Cerebus said:

JustErin said:

What the hell is 'imitation crab meat'?

And while I'm thinking about it, what the fuck is 'mock chicken'?

"... mock, mock.... mock, mock, MOOOOCk...... "

Don't know why. Just cracked me up.

oh oh...is it right? Is it mock chicken?

Aah Craigslist personals, a great place to go when you want to lose your appetite.

JustErin said:

Cerebus said:

"... mock, mock.... mock, mock, MOOOOCk...... "

Don't know why. Just cracked me up.

oh oh...is it right? Is it mock chicken?

it is indeed I'm always picking this can up in the asian grocer but too afraid to buy it.

the way the texture is vaguely meant to look like plucked chicken skin is too much for me

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

oh oh...is it right? Is it mock chicken?

it is indeed I'm always picking this can up in the asian grocer but too afraid to buy it.

the way the texture is vaguely meant to look like plucked chicken skin is too much for me

Wait, wtf? I thought it was like baloney slices but had that gross red trim around it??

Actually, what is baloney???

As you can tell, I do not eat these things. Off to google I go.

Cerebus said:

JO people. JO. You would do that for imitation crab meat? Not me. I'd need at least five hundred, in cash.

$500 cash??? WTF is your dick made of gold??

Do you know how much shit I can buy for $500??? Aint no dick in any way shape or juicy veiny girthy form worht $500 cash.

[Edited 8/11/10 22:19pm]

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

it is indeed I'm always picking this can up in the asian grocer but too afraid to buy it.

the way the texture is vaguely meant to look like plucked chicken skin is too much for me

Wait, wtf? I thought it was like baloney slices but had that gross red trim around it??

Actually, what is baloney???

As you can tell, I do not eat these things. Off to google I go.

me too! I have heard that word on american tv shows for 30 years without a clue! I've always thought it must be like Devon luncheon meat

The master eats Mortadella, which I'd put in the same category as this:

This is what I think of when I hear mock chicken.

I think these deli meats are gross-er than the craigslist ad. I don't want to learn anything more about them.

that's like chicken all mashed up, probably including beaks and feathers and sodium nitrate yum yum

SilverlakePhil said:

Aah Craigslist personals, a great place to go when you want to lose your appetite.

Or a bucketload of sperm, if you like jerking off to tornadoes.

ZombieKitten said:

that's like chicken all mashed up, probably including beaks and feathers and sodium nitrate yum yum

What I don't get is, why the hell do you use words like "mock" and "imitation" in your food names?

Ugh, so gross...and yet, people still eat them.

I'd rather masturbate with old jo buddy as I stomp around on his son's trains pretending to be Godzilla than eat that shit.

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

that's like chicken all mashed up, probably including beaks and feathers and sodium nitrate yum yum

What I don't get is, why the hell do you use words like "mock" and "imitation" in your food names?

Ugh, so gross...and yet, people still eat them.

I'd rather masturbate with old jo buddy as I stomp around on his son's trains pretending to be Godzilla than eat that shit.

you're not meant to BREAK the trains though - that part was most confusing for me in that ad

do you have cheese food in Canada?

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

What I don't get is, why the hell do you use words like "mock" and "imitation" in your food names?

Ugh, so gross...and yet, people still eat them.

I'd rather masturbate with old jo buddy as I stomp around on his son's trains pretending to be Godzilla than eat that shit.

you're not meant to BREAK the trains though - that part was most confusing for me in that ad

do you have cheese food in Canada?

Um, we have processed cheese slices and Cheezwiz (sp?). Is that what you mean?

<--loves him some Wawa or Subway imitation crab/seafood sammich.

[Edited 8/11/10 22:25pm]

johnart said:

Cerebus said:

JO people. JO. You would do that for imitation crab meat? Not me. I'd need at least five hundred, in cash.

$500 cash??? WTF is your dick made of gold??

Do you know how much shit I can buy for $500??? Aint no dick in any way shape or juicy veiny girthy form worht $500 cash.

[Edited 8/11/10 22:19pm]

I didn't say my DICK was worth $500 cash. It's worth way the hell more than that! I mean, serious question dude. You don't think your dick is worth more than $500? What I said was, it would take at least $500 cash for me to show up and JO. No way I'd be doin' that mess for some imitation crab meat.... or some mock, mock, MOOOCK chicken.

I'd do it just for the fake crab and to kick around some trains. You gotta eat somethin'.

Cerebus said:

johnart said:

$500 cash??? WTF is your dick made of gold??

Do you know how much shit I can buy for $500??? Aint no dick in any way shape or juicy veiny girthy form worht $500 cash.

[Edited 8/11/10 22:19pm]

I didn't say my DICK was worth $500 cash. It's worth way the hell more than that! I mean, serious question dude. You don't think your dick is worth more than $500? What I said was, it would take at least $500 cash for me to show up and JO. No way I'd be doin' that mess for some imitation crab meat.... or some mock, mock, MOOOCK chicken.

I know exactly what you meant.

No. In all honesty I would JO for a LOT less that $500. Congrats tho.

I wouldn't with that particular dude but generally speakin.

Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food = Velveeta

I'm pretty sure it used to say that on the box, too. They may have changed it, though, because all the pictures I can find right now say, "Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product". Which sounds SOOOO much more appetizing.

johnart said:

Cerebus said:

I didn't say my DICK was worth $500 cash. It's worth way the hell more than that! I mean, serious question dude. You don't think your dick is worth more than $500? What I said was, it would take at least $500 cash for me to show up and JO. No way I'd be doin' that mess for some imitation crab meat.... or some mock, mock, MOOOCK chicken.

I know exactly what you meant.

No. In all honesty I would JO for a LOT less that $500. Congrats tho.

I wouldn't with that particular dude but generally speakin.

Why not him? No touching remember, so thats ok.

johnart said:

Cerebus said:

I didn't say my DICK was worth $500 cash. It's worth way the hell more than that! I mean, serious question dude. You don't think your dick is worth more than $500? What I said was, it would take at least $500 cash for me to show up and JO. No way I'd be doin' that mess for some imitation crab meat.... or some mock, mock, MOOOCK chicken.

I know exactly what you meant.

No. In all honesty I would JO for a LOT less that $500. Congrats tho.

I wouldn't with that particular dude but generally speakin.

Well, ya know, I ain't nothin' special. I just don't work cheap, I guess.

Cerebus said:

johnart said:

I know exactly what you meant.

No. In all honesty I would JO for a LOT less that $500. Congrats tho.

I wouldn't with that particular dude but generally speakin.

Well, ya know, I ain't nothin' special. I just don't work cheap, I guess.

It's a dick and some hand-work. It really shouldn't be all that expensive for anyone.

johnart said:

Cerebus said:

Well, ya know, I ain't nothin' special. I just don't work cheap, I guess.

It's a dick and some hand-work. It really shouldn't be all that expensive for anyone.

I don't know about all that now. I mean, I understand what you're saying. In the right situation, if I was comfortable with the parties involved, it might not cost a damn thing. But to go to some dudes house that I've never met and play JO Godzilla on his train set? That's gonna cost a bit. And I really think $500 is a bargain in that regard. I'm sure that if the ad was real that he found a taker. Probably more than one, actually.

Cerebus said:

johnart said:

It's a dick and some hand-work. It really shouldn't be all that expensive for anyone.

I don't know about all that now. I mean, I understand what you're saying. In the right situation, if I was comfortable with the parties involved, it might not cost a damn thing. But to go to some dudes house that I've never met and play JO Godzilla on his train set? That's gonna cost a bit. And I really think $500 is a bargain in that regard. I'm sure that if the ad was real that he found a taker. Probably more than one, actually.

I've always figured there is someone out there who's gonna be into any damn thing you could possibly conjure up.

I'm still gonna say that $500 is too high for a simple JO and stomp. You have to really consider your market.

[Edited 8/11/10 22:47pm]

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

it is indeed I'm always picking this can up in the asian grocer but too afraid to buy it.

the way the texture is vaguely meant to look like plucked chicken skin is too much for me

Wait, wtf? I thought it was like baloney slices but had that gross red trim around it??

Actually, what is baloney???

As you can tell, I do not eat these things. Off to google I go.

Balogna and hot dogs are real meat (but a lot of that is "trim", too) that have been mixed with a cereal product, or soy, probably some egg whites and spices, add in some nitrates, nitrites and other preservatives and, BLAM! Meat "product". The red stuff on bologna is just an artificial casing used to help it keep it's shape.

I had no idea that "Mock Chicken" was real thing, though. It's probably just another fake meat soy product. They're pretty endless these days.

Oh crap. I just read the "Fried Gluten" on the can of Mock Chicken. That's just nasty soundin'. Blech!

Cerebus said:

Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food = Velveeta

I'm pretty sure it used to say that on the box, too. They may have changed it, though, because all the pictures I can find right now say, "Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product". Which sounds SOOOO much more appetizing.

yuk!

Cerebus said:

JustErin said:

Wait, wtf? I thought it was like baloney slices but had that gross red trim around it??

Actually, what is baloney???

As you can tell, I do not eat these things. Off to google I go.

Balogna and hot dogs are real meat (but a lot of that is "trim", too) that have been mixed with a cereal product, or soy, probably some egg whites and spices, add in some nitrates, nitrites and other preservatives and, BLAM! Meat "product". The red stuff on bologna is just an artificial casing used to help it keep it's shape.

I had no idea that "Mock Chicken" was real thing, though. It's probably just another fake meat soy product. They're pretty endless these days.

I think so

I didn't even know how to spell baloney...er...I mean...balogna.

Cerebus said:

Oh crap. I just read the "Fried Gluten" on the can of Mock Chicken. That's just nasty soundin'. Blech!

you know what, it looks OK!

http://images.google.com....p;gs_rfai=

JustErin said:

I didn't even know how to spell baloney...er...I mean...balogna.

Baloney is an accepted variant of balogna.

Cerebus said:

JustErin said:

I didn't even know how to spell baloney...er...I mean...balogna.

Baloney is an accepted variant of balogna.

did you know you can laser engrave it and call it meatvertising?

http://blog.epromos.com/a...p_mea.html