To me it seems to be much more natural to date someone some years younger than some years older. When I meet guys who are older (and sometimes even if they are my age or a little bit younger ) I just get the impression they are way too old and boring . Sadly now that I am with a man 8 years younger we both consider each other boring in many ways even though we both are not , just for each other, as we don't have much in common which is not so much because of the age difference though.

I am wondering how much the relationship with our fathers plays a role about age preferences when it comes to men . If the women who are interested in older men are looking for a father figure and I am not .

bboy87 said:

chocolate1 said:

When I was 40, I dated someone who was 22.

I didn't realize HOW young he was at first (I thought he was at least 30).

The difference was just too much. He was born the year I graduated high school.

I was only 6 years younger than his mom, and we couldn't relate culturally- music, pop references, etc.

And in other areas... it was fun for a while, but...

I'd date someone slightly younger now, but I'm done playing "Cougar".

Maybe I can make some exceptions.

chocolate1 said:

bboy87 said:

Maybe I can make some exceptions.

bring a cam

`

[Edited 10/22/10 7:23am]

Serious said:

To me it seems to be much more natural to date someone some years younger than some years older. When I meet guys who are older (and sometimes even if they are my age or a little bit younger ) I just get the impression they are way too old and boring . Sadly now that I am with a man 8 years younger we both consider each other boring in many ways even though we both are not , just for each other, as we don't have much in common which is not so much because of the age difference though.

I am wondering how much the relationship with our fathers plays a role about age preferences when it comes to men . If the women who are interested in older men are looking for a father figure and I am not .

I guess this depends on culture too. The men in my circles tend to be cheaters and just on the wild side when they are younger, so the older men seem more desireable.

Now I am 39 and the men that are 40+ years are just downright gorgeous. They tend to look better then the younger 20 somethings. They tend to be classier and more laid back and fun.

Its a different world I guess, but the guy I have is 10 years older, he is very sexy and fun. I run from younger men I meet... the older men I tend to meet remind me of Dex. All sexy and grown, and the conversation is wonderful, like men are comfortable and are better to get to know since they have come into their own and are more at ease and are NOT trying to BS you or play mind games.

[Edited 8/20/10 17:24pm]

Always younger. Because I don't look or act my age. Not into Bingo or crocheting.

paintedlady said:

Serious said:

To me it seems to be much more natural to date someone some years younger than some years older. When I meet guys who are older (and sometimes even if they are my age or a little bit younger ) I just get the impression they are way too old and boring . Sadly now that I am with a man 8 years younger we both consider each other boring in many ways even though we both are not , just for each other, as we don't have much in common which is not so much because of the age difference though.

I am wondering how much the relationship with our fathers plays a role about age preferences when it comes to men . If the women who are interested in older men are looking for a father figure and I am not .

I guess this depends on culture too. The men in my circles tend to be cheaters and just on the wild side when they are younger, so the older men seem more desireable.

Now I am 39 and the men that are 40+ years are just downright gorgeous. They tend to look better then the younger 20 somethings. They tend to be classier and more laid back and fun.

Its a different world I guess, but the guy I have is 10 years older, he is very sexy and fun. I run from younger men I meet... the older men I tend to meet remind me of Dex. All sexy and grown, and the conversation is wonderful, like men are comfortable and are better to get to know since they have come into their own and are more at ease and are NOT trying to BS you or play mind games.

[Edited 8/20/10 17:24pm]

Here, here!

paintedlady said:

Serious said:

To me it seems to be much more natural to date someone some years younger than some years older. When I meet guys who are older (and sometimes even if they are my age or a little bit younger ) I just get the impression they are way too old and boring . Sadly now that I am with a man 8 years younger we both consider each other boring in many ways even though we both are not , just for each other, as we don't have much in common which is not so much because of the age difference though.

I am wondering how much the relationship with our fathers plays a role about age preferences when it comes to men . If the women who are interested in older men are looking for a father figure and I am not .

I guess this depends on culture too. The men in my circles tend to be cheaters and just on the wild side when they are younger, so the older men seem more desireable.

Now I am 39 and the men that are 40+ years are just downright gorgeous. They tend to look better then the younger 20 somethings. They tend to be classier and more laid back and fun.

Its a different world I guess, but the guy I have is 10 years older, he is very sexy and fun. I run from younger men I meet... the older men I tend to meet remind me of Dex. All sexy and grown, and the conversation is wonderful, like men are comfortable and are better to get to know since they have come into their own and are more at ease and are NOT trying to BS you or play mind games.

[Edited 8/20/10 17:24pm]

Good that you found out what makes you happy I am not saying I will never be with a man older than I am. I don't chose who I fall in love with, it either happens or it doesn't and there is nothing I can do about it anyway.

Serious said:

To me it seems to be much more natural to date someone some years younger than some years older. When I meet guys who are older (and sometimes even if they are my age or a little bit younger ) I just get the impression they are way too old and boring . Sadly now that I am with a man 8 years younger we both consider each other boring in many ways even though we both are not , just for each other, as we don't have much in common which is not so much because of the age difference though.

I am wondering how much the relationship with our fathers plays a role about age preferences when it comes to men . If the women who are interested in older men are looking for a father figure and I am not .

I would say that wouldn't be the case for me, personally. I come from a 2 parent household with parents who have been married for 46 years, and the last thing I'm looking for is a father figure. I remember I dated a young man for a short time in the late 90's ( 3 years younger than me), and this fool wanted me to call him "daddy" as a nickname. I had to let him know that that was out of the question and clearly he was out of his mind. Mine already raised me, thanks, and I ain't looking for another one

Like i said earlier, I'm just at a point in my life where I'm enjoying being with someone who has really hit every aspect of life head on as a result of his age and experiences, physically, psychologically ,artistically, financially, and has survived..he's seen both the zenith and the nadir of life and has come out to be pretty damned balanced at his age, and that shit is sexy as hell to me.

Ottensen said:

Serious said:

To me it seems to be much more natural to date someone some years younger than some years older. When I meet guys who are older (and sometimes even if they are my age or a little bit younger ) I just get the impression they are way too old and boring . Sadly now that I am with a man 8 years younger we both consider each other boring in many ways even though we both are not , just for each other, as we don't have much in common which is not so much because of the age difference though.

I am wondering how much the relationship with our fathers plays a role about age preferences when it comes to men . If the women who are interested in older men are looking for a father figure and I am not .

I would say that wouldn't be the case for me, personally. I come from a 2 parent household with parents who have been married for 46 years, and the last thing I'm looking for is a father figure. I remember I dated a young man for a short time in the late 90's ( 3 years younger than me), and this fool wanted me to call him "daddy" as a nickname. I had to let him know that that was out of the question and clearly he was out of his mind. Mine already raised me, thanks, and I ain't looking for another one

Like i said earlier, I'm just at a point in my life where I'm enjoying being with someone who has really hit every aspect of life head on as a result of his age and experiences, physically, psychologically ,artistically, financially, and has survived..he's seen both the zenith and the nadir of life and has come out to be pretty damned balanced at his age, and that shit is sexy as hell to me.

So were you looking for an older partner to have that kind of experience or did yu meet him and find out that that is what is perfect for you?

I say go for it.

Serious said:

Ottensen said:

I would say that wouldn't be the case for me, personally. I come from a 2 parent household with parents who have been married for 46 years, and the last thing I'm looking for is a father figure. I remember I dated a young man for a short time in the late 90's ( 3 years younger than me), and this fool wanted me to call him "daddy" as a nickname. I had to let him know that that was out of the question and clearly he was out of his mind. Mine already raised me, thanks, and I ain't looking for another one

Like i said earlier, I'm just at a point in my life where I'm enjoying being with someone who has really hit every aspect of life head on as a result of his age and experiences, physically, psychologically ,artistically, financially, and has survived..he's seen both the zenith and the nadir of life and has come out to be pretty damned balanced at his age, and that shit is sexy as hell to me.

So were you looking for an older partner to have that kind of experience or did yu meet him and find out that that is what is perfect for you?

No, I was not looking for an older partner. I generally don't take age into consideration when I initially become attracted to someone unless it's someone young enough to be my offspring or old enough to be a dad, hell, an uncle even. In the case of my fiance, he attends the same church as I do, we worked together on alot of ministry and outreach projects, and somewhere in between I figured out that I like his swagger and he likes mine ,but there are definitely concrete life goals and spiritual aims there as a result of the lives we've both led before we found each other. The level of experience (and survival) is the glue which cements the relationship. It's not the type of union I see being able to work out with someone younger who's still wet behind the ears, although they make great bed partners and look quite fabulous on the arm at a dinner party or gallery vernissage .

Ottensen said:

Serious said:

So were you looking for an older partner to have that kind of experience or did yu meet him and find out that that is what is perfect for you?

No, I was not looking for an older partner. I generally don't take age into consideration when I initially become attracted to someone unless it's someone young enough to be my offspring or old enough to be a dad, hell, an uncle even. In the case of my fiance, he attends the same church as I do, we worked together on alot of ministry and outreach projects, and somewhere in between I figured out that I like his swagger and he likes mine ,but there are definitely concrete life goals and spiritual aims there as a result of the lives we've both led before we found each other. The level of experience (and survival) is the glue which cements the relationship. It's not the type of union I see being able to work out with someone younger who's still wet behind the ears, although they make great bed partners and look quite fabulous on the arm at a dinner party or gallery vernissage .

Neither do I. Congrats that you have found your perfect match !

Even though my boyfriend is some years younger than I am he has experienced and survived a lot in his life, so much more than my ex-bf although he is older than him. They both are like children in a way too in certain situations though and that definitely is something that attracts me: A man who still has that inner child in him kept alive. I am like that myself too, no matter what experiences I made in my life, no matter I am grown up, in some ways I still feel like a a child and I don't want to ever loose that. I guess that is one of the reasons why I usually feel attracted to younger men, apart from the looks .

Serious said:

paintedlady said:

I guess this depends on culture too. The men in my circles tend to be cheaters and just on the wild side when they are younger, so the older men seem more desireable.

Now I am 39 and the men that are 40+ years are just downright gorgeous. They tend to look better then the younger 20 somethings. They tend to be classier and more laid back and fun.

Its a different world I guess, but the guy I have is 10 years older, he is very sexy and fun. I run from younger men I meet... the older men I tend to meet remind me of Dex. All sexy and grown, and the conversation is wonderful, like men are comfortable and are better to get to know since they have come into their own and are more at ease and are NOT trying to BS you or play mind games.

[Edited 8/20/10 17:24pm]

Good that you found out what makes you happy I am not saying I will never be with a man older than I am. I don't chose who I fall in love with, it either happens or it doesn't and there is nothing I can do about it anyway.

I think you find someone who has the same likes and dislikes and you just go with it. Personalities are the binders, more than just age or cutural backgrounds.

I always dated men my own age, until a few years ago because most men that are single are a bit older than me. So I wasn't looking for an older guy either, just happened to be that the guy I like happens to be older.

But I must admit that the guy I am with now is SEXY, and most men on the org over 40 are sexy too. An intelligent man is always a turn on to me.

Dearest Heartbeatocean, gurl... if you and this younger guy vibe well and you enjoy his personality and conversation, then I say go for it!

paintedlady said:

Serious said:

To me it seems to be much more natural to date someone some years younger than some years older. When I meet guys who are older (and sometimes even if they are my age or a little bit younger ) I just get the impression they are way too old and boring . Sadly now that I am with a man 8 years younger we both consider each other boring in many ways even though we both are not , just for each other, as we don't have much in common which is not so much because of the age difference though.

I am wondering how much the relationship with our fathers plays a role about age preferences when it comes to men . If the women who are interested in older men are looking for a father figure and I am not .

I guess this depends on culture too. The men in my circles tend to be cheaters and just on the wild side when they are younger, so the older men seem more desireable.

Now I am 39 and the men that are 40+ years are just downright gorgeous. They tend to look better then the younger 20 somethings. They tend to be classier and more laid back and fun.

Its a different world I guess, but the guy I have is 10 years older, he is very sexy and fun. I run from younger men I meet... the older men I tend to meet remind me of Dex. All sexy and grown, and the conversation is wonderful, like men are comfortable and are better to get to know since they have come into their own and are more at ease and are NOT trying to BS you or play mind games.

[Edited 8/20/10 17:24pm]

39? Shit, you're just a baby to me.

paintedlady said:

Serious said:

Good that you found out what makes you happy I am not saying I will never be with a man older than I am. I don't chose who I fall in love with, it either happens or it doesn't and there is nothing I can do about it anyway.

I think you find someone who has the same likes and dislikes and you just go with it. Personalities are the binders, more than just age or cutural backgrounds.

I always dated men my own age, until a few years ago because most men that are single are a bit older than me. So I wasn't looking for an older guy either, just happened to be that the guy I like happens to be older.

But I must admit that the guy I am with now is SEXY, and most men on the org over 40 are sexy too. An intelligent man is always a turn on to me.

Dearest Heartbeatocean, gurl... if you and this younger guy vibe well and you enjoy his personality and conversation, then I say go for it!

It was totally like that with my ex, but my current boyfriend and I are as different as people can be, in every way possible . We have nothing in common at all, but we love each other.

As much a being dumb usually is a turn off being intelligent never was a turn on for me. I guess because my dad's family side is extemely intelligent but totally unattractive, boring and unsexy .

Serious said:

paintedlady said:

I think you find someone who has the same likes and dislikes and you just go with it. Personalities are the binders, more than just age or cutural backgrounds.

I always dated men my own age, until a few years ago because most men that are single are a bit older than me. So I wasn't looking for an older guy either, just happened to be that the guy I like happens to be older.

But I must admit that the guy I am with now is SEXY, and most men on the org over 40 are sexy too. An intelligent man is always a turn on to me.

Dearest Heartbeatocean, gurl... if you and this younger guy vibe well and you enjoy his personality and conversation, then I say go for it!

It was totally like that with my ex, but my current boyfriend and I are as different as people can be, in every way possible . We have nothing in common at all, but we love each other.

As much a being dumb usually is a turn off being intelligent never was a turn on for me. I guess because my dad's family side is extemely intelligent but totally unattractive, boring and unsexy .

Intelligence is all relative....

I see intelligence = street smart and lots of common sense. I know lots of former thugs so these guys are sexy as hell. Yes, I love me a bad boy, always did.

I never thought books smarts = intelligence simply because I know lots of educated (accomplished) men that know nothing about communicating with women. They tend to be full of themselves and that to me is boring.

uPtoWnNY said:

39? Shit, you're just a baby to me.

You are NOT some damn retiree, so just stop it.

paintedlady said:

Serious said:

It was totally like that with my ex, but my current boyfriend and I are as different as people can be, in every way possible . We have nothing in common at all, but we love each other.

As much a being dumb usually is a turn off being intelligent never was a turn on for me. I guess because my dad's family side is extemely intelligent but totally unattractive, boring and unsexy .

Intelligence is all relative....

I see intelligence = street smart and lots of common sense. I know lots of former thugs so these guys are sexy as hell. Yes, I love me a bad boy, always did.

I never thought books smarts = intelligence simply because I know lots of educated (accomplished) men that know nothing about communicating with women. They tend to be full of themselves and that to me is boring.

Many intelligent men are damn boring IMO.

Communicating though is key for me. I just wish the men I love were willing to communicate more .

Can someone "defi" immature. I mean. I still play videogames, but only fighting ones. And not for countless hours. I know a 31 year old woman who doesn't understand my passion for creating charactors. She thinks it's childish, and doesn't think nothing will come out of it. I'm 27.

funkycat00 said:

Can someone "defi" immature. I mean. I still play videogames, but only fighting ones. And not for countless hours. I know a 31 year old woman who doesn't understand my passion for creating charactors. She thinks it's childish, and doesn't think nothing will come out of it. I'm 27.

Well, that's definitely not what I mean by immature.

funkycat00 said:

Can someone "defi" immature. I mean. I still play videogames, but only fighting ones. And not for countless hours. I know a 31 year old woman who doesn't understand my passion for creating charactors. She thinks it's childish, and doesn't think nothing will come out of it. I'm 27.

I know what you mean

funkycat00 said:

Can someone "defi" immature. I mean. I still play videogames, but only fighting ones. And not for countless hours. I know a 31 year old woman who doesn't understand my passion for creating charactors. She thinks it's childish, and doesn't think nothing will come out of it. I'm 27.

IMO an immature guy is a selfish one. Regardless of age and interests, if a person strives to meet only their own personal needs in a relationship... this to me is an immature person.

for example...

they don't want to do what the other person wants to do because any interests outside of their own bores them

they don't want to listen to what their partners needs are, they tune out in arguements and in regular discussions

they don't want to compromise, they want things THEIR way

they do not consider the feeling s of their partner beofre making any plans or decisions.

A relationship is a partnership, so a selfish person will always find themselves at odds with any partner they choose to be with. Babies have needs, but by nature are selfish, and I see selfish people as being immature just like babies.

funkycat00 said:

Can someone "defi" immature. I mean. I still play videogames, but only fighting ones. And not for countless hours. I know a 31 year old woman who doesn't understand my passion for creating charactors. She thinks it's childish, and doesn't think nothing will come out of it. I'm 27.

She should mind her own business. It's your hobby, you're not hurting anybody, so what's the problem? I play way more than you do, and I'm 49.

Paintedlady described immaturity perfectly....and that's why I'll never get married. There are certain things I'm dead set against.

So I went to see Tears for Fears again tonight... YAY!

Anyway, the parking attendant was flirting big time and asked me for my phone #.

I asked him how old he is.... 23!

Yeah, he was checkin' out the almost-43-year old (3 days!).

No, I didn't give it to him... but it was nice that he asked!

chocolate1 said:

So I went to see Tears for Fears again tonight... YAY!

Anyway, the parking attendant was flirting big time and asked me for my phone #.

I asked him how old he is.... 23!

Yeah, he was checkin' out the almost-43-year old (3 days!).

No, I didn't give it to him... but it was nice that he asked!

you coulda/shoulda rocked his world...

RenHoek said:

chocolate1 said:

So I went to see Tears for Fears again tonight... YAY!

Anyway, the parking attendant was flirting big time and asked me for my phone #.

I asked him how old he is.... 23!

Yeah, he was checkin' out the almost-43-year old (3 days!).

No, I didn't give it to him... but it was nice that he asked!

you coulda/shoulda rocked his world...

yeeeesuh!

RenHoek said:

chocolate1 said:

So I went to see Tears for Fears again tonight... YAY!

Anyway, the parking attendant was flirting big time and asked me for my phone #.

I asked him how old he is.... 23!

Yeah, he was checkin' out the almost-43-year old (3 days!).

No, I didn't give it to him... but it was nice that he asked!

you coulda/shoulda rocked his world...

AGREE!!!

[img:$uid]http://i38.tinypic.com/2wn7190.jpg[/img:$uid]

to all the beautiful ladies!

Nope, I have never/don't now... not yet anyway

No judgement whatsoever though. Just hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean it won't in the future.