I got this in my email!

What Types of Kisses are Best and Worst?


Please review your kissing techniques and make sure that you don't fall into any of these categories.

The El Nino Kiss. Those who went though the winter storms here on the West Coast know what I'm talking about! This is a kiss with entirely too much water. You are drooled on, slobbered on and when the kiss is over, you feel the need for a towel and maybe a shower. If you have a salivary gland problem, or your partner just makes you drool with lust, try SWALLOWING before you start KISSING.

The Iguana. Crusty, crunchy, scaly lips are OUT. This is a true case of lizard lips! Keep that kisser soft and touchable. If you run your lips gently across your lovers neck, cheek and lips, they shouldn't be left with what look like paper cuts.

The Prozac Kiss. You might wonder if this tongue needs tranquilizers, as it appears to be having a nervous breakdown! Fast, furious, darting or high-speed swirling motions reminiscent of a washing machine on the rinse cycle. Interesting I suppose, if you're into that sort of "household instrument" thing.

The Cave. In this instance your partner's mouth is open so wide that your tongue meets nothing but air on all sides! There is no exchange of sensation. It's like you're kissing by yourself! Try saying something and see if you hear an echo!

The Dirty Harry. Guys, either grow a beard or shave. That 5 o'clock shadow thing looks cute, but it can wreck havoc on a woman's tender body. Whisker burn just plain hurts. You don't know what it feels like to have sand papery stubble pierce the skin around your eyes or cheeks! With half her face scraped off, a woman feels less than romantic and is more inclined to get up to seek medical treatment than she is to get busy.

Trolling for Tonsils. Everybody likes tongue kissing, but my goodness! A little restraint on the depth of the kiss might be in order. If you have a tendency to extend your tongue to its full length in your partners mouth, be sure to check for a pulse when you get through.

The Kiss of Death. You would swear that there is a body buried around here somewhere, because the smell of decomposition is mighty strong! Brush those teefis! Use one of the vast selections of mouthwashes on the market. Hey, they even come in various colors, so it's possible to find one that coordinates with your bathroom décor! Get a new toothbrush every 3 months! Visit your dentist and check for gum disease and cavities, both of which contribute to bad breath. Eat more fruits, vegetables, and drink more water to keep your insides clean too.

The best kisses are those that are memorable, but leave you pantingly wanting more. The language of a kiss is communication without words. At various times you want to communicate attraction, affection, love, passion, lust, and I'll miss you, baby. Pay attention to what your mate responds to, and what seems to turn him or her off, then adjust your techniques accordingly. The goal is to go down in history as a man or woman with some serious Lip Skillz. Hey now!

soft, wet kisses that last about three days are my fave. Did you see Brandon and Sammi kiss on Days Monday. Whew...its gettin hot in heere

The El Nino Kiss. that's my other half

jthad1129 said:

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jthad1129 said:

omg !! you are funny !! sammy and brandon LOL
we have all had kissers such as the aforementioned... There really is nothing better than a great kiss. Well, maybe a great hug on a hard day.
&

Lleena said:

2the9s said:

Shutup! stop laughing at my thread!

Lleena said:

The Org is like a mirror!

2the9s said:

Well don't mind me Ive got a headache.

My favorite s are gentle bites on the lips, deep slow kisses, and a gentle, but talented, tongue.

LaVisHh said:

Noted

Lleena said:

UTCM...nuff said

jthad1129 said:

Somebody has seen Bull Durham

LaVisHh said:

Oh yeah girl, now your talkin.

Since 1992 it's been impossible for me to kiss anyone
without hearing Prince's voice pop into my head sayin

"all tongue, yeah, that's right I want all your germs"

:O

At which point it's like kissing Prince so I have to
open my eyes and watch my partner to concentrate.

So then you start observing them, and then the room
and then start thinking "god, I want a cigarette" or
"did I close the frontdoor when I left?", "what am I
gonna have for dinner tomorrow?".