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Thank for for purchasing Redneck Viagra.

Instructions:

1. Drop pants around ankles
2. Remove ½” duct tape
3. With free hand, remove one toothpick
4. Place toothpick on edge of tape
5. Locate penis (this may take some time)
6. Apply tape/toothpick to penis; do not wrap completely around
7. Place 2nd toothpick on other side of penis, creating a splint
8. Wrap tape/toothpics completely around penis (there may be more tape than you need)
9. Fold excess tape over end of penis to avoid injury of partner (toothpicks may be sharp)
10. Congratulations! You now have an erection.

Instructions for sex:
1. Find stump.
2. Select barnyard animal (your preference may vary; pigs are known to squeal)
3. Bring date of choice to stump
4. Position self behind date
5. Enjoy

Note: You should probably pull your pants up before finding your date; you will be able to move faster and fall down less.


Customer Testimonials:

From (Name withheld): After I saw my brother Dale and that sheep going at it for near 3 days, I knew I had to get me some of that there stuff! It has been the best thing I could have asked fer. My wife thinks I go hunting all the time, but the truth is, I go find my sweet little sheep; she is the purtyest thing—she has 2 huge horns and we just rock back and forth all day!!! There are lots of men in (location withheld) (my home town) who love this stuff!

Actually, u can do this with only one toothpick, but it's a little more painfull...

SpcMs said:

yeeooowch!

SpcMs said:

But with only one toothpick, is it really a splint?

teller said:

more of a splinter

MrBliss said:

OMG! that is almost not funny it sounds so painful, but it is still very funny

bump!