For me, it's a bullshit statement. Couple of quick openers:

• Sorry is defined as "deplorable" or "regretful".
• Someone once said that "BUT" in a sentence really means, "Forget everything I just said, here is what I really mean."

So, generic example from the Org.

Person A starts a thread that says, "I love The Rainbow Children, it's a masterpiece."

Person B replies and says, "I'm sorry, but it's utter bullshit front to back."

In reality, Person B has no remorse or qualms about calling it bullshit. They don't like it, right? So why apologize for it, or be "sorry"? They're not sorry for their opinion, they own it by simply speaking it and answering the topic.

Are they sorry to possibly hurt the other person's feelings? I call bullshit on that, too. Why? It's not Person A's album, is it? Of course not, it's just a record album by someone (or whatever, insert movie, book, make and model of an automobile, a wood finish, a pair of shoes, or one of the 31 flavors at Baskin Robbins here). So why be "regretful" or "deplorable"?

They're surely not regretting saying TRC sucks monkey balls, nor are they being deplorable for having an opinion about a CD.

There is a time and place and situation to say I'm sorry, or be apologetic for having inadvertently offended someone. Always. But it seems two-faced (for lack of a better term), or perhaps self-contradictory, to say "I'm sorry, but..." Well, you're not sorry, or you'd stop before you speak, OR you'd just say, "It's bullshit. Just my two cents." That's all it really is anyway, right? Whether we love or dislike anything, it's all just our own two cents.

The idea of agreeing to disagree is valid. So why be "sorry" for having a brain and an opinion that might differ from someone else?

I absolutely hate that shit. I also hate when people tell you what they're thinking, and they say "Just kidding!" Whatever. There's some truth behind every joke.

Trust me, I get to hear that very statement quite often and it gets on my last nerve. It makes my curly hair want to go completely straight. It's usually someone who has something to say about how I dress, what my hair's up to, or my sexuality. They call it a "compliment" and/or some kind of "opinion", but really it's usually some tired way of trying to insult me without directly doing it.

I have been guilty of it, but once I took the time to realize how it sounds I just nixed it. What's even more interesting is calling people out on it. It either starts great debates or totally messes up their smelly little points. You are 100% right. It's very two-faced.

ScarletScandal said:

I absolutely hate that shit. I also hate when people tell you what they're thinking, and they say "Just kidding!" Whatever. There's some truth behind every joke.

You need a long holiday.

mordang said:

You need a long holiday.

You should have said:

I'm sorry but you need a long holiday.

Just kidding

I did contemplate it, but I was afraid to invoke a nervous breakdown.

One can apologize, pardon or excuse themselves, but sorry, no one should ever have to be.

Sorry derives from sorrow, and it shouldn't be a word tossed around frequently.

(and especially not if they don't mean it )

[Edited 8/8/10 4:20am]

I know this annoys you Ernest but a long as I can remember, it's been apart of Black people vernacular . . . I'll assume, everyone else's too. A lil' eye-roll, head-roll, and attitude thrown in to boot. Black women especially - 'I'm sorry I've hurt your feeling, you don't agree, you can't accept the facts or truth but get over it. I kind of care that you don't agree but really I don't.'

no offence, but… (insert insult here)

Oh, come on - you know why people do that.

At the org (especially), you are not allowed to give an opinion without expressly stating that it is "only" your opinion and, in addition, apologizing for said opinion. Otherwise, the perennially thick will accuse you of "making it sound like you're stating a fact," being "mean," or thinking "you're smarter than everyone else." Or all of the above.

It's because we've raised an entire generation to believe that if they are challenged on anything, it's a personal affront. (Of course, sometimes it is - because some also do not understand the difference between a refutation and an ad hominem attack.) Bunch of pussies.

Sorry.

ZombieKitten said:

no offence, but… (insert insult here)

X infinity, u know what I'm talkin' bout...will never forget it either

PANDURITO said:

mordang said:

You need a long holiday.

You should have said:

I'm sorry but you need a long holiday.

Just kidding

Genesia said:

Oh, come on - you know why people do that.

At the org (especially), you are not allowed to give an opinion without expressly stating that it is "only" your opinion and, in addition, apologizing for said opinion. Otherwise, the perennially thick will accuse you of "making it sound like you're stating a fact," being "mean," or thinking "you're smarter than everyone else." Or all of the above.

It's because we've raised an entire generation to believe that if they are challenged on anything, it's a personal affront. (Of course, sometimes it is - because some also do not understand the difference between a refutation and an ad hominem attack.) Bunch of pussies.

Sorry.

You nailed it right there. I also think people just aren't bold enough to say what's on their mind, like the first couple of posters said, and they hide behind it.

.

[Edited 8/8/10 8:45am]

People mainly say that when they're not really sorry at all

I'm sorry, but thinking about such things is a waste of time. You know what people want to state, you know that they say "I'm sorry" to apologise for a statement that may be considered as offending by some.

Genesia said:

Oh, come on - you know why people do that.

At the org (especially), you are not allowed to give an opinion without expressly stating that it is "only" your opinion and, in addition, apologizing for said opinion. Otherwise, the perennially thick will accuse you of "making it sound like you're stating a fact," being "mean," or thinking "you're smarter than everyone else." Or all of the above.

It's because we've raised an entire generation to believe that if they are challenged on anything, it's a personal affront. (Of course, sometimes it is - because some also do not understand the difference between a refutation and an ad hominem attack.) Bunch of pussies.

Sorry.

Remember this post when you read my comment to your "Do You Like My New Shoes?" thread (which, by the way, I edited a little based on the subject of this thread) .

ernestsewell said:

Genesia said:

Oh, come on - you know why people do that.

At the org (especially), you are not allowed to give an opinion without expressly stating that it is "only" your opinion and, in addition, apologizing for said opinion. Otherwise, the perennially thick will accuse you of "making it sound like you're stating a fact," being "mean," or thinking "you're smarter than everyone else." Or all of the above.

It's because we've raised an entire generation to believe that if they are challenged on anything, it's a personal affront. (Of course, sometimes it is - because some also do not understand the difference between a refutation and an ad hominem attack.) Bunch of pussies.

Sorry.

You nailed it right there. I also think people just aren't bold enough to say what's on their mind, like the first couple of posters said, and they hide behind it.

.

Both of you are taking a figure of speech (for some) and making it much deeper than it is.

i dunno, i kinda hate people who congratulate themselves on being arseholes by saying 'i'm just a straight-shooter and people can't deal with it', etc.

whistle said:

i dunno, i kinda hate people who congratulate themselves on being arseholes by saying 'i'm just a straight-shooter and people can't deal with it', etc.

Totally agreed. Even more than that I hate "At least I'm honest".

An honest jerk is still a jerk.

Genesia said:

Oh, come on - you know why people do that.

At the org (especially), you are not allowed to give an opinion without expressly stating that it is "only" your opinion and, in addition, apologizing for said opinion. Otherwise, the perennially thick will accuse you of "making it sound like you're stating a fact," being "mean," or thinking "you're smarter than everyone else." Or all of the above.

It's because we've raised an entire generation to believe that if they are challenged on anything, it's a personal affront. (Of course, sometimes it is - because some also do not understand the difference between a refutation and an ad hominem attack.) Bunch of pussies.

Sorry.

I agree, but sometimes I say I'm sorry because my point I was making was not intended to make the other persons point invalid. Because even if I believe in my stance, sometimes both positions can be right. You know agree to disagree. The I'm sorry is to show compassion to the other person as in you heard their position even if you don't agree with it. You could say it's about not hurting egos-but the same would go for the person who is not saying he is sorry. (Because the person who doesn't say sorry is saying my position is right and my opinion is what matters)

Essentially the I'm sorry means: I don't mean to offend you but this is my opinion.

Now the above statement is not a one size fits all scenerios. Remember, I agree with Genesia. However, sometimes I'm sorry is appropriate.

kewlschool said:

Essentially the I'm sorry means: I don't mean to offend you but this is my opinion.

You just backed up my point, when I said, "Someone once said that 'BUT' in a sentence really means, 'Forget everything I just said, here is what I really mean'."

Genesia said:

kewlschool said:

Genesia said:

Oh, come on - you know why people do that.

At the org (especially), you are not allowed to give an opinion without expressly stating that it is "only" your opinion and, in addition, apologizing for said opinion. Otherwise, the perennially thick will accuse you of "making it sound like you're stating a fact," being "mean," or thinking "you're smarter than everyone else." Or all of the above.

It's because we've raised an entire generation to believe that if they are challenged on anything, it's a personal affront. (Of course, sometimes it is - because some also do not understand the difference between a refutation and an ad hominem attack.) Bunch of pussies.

Sorry.

I agree, but sometimes I say I'm sorry because my point I was making was not intended to make the other persons point invalid. Because even if I believe in my stance, sometimes both positions can be right. You know agree to disagree. The I'm sorry is to show compassion to the other person as in you heard their position even if you don't agree with it. You could say it's about not hurting egos-but the same would go for the person who is not saying he is sorry. (Because the person who doesn't say sorry is saying my position is right and my opinion is what matters)

Essentially the I'm sorry means: I don't mean to offend you but this is my opinion.

Now the above statement is not a one size fits all scenerios. Remember, I agree with Genesia. However, sometimes I'm sorry is appropriate.

Well, duh! This is, in fact, the difference between fact and opinion - a distinction that too few people understand, anymore.

The fact that someone holds an opinion that is different from yours does nothing to diminish your opinion (or, at least, it shouldn't). And the fact that said individual chooses to express a contrary opinion does not (in and of itself) require an apology.

Everything these days is a friggin' fight to the death because nobody understands the concept of an argument. I step on your toe by accident and, if I fail to grovel and apologize profusely, that gives you the right to shoot me in retaliation.

It's ridiculous.

I agree. If you have something to say, why apologize about it? If you have something to say, just come out with it. If someone doesn't like it or agree with it, that's their problem.

ernestsewell said:

kewlschool said:

Essentially the I'm sorry means: I don't mean to offend you but this is my opinion.

You just backed up my point, when I said, "Someone once said that 'BUT' in a sentence really means, 'Forget everything I just said, here is what I really mean'."

I've got a friend who is a NLP teacher, and she has stopped saying BUT because of it's negativity - she substitutes AND

Hahaha...and I just said that in a thread the other day.

I've never put much thought into why I sometimes tend to write/say that, but I'm glad I now know that I'm a just pussy who is afraid to speak their mind.

It depends on why you're saying your opinion. If someone asks what you think of something like 'Is this dress ugly?' then its perfectly acceptable to say I'm sorry in front of the answer if you dont want to offend them but they want an honest opinion. If you are saying something because you want your opinion thrusted out there then yeah, you're not really sorry and shouldn't say so.