Each year approximately 1 million pregnancies end in miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, or the death of a newborn. Grieving families seldom come to terms with the tragedy of losing their child. The United States House of Represented has declared October as Infant loss Awareness month.

Support those of us who have lost a precious little one...

www.october15th.com

My heart goes out to all you suffer - you are not alone.

Had no idea such a thing existed. It's good there is some support for parents who lose their babies.

But....why is abortion included? That's a choice one makes when they don't want to be pregnant/parents, therefore it is not a loss like miscarriage, stillbirth or SIDS which is unexpected and out of a parent's control.

DesireeNevermind said:

Had no idea such a thing existed. It's good there is some support for parents who lose their babies.

But....why is abortion included? That's a choice one makes when they don't want to be pregnant/parents, therefore it is not a loss like miscarriage, stillbirth or SIDS which is unexpected and out of a parent's control.

the key word there is one

sometimes only one makes that decision

there are men

willing to accept the responsibility of a child

that lose children to abortion

because the mother doesn't want to accept the same responsibility

I'm not trying to turn this into an abortion debate

nobody else should either

but in those instances

I think it should be included

I know people who have lost babies

a very close friends son

died 2 hours after birth

my heart still breaks for her

My sister and her husband lost their daughter 4 weeks prior to being born.

The baby had gotten its umbelical cord caught around its neck and in trying to free itself ended up strangling itself. My sister chose to have a natural delivery even though the child had died.

The hospital was very supportive. They have a book with a lock of her hair, pictures.

Around the same time my sisters husbands mother seemed to be beating her cancer, when she received news of the death of her grandchild, her health went downhill from there She passed away shortly after. Permission was granted by the cemetary and the grandchild was buried at the head of that grandmothers grave.

I don't know how my mother kept it together in front of my sister. Or how she dealt with holding her dead grandchild.

orger said:

DesireeNevermind said:

Had no idea such a thing existed. It's good there is some support for parents who lose their babies.

But....why is abortion included? That's a choice one makes when they don't want to be pregnant/parents, therefore it is not a loss like miscarriage, stillbirth or SIDS which is unexpected and out of a parent's control.

the key word there is one

sometimes only one makes that decision

there are men

willing to accept the responsibility of a child

that lose children to abortion

because the mother doesn't want to accept the same responsibility

I'm not trying to turn this into an abortion debate

nobody else should either

but in those instances

I think it should be included

I know people who have lost babies

a very close friends son

died 2 hours after birth

my heart still breaks for her

Very good point!

I can not imagine the grief

my heart goes out.

orger said:

DesireeNevermind said:

Had no idea such a thing existed. It's good there is some support for parents who lose their babies.

But....why is abortion included? That's a choice one makes when they don't want to be pregnant/parents, therefore it is not a loss like miscarriage, stillbirth or SIDS which is unexpected and out of a parent's control.

the key word there is one

sometimes only one makes that decision

there are men

willing to accept the responsibility of a child

that lose children to abortion

because the mother doesn't want to accept the same responsibility

I'm not trying to turn this into an abortion debate

nobody else should either

but in those instances

I think it should be included

I know people who have lost babies

a very close friends son

died 2 hours after birth

my heart still breaks for her

Ahh good point. Sad too, but then that's a whole other can of worms. Sorry to hear about your friend's son.

Desiree that's a good question- some parents make the hard decision of termination when they are faced with a bad prognosis. Sometimes if the child has or will have terminal defects they can't bear to go full term so they terminate. The pain for them is unimaginable because they are the ones making the choice before "nature steps in".

My husband and I were faced with that- we chose to wait things out because we don't believe in abortion. Our daughter was born sleeping.

Evvy said:

Desiree that's a good question- some parents make the hard decision of termination when they are faced with a bad prognosis. Sometimes if the child has or will have terminal defects they can't bear to go full term so they terminate. The pain for them is unimaginable because they are the ones making the choice before "nature steps in".

My husband and I were faced with that- we chose to wait things out because we don't believe in abortion. Our daughter was born sleeping.

That's got to be agonizing. Abortion has become so politicized that we often forget sometimes it's a choice people make to keep the infant from being born into a state of suffering. I'ts bad I know but I can't help but think of Prince.

anyway...I'm glad you said "born sleeping". Did you get a chance to hold her and say goodbye?

DesireeNevermind said:

Evvy said:

Desiree that's a good question- some parents make the hard decision of termination when they are faced with a bad prognosis. Sometimes if the child has or will have terminal defects they can't bear to go full term so they terminate. The pain for them is unimaginable because they are the ones making the choice before "nature steps in".

My husband and I were faced with that- we chose to wait things out because we don't believe in abortion. Our daughter was born sleeping.

That's got to be agonizing. Abortion has become so politicized that we often forget sometimes it's a choice people make to keep the infant from being born into a state of suffering. I'ts bad I know but I can't help but think of Prince.

anyway...I'm glad you said "born sleeping". Did you get a chance to hold her and say goodbye?

thnaks for asking- it was a very traumatizing event...

Evvy said:

DesireeNevermind said:

That's got to be agonizing. Abortion has become so politicized that we often forget sometimes it's a choice people make to keep the infant from being born into a state of suffering. I'ts bad I know but I can't help but think of Prince.

anyway...I'm glad you said "born sleeping". Did you get a chance to hold her and say goodbye?

thnaks for asking- it was a very traumatizing event...

wow my friend lost her baby last week. her second miscarriage in 2 years.

my mother had several miscarriages and one who was born sleeping.

my best friend's first daughter was also born sleeping and my cousin lost a son to placental abruption.

I am sorry for your loss envy.

Evvy said:

Desiree that's a good question- some parents make the hard decision of termination when they are faced with a bad prognosis. Sometimes if the child has or will have terminal defects they can't bear to go full term so they terminate. The pain for them is unimaginable because they are the ones making the choice before "nature steps in".

My husband and I were faced with that- we chose to wait things out because we don't believe in abortion. Our daughter was born sleeping.

"The United States House of Represented has declared October as Infant loss Awareness month."

Really? Don't they have more important work to be doing than this?

Cerebus said:

"The United States House of Represented has declared October as Infant loss Awareness month."

Really? Don't they have more important work to be doing than this?

That is so cold of you

luv4u said:

Cerebus said:

"The United States House of Represented has declared October as Infant loss Awareness month."

Really? Don't they have more important work to be doing than this?

That is so cold of you

No, really, it's not. Vendetta sent me an orgnote regarding this and even though my response to her is of a somewhat personal nature I'm just going to copy and paste it right here. If you still think me cold after this *shrug* I got nothin' else...

"Look, I have compassion for their loss. The love of my life got pregnant when she was 18 and I was 20. We both knew we didn't want kids (still don't, and she still one of my very best friends) so she made the arrangements and got an abortion (I was actually in the room holding her hand). My sister has given up a child for adoption. My father (asshole that he is) and stepmother at the time had stillborn twins. I understand the loss. It sucks, and I feel for anybody who has gone through that. My words were strictly meant as commentary on our government, who sure as hell has something more important to be doing than naming OCTOBER National Infant Loss Awareness Month. I mean, WTF!? Do they REALLY think people are unaware that infants are lost? And do they think that's a more important way to spend our tax dollars than say, something relating to the education of the youth who survived? Grrrr!"

Without apologies, that's the way I feel about it.

^^^^^ Thanks for your explanation. I understand.

Cerebus said:

luv4u said:

That is so cold of you

No, really, it's not. Vendetta sent me an orgnote regarding this and even though my response to her is of a somewhat personal nature I'm just going to copy and paste it right here. If you still think me cold after this *shrug* I got nothin' else...

"Look, I have compassion for their loss. The love of my life got pregnant when she was 18 and I was 20. We both knew we didn't want kids (still don't, and she still one of my very best friends) so she made the arrangements and got an abortion (I was actually in the room holding her hand). My sister has given up a child for adoption. My father (asshole that he is) and stepmother at the time had stillborn twins. I understand the loss. It sucks, and I feel for anybody who has gone through that. My words were strictly meant as commentary on our government, who sure as hell has something more important to be doing than naming OCTOBER National Infant Loss Awareness Month. I mean, WTF!? Do they REALLY think people are unaware that infants are lost? And do they think that's a more important way to spend our tax dollars than say, something relating to the education of the youth who survived? Grrrr!"

Without apologies, that's the way I feel about it.

This was done in 2006- and unfortunately like anything else, infant loss is and was swept under the rug and hidden. Millions of people still don't know about the"back 2 sleep" campaign- regarding SIDS even though it has recieved tons more attention since 2006. How wonderful it would be if our "House of Representatives" would recognize EVERY need in this country- which doesn't happen. But we have to be grateful when something this importance gets National attention.

Yes people "know" about infant loss but how many magazines do you pick up and read articles about it? It's always parent's pushing strollers- healthy cheeked newborns or simply beautiful bouncing babies. People take it for granted- they think "well your pregnant you're gonna have a baby"- Almost never do you see grieving parents. Most people don't have any idea of what to say to grieving families, including doctors and nurses....

With all that being said- just like breast cancer, autism, and domestic violence, etc.. deserves awareness- Infants Loss does too. It IS NOT less important....

I had an ectopic pregnancy 10 years ago, they removed my tube as well as the foetus. Everyday I feel the scare where I was operated on. Fortunately I now have a little boy inspite of all the trauma. However I can never forget the child who was not born.

whatsgoingon said:

I had an ectopic pregnancy 10 years ago, they removed my tube as well as the foetus. Everyday I feel the scare where I was operated on. Fortunately I now have a little boy inspite of all the trauma. However I can never forget the child who was not born.

no of course not, you never will

whatsgoingon said:

I had an ectopic pregnancy 10 years ago, they removed my tube as well as the foetus. Everyday I feel the scare where I was operated on. Fortunately I now have a little boy inspite of all the trauma. However I can never forget the child who was not born.