Not the horrible lies that scarred you for life. That's for another thread I suppose.

Just the silly lies they told you just to tease or "see how you would react" (Stolen from Erin's bad haircut thread. I didn't want to hijack your thread Erin.)

When I was little....5-ish, my dad and my older sister (who is 4 years older) use to tell me that my mother turned into a frog at midnight. My mom use to try to play along with it, but when she saw I was uncertain and a little freaked out she'd crack. They didn't do this once....it was an ongoing thing.

If you swallowed watermelon seeds, you'd have them grow out of your ears.

If you crossed your eyes too much, they'll get stuck that way.

Homosexuals were evil.

All black people stole from you, or could possibly, at any moment, hijack your car.

Catholics were dirty people.

ernestsewell said:

If you swallowed watermelon seeds, you'd have them grow out of your ears.

If you crossed your eyes too much, they'll get stuck that way.

Homosexuals were evil.

All black people stole from you, or could possibly, at any moment, hijack your car.

Catholics were dirty people.

Ringing up my parents now -

when i was little my mom tried to convince me she was an undercover cop working on special cases. i was actually freaked out that everything i thought was my life and my mom was a lie. and then, she told me it was all a joke.

That the Chicken Heart from a Bill Cosby record was real. They're still all on my shit list.

I'll pay you back....I swear!

I'm starting to feel real about my family, all 6 of them. Only 2 are any good....the old folk! Makes me miss my mom and sis more, because they were always about family.

Nothinbutjoy said:

Not the horrible lies that scarred you for life. That's for another thread I suppose.

Just the silly lies they told you just to tease or "see how you would react" (Stolen from Erin's bad haircut thread. I didn't want to hijack your thread Erin.)

When I was little....5-ish, my dad and my older sister (who is 4 years older) use to tell me that my mother turned into a frog at midnight. My mom use to try to play along with it, but when she saw I was uncertain and a little freaked out she'd crack. They didn't do this once....it was an ongoing thing.

Jerking off would make my thing grow.

When i was very young, my grandmother told me she was 30 years old. So, when her birthday rolled around, I told everyone she was 31. Turns out she was 50.

ernestsewell said:

If you swallowed watermelon seeds, you'd have them grow out of your ears.

If you crossed your eyes too much, they'll get stuck that way.

Homosexuals were evil.

All black people stole from you, or could possibly, at any moment, hijack your car.

Catholics were dirty people.

That's a new one!

My father told me that he wasn't my father.

That my mom fucked his younger brother and made me.. my uncle would have been 14 at the time of conceiving me while my mom was 22.

He lied. He did fuck my mom and made me, he just didn't want another girl. Bastard better not ever need a kidney.

My mom told me she was a virgin until she married.

I was her second child and the only child (out of 6+) of my dad that was actually born out of wedlock.

My dad told me that my older sister was concieved in an alley on a dirty mattress that was left by a dumpster. How romantic!

My mom told us that my dad loved my sister more than me....

He told me and my sister that he tried to drop my sister out of a four story window when she was a baby. My uncle saved her from my dad that was high on coke. I swear he batter not ever need a kidney....

My aunt told my dad that we moved to Cali... we were always in Boston. I love my aunt.

In response to our constant criticisms of his speed demon road antics, my father has always sworn up and down that he's been driving since he was 3 years old. Being that he was born not too long after the Great Depression, I told him that horses and buggies don't count

If you have a bump on your tongue, then you must have told a lie.

Bulldog said:

If you have a bump on your tongue, then you must have told a lie.

OH! How could I forget all the supersticious lies my mom told me!!

- cats steal your breath and kill you in your sleep.

-The boogie man was real

-mopping the floors with honey will bring money.... it only brought us roaches

-wearing black is bad luck and will cause death in the family (I was a goth)

-cola was made from roach puree

I can go on and on... actually most of THIS stuff caused way more trauma that the crap my dad did.

If you dont finish your food, the left overs will rot and haunt you in the afterlife

LightOfArt said:

.

[Edited 8/29/10 12:07pm]

Santa

Easter Bunny

Tooth Fairy

Other than that, my parents never told us any weird shit.

Nothinbutjoy said:

Not the horrible lies that scarred you for life. That's for another thread I suppose.

Just the silly lies they told you just to tease or "see how you would react" (Stolen from Erin's bad haircut thread. I didn't want to hijack your thread Erin.)

When I was little....5-ish, my dad and my older sister (who is 4 years older) use to tell me that my mother turned into a frog at midnight. My mom use to try to play along with it, but when she saw I was uncertain and a little freaked out she'd crack. They didn't do this once....it was an ongoing thing.

Hey, I never kept anything going for more than a couple minutes!

ernestsewell said:

If you swallowed watermelon seeds, you'd have them grow out of your ears.

If you crossed your eyes too much, they'll get stuck that way.

Homosexuals were evil.

These are true.

JustErin said:

Santa

Easter Bunny

Tooth Fairy

Other than that, my parents never told us any weird shit.

Same ( my Mom, not Dad )

Now my 3 older brothers ~ THAT's a different story

LightOfArt said:

If you dont finish your food, the left overs will rot and haunt you in the afterlife

far out

my mum told me there were an army of chinese guys helping us with household stuff, like turning on and off the light inside the fridge. But they were so small and fast we'd never catch sight of them. They also live in the car, wiping the windscreen and stuff

Mach said:

JustErin said:

Santa

Easter Bunny

Tooth Fairy

Other than that, my parents never told us any weird shit.

Same ( my Mom, not Dad )

Now my 3 older brothers ~ THAT's a different story

I consider myself very lucky that I had fairly normal parents when it comes to things like this. I'm sure you do too.

When I asked my mom, how was Santa going to bring us our toy's when we didn't have fireplace ?

She said, "Santa Claus has a skeleton key can unlock any door to homes that don't have a fireplace".

:facepalm:

My uncle, a self-proclaimed minister, told me that KISS stood for "Knights in Satan's Service" and that if I kept listening to their music, Satan would somehow "get me."

If I didn't go to sleep the boogie man would get me.

JustErin said:

Mach said:

Same ( my Mom, not Dad )

Now my 3 older brothers ~ THAT's a different story

I consider myself very lucky that I had fairly normal parents when it comes to things like this. I'm sure you do too.

I do feel really blessed ~ Mom's not so normal now but I stand by her anyway

Prince was actually a male impersonator with a huge "penis envy" complex.

Harlepolis said:

Prince was actually a male impersonator with a huge "penis envy" complex.

ah shit !