks who have an opinion of me and never got to know me. You'll learn the difference. Sometimes I feel bad, but then i tell myself, well, they have some other crap happening, or damn i must look like shyt today .... Either way, like Zombee said, we all gotta make a meal, make a bed, make a home, n make some shyt happen!!! ...........

yeah, there are a lot of "fake" people too.

ZombieKitten said:

whistle said:

ugh, the amount of stick i got for having a *somewhat* posh upbringing...

my mum used to drive an old volvo, a car that is IMPORTED

I lived in a small country town, and if you didn't drive a ford or holden, then you were RICH and a snob.

I now live in a suburb where it seems folks are pretty even keel income wise.

That's nice. We ALL shop at Target and have 5-10 year old cars

that's good, then you don't have everybody trying to keep up with one another.

I'm not rich, but I do alright and I get along with my broke ass ex just fine.

This whole keepin' up with the Joneses thing is so very tired...

Sorry to hear you have to be exposed to that...

ZombieKitten said:

whistle said:

ugh, the amount of stick i got for having a *somewhat* posh upbringing...

my mum used to drive an old volvo, a car that is IMPORTED

I lived in a small country town, and if you didn't drive a ford or holden, then you were RICH and a snob.

I now live in a suburb where it seems folks are pretty even keel income wise.

That's nice. We ALL shop at Target and have 5-10 year old cars

Ummmm dam, love that avatar Zombiekitten

kpowers said:

ZombieKitten said:

my mum used to drive an old volvo, a car that is IMPORTED

I lived in a small country town, and if you didn't drive a ford or holden, then you were RICH and a snob.

I now live in a suburb where it seems folks are pretty even keel income wise.

That's nice. We ALL shop at Target and have 5-10 year old cars

Ummmm dam, love that avatar Zombiekitten

awww lawd, here we go, thats why i dont talk.

Number one, I am a super-human dog! I pray for the crumbs that fall from the masters table.

Sorry, I got confused at schol. really, im not even qualified to speak on not only this but any forum.

You know those people with their asses on their shoulders now might be dragging them behind themselves shortly. With the economy in the toilet, a lot of those so-called "rich" folk might find themselves on the outside looking in if/when they lose their jobs/inheritances/trust funds, whatever. The higher up they are, the longer and harder the fall down. Nothing pleases me more than to see some snooty ass, shallow person fall from grace.

Nene Leakes, one of the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" talks about this very thing in her book. She said she lives in an exclusive gated community where all the women drive Mercedes and buy designer clothes and jewels. Before she got on the show, those women paid her ass no mind, completely ignored her and didn't even speak. Now that she's made a name for herself as a so-called "celebrity," they're falling all over themselves to hook up with her.

Shyra said:

You know those people with their asses on their shoulders now might be dragging them behind themselves shortly. With the economy in the toilet, a lot of those so-called "rich" folk might find themselves on the outside looking in if/when they lose their jobs/inheritances/trust funds, whatever. The higher up they are, the longer and harder the fall down. Nothing pleases me more than to see some snooty ass, shallow person fall from grace.

Nene Leakes, one of the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" talks about this very thing in her book. She said she lives in an exclusive gated community where all the women drive Mercedes and buy designer clothes and jewels. Before she got on the show, those women paid her ass no mind, completely ignored her and didn't even speak. Now that she's made a name for herself as a so-called "celebrity," they're falling all over themselves to hook up with her.

Any why is everyone so hard on poor Nene??? I love her.

Honestbabe said:

According to Prince they can be friends. Most of my rich friends act like they need money more than my poor friends. Being poor actually saves you money. Think about it. I find Nene Leakes amusing. I think she got a good nose job. Nene is looking better this season but people with money need to realize it's what's on the inside that's most important.

true!

Shyra said:

You know those people with their asses on their shoulders now might be dragging them behind themselves shortly. With the economy in the toilet, a lot of those so-called "rich" folk might find themselves on the outside looking in if/when they lose their jobs/inheritances/trust funds, whatever. The higher up they are, the longer and harder the fall down. Nothing pleases me more than to see some snooty ass, shallow person fall from grace.

Nene Leakes, one of the "Real Housewives of Atlanta" talks about this very thing in her book. She said she lives in an exclusive gated community where all the women drive Mercedes and buy designer clothes and jewels. Before she got on the show, those women paid her ass no mind, completely ignored her and didn't even speak. Now that she's made a name for herself as a so-called "celebrity," they're falling all over themselves to hook up with her.

yes, a lot of people have went from having tons of money to be in the poor house with this economy.

myfavorite said:

awww lawd, here we go, thats why i dont talk.

Number one, I am a super-human dog! I pray for the crumbs that fall from the masters table.

Sorry, I got confused at schol. really, im not even qualified to speak on not only this but any forum.

what's wrong?

......THe thread title puts me in the mind of....The Pit, the Palace and the Prison........ I think Joseph had the same dilema.

kimrachell said:

ZombieKitten said:

my mum used to drive an old volvo, a car that is IMPORTED

I lived in a small country town, and if you didn't drive a ford or holden, then you were RICH and a snob.

I now live in a suburb where it seems folks are pretty even keel income wise.

That's nice. We ALL shop at Target and have 5-10 year old cars

that's good, then you don't have everybody trying to keep up with one another.

although I'm probably in denial, I wouldn't recognise designer stuff if it slapped me in the face. If it looks nice, I think it must be from Target, not K-Mart or Big W.