a while ago ive posted a story about some ex bf who threatend to beat me upc. im dating his ex gf , wich i didnt steel and she didnt cheat but he acts like an ass and is threatening me .

and a long time went by and nothing happend untill last night.

he went to a bar and my friend ran in to him infront of the bathroom, and he told him he was going to strike me with a beer bottle.

so he came to me while i was chatting up with another friend , and he told me i had 10 seconds to leave or he was going to attack me . so i saw this bouncer walk by and told him he was putting up a agressive attitude , so he talked and he was acting like he wassent intending anything.

so the bouncer left and that guy started all over . 10 seconds or ill beat your ass.

so i was fed up with him and i came in real close , like 2 inches face to face . and 10 seconds went by

and nothing happend and the bouncer came back to bounce hiss ass.

i was so angry , i cant stand the fact that acts this way. its not going to solve anything , i dont like that macho behavior i had to put up.

you're fucking his ex gf and he isn't. just remember that any time he acts the cunt. and don't hesitate in reminding him of that each time you see him. he probably won't want to stick around the next time to hear it

Next time tell him "It's cool. In ten seconds I was gonna leave to fuck my girlfriend anyway."

FauxReal said:

Next time tell him "It's cool. In ten seconds I was gonna leave to fuck my girlfriend anyway."

while he sounds like a jerk , frankly i think it's off limits to bone friends' x's

[Edited 9/19/10 15:19pm]

I don't think this guy is a friend of his. I could see how it was confusing with the way he worded it, but when he says "some ex b/f" I took it to mean the g/f's ex b/f, not his own ex b/f

JustErin said:

FauxReal said:

Next time tell him "It's cool. In ten seconds I was gonna leave to fuck my girlfriend anyway."

+1

You're a far better man than I. The second time dude started going on about ten seconds I would have just punched him square in the throat as hard as I could right around the six second mark. Wouldn't have even given him the chance to act first.

FauxReal said:

Next time tell him "It's cool. In ten seconds I was gonna leave to fuck my girlfriend anyway."

Ouch.

Seriously, though, I'd simply say to be careful. This guy sounds like he might be too much of a wuss to go toe to toe, but he's probably the type to keep prodding -- and embarrassing himself -- until he's forced to save face... with a weapon, with a group of equally punkish friends, etc. Just watch your back.

Also, while this might not be the tough guy way of handling things, consider reporting this to the police. Depending on where you live, this mere threat might be enough to warrant assault charges... and you've certainly got witnesses. Just because he's handling things like a teenager doesn't mean you must do the same.

[Edited 9/19/10 17:49pm]

FauxReal said:

I don't think this guy is a friend of his. I could see how it was confusing with the way he worded it, but when he says "some ex b/f" I took it to mean the g/f's ex b/f, not his own ex b/f

no , i recall the first thread he started on the subject

(just for the record i don't condone the guy threatening him , of course)

[Edited 9/19/10 17:16pm]

Dewrede said:

FauxReal said:

I don't think this guy is a friend of his. I could see how it was confusing with the way he worded it, but when he says "some ex b/f" I took it to mean the g/f's ex b/f, not his own ex b/f

no , i recall the first thread he started on the subject

(just for the record i don't condone the guy threatening him , of course)

[Edited 9/19/10 17:16pm]

Oh, I don't recall that thread. Ignore my comments then.

And I'm inclined to agree if that's the case. This dude is still wrong for trying to get all physical over it, but friends exes are off limits IMO. If you choose to do so, you have to realize you're inviting drama with your decision.

FauxReal said:

Dewrede said:

no , i recall the first thread he started on the subject

(just for the record i don't condone the guy threatening him , of course)

[Edited 9/19/10 17:16pm]

Oh, I don't recall that thread. Ignore my comments then.

And I'm inclined to agree if that's the case. This dude is still wrong for trying to get all physical over it, but friends exes are off limits IMO. If you choose to do so, you have to realize you're inviting drama with your decision.

See, I don't agree. If it's an ex, if they had broken up and there was no cheating between the new couple beforehand why should it matter? I don't see where it should bring physical threats even if it is something that bothers you. Just stop being their friend in that case.

Cerebus said:

FauxReal said:

Oh, I don't recall that thread. Ignore my comments then.

And I'm inclined to agree if that's the case. This dude is still wrong for trying to get all physical over it, but friends exes are off limits IMO. If you choose to do so, you have to realize you're inviting drama with your decision.

See, I don't agree. If it's an ex, if they had broken up and there was no cheating between the new couple beforehand why should it matter? I don't see where it should bring physical threats even if it is something that bothers you. Just stop being their friend in that case.

Exactly. I totally agree with you.

Cerebus said:

FauxReal said:

Oh, I don't recall that thread. Ignore my comments then.

And I'm inclined to agree if that's the case. This dude is still wrong for trying to get all physical over it, but friends exes are off limits IMO. If you choose to do so, you have to realize you're inviting drama with your decision.

See, I don't agree. If it's an ex, if they had broken up and there was no cheating between the new couple beforehand why should it matter? I don't see where it should bring physical threats even if it is something that bothers you. Just stop being their friend in that case.

I don't agree with the physical threats either. I just think if you knew a friend dated and cared deeply about this person at some point, as a courtesy to someone you consider a friend, you don't go and date that person.

^

especially if he still loved her

i think that would be betraying a friend frankly

however i have never been in such a situation myself

i wouldn't know how it would be if i truly would fall for one of my friend's exes

but i think if he was a true good friend i wouldn't jeopardize our friendship

[Edited 9/19/10 17:54pm]

FauxReal said:

Cerebus said:

See, I don't agree. If it's an ex, if they had broken up and there was no cheating between the new couple beforehand why should it matter? I don't see where it should bring physical threats even if it is something that bothers you. Just stop being their friend in that case.

I don't agree with the physical threats either. I just think if you knew a friend dated and cared deeply about this person at some point, as a courtesy to someone you consider a friend, you don't go and date that person.

I'd like to think that I don't have friends that would have an issue with it, but if they do....I don't want a friend like that.

Don't get me wrong, if a friend starting dating my ex, I wouldn't like it...but that's my issue, not theirs and I'll deal with it without making it their problem.

JustErin said:

FauxReal said:

I don't agree with the physical threats either. I just think if you knew a friend dated and cared deeply about this person at some point, as a courtesy to someone you consider a friend, you don't go and date that person.

I'd like to think that I don't have friends that would have an issue with it, but if they do....I don't want a friend like that.

Don't get me wrong, if a friend starting dating my ex, I wouldn't like it...but that's my issue, not theirs and I'll deal with it without making it their problem.

I think I agree most with this. I would never date a friend's ex, personally. But I was in a situation where a friend started dating a girl that wasn't exactly my ex, but was more than just a friend I guess you could say. It was a work in progress, but before anything could come of it, he sort of stepped in. I realize that meant I couldn't hold it against either of them. I didn't hate him for it, in fact, I helped him out when I could. In the end, he and I are still friends 11 years later. They aren't together.

Dewrede said:

while he sounds like a jerk , frankly i think it's off limits to bone friends' x's

[Edited 9/19/10 15:19pm]

he is not a friend , he is a guy i went to school with , took one class with and ive been to like his graduation party. i dont even know where the guy lives , thats how good friends we are.

but he sees it differently , he thought we were great friends. it just happend that i started to fell for her after she broke up with him.

we thought to keep it to our selves and take our time before we told anybody. after we did he was being agressive. he told her the minute she broke up with him that she wassent alowed to date others for like 2 months , and he told me he was mad because we didnt tell him right away. so he wassent going to be cool about it in any situation, we could have kept it secret for 10 years and he still would be mad. he is just mad cause he thinks we where friends but we where nothing like that to begin with. if every guy that i shoot a game of pool with and go to his party is my friend, then i have alot of friends.

[Edited 9/19/10 21:39pm]

motownlover said:

Dewrede said:

while he sounds like a jerk , frankly i think it's off limits to bone friends' x's

[Edited 9/19/10 15:19pm]

he is not a friend , he is a guy i went to school with , took one class with and ive been to like his graduation party. i dont even know where the guy lives , thats how good friends we are.

but he sees it differently , he thought we were great friends. it just happend that i started to fell for her after she broke up with him.

we thought to keep it to our selves and take our time before we told anybody. after we did he was being agressive. he told her the minute she broke up with him that she wassent alowed to date others for like 2 months , and he told me he was mad because we didnt tell him right away. he is just mad cause he thinks we where friends but we where nothing like that to begin with. if every guy that i shoot a game of pool with and go to his party is my friend, then i have alot of friends.

In that case, I go back to my original statement. Fuck him. Not literally, though. That could make things awkward.

FauxReal said:

motownlover said:

he is not a friend , he is a guy i went to school with , took one class with and ive been to like his graduation party. i dont even know where the guy lives , thats how good friends we are.

but he sees it differently , he thought we were great friends. it just happend that i started to fell for her after she broke up with him.

we thought to keep it to our selves and take our time before we told anybody. after we did he was being agressive. he told her the minute she broke up with him that she wassent alowed to date others for like 2 months , and he told me he was mad because we didnt tell him right away. he is just mad cause he thinks we where friends but we where nothing like that to begin with. if every guy that i shoot a game of pool with and go to his party is my friend, then i have alot of friends.

In that case, I go back to my original statement. Fuck him. Not literally, though. That could make things awkward.

like i can understand that he is mad cause he still has feelings but him acting like a jerk doenst solve shit. and i dont know why he thinks it solves anything . im on my guard though , cause you never know how crazy he can act. sadly the only time i could press charges if he would hit me and i wouldnt defend my selve. at least ive heard storys about fights and someone defended him selve and for doing that it was being ignored.

like a while back he liked another girl and they where like sex buddys , and after she didnt want to see him anymore he herassed her too and her new bf.

motownlover said:

FauxReal said:

In that case, I go back to my original statement. Fuck him. Not literally, though. That could make things awkward.

like i can understand that he is mad cause he still has feelings but him acting like a jerk doenst solve shit. and i dont know why he thinks it solves anything . im on my guard though , cause you never know how crazy he can act. sadly the only time i could press charges if he would hit me and i wouldnt defend my selve. at least ive heard storys about fights and someone defended him selve and for doing that it was being ignored.

like a while back he liked another girl and they where like sex buddys , and after she didnt want to see him anymore he herassed her too and her new bf.

Sounds like he has some serious issues. It's best to just avoid him if possible, and maybe leave once he shows the slightest sign of hostility if you're ever in the same place. A night out at any place is not worth the police drama or possibly worse. Just my two cents.

FauxReal said:

motownlover said:

like i can understand that he is mad cause he still has feelings but him acting like a jerk doenst solve shit. and i dont know why he thinks it solves anything . im on my guard though , cause you never know how crazy he can act. sadly the only time i could press charges if he would hit me and i wouldnt defend my selve. at least ive heard storys about fights and someone defended him selve and for doing that it was being ignored.

like a while back he liked another girl and they where like sex buddys , and after she didnt want to see him anymore he herassed her too and her new bf.

Sounds like he has some serious issues. It's best to just avoid him if possible, and maybe leave once he shows the slightest sign of hostility if you're ever in the same place. A night out at any place is not worth the police drama or possibly worse. Just my two cents.

i believe he has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder , doenst take his meds and drinks loads of beer. and acording to my gf he doenst have parental supervision , both his mom and father dont live at home. his mom has a new bf and thats where he lives and for some reason she doenst live there. perhaps she has mental issues.

i didnt expect him to be there , and i dont go out to look for someone. a week ago i had a party at a mutual friend and i told my friend how stupid it was to invite us hoth. he did anyway and i went . he didnt show up fortunatly.

i agree with the avoiding part but im not alowing him to controle my life.

i hated the fact that i had to bluff him out by standing alot closer . i havent fought in a very long time and im proud of it . but this guy just raises my blood pressure

at the moment i felt if i leave right away i would empower him , you know ?

the thing i fear the most is that he has an equally stupid agressive brother and they might team up if they see me alone.

thanx for your share of thoughts

motownlover said:

FauxReal said:

Sounds like he has some serious issues. It's best to just avoid him if possible, and maybe leave once he shows the slightest sign of hostility if you're ever in the same place. A night out at any place is not worth the police drama or possibly worse. Just my two cents.

i believe he has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder , doenst take his meds and drinks loads of beer. and acording to my gf he doenst have parental supervision , both his mom and father dont live at home. his mom has a new bf and thats where he lives and for some reason she doenst live there. perhaps she has mental issues.

i didnt expect him to be there , and i dont go out to look for someone. a week ago i had a party at a mutual friend and i told my friend how stupid it was to invite us hoth. he did anyway and i went . he didnt show up fortunatly.

i agree with the avoiding part but im not alowing him to controle my life.

i hated the fact that i had to bluff him out by standing alot closer . i havent fought in a very long time and im proud of it . but this guy just raises my blood pressure

at the moment i felt if i leave right away i would empower him , you know ?

the thing i fear the most is that he has an equally stupid agressive brother and they might team up if they see me alone.

thanx for your share of thoughts

No problem.

I'm not suggesting you completely alter your life or surrender control of it. Just that me personally, I would avoid social scenarios where I absolutely knew he would be there. There is fun to be had elsewhere without any altercations.

It's not giving him control anymore than it would be by having to do something you'd rather not do (fight, argue, etc.) because you showed up at the same place.

Again, this is just personally what I would do. It may not be the right choice for you.

motownlover said:

Dewrede said:

while he sounds like a jerk , frankly i think it's off limits to bone friends' x's

[Edited 9/19/10 15:19pm]

he is not a friend , he is a guy i went to school with , took one class with and ive been to like his graduation party. i dont even know where the guy lives , thats how good friends we are.

but he sees it differently , he thought we were great friends. it just happend that i started to fell for her after she broke up with him.

we thought to keep it to our selves and take our time before we told anybody. after we did he was being agressive. he told her the minute she broke up with him that she wassent alowed to date others for like 2 months , and he told me he was mad because we didnt tell him right away. so he wassent going to be cool about it in any situation, we could have kept it secret for 10 years and he still would be mad. he is just mad cause he thinks we where friends but we where nothing like that to begin with. if every guy that i shoot a game of pool with and go to his party is my friend, then i have alot of friends.

[Edited 9/19/10 21:39pm]

ah yeah now i remember

sorry

Dewrede said:

motownlover said:

he is not a friend , he is a guy i went to school with , took one class with and ive been to like his graduation party. i dont even know where the guy lives , thats how good friends we are.

but he sees it differently , he thought we were great friends. it just happend that i started to fell for her after she broke up with him.

we thought to keep it to our selves and take our time before we told anybody. after we did he was being agressive. he told her the minute she broke up with him that she wassent alowed to date others for like 2 months , and he told me he was mad because we didnt tell him right away. so he wassent going to be cool about it in any situation, we could have kept it secret for 10 years and he still would be mad. he is just mad cause he thinks we where friends but we where nothing like that to begin with. if every guy that i shoot a game of pool with and go to his party is my friend, then i have alot of friends.

[Edited 9/19/10 21:39pm]

ah yeah now i remember

sorry

thats ok , but i agree with you. you dont go with friends ex girlfiends.

he has acted this way with other people too , harassing them untill he found a gf .

to faux , i know i could ran in to him over there but i didnt expect him too . he had a job during the last 6 months but i guess he is fired .

we have a mutual friend , and he invited us both to his birthday party . and i told my friend that he would act like a jerk and i was nt up for that. but i went anyway after encouragement of my gf. we went together and he wassent there. if he where he would have harassed me for sure, and i dont think my friend is man enough to tell him to leave. so at first i wanted to avoid the situation but i went anyway. last weekend i didnt expect him to be there but he was and started to fuss

[Edited 9/20/10 4:45am]