I'm currently on the track for a promotion. My boss has been very, very supportive of me in this pursuit. He's given me great advice and acted as a mentor of sorts. He invited me to team meetings so that I could see what life is like "up there" and introduced me to HIS superiors so that I can begin networking. Recently, he got me out of my cubicle and into an internship in his bigtime office.

Now that I'm there, he's been acting really weird. The guy totally ignores me, just acts like I'm not there. He'll walk right past without so much as a hello. Mind you, this is after he's said hello to every single other person in the room. A few colleagues have noticed this and suspect he may not want to be accused of showing favoritism. But this is a guy who's polite and kind to EVERYBODY. Treating me like this is nothing short of rude. He's actually stopped at a table that I was sitting at eating with another colleague, stopped dead in his tracks to speak to her then kept right on going without even acknowledging my presence. This, despite the fact that I spoke to him.

Now I'm actually afraid I will never be able to count on him for a promotion if he's afraid of seeming as if he's showing favoritism.

He's made going into work each day difficult. Who wants to go to a place where they're treated as if they're invisible?

He probably wants to fuck you and, like your colleagues have suggested, is paranoid about being accused of favoritism. I can think of no other reason he would praise you to the heavens, then completely refuse to speak to you in front of others.

What a nut job. This happens so often with people in power. I'm sorry it's happening to you.

Did you thank him for his previous efforts on your behalf?

PunkMistress said:

He probably wants to fuck you and, like your colleagues have suggested, is paranoid about being accused of favoritism. I can think of no other reason he would praise you to the heavens, then completely refuse to speak to you in front of others.

What a nut job. This happens so often with people in power. I'm sorry it's happening to you.

Thanks for the honest and compassionate reply.

Not only does he not speak to me in front of others, the guy won't say a word to me PERIOD.

What's really weird is that before I found myself in his office, he was super friendly when he passed me in the halls, asking how my day was going, etc. Now I can't even get a decent hello or good morning. Weird!

As far as the fucking part, at what point will he realize his desires do not=justification for rudeness. (If that is his issue.)

And how presumptuous to assume I'd be willing to get into his bed! (Again, IF that is his issue.)

Genesia said:

Did you thank him for his previous efforts on your behalf?

Of course I showed the proper gratitude. Mind you, he didn't overextend himself on my behalf. He's been equally (if not even MORE) supportive of others in the office. He even CREATED a higher position for an old buddy of his and dismantled it when his buddy flucked up instead of just putting someone else in that spot. Another guy in the office got a promotion from him that left everyone scratching their heads. I'm just in internship/training mode now. And I worry I may never get to the next level---through him--by the way he's behaving.

Trust me, the first thing I did was run through my mind to think of anything I may have done to offend him.

Karen71 said:

Genesia said:

Did you thank him for his previous efforts on your behalf?

Of course I showed the proper gratitude. Mind you, he didn't overextend himself on my behalf. He's been equally (if not even MORE) supportive of others in the office. He even CREATED a higher position for an old buddy of his and dismantled it when his buddy flucked up instead of just putting someone else in that spot. Another guy in the office got a promotion from him that left everyone scratching their heads. I'm just in internship/training mode now. And I worry I may never get to the next level---through him--by the way he's behaving.

Trust me, the first thing I did was run through my mind to think of anything I may have done to offend him.

In that case, my suggestion is to be as polite and professional as you can to the flake - and cultivate other contacts. Never, ever, ever put all your professional eggs in one basket.

Genesia said:

Karen71 said:

Of course I showed the proper gratitude. Mind you, he didn't overextend himself on my behalf. He's been equally (if not even MORE) supportive of others in the office. He even CREATED a higher position for an old buddy of his and dismantled it when his buddy flucked up instead of just putting someone else in that spot. Another guy in the office got a promotion from him that left everyone scratching their heads. I'm just in internship/training mode now. And I worry I may never get to the next level---through him--by the way he's behaving.

Trust me, the first thing I did was run through my mind to think of anything I may have done to offend him.

In that case, my suggestion is to be as polite and professional as you can to the flake - and cultivate other contacts. Never, ever, ever put all your professional eggs in one basket.

Great advice. I think I will just keep it polite and professional.

However, in this particular business and area I won't be able to progress without his support. The very first person who will be called for a reference is him. On the other hand, I have IMPECCABLE credentials and may be able to work around him.

Karen71 said:

Genesia said:

In that case, my suggestion is to be as polite and professional as you can to the flake - and cultivate other contacts. Never, ever, ever put all your professional eggs in one basket.

Great advice. I think I will just keep it polite and professional.

However, in this particular business and area I won't be able to progress without his support. The very first person who will be called for a reference is him. On the other hand, I have IMPECCABLE credentials and may be able to work around him.

I wouldn't advise that. The last thing you want if someone asks him about you, would be for him to out you as devious for trying to "end run" him.

When I said, "cultivate other contacts," I simply meant that you should work to gain a broader reputation as a great employee and team player. Trying to work around the boss is never a good look.

Genesia said:

Karen71 said:

Great advice. I think I will just keep it polite and professional.

However, in this particular business and area I won't be able to progress without his support. The very first person who will be called for a reference is him. On the other hand, I have IMPECCABLE credentials and may be able to work around him.

I wouldn't advise that. The last thing you want if someone asks him about you, would be for him to out you as devious for trying to "end run" him.

When I said, "cultivate other contacts," I simply meant that you should work to gain a broader reputation as a great employee and team player. Trying to work around the boss is never a good look.

More great advice.

By "work around him" I meant that when it's time for promotion I may be able to do it by finding favor elsewhere, perhaps higher up the food chain. I would NEVER try to go behind his back and interview or anything of that sort. As I said, the FIRST person anyone would ever call is him.

hmmm seems to me that he may be feeling a little threatened by u now, and maybe regrets helping u out......so he just tries to ignore u

Or it could be his immature way to teach u to "know your place" and "stay in your lane" ya know??

So, out of the blue Flaky Boss just started speaking to me again. We're back to friendly.

Weird.

I never knew men could be so hormonal.

At least I'll know not to sweat it next time, but I still don't get it. Then there's always the discomfort of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Something has been said, or is otherwise "going around" that has not been brought to your attention. And if that is indeed the case, I wouldn't expect for much good to come in the form of promotion. I would suggest to just keep performing your job to the best of your ability, and to look for advancement opportunities through other means.

Karen71 said:

I never knew men could be so hormonal.

I would suggest that something other than hormones were at work here. And based on what's already been demonstrated, I wouldn't get too comfortable if I were you.

Just do outstanding work. You received the promotion based on merit not on "ass kissing" ability. Continue to treat everyone professional and courteous. At the end of the day, being smart, reliable, & dependable will lead to success. Stay focused and don't take things personal. It's business.

Maybe he felt threatened - he is insecure it seems and needs to go on a people management course.

I hope that the turn around lasts. Please still bear in mind that he is insecure and keep it professional, courteous and polite.

BTW - well done on the promotion I am sure that you will be awesome in your new position.

Karen71 said:

Rise above the petty nonsense and just "kick ass" at your job.

purpledoveuk said:

Karen71 said:

I'm currently on the track for a promotion. My boss has been very, very supportive of me in this pursuit. He's given me great advice and acted as a mentor of sorts. He invited me to team meetings so that I could see what life is like "up there" and introduced me to HIS superiors so that I can begin networking. Recently, he got me out of my cubicle and into an internship in his bigtime office.

Now that I'm there, he's been acting really weird. The guy totally ignores me, just acts like I'm not there. He'll walk right past without so much as a hello. Mind you, this is after he's said hello to every single other person in the room. A few colleagues have noticed this and suspect he may not want to be accused of showing favoritism. But this is a guy who's polite and kind to EVERYBODY. Treating me like this is nothing short of rude. He's actually stopped at a table that I was sitting at eating with another colleague, stopped dead in his tracks to speak to her then kept right on going without even acknowledging my presence. This, despite the fact that I spoke to him.

Now I'm actually afraid I will never be able to count on him for a promotion if he's afraid of seeming as if he's showing favoritism.

He's made going into work each day difficult. Who wants to go to a place where they're treated as if they're invisible?

GET BACK TO WORK - I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO MOAN ABOUT ME ON HERE!!! Only kidding, I know what you mean about people blowing hot and cold...bravado, image and status makes people do funny things at funny times. Where I work I constantly helped my boss find her feet when she started and made a huge difference to the organisation by helping her get some serious issues sorted within her first few months; to everyone it looked like she had done it singlehandedly but I didn't mind and she was always quick to acknowledge my work and say hi and chat etc. Then she got promoted again and, if other people were around, she wouldn't have pissed on me if I was on fire...if she was alone shed sometimes say hi but more often than not she'd try to look busy. Can't be seen to mix with the peasants Also I got sent on a course and, from that course I spent months put together a business plan that will solve a problem that has rumbled on for years...100% it is the answer. However because a big cheese can't take the credit for it, it has been totally ignored at every attempt to get it aknowledged and we are just plodding sling still saying "what can we do about x,y,z??" - cutting off the nose to spite the face [Edited 9/23/10 0:51am]

You sound like you're too good for that job and those people.

nd33 said:

Since Dan/Imago/Asianboi777/???? isn't here to ask.....ummmm...first...are you hot?

Second....in all seriousness....some people like to make people believe they truely have their best interest in mind, i.e. showing support for them when they are in persuit of a promotion when in all honesty they are insecure and like feeling they have a position of superiority....THEN....when the payoff comes....like a promotion....they're insecurities regarding their "place" surface and they feel resentment or possibly a sense of competitiveness that wasn't there when they held a higher position than you....then their true colors show through....

Just an opinion....

Thank you all for the wonderful advice.

I'm not sure if being threatened by me is the case. For one, my promotion would have to be under him. It would be several years before I could even think about being considered for his position. He's always going to be ahead of me unless I make a drastic move in the next few years or so.

However, I do agree with the advice to just keep doing a kick ass job, keep it professional and not take it personally.

PDogz said:

Something has been said, or is otherwise "going around" that has not been brought to your attention. And if that is indeed the case, I wouldn't expect for much good to come in the form of promotion. I would suggest to just keep performing your job to the best of your ability, and to look for advancement opportunities through other means.

I thought of this as well. If that's the case, it's too bad he doesn't know how to handle himself more professionally and realize that whatever's going around is not my fault and that treating me so unkindly isn't cool.

And if that's the case, it's odd that a week or so later he's back to himself.

Who can understand you men?!

And I thought it's women who're supposed to be complicated.

Karen71 said:

PDogz said:

Something has been said, or is otherwise "going around" that has not been brought to your attention. And if that is indeed the case, I wouldn't expect for much good to come in the form of promotion. I would suggest to just keep performing your job to the best of your ability, and to look for advancement opportunities through other means.

I thought of this as well. If that's the case, it's too bad he doesn't know how to handle himself more professionally and realize that whatever's going around is not my fault and that treating me so unkindly isn't cool.

And if that's the case, it's odd that a week or so later he's back to himself.

Who can understand you men?!

And I thought it's women who're supposed to be complicated.

Trust me: Men are much more complicated than many women realize. Women, in my opinion, seem to WANT to be understood; not always the case with men. Wishing you much success with your career.