Dan the "straight" flirty co-worker went into overdrive today...

I'd had a couple of days away from the office, and as soon as I walked in, he bounded over to my desk.

He told me that over the past couple of days, most of the team had been teasing him, saying that he's obviously gay and obsessed with me. I told him not to listen to them, and added, "I don't think you're gay"... I mean, I do think he's a little "confused" but he was doing his lost puppy face and I didn't want to break the mood.

I went on a cigarette break and one of the girls was regaling me with a discussion they'd had yesterday afternoon. Apparently he'd stated that if he was hypothetically going to sleep with a man, he'd have to be "clean shaven", along with a list of other preferences. He's definitely getting less careful about what he says and to whom. I just can't work-out why.

In the afternoon, I received a random email from him, which read:
"Don't take this the wrong way. But do U think I could sell my used underwear to make money?"

I nearly spat my coffee out.

We then later had a conversation, and I said that he might find himself in lumber (trouble) over something work-related. He replied, "You think I should get into lumber? Like, be a lumberjack? Handle wood for a living? I'm not averse to thought of handling wood. Ha! Ha!"

It's all really odd. I'm actually beginning to worry about him.

Thanks for the update! But refresh my memory: Weren't you going to confess your feelings to him at one point? Did any fun times happen in between now and your last post on this?

Yeah, I told him how I felt. Over a month ago. He seemed bemused more than anything else, really.

It's just all too weird now.

If he was saying this kind of stuff just to me, I could assume it was some kind of passive/aggressive retaliation to drive me insane, as "punishment" for my crush on him.

But he's saying stranger and stranger things to the rest of the office now. If he's just joking around with me, it's highly elaborate, risky and possibly damaging to himself, because the mother of his child works in the same building, in an office upstairs. People are laughing at him and gossiping about him.

God he's good-looking. Imagine if Matthew Fox & Paul Rudd mated and had a child, and it was a 33 year-old man. I've no idea what he wants from me. It's bonkers.

He took me to a bar, the night before my birthday, about three weeks ago. He just phoned out-of-the-blue and told me he was already halfway to my place. It was after nine p.m. The conversation was odd that night too.

you do realize that this type of conversation he's having with you is inappropriate in the work place, right? I bring that up only because I wouldn't want it to bite you in the back.

GHP - Get Him Pumped

This all sounds incredibly awkward!

BlackAdder7 said:

you do realize that this type of conversation he's having with you is inappropriate in the work place, right? I bring that up only because I wouldn't want it to bite you in the back.

I've kept all his non-work-related emails.

I initially did this, so on the days he wasn't in the office I could re-read them (yes, I know, I'm retarded), but later realised that they'd act as a safety net, if I ever got into trouble over any of this. They'd be proof that the flirting wasn't all one-way traffic.

Mercenary, I know; but I find it hard to trust anyone - even him.

sermwanderer said:

GHP - Get Him Pumped

Is this good or bad?

He's just phoned and hung-up. I'm phoning him back right now.

be careful!

He was smoking pot in his backyard.

I guess he didn't want me on the phone while he was in the house with his fiancee.

I'd texed him earlier, asking if he was okay, because he really was acting more strangely than usual today. That's why he'd phoned me, to reply to my text; I suppose he could have just texed me back though.

He'd hung-up to save credit on his pre-pay mobile, knowing that I'd call him back. The cheap fucker!!!

He said that he was fine and had just been "in a giddy mood" today... I said that I'd felt bad for laughing along, because he might have been having a manic episode or something. He said, "Don't be silly. I just get like that sometimes."

We then discussed a colleague whom plays in a folk group... and has recently stopped dying his hair. Dan jokingly blurted out, "He's a fiddler! He fiddles for a living! Bwah-ha-ha!"

I guess he was stoned.

He then asked if I was in the office tomorrow, I replied that I was, and we said our goodbyes.

you can end this all by asking him not to contact you outside of work anymore, and only if it's work related while at work, in order to maintain your own work ethic principles you know...

GirlBrother said:

He's just phoned and hung-up. I'm phoning him back right now.

You can block him or you can get copies of your phone records to show how many times he's been calling. Do NOT call or respond as he will get his payoff and do it more.

Be careful.

Guy sounds like he likes attention, and doesn't care what boundaries he has to cross to get it.

Whatever his deal, it doesn't sound like he genuinely cares.

I think you should set some boundaries with him and quick.

His behavior is totally inappropriate.

He's not gay. He's queer.

Strange queer, not pink team queer.

Beware that one.

Speaking from experience here - work and sex / relationships always lead to trouble

It's not worth it, honestly not worth it

so what ever happens just say No Thanks

I can't help myself. No-one else really pays me any attention. Well, not to that degree.

He still owes me £190.00 though. I loaned him £200.00 in May, and he said he'd pay me back at £25.00 a month, on each consecutive pay-day. He should have repaid me £75.00 by now, but he's only given me £10.00 back over the last three months.

I just checked, and £190.00 is $293.05. I could really do with the money back. I'm not exactly rich myself.

He upset me last week too. I tried to invite myself around to some poker night at his house. He said that I couldn't come, because his friends might make me feel uncomfortable, because I'm gay and they're not. I ranted about it cryptically on Facebook, and probably made myself look a bit insane in the process.

He phoned me at 00:30 in the morning, one night last week, without any prompting from me. I didn't phone him back on that occasion - the call had woken me up and I was too groggy and grumpy to speak. When I saw him at work, later that day, I asked him why he'd phoned and he claimed to have no recollection.

GirlBrother said:

I can't help myself. No-one else really pays me any attention. Well, not to that degree.

He still owes me £190.00 though. I loaned him £200.00 in May, and he said he'd pay me back at £25.00 a month, on each consecutive pay-day. He should have repaid me £75.00 by now, but he's only given me £10.00 back over the last three months.

I just checked, and £190.00 is $293.05. I could really do with the money back. I'm not exactly rich myself.

He upset me last week too. I tried to invite myself around to some poker night at his house. He said that I couldn't come, because his friends might make me feel uncomfortable, because I'm gay and they're not. I ranted about it cryptically on Facebook, and probably made myself look a bit insane in the process.

He phoned me at 00:30 in the morning, one night last week, without any prompting from me. I didn't phone him back on that occasion - the call had woken me up and I was too groggy and grumpy to speak. When I saw him at work, later that day, I asked him why he'd phoned and he claimed to have no recollection.

he is using u, he sounds like a creep....get rid of him, tell him where to go, stand your ground

[Edited 9/2/10 5:56am]

GirlBrother said:

He was smoking pot in his backyard.

I guess he didn't want me on the phone while he was in the house with his fiancee.

I'd texed him earlier, asking if he was okay, because he really was acting more strangely than usual today. That's why he'd phoned me, to reply to my text; I suppose he could have just texed me back though.

He'd hung-up to save credit on his pre-pay mobile, knowing that I'd call him back. The cheap fucker!!!

He said that he was fine and had just been "in a giddy mood" today... I said that I'd felt bad for laughing along, because he might have been having a manic episode or something. He said, "Don't be silly. I just get like that sometimes."

We then discussed a colleague whom plays in a folk group... and has recently stopped dying his hair. Dan jokingly blurted out, "He's a fiddler! He fiddles for a living! Bwah-ha-ha!"

I guess he was stoned.

He then asked if I was in the office tomorrow, I replied that I was, and we said our goodbyes.

Drop callers are the absolute worse; like their credit is more important than yours; I don't call these fools back.

Re your situation; ask dude straight out what's occuring; cause he's messing about and cute only goes so far in my estimation. If he is on it; and you are feeling him; get you some - if not cut off anything that is not work related while at work; you are asking for trouble.

Also didn't you say this dude was 33, cause from the tone of some of the conversations you have detailed he sounds about 15! Very immature.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

sermwanderer said:

GHP - Get Him Pumped

Is this good or bad?

good

He owes you money?

Get it back!

ufoclub said:

He owes you money?

Get it back!

Isn't this guy like a doctor or something? Or am I confusing this with some other work-crush story?

After reading this thread, I feel like I need a shower.

Yo first mistake was tellin him how u felt about him in the first place. Now u done opened up a Pandora's Box on yo ass and let out all kinds of

Get ya money back, then cut his ass off. Deal with him only on a professional level at work.

Efan said:

ufoclub said:

He owes you money?

Get it back!

Isn't this guy like a doctor or something? Or am I confusing this with some other work-crush story?

That was another org soap opera

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Efan said:

Isn't this guy like a doctor or something? Or am I confusing this with some other work-crush story?

That was another org soap opera

Yeah...whatever happened with that one???

PurpleJedi said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

That was another org soap opera

Yeah...whatever happened with that one???

People need to keep us updated with their workplace sex scandals. It's just common courtesy.

He bought me four coffees today. He's still in uber-flirty mode.

At lunchtime, he walked by my desk swinging a little book-sized canvas bag. He asked, "Don't you think this bag is a bit camp?" I sort of mumbled "No", and then my friend Amy remarked to him, "It's not the bag that's camp, Dan."

I don't think he heard her. He just carried on walking, swinging his little man-bag.

When he finished work at four, he walked straight past my desk, then turned on his heels and walked back over to me, chatting.

My friend Paul, sat opposite me, was sort of rolling his eyes, and my boss was staring daggers at us all... The conversation sort of went like this...

Dan: I almost forgot to say "goodbye" to you then.

Me: It's alright. Have a good evening. Bye!

Dan: Are you in tomorrow?

Me: Yeah?

Dan: Right. I'm on a late shift, so I'll see you in the afternoon.

Me: Yeah, I'll see you then...

Dan: What?

Me: What?

Dan: I thought you were going to say something.

Me: Um... No. I thought you were going to say something. Is there something on your mind?

Dan: No.

Me: Right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then.

Dan: Right.

Me: Okay.

Dan: What???

Me: Dan? Seriously! What???

Dan: Nothing.

Me: ...

Dan: I'm going to go feed the ducks. In the park.

Me: Yeah, you should get outside while it's still sunny .

Dan: Yeah, I should.

Paul: Wow! Just reading on the net that they've found another solar system that's nearly identical to ours. It could be a parallel universe!!!

Dan: Really? That's awesome.

Me: I'm not really interested in science.

Dan: Someone should invent a machine, like in that movie, Weird Science.

Paul: Fuck, yeah! Kelly Le Brock!!!

Dan: Yeah, she could do the housework for you, once you've shagged her and gone to work in the morning.

Me: Great. I don't think I'd want a robotic Kelly Le Brock.

Dan: Hmmm... No, I don't think I would either. I don't think Jenny would be happy!

Paul: Yeah, but if she's a robot, she couldn't get jealous.

Dan: I'd have to make my "Kelly" slightly different. Shave her hair off so she looked like a man... I'd call her Keith.

Me: What?

Dan: You could borrow Keith.

Me: Right...

Dan: What?

Me: What???

It went on like this for thirty minutes.

Earlier in the day he'd told me that he doesn't trim his pubes because his fiancee doesn't "go down there"... I just sort of stared at him and after a few seconds he said, "Well that's the mouth she kisses our son with." I couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

Ok, you know you better be careful that he isn't deducting those 4 coffees from the amount he owes you!