myfavorite said:

all they need sometimes is one good look.

that's MY goal. I just want to be able to give them the "glare" and they'll shape up. But....I'm not there yet.

FauxReal said:

uPtoWnNY said:

Actually, Dad handled most of the discipline. Whenever I acted the fool, Mom would just say, "You want your father to straighten you out?" I got my ass in line real quick.

The worst ass whoopin' I ever witnessed came when my then bad-ass older brother made a remark in anger toward my mom saying "I wish someone would shoot you".

I think parts of his ass are still trapped in the 80's, trying to catch up, after that.

And in hindsight I'm glad it happened given what he said. I usually felt my dad went overboard, still think so as an adult, but that day, as much as I despise him, he gets a pass.

Got dayum, your brother must have been REALLY pissed off to say that shit. I don't remember ever being that angry with my mother. If I uttered "I wish someone would shoot you", I'd be in traction.

Genesia said:

tinaz said:

My kids were never like that! EVER! still arent and they are grown adults out on their own now... We never would allowed disrespectful talk like that in our home... they couldnt even say shut up, I dont like how it sounds, I still dont say it to people, its just rude and mean... It all starts from day one... you cant expect a child to behave if they have been on a free for all for years, then decide you are tired of the nastiness and expect them to change.. this is why we have rules and stick to them!!

My mom didn't allow "shut up," either.

Sadly, "be quiet" just doesn't have the same ring.

We don't allow shut up in our home either ~ never have and the Grands are expected to follow said rule in our home as well

myfavorite said:

all they need sometimes is one good look.

I have mastered the look... my kids get like I sometimes feel a bit guilty that they are so fearful of me, but then I quickly get over it when I think of the long term effects it has for them.

You know (as I tried to point out earlier) stress can be messing your child up. Especially if she sees that you are not at your best emotionally and this could be with her dad as well. If you and her dad aren't on the same page or consistent with discipline or her bahavior she'll act out on you.

Can you make her feel quilty about her behavior? Emotional manipulation is also one of the better tricks a parent has into guiding a child in the proper direction... also a good old fashioned asswhooping.... but I would never condone that at this stage of the game.

Mach said:

Genesia said:

My mom didn't allow "shut up," either.

Sadly, "be quiet" just doesn't have the same ring.

We don't allow shut up in our home either ~ never have and the Grands are expected to follow said rule in our home as well

I grew up in one of the most dysfunctional homes ever... I never let that discourage me from being a parent. I just decided to educate myself and not say and do the things my mother did. One of them was to NEVER allow shut up to be used in my home, and never allow siblings to argue or fight or call each other names.I am strict and unyeilding about that. My home is peaceful because of it.

So far, so good.

Everything Genesia said

paintedlady said:

Mach said:

We don't allow shut up in our home either ~ never have and the Grands are expected to follow said rule in our home as well

I grew up in one of the most dysfunctional homes ever... I never let that discourage me from being a parent. I just decided to educate myself and not say and do the things my mother did. One of them was to NEVER allow shut up to be used in my home, and never allow siblings to argue or fight or call each other names.I am strict and unyeilding about that. My home is peaceful because of it.

So far, so good.

I honestly didn't think any home allowed "shut up".

[img:$uid]http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii122/StillGotItNow/when-i-grow-up.jpg[/img:$uid]

I actually found out the source of her frustration these past couple of days....

One of her friends, who all the kids at school say is a wild bull ( facebook is a godsend if the kids like you and make a parent a friend... ) was trying to use her as bait to attract the cuter boys at some parties......

i told her i dont give a shyt what that other lil girls drives, thats her car, but its your body lil girl and i think momma knows a lil more about it than some fass tail ass gal. I probably wouldnt have a problem if i had a lil more money to contribute to their well-being but damn that. when i was growing up, my friends never did me like that...my best friend was slender and tall and i was chubby, we got along great. my fam didnt come from money, but somehow my friends knew that and didnt penalize me for it...if they could they could, if they couldnt i stayed my lil ass home or was lucky if dadd happened to giv eme a couple bucks that week, or whatever...ya know???

I will give the lil friend credit, maybe she didnt realize what a tramp she was lookin like...but i know other mothers will agree with me on those mommy visuals.....they are pretty accurate.

So, you are saying that the source of your daughter's frustration is that she is getting pimped by some random chick with a fancy car, but you won't let her. She waana be 'cool', 'sexy' and all that typical teenage stuff, but then you come by and say hell no. So she says, shut up mom, you are fat, what do you know.

JustErin said:

paintedlady said:

I grew up in one of the most dysfunctional homes ever... I never let that discourage me from being a parent. I just decided to educate myself and not say and do the things my mother did. One of them was to NEVER allow shut up to be used in my home, and never allow siblings to argue or fight or call each other names.I am strict and unyeilding about that. My home is peaceful because of it.

So far, so good.

I honestly didn't think any home allowed "shut up".

My mom's first language was Spanish, so "callate!" was the word used more often. English words like "shut up" and "fuck" didn't have the same meanings to us because we were in a bilingual home. In Spanish words like "shut up" and "fuck" don't have the same shock value.

So those words were not taboo in our home growing up. Crazy.