Have any of you (girls especially) been approached by creepy people who wouldn't leave you alone? Today I had this fob follow me out of a mall food court allllllll the way to my fucking bus stop.

He wouldn't leave me alone!!! He kept talking, oblivious to the fact that I was quickly trying to hurry away, looking for someone to help me out.

He kept saying how I walked like an angel and other mushy disgusting shit.

Then he had the nerve to ask me if I wanted a ride home (does he think I'm an idiot? That's a recipe for RAPE!!!)

He kept asking if he could "contact" me and when my bus finally came, he held out his hand. When I shook it politely, HE WOULDNT LET GO!!

I was wayy to nice letting him walk with me and talking to him. I even gave him my name (LIKE A MORON). I'm too damn nice and honest, I've been kicking myself about it all day. I should have gone straight up ghetto on his ass.

Anyone been through a similar situation? How did you handle it? Any advice for future reference (especially if I see him again -- what do I do?)

You should of gone back to the mall and asked someone in a store to call mall security. Would of been safer to stay in a public place with lots of people who could help you should something go wrong.

Maybe the dude has mental issues

I was pretty lucky that the area (mall to bus stop) I was in was heavily populated with pedestrians. I was never alone with the creep. But I learned my lesson. I have to be a bitch.

2Naby7 said:

I was pretty lucky that the area (mall to bus stop) I was in was heavily populated with pedestrians. I was never alone with the creep. But I learned my lesson. I have to be a bitch.

Basically. Your safety > his feelings.

Fresh Off the Boat?

I mean, really?

2Naby7 said:

I was pretty lucky that the area (mall to bus stop) I was in was heavily populated with pedestrians. I was never alone with the creep. But I learned my lesson. I have to be a bitch.

Very risky to deal with an unpredictable situation. Your safety comes first. Think with your head.

luv4u said:

You should of gone back to the mall and asked someone in a store to call mall security. Would of been safer to stay in a public place with lots of people who could help you should something go wrong.

Maybe the dude has mental issues

First, you should have said politely, "I'm not interested, please leave me alone now." Then you DEFINITELY should have gone back in and asked somebody for assistance. That's WAY creepy. Disturbing even.

UNLESS he offered you free candy. Saying no to some complimentary Now n Laters would just be silly.

Cerebus said:

luv4u said:

You should of gone back to the mall and asked someone in a store to call mall security. Would of been safer to stay in a public place with lots of people who could help you should something go wrong.

Maybe the dude has mental issues

First, you should have said politely, "I'm not interested, please leave me alone now." Then you DEFINITELY should have gone back in and asked somebody for assistance. That's WAY creepy. Disturbing even.

I've had people approach me downtown because they needed money, etc. Usually I just ignore them, and they leave me alone. But this one day, I had this lady come up to me, asking me for money, and she had a gentlemen with her. I started to walk away from her, and do you know, this woman had the nerve to follow right behind me, still talking!! I finally got so pissed, that I hollered out, "MA'AM, I'M NOT INTERESTED!!!!" She backed off from me in a hurry when she saw how angry I got. Sometimes you have to be bitchy so that people get the message that you're not a person to be messed with. I can't stand people who bug you and won't leave you alone, it drives me nuts. I don't have any patience for it, and will not tolerate it.

i remember years ago this guy approached me in bellahouston park in glasgow ...it was a beautiful hot day..( doesnt happen very much in scotland) and i had taken my top off...he just came up to me and started talking about general things but within a few minutes i realised that he wasnt just being friendly....he was chatting me up ???....so i started to make my excuses and say i had to go home and he said he was going that way soo he would walk me home ?....now i know i should have told him to politely F**K OFF.....but i am not like that soo i gritted my teeth and started walking home with this guy who wanted to do some bare arse boxing with me....

.

when i was almost home...he said to me....would you like to come home wiith me for a cup of tea !!! ....i said no thanks and ran like the wind down to my house.....

.

i dont think i would have got two sugars with that guy

[Edited 9/15/10 1:02am]

[Edited 9/15/10 1:16am]

blackbob said:

i remember years ago this guy approached me in bellahouston park in glasgow ...it was a beautiful hot day..( doesnt happen very much in scotland) and i had taken my top off...he just came up to me and started talking about general things but within a few minutes i realised that he wasnt just being friendly....he was chatting me up ???....so i started to make my excuses and say i had to go home and he said he was going that way soo he would walk me home ?....now i now i should have told him to politely F**K OFF.....but i am not like that soo i gritted my teeth and started walking home with this guy who wanted to do some bare arse boxing with me....

.

when i was almost home...he said to me....would you like to come home wiith me for a cup of tea !!! ....i said no thanks and ran like the wind down to my house.....

.

i dont think i would have got two sugars with that guy

[Edited 9/15/10 1:02am]

lol @ bare arse boxing.

It happened to me in Paris a few years ago. I left my husband at the hotel and went shopping jus down the road from where we were staying. A man came up to me and just started talking to me. I told him I couldn't understand him and started walking away and he followed me into a shop... then he started talking English and asked me where I was staying, trying to make conversation about Paris... I completely ignored him but he wouldn't leave me alone... I had to make my way back to the hotel ducking in and out of shops. I was terrified.

2Naby7 said:

I was pretty lucky that the area (mall to bus stop) I was in was heavily populated with pedestrians. I was never alone with the creep. But I learned my lesson. I have to be a bitch.

Being a bitch won't always save you if an approaching stranger might be off balance mentally. Next time march yourself right back into the mall or whatever crowded place you've just left and ask for assistance.

My sister had three guys following her from work to her aparment on their scooters the other day. (she lives in a different city now cause of her job etc)

Told her to least walk with a friend from now on. Lil overprotective maybe but really guys can be disturbing.

2Naby7 said:

Have any of you (girls especially) been approached by creepy people who wouldn't leave you alone? Today I had this fob follow me out of a mall food court allllllll the way to my fucking bus stop.

He wouldn't leave me alone!!! He kept talking, oblivious to the fact that I was quickly trying to hurry away, looking for someone to help me out.

He kept saying how I walked like an angel and other mushy disgusting shit.

Then he had the nerve to ask me if I wanted a ride home (does he think I'm an idiot? That's a recipe for RAPE!!!)

He kept asking if he could "contact" me and when my bus finally came, he held out his hand. When I shook it politely, HE WOULDNT LET GO!!

I was wayy to nice letting him walk with me and talking to him. I even gave him my name (LIKE A MORON). I'm too damn nice and honest, I've been kicking myself about it all day. I should have gone straight up ghetto on his ass.

Anyone been through a similar situation? How did you handle it? Any advice for future reference (especially if I see him again -- what do I do?)

fucking HELL you hit a nerve with this one.

yeah. i have advice. trust NO ONE. don't drink something a stranger buys you. if you have a bad gut feeling about a situation, run like hell. do NOT be afraid to make a scene. get your ass out of their on the double.

and this is the irony. when you stick up for yourself you WILL be called a bitch. because even though your life may be at stake, the world won't ever let you forget you're just a woman, your place is not to question but to obey...

i had an encounter with a poor gent the other day.

he was fully forty feet ahead of me when he reached the door, but he caught site of me and stopped dead in the doorway, holding the door for me. waiting the entire time i crossed the parking lot.

under other cirucmstancs this might have been considered courtesy. in this case i felt that he had decided to take control of my entry into the store. i thanked him, insincerely it's true, but sure enough, he didn't just hold the door, he also kind of playfully blocked my way, forcing me to interact.... 'just messing with you' he said as i tried to pass...

please. if that's how it is i'll open my own fucking doors in life.....

[Edited 9/15/10 5:55am]

Creepy men bother me all the time... I see one almost everyday on my running route... I think he's homeless... We used to exchange friendly good mornings until one day he told me I look good, now he tells me that each time... The look in his eye is just creepy!

I wont even get started on shit that happens at walmart...

Oh, geez. I hate walking in the city some times. When I was in college this shit used to happen to me at least once a week. I asked one of my male buddies why that always happened to me when my room mate could walk around and no one bothered her. He told me, "You look too sweet and nice. You're pretty and walk around with a smile on your face. You need to start looking evil." Well, I took his advice and started frowning when some undesireable approched me.

But once I couldn's shake this asshole when I was in downtown DC. This mofo followed behind me muttering obscenities. It was like being verbally raped. When I got to the crosswalk to cross the street, the light turned red and I had to wait. This fool stood right beside me muttering his filth. I looked at him at shouted, "SHUT UP YOU FILTHY BASTARD!" He just kep it up. I finally had to run into the MLK Library (not my destination) to shake his ass.

Then it's the panhandlers sometimes that annoy me. However, this one man took the cake. I was coming out of the bank and he said, "Miss. Can I borrow a dollar please?" I looked at him and said, "Man, you don't know me from Adam's house cat. How in the world are you going to pay me back? I'll probably never see you again!" I felt sorry for him and said, "Here. I'll GIVE you this dollar. Just don't drink it up."

I'm sorry but some of this homeless bashing is getting on my nerves. They tend to be treated like shit, so that's why they lash out.

I should of yelled "SECURITY!" like Dave Chappelle when he played Rick James.

2Naby7 said:

I should of yelled "SECURITY!" like Dave Chappelle when he played Rick James.

Joking around about a serious subject. You want our advice or not??

Look into taking some self defence courses.

So, if a guy ask for a date you will call the cops? I hate to break this to you but what he did wasn't illegal. Unless he says something violent or touches you you really cannot do much. Sure, the boss cannot be sexist but if some guy on the street yells "nice ass," that is free speech. You do have the right to tell him to go fuck himself, but you knew that.

Americans watch too much television. The chance of getting raped is rare. Be cautious, sure, but I am worried about man bashing. This is why young boys have no self esteem.

Crime is down not up. Turn the tv off.

2freaky4church1 said:

So, if a guy ask for a date you will call the cops? I hate to break this to you but what he did wasn't illegal. Unless he says something violent or touches you you really cannot do much. Sure, the boss cannot be sexist but if some guy on the street yells "nice ass," that is free speech. You do have the right to tell him to go fuck himself, but you knew that.

Americans watch too much television. The chance of getting raped is rare. Be cautious, sure, but I am worried about man bashing. This is why young boys have no self esteem.

Crime is down not up. Turn the tv off.

wtf? did you read what she said up there? this isn't man-bashing, this is the experience of someone who was harassed on the street by a guy who wouldn't leave her alone.

young men and boys with self-esteem issues did NOT develop them because someone fended off their unwanted advances. trust me on this one

He wouldn't leave me alone!!! He kept talking, oblivious to the fact that I was quickly trying to hurry away, looking for someone to help me out.

He kept saying how I walked like an angel and other mushy disgusting shit.

Then he had the nerve to ask me if I wanted a ride home (does he think I'm an idiot? That's a recipe for RAPE!!!)

He kept asking if he could "contact" me and when my bus finally came, he held out his hand. When I shook it politely, HE WOULDNT LET GO!!

2freaky4church1 said:

I'm sorry but some of this homeless bashing is getting on my nerves. They tend to be treated like shit, so that's why they lash out.

Sorry, but it's a fact that many homeless have one kind of mental illness or another. There's no argument against that. Also, I live in the Bay Area where we basically have a giant sign flashing "Homeless Vacancy", inviting them to come live here. I've had more interaction than I can count on both hands with angry, agressive and even a violent homeless person. That last example ended with the guy taking swings at three complete strangers on Market St in SF, me being one of them.

2freaky4church1 said:

Crime is down not up. Turn the tv off.

So, if a guy ask for a date you will call the cops? I hate to break this to you but what he did wasn't illegal. Unless he says something violent or touches you you really cannot do much. Sure, the boss cannot be sexist but if some guy on the street yells "nice ass," that is free speech. You do have the right to tell him to go fuck himself, but you knew that.

Americans watch too much television. The chance of getting raped is rare. Be cautious, sure, but I am worried about man bashing. This is why young boys have no self esteem.

Again, I personally think you're way off base. There is a difference between somebody asking you for a date, or flirting with you, and somebody exhibiting behavior that makes you uncomfortable or creeped out. And you are factually incorrect about someone being able to do whatever they want unless they touch you or say something violent. There are many laws to protect people from being harrassed, stalked and molested. Lastly, if she was complaining about the guy saying, "nice ass" I'd be laughing. Telling her she should have turned around and told him to fuck off. That's obviously not what happened.

The chance of getting raped is rare? Really? How do you know that? And you're worried about man bashing? So you think you should be able to follow somebody you've never met from the mall to the bus stop saying creepy things to them? Dude.

blackbob said:

Cerebus said:

2freaky4church1 said:

I'm sorry but some of this homeless bashing is getting on my nerves. They tend to be treated like shit, so that's why they lash out.

Sorry, but it's a fact that many homeless have one kind of mental illness or another. There's no argument against that. Also, I live in the Bay Area where we basically have a giant sign flashing "Homeless Vacancy", inviting them to come live here. I've had more interaction than I can count on both hands with angry, agressive and even a violent homeless person. That last example ended with the guy taking swings at three complete strangers on Market St in SF, me being one of them.

i live in the bay area too, and you are so right about the homeless! i will never forget one scary experience i had on market street. and there was even a guy in a penis costume dancing around me...

When we lived in Columbia Mo. We lived near this part that had a decent trail I could run on... Well one day I walked over to it and started running and got maybe half way around when this guy wearing jeans and a hoodie with the hood on (it wasnt that cold) walking toward me... I was running so I figured we would pass by one another and that would be it... As we met in one spot I heard him say something, I had headphones on, and so I said hello and kept running thinking no biggie... Well I got a couple hundred feet away and all of a sudden he is right there by my sode talking to me! Scared the shit outta me! I took off my headphones to find out what he was saying... He was asking if I know how to get to some other park, which I later found out from friends at work that the park he was asking about was where drug deals go on! ANYWAY... I wasnt to freaked until he kept walking with me and talking to me with his hands in his pockets the whole time... So im trying to calm myself down, and I say to him, well its time for me to run again, so he started running with me with his hands STILL in his pockets!! Ok, NOW i was freaked out! I was about a mile away from the place I entered and exited the park to go home, I ran my ass off the whole time got to where I could leave and said good bye... All this tinme he was asking me personal questions, I didnt answer any that I felt could make him find me or anything but as I said BYE, he wanted to know if I was here everyday at the same time etc...

Ok, maybe he was just trying to ask me out but DAMN! I was VERY creeped out! After that my husband bought me pepper spray so I wasnt the only one that thought it was weird!

luv4u said:

2Naby7 said:

I should of yelled "SECURITY!" like Dave Chappelle when he played Rick James.

Joking around about a serious subject. You want our advice or not??

Look into taking some self defence courses.

Its easier to laugh about it now that I'm safe... I was tossing and turning last night thinking about it so I need this release.

Next time I'll just act crazy. People don't mess with crazy.

'

[Edited 10/22/10 9:10am]

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[Edited 9/19/10 21:26pm]