Neversin said:

PurpleJedi said:

So I have a friend...I would consider him a "good" friend, not my "best" friend or even an "Excellent: friend, but I think we're good friends. He's married, and a new dad.

Anyway, there's this really hot babe that we work with. Totally out of my league (I'm a married spud...I'm a married spud...) but apparently not HIS. Besides the usual man-talk about her hotness, for a few months now he's been telling me how "one day" he was going to give in to the temptation. I laughed it off, never thinking that he'd be capable of cheating or that SHE would be that crass. But then they started going to lunch together. Alot.

Then a rumor got to me that they'd done it. I take office rumors for what they are...RUMORS. But NOW, I've been told that they were seen in public making out.

I am at a loss of what to do.

As a good friend, am I supposed to try to stop him from ruining his life? Do I shut my mouth and wait for him to say something before I offer my opinion & advice? Is it even any of my business?

Tell his wife and watch the show unfold...

Or just let him be and cut him off from your life... You do not need weak people like that around you and eventually they'll drag you down in their stupidity without you even knowing it...

People like that are not needed and are quite useless in the human progression...

...uhm...this comment goes completely against my nature...but the more I dwell on it the more I think you may be right.

um, if you hang out with him sometimes, how do you know you will not be the alibi for some of his behavior? And if you already know he is cheating, and he uses you as an excuse, with or without your consent, how will you feel then?

I would at least not hang out with him on a casual basis, or tell him you know, but not to drag his friends into this in any way.

and for fucks' sakes can we please get an update on this matter before the end of Monday's work day?

PurpleJedi said:

So I have a friend...I would consider him a "good" friend, not my "best" friend or even an "Excellent: friend, but I think we're good friends. He's married, and a new dad.

Anyway, there's this really hot babe that we work with. Totally out of my league (I'm a married spud...I'm a married spud...) but apparently not HIS. Besides the usual man-talk about her hotness, for a few months now he's been telling me how "one day" he was going to give in to the temptation. I laughed it off, never thinking that he'd be capable of cheating or that SHE would be that crass. But then they started going to lunch together. Alot.

Then a rumor got to me that they'd done it. I take office rumors for what they are...RUMORS. But NOW, I've been told that they were seen in public making out.

I am at a loss of what to do.

As a good friend, am I supposed to try to stop him from ruining his life? Do I shut my mouth and wait for him to say something before I offer my opinion & advice? Is it even any of my business?

i'm not sure

I don't understand why you're so worried about him. Like most posters here have said, the man is capable of making his own decisions AND mistakes. It's not up to you to guide him in his personal affairs. Unless he asks your opinion, stay the hell out of it. If your office has a policy about fraternization, let that be your guide. He knows the rules and if he gets caught and fired, it's on him. If the new girl on the block, in this instance the new "hot" employee, knows this guy is married and a new father, then she's just exposed her ass as a skank and perhaps her days are numbered, too. If you're just an observer to this train wreck, then hey, sit back and watch the show.

Drama, drama, drama. Just don't say, tell or ask anything. Nonya!

Cinnie said:

and for fucks' sakes can we please get an update on this matter before the end of Monday's work day?

Dude's on vacation with wife.

I'm preparing myself for "the talk" on Wednesday if I see him.

Thanks to so many people giving good advice, I have decided that I want to clear the air. Tell him what I know/suspect/heard about. Tell him how I feel about it & offer advice as a friend with no condescension. Tell him that I will NOT allow myself to ever be used as an alibi (thanks Bluesbaby!) and that I will neither OFFER anyone information about this, nor LIE for him and put my job in jeopardy for him.

Sorry Cerebus...this drama is unavoidable. Everyone in the office knows we're friends, so if the shit hits the fan, I don't want any flying in my face.

PurpleJedi said:

Cinnie said:

and for fucks' sakes can we please get an update on this matter before the end of Monday's work day?

Dude's on vacation with wife.

I'm preparing myself for "the talk" on Wednesday if I see him.

Thanks to so many people giving good advice, I have decided that I want to clear the air. Tell him what I know/suspect/heard about. Tell him how I feel about it & offer advice as a friend with no condescension. Tell him that I will NOT allow myself to ever be used as an alibi (thanks Bluesbaby!) and that I will neither OFFER anyone information about this, nor LIE for him and put my job in jeopardy for him.

Sorry Cerebus...this drama is unavoidable. Everyone in the office knows we're friends, so if the shit hits the fan, I don't want any flying in my face.

Good call, you won't regret it. Staying silent would not only have been morally dubious, it would also have led you into a world of trouble later on as you indicated above.

PurpleJedi said:

Sorry Cerebus...this drama is unavoidable. Everyone in the office knows we're friends, so if the shit hits the fan, I don't want any flying in my face.

If you don't/didn't say anything, it won't/wouldn't. Once you say something you're involved. I don't mean to be too harsh about it, but I really sounds like you want to be part of the drama. If you didn't you could easily walk away and have nothing to do with it. S'cool, you're not in the minority in this regard. But personally I would stay as far away from it as I can. He dug the hole, let him fall in it.

What world of trouble? How can keeping your nose out of somebody elses personal relationship cause problems? This thread is seriously why I don't get along with the human race.

Stay out of it and let him ruin his life. Everyone will turn on you, him the hussy and the wife. I know this from experience They will all turn

I wouldn't say anything because it's just a rumor.

Cinnie said:

and for fucks' sakes can we please get an update on this matter before the end of Monday's work day?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Stay out of it and let him ruin his life. Everyone will turn on you, him the hussy and the wife. I know this from experience They will all turn

That's what I'm saying...there's a very good chance of that happening.

Cerebus said:

PurpleJedi said:

Sorry Cerebus...this drama is unavoidable. Everyone in the office knows we're friends, so if the shit hits the fan, I don't want any flying in my face.

If you don't/didn't say anything, it won't/wouldn't. Once you say something you're involved. I don't mean to be too harsh about it, but I really sounds like you want to be part of the drama. If you didn't you could easily walk away and have nothing to do with it. S'cool, you're not in the minority in this regard. But personally I would stay as far away from it as I can. He dug the hole, let him fall in it.

See, I didn't want to say it first and perhaps hurt your feelings, but how do you think you could be blamed for any of this mess if you didn't get involved? If/when the shit hits the fan, if you're not one of the ones slinging shit, your face stays clean. Getting involved means just that. You're in the shit, too. Stay out of it, dude. Seriously.

Shyra said:

Cerebus said:

If you don't/didn't say anything, it won't/wouldn't. Once you say something you're involved. I don't mean to be too harsh about it, but I really sounds like you want to be part of the drama. If you didn't you could easily walk away and have nothing to do with it. S'cool, you're not in the minority in this regard. But personally I would stay as far away from it as I can. He dug the hole, let him fall in it.

See, I didn't want to say it first and perhaps hurt your feelings, but how do you think you could be blamed for any of this mess if you didn't get involved? If/when the shit hits the fan, if you're not one of the ones slinging shit, your face stays clean. Getting involved means just that. You're in the shit, too. Stay out of it, dude. Seriously.

agree Is it moral to warn a woman she's married to a two timing tramp? Sure? But you ever watch jerry springer where the women are pulling each other's hair because the man is sleeping with the other woman and nobody even addresses that without the man there is no problem? You'll be getting your hair pulled because homegirl will want vengance and like a lot of women, won't punish her man

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Shyra said:

See, I didn't want to say it first and perhaps hurt your feelings, but how do you think you could be blamed for any of this mess if you didn't get involved? If/when the shit hits the fan, if you're not one of the ones slinging shit, your face stays clean. Getting involved means just that. You're in the shit, too. Stay out of it, dude. Seriously.

agree Is it moral to warn a woman she's married to a two timing tramp? Sure? But you ever watch jerry springer where the women are pulling each other's hair because the man is sleeping with the other woman and nobody even addresses that without the man there is no problem? You'll be getting your hair pulled because homegirl will want vengance and like a lot of women, won't punish her man

I'm stepping away from this. My immediate supervisor made a comment to me earlier today...apparently the person who told me under the STRICTEST confidence isn't holding true to her own request for silence.

It's only a matter days before this becomes common knowledge. Apparently others in the company have noticed their flirtations as well.

I can't believe how weak & stupid people can be. 6 months ago I would have bet the ranch on him being an honest & faithful person. Even when I was first told, I dismised it.

I'm going to avoid the situation. Since apparently I'm not the only one who's "in" on it, I can avoid any shit hitting me in the face.

Yeah he's my friend, but ultimately - as many of you pointed out repeatedly - he's a grown man making his own decisions. He made the bed upon which he will ultimately lay.

PurpleJedi said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

agree Is it moral to warn a woman she's married to a two timing tramp? Sure? But you ever watch jerry springer where the women are pulling each other's hair because the man is sleeping with the other woman and nobody even addresses that without the man there is no problem? You'll be getting your hair pulled because homegirl will want vengance and like a lot of women, won't punish her man

I'm stepping away from this. My immediate supervisor made a comment to me earlier today...apparently the person who told me under the STRICTEST confidence isn't holding true to her own request for silence.

It's only a matter days before this becomes common knowledge. Apparently others in the company have noticed their flirtations as well.

I can't believe how weak & stupid people can be. 6 months ago I would have bet the ranch on him being an honest & faithful person. Even when I was first told, I dismised it.

I'm going to avoid the situation. Since apparently I'm not the only one who's "in" on it, I can avoid any shit hitting me in the face.

Yeah he's my friend, but ultimately - as many of you pointed out repeatedly - he's a grown man making his own decisions. He made the bed upon which he will ultimately lay.

See, you get to clear your concience cuz he's gonna get busted anyway and you won't have to take any bullest because the rest of the MFs at your job can't help but load their guns!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

See, you get to clear your concience cuz he's gonna get busted anyway and you won't have to take any bullest because the rest of the MFs at your job can't help but load their guns!

PurpleJedi said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

See, you get to clear your concience cuz he's gonna get busted anyway and you won't have to take any bullest because the rest of the MFs at your job can't help but load their guns!

Make sure to duck

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

PurpleJedi said:

Make sure to duck

Hell, I might just call in sick for the rest of the week.

Quick update;

Due to appointmets, vacations and holidays and stuff, I didn't need to do a damned thing to avoid him. He blew me off about going to the movies, and blew me off for lunch twice, so no need to deal with anything.

This week he's all chummy again, but I haven't made any suggestions to hang out or anything.

I don't know if someone else may have said something, because suddenly they are very distant. No more going to lunch together or any other obvious signs. However, being more vigilant now, I did notice that when he's in the office and "she" walks in the room, he can't take his eyes off of her.

I know it's not much of an update, but that's probably it. Unless something drastic happens, I'm dropping it. C'est la vie.

I would've told his boss as soon as I found out.

I had some good friends who I met while traveling and loved. I drove about 8 hours south to spend Christmas with them. The husband was constantly sending me emails before I came down. I didn't think much of it, because his wife is not a computer person and we were planning my visit. Plus I'm insanely naive. About a day after I got there, the husband outright asked me to have sex with him and even offered to pay me a whole lot of money to do it, right there in their house.

I turned him down politely, then found no recourse but to distance myself from both of them. They eventually moved across the country and now, ten years later, are still together with four kids.