[Edited 10/8/10 8:58am]

Vendetta1 said:

MoniGram said:

Interesting subject and I have had my share of it.

When I was a teenager I tried to kill myself and I have the scars on my wrists to remind me of that time in my life. I wanted to die due to my abusive Mother, my own self worth at being a child of adoption and having her adoptive Mother beat her and say she wished she never adopted me. It was a time in my life that I will never forget. I am thankful now that I didn't die, because I realize now what I would have missed out on.

Sadly my son who is 17 now had to deal with two friends taking their own lives. He was in 6th grade at the time and his dear friend hung himself in the tree house they use to play in. He killed himself because he was picked on in school for being nerdy etc...He would have graduated high school last year if he didn't do this. Picking on a child is awful and it angers me when it happens. I get upset with the kids doing it, and the parents that won't open their eyes and realize their child is a bully. That saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." So wrong!!! Words are the worst and can scar you for life.

Then about a month later my son's crush shot herself in the head in her bedroom because she thought her adoptive parents were going to give her back. Why she thought this way I don't know. This young lady left voice messages on her best friend's cell phone and my son's telling them good-bye. My son to this day has pictures of her hanging on his bedroom wall.

Both suicides deeply hurt my son, and broke my heart.

To everyone on this thread.

[Edited 10/8/10 6:16am]

Lammastide said:

First, forgive me as I have no idea what this thread may open up, but I think this might be an enlightening discussion...

With the recent highlight on LGBTQ teens grappling with the sheer will to stay alive amid enormous pressures, I'm somewhat curious about the broader question of all people -- and particularly youth -- who face the temptations of suicide. If you guys don't mind sharing, what's your history with suicide? Have any close friends/family members taken their lives? What are some of your thoughts about the phenomenon? Have you ever struggled with the temptation in younger years (or now)? If so, what sort of thing stopped/is stopping you? What, if anything, can others know/do that might help those suffering so deeply? Any general words for others who may be in this crisis?

I ask that we all appreciate the sensitivity and diversity of views around this topic, and thanks to those of you who are willing to contribute.

[Edited 10/7/10 14:16pm]

I used to never understand it, and quite frankly used to think there was something majorly wack about people who have done or attempted it. I could never understand what would lead someone to that point no matter how bad things may seem for them, and always thought them to be selfish and weak.

In the past two years, my views have changed on the subject.

For probably since I've met my ex husband he used to threaten suicide when he was in a rage, and so I always say suicide as a way to threaten, manipulate, and abuse a situation. Now I see that, he, and people like him that use it as a weapon would never commit suicide, and it makes me angry that they use the term so loosely in their anger.

A friend of mine actually commited suicide two weeks ago. At his job, and was found by a co worker. He was seemingly a very stable happy go lucky man. He was a pillar in the community, people loved him and he was friendly, and had helped me out of more than a few jams Id gotten myself into in the past 2 years. There was no note, no warning, his parents, fiance, friends, and co workers are still in complete shock. And the only reason I actually can believe he did it, is because its on survelance tape, or to this day I'd still say it was some sort of foul play.

2 other suicides that I know of, that happened to family members of close friends, were sort of the same way. No threats of suicide, no note, just seemingly out of the blue. It leads me to believe that maybe a lot of suicides are that way??? That you get to your wits end, and just do it, in the moment of total despair. Not saying this is true for everyone, but I think maybe thats the case a lot of times.

In my entire life, I never considered it, it was a scary thought to me that had never entered my head, and like I said, I could never imagine how others could do such a thing.......up until this past winter. I understood then, how people could do it. I believe I was at my rock bottom and say absolutely no hope for my future. I felt empty inside, and that there was no hope for me. The only ounce of light I say in my life were my children, and I felt I had destroyed their lives also. The only two things that mattered in the world to me, I felt my choices had ruined their lives. I'm afraid to even type out the thoughts that entered my head about what I would do about this awful predicament, my children and I were in........I could not believe I was thinking like the 'crazy women and mothers' you hear about only on tv.....but I was.

Obviously I never followed through with any of it, they were just thoughts, but the scary part is I was actually HAVING them, and felt that, they were the only option for my children and I at that point in time. It is scary that even if for brief incraments of time, I REALLY REALLY thought about doing these things.

This train of thought only happened through out a span of a couple months, and my mind is no longer anywhere near that dark place. But it was another growing/learning experience, that helped my small mind grow just a little more, if only to have more understanding of a situation I did not understand before.

To everybody who has either contemplated suicide, tried to commit suicide, or has lost a friend/loved one because of suicide.

It is a battle between the rational and irrational mind.

In high school I had a friend called Billie.

Her older half brother hung himself when he was in police custody overnight. He was on a student exchange program to South Africa - really bright kid, top student etc. VERY mysterious circumstances. It was on the news.

The worst thing about this, is that 2 weeks later, their other brother also took his own life. He was very close to his brother, I guess he couldn't face life without him.

They were KIDS, in their teens!!!

Imagine their mother and the 2 surviving sisters things have been extremely difficult for them, and still are, 20 years later. I can't bear to think how it would feel to lose 2 sons like that, how unhappy they must have been, how hopeless a place they must have come to, to even contemplate it!