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Things that should be on a bumper sticker. Have you heard, discovered or read something that should be on a bumper sticker?
Here's mine: Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a No More Haters on the Internet. | |
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If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair. | |
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I'd like one that says, "BACK THE FUCK OFF, STUPID."
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Or how 'bout, "YOU'RE DOING AT LEAST 60KM AND YOU'RE VIRTUALLY ON TOP OF ME. WHAT DO YOU THINK'S GONNA HAPPEN IF I HAVE TO HIT MY BRAKES? "? | |
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Maybe, "WHERE'S THE FIRE, ASSHOLE? " | |
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I saw one that was classic:
GO ON FOOL. HELL IS JUST UP THE ROAD!
Even better:
SPEED ON, FOOL. THERE'S A TREE STANDING WITH YOUR NAME ON IT!
When someone parks so close to you, making it almost impossible to move your car:
Next time, leave me a can opener so I can pry my fucking car out! | |
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Wow - there sure are a lot of bitter slowpokes in the world. We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
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No, I'm not necessarily a slow-poke. I hate drag-assin as much as the next guy, but when I see fools speeding recklessly, it makes me a bit angry. They could kill somebody! | |
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So could people who drive too slowly. We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
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Yeah, ya gotta point. When I see a little old man or lady hunched over the wheel driving 25mph in a 55mph zone, I steer the hell clear. I'm all for geriatric driving tests. When you reach 70 years old, time for another road test! | |
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Joel Hodgson had this great joke about having a bumper sticker in Braille. It said, "If you can read this, you're too close." "She made me glad to be a man" | |
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I saw a real funny bumper sticker (back in the 80's) that read:
Bumper to bumper Butt to butt Get off my ass You crazy nut!
I remember telling a close friend of mine about this bumper sticker and saying, "If I ever see that bumper sticker anywhere, I'm buying it!" Unfortunately, I never did, but that bumper sticker cracked me up when I saw it. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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"jesus isn't coming". | |
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I like that one. | |
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One that is already out there is still a favorite.
"If you drive any closer to me, I'll flick a booger on your windshield" | |
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[img:$uid]http://i906.photobucket.com/albums/ac268/squirrelgrease2009/Picture1.png[/img:$uid] If prince.org were to be made idiot proof, someone would just invent a better idiot. | |
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@ both y'all.
I used to have a close friend whose CA license plate read: MORON
I was awesome because it could be used in multiple ways. If he did something stupid, well, his plate does say he's a moron. And people who read it from behind would suddenly back off a few car lengths.
I don't think I'll have them if I ever buy another car. But the favorite on my last car had oversized yellow letters on an all black stickert that said:
HANG UP AND DRIVE
[Edited 8/11/10 20:32pm] | |
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I just one one that says "fuck off and die motherfucker" | |
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nobody cares about your children everyone's a fruit & nut case | |
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I would buy that one, but it would be a literal meaning for me. Not a response to those "my child" bumper stickers. | |
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That's already a bumper sticker. I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. | |
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I haven't seen it on a bumper sticker, but I did see it stencilled across the back window of a jacked up 4 x 4 pickup truck being driven by a girl. | |
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