BklynBabe said:

truly, if you don't want your kids to have sex.....tell them to go have it!

my mum wanted to take me to the doc to be put on the pill I was mortified, at that stage I couldn't see myself EVER having sex I was 18 already and had never been kissded

Tons of great answers in here already, and I'm probably really not the one to offer advice in this regard (don't have kids, don't want 'em ). Beyond explaing ALL the consequences, which I think is a great suggestion, if you really think she's going to do it anyway make sure she has access to condoms and knows that she needs to use them EVERY SINGLE TIME! No matter WHAT the guy says about it. No glove, no love. They're not the be all end all solution to every problem in this regard. And yes, before somebody says it, sometimes they break. But getting her in the protection frame of mind can only be a good thing and it certainly lessens the possibility of something going "wrong".

ZombieKitten said:

BklynBabe said:

truly, if you don't want your kids to have sex.....tell them to go have it!

my mum wanted to take me to the doc to be put on the pill I was mortified, at that stage I couldn't see myself EVER having sex I was 18 already and had never been kissded

okay, Drew....

BklynBabe said:

ZombieKitten said:

my mum wanted to take me to the doc to be put on the pill I was mortified, at that stage I couldn't see myself EVER having sex I was 18 already and had never been kissded

okay, Drew....

anyway, here is me in my school uniform

*note Princess Di hair

^^^^

for some reason I overlooked the hair.....

According to South Park it is 17

One question...

have you spoken to your daughter about the truths of sexual intercourse?

What helped me with my son also (beyond explaining conscequences) was the technical aspect of sex.

Girls at age 13 will most likely not be used to clitoral stimulation, so most likely, sex will feel uncomfortable unles she's masturbating a lot... (at least once a day for the past year)

never mind with a boy.

Two bodies jioned together is very different from self-stimulation, so its best she master her own anatomy before she tries to tangle with a boy simply because the sex will be "blah".

They most likely will be sneaking around, they will not have privacy and the experience will be rushed due to their fear of getting caught. So its best not to bother until she can get her fuck on undisturbed and without her mind being clouded with guilt, fear or being pressured.

A girl can be "loved" without having to suck a boys dick or risk pregnancy, if he needs pussy, then tell her to hand him some lotion and tissues. Because there is a very minute chance that that young teen can make her climax properly, heck at that age he'll be lucky if he can get more than 10 strokes in.

I am graphic, but this is how sex should be approached to her, so that it isn't mystified as some big fabulous experience. She needs to stop listening to her friends glorifying sex.

I remember getting dick the very first time... it felt just like taking a hard uncomfortable shit in reverse that lasted all of two minutes.

We spent 15 minutes "trying to find the hole" in pitch darkness. That's the truth, and I should have waited much longer.

I became a mother at 19. Enough said.

And the true answer to your oringinal question...

The right age to start having sex is when you are ready to risk pregnancy.

Sex is for procreation. Yes, we enjoy sex, but intimacy can be achieved in other ways also. Let her explore other options in intimacy first making sex a last resort.

Good luck with the communication, I hope you get through to her so she can do the same for her friends (male and female).

just out of curiosity, is anybody here still with the person they 1st did it with?

paintedlady said:

And the true answer to your oringinal question...

The right age to start having sex is when you are ready to risk pregnancy.

Sex is for procreation. Yes, we enjoy sex, but intimacy can be achieved in other ways also. Let her explore other options in intimacy first making sex a last resort.

Good luck with the communication, I hope you get through to her so she can do the same for her friends (male and female).

I was largely with you until this part. IMO about 3/4 of the people having babies shouldn't be.... maybe more. Sex USED to be about procreation. The problem now is that too many people have it without thinking about the fact that procreation is an inconvenient side affect.

Cerebus said:

paintedlady said:

And the true answer to your oringinal question...

The right age to start having sex is when you are ready to risk pregnancy.

Sex is for procreation. Yes, we enjoy sex, but intimacy can be achieved in other ways also. Let her explore other options in intimacy first making sex a last resort.

Good luck with the communication, I hope you get through to her so she can do the same for her friends (male and female).

I was largely with you until this part. IMO about 3/4 of the people having babies shouldn't be.... maybe more. Sex USED to be about procreation. The problem now is that too many people have it without thinking about the fact that procreation is an inconvenient side affect.

I think that is exactly the problem paintedlady is targeting with her advice.

The point is, penetrative hetero sex does result in pregnancy - that's its biological function. When we ignore that recklessly, we get ourselves (and the resulting kids who never asked to be born to idiots) into serious, life-changing situations.

wasted said:

just out of curiosity, is anybody here still with the person they 1st did it with?

wasted said:

thats what my 13yo daughter asked me 2day!!!!!

shit, what do i do?

i told her "not yet, when your older and u meet some1 special"

but then she says "but dad, some kids in my class r doing it"

then she asks "dad, how old were u when u 1st did it (i was 13!!!!!)

we have an open relationship and i never lie 2 her, so what do i say?

shit, what do i do?

Tell her the right time is when she's 40 and already been married for about 15 or 20 years. As for you yourself doing it when you were 13, tell her "Do as I say, not as I do".

.

.

.

[Edited 9/14/10 6:55am]

vainandy said:

wasted said:

thats what my 13yo daughter asked me 2day!!!!!

shit, what do i do?

i told her "not yet, when your older and u meet some1 special"

but then she says "but dad, some kids in my class r doing it"

then she asks "dad, how old were u when u 1st did it (i was 13!!!!!)

we have an open relationship and i never lie 2 her, so what do i say?

shit, what do i do?

Tell her the right time is when she's 40 and already been married for about 15 or 20 years. As for you yourself doing it when you were 13, tell her "Do as a say, not as I do".

My dad always said that shit!! I HATED it!

PunkMistress said:

Cerebus said:

I was largely with you until this part. IMO about 3/4 of the people having babies shouldn't be.... maybe more. Sex USED to be about procreation. The problem now is that too many people have it without thinking about the fact that procreation is an inconvenient side affect.

I think that is exactly the problem paintedlady is targeting with her advice.

The point is, penetrative hetero sex does result in pregnancy - that's its biological function. When we ignore that recklessly, we get ourselves (and the resulting kids who never asked to be born to idiots) into serious, life-changing situations.

Exactly (both Cerebus and Punkmistress) , sex for grown folks is about pleasure and getting closer to your partner... but teen pregnancy is at epidemic proportions and teen pregnancy is shrugged off too easily.

Yes, STI transmission is an issue also, but I'm pretty sure dad doesn't want to be bothered with dragging his teen daughter to the abortion clinic either. Baby girl has no business being close to being with a boy at her age. I am glad she approached her dad, its a good beginning.

wasted said:

just out of curiosity, is anybody here still with the person they 1st did it with?

ZombieKitten said:

BklynBabe said:

truly, if you don't want your kids to have sex.....tell them to go have it!

my mum wanted to take me to the doc to be put on the pill I was mortified, at that stage I couldn't see myself EVER having sex I was 18 already and had never been kissded

Same here.

FauxReal said:

ZombieKitten said:

my mum wanted to take me to the doc to be put on the pill I was mortified, at that stage I couldn't see myself EVER having sex I was 18 already and had never been kissded

Same here.

and of course I didn't mean to type kissded

ZombieKitten said:

FauxReal said:

Same here.

and of course I didn't mean to type kissded

My initial reply was

"Same here, but I didn't get all ebonical about it."

FauxReal said:

ZombieKitten said:

and of course I didn't mean to type kissded

My initial reply was

"Same here, but I didn't get all ebonical about it."

noooooo people really say it like that?

ZombieKitten said:

FauxReal said:

My initial reply was

"Same here, but I didn't get all ebonical about it."

noooooo people really say it like that?

Well, sometimes folks will add an extra "ed" suffix to a past tense verb. It's generally frowned upon.

E.g. "He drowneded in the lake." "Some fool crasheded his car into the stoplight."

FauxReal said:

ZombieKitten said:

noooooo people really say it like that?

Well, sometimes folks will add an extra "ed" suffix to a past tense verb. It's generally frowned upon.

E.g. "He drowneded in the lake." "Some fool crasheded his car into the stoplight."

yeah, I'm frowning just reading about it!!!!

and earlier when Erin said she got axed, I was going to be a smartarse and say "don't you mean 'asked"?" but that would have been MEAN.

ZombieKitten said:

FauxReal said:

Well, sometimes folks will add an extra "ed" suffix to a past tense verb. It's generally frowned upon.

E.g. "He drowneded in the lake." "Some fool crasheded his car into the stoplight."

yeah, I'm frowning just reading about it!!!!

and earlier when Erin said she got axed, I was going to be a smartarse and say "don't you mean 'asked"?" but that would have been MEAN.

Actually, I think it would've been hilarious.

I think you need to talk to your daughter and tell her that there's no perfect age to have sex until she's knows why she wants to sex. She's probably feeling a lot of peer pressure right now, and you would know better than me whether or not she has reached puberty. If she has reached that period in her life, then you're in a better position to have that discussion. If not, then I would deal with her more gently about the whole process of growing up and discovering one's adulthood.

(it's probably already been said) When you're able to take care of a baby is the right age. That varies from person to person but most 13 year olds don't fit the bill these days.

whodknee said:

(it's probably already been said) When you're able to take care of a baby is the right age. That varies from person to person but most 13 year olds don't fit the bill these days.

good answer, thanks

wasted said:

whodknee said:

(it's probably already been said) When you're able to take care of a baby is the right age. That varies from person to person but most 13 year olds don't fit the bill these days.

good answer, thanks

No problem.

There isn't one, fuck that, fuck society

Call me old fashioned but I don't want to do it until marriage, although I do admit to having sexual feelings and talking suggestively a little. And masturbation is always an option too.

JoeTyler said:

17

20

22

Why those specific ages?

When they're old enough to pay a mortgage and drive!

Seriously....kids need to mentally grow up before they start tryna play grown up with their physical parts.