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Thread started 07/28/10 8:08pm

TotalANXiousNE
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I know I'm needy and self ubsorbed

I can't help it. Its a flaw I have.

Any way I have on cutoff cotton shorts, yanno so they're strtchy, and I just had to cut two slits in the waist after my chineese food lunctime binge again.

This time it was 12 wontons and general tso's. sad

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #1 posted 07/28/10 8:12pm

BlackAdder7

you're self absorbed too!

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Reply #2 posted 07/28/10 8:13pm

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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what does this have to do with being needy?

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Reply #3 posted 07/28/10 8:14pm

TotalANXiousNE
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I dunno. Don't they go together......? I don't know. lol

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #4 posted 07/28/10 8:14pm

JerseyKRS

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Reply #5 posted 07/28/10 8:15pm

BlackAdder7

CarrieMpls said:

what does this have to do with being needy?

perhaps she's trying to understand why she binged

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Reply #6 posted 07/28/10 8:15pm

TotalANXiousNE
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JerseyKRS said:

sad fit

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #7 posted 07/28/10 8:17pm

TotalANXiousNE
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BlackAdder7 said:

CarrieMpls said:

what does this have to do with being needy?

perhaps she's trying to understand why she binged

I was hungry. neutral

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #8 posted 07/28/10 8:19pm

KatSkrizzle

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Sounds like you are coping in some way. If you are binging on food considered "bad" a lot, then you may want to start sorting your thoughts. I know you are in a delicate state and maybe you see this as an opportunity to go buck wild. But I think you already know giving birth is a very physically challenging thing. Right now, your binges may be self destructive. Also, most women when pregnant can't lean on another vice, like drinking wine, or having a smoke.

Do you wanna talk about it? wink

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Reply #9 posted 07/28/10 8:22pm

Acrylic

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I want a wonton now.

Bitch.

wink

batting eyes ACRYLIC batting eyes
I do nothing professionally.
I only do things for fun.

johnart: Acrylic's old bras is where tits of all sizes go to frolic after they die. Tit Heaven.
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Reply #10 posted 07/28/10 8:24pm

TotalANXiousNE
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KatSkrizzle said:

Sounds like you are coping in some way. If you are binging on food considered "bad" a lot, then you may want to start sorting your thoughts. I know you are in a delicate state and maybe you see this as an opportunity to go buck wild. But I think you already know giving birth is a very physically challenging thing. Right now, your binges may be self destructive. Also, most women when pregnant can't lean on another vice, like drinking wine, or having a smoke.

Do you wanna talk about it? wink

lol

I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm just moody. And I'm very insensitive right now.

For example my bf was in the hospital over the weekend, and he is sick and on all these meds, and I'm being mean to him and telling him he's being a baby and theres nothing wrong with him stop whining. I can't even look at him. I don't know why. And he's being so nice to me.

I'm just a mean person.

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #11 posted 07/28/10 8:25pm

TotalANXiousNE
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Acrylic said:

I want a wonton now.

Bitch.

wink

I ate them all. sigh

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #12 posted 07/28/10 8:29pm

KatSkrizzle

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TotalANXiousNESS said:

KatSkrizzle said:

Sounds like you are coping in some way. If you are binging on food considered "bad" a lot, then you may want to start sorting your thoughts. I know you are in a delicate state and maybe you see this as an opportunity to go buck wild. But I think you already know giving birth is a very physically challenging thing. Right now, your binges may be self destructive. Also, most women when pregnant can't lean on another vice, like drinking wine, or having a smoke.

Do you wanna talk about it? wink

lol

I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm just moody. And I'm very insensitive right now.

For example my bf was in the hospital over the weekend, and he is sick and on all these meds, and I'm being mean to him and telling him he's being a baby and theres nothing wrong with him stop whining. I can't even look at him. I don't know why. And he's being so nice to me.

I'm just a mean person.

Not to me. It seems like right now you are in a fragile state, and he can't be a strong rock for you like you need/want. It sounds like you need someone to carry you for a while, but you can't and you are taking it out on him. It's not his fault, but sounds like you are having a lot of emotions (obviously! lol ) Are you worried? Do you have someone to discuss your worries with?

OK I don't mean to sound like Stuart Smally, but I do! wink

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Reply #13 posted 07/28/10 8:31pm

BklynBabe

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hormones!! nod

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Reply #14 posted 07/28/10 8:38pm

TotalANXiousNE
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KatSkrizzle said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

lol

I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm just moody. And I'm very insensitive right now.

For example my bf was in the hospital over the weekend, and he is sick and on all these meds, and I'm being mean to him and telling him he's being a baby and theres nothing wrong with him stop whining. I can't even look at him. I don't know why. And he's being so nice to me.

I'm just a mean person.

Not to me. It seems like right now you are in a fragile state, and he can't be a strong rock for you like you need/want. It sounds like you need someone to carry you for a while, but you can't and you are taking it out on him. It's not his fault, but sounds like you are having a lot of emotions (obviously! lol ) Are you worried? Do you have someone to discuss your worries with?

OK I don't mean to sound like Stuart Smally, but I do! wink

I'm really worried.

I just feel really uncertain and instable right now.

Like for one I feel stuck. I liked him enough BEFORE I was pregnant, but I don't wanna feel tyed down.

And like, with my ex husband when I was pregnant I owned a house and I know he'd be bringing home a fabulous paycheck every week. Not that money is everything but diapers are expensive and I have two other kids to take care of.

He talks really quite really soft spoken and I can never hear what he's saying and I have to say what all the time.

He's eally thin too. What if I end up outweighing him? I'm 31. What if I don't bounce back like I used to?

He's great with my kids now, what if he starts being nicer to the baby than Noah and Daisy.

I know he's gonna ask me to marry him any time now, and I don't wanna.

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #15 posted 07/28/10 8:44pm

TotalANXiousNE
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On a good note. I just called my house, and he just went and got a store order and picked the kids up at daycare, and was putting the grocerys away, and the kids were whining and fighting and having meltdowns in the background. giggle

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #16 posted 07/28/10 8:58pm

paintedlady

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hmmm You're preggers right? Well, that's just your hormones kicking in... you'll be a mess like this for w while or until you hit the second trimester... that's when you'll start to vomit AFTER binging. It'll all balance itself out.

lol hug

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Reply #17 posted 07/28/10 9:58pm

PunkMistress

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TotalANXiousNESS said:

On a good note. I just called my house, and he just went and got a store order and picked the kids up at daycare, and was putting the grocerys away, and the kids were whining and fighting and having meltdowns in the background. giggle

It's a good thing that the kids were whining and fighting and having meltdowns? confuse

It's what you make it.
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Reply #18 posted 07/28/10 10:02pm

TotalANXiousNE
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PunkMistress said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

On a good note. I just called my house, and he just went and got a store order and picked the kids up at daycare, and was putting the grocerys away, and the kids were whining and fighting and having meltdowns in the background. giggle

It's a good thing that the kids were whining and fighting and having meltdowns? confuse

lol

Nooooo. That I missed it.

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #19 posted 07/28/10 10:34pm

Mach

Ahhh the joys of PREGNANCY ~

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Reply #20 posted 07/28/10 10:38pm

nd33

TotalANXiousNESS said:


I just feel really uncertain and instable right now.


Like for one I feel stuck. I liked him enough BEFORE I was pregnant, but I don't wanna feel tyed down.


And like, with my ex husband when I was pregnant I owned a house and I know he'd be bringing home a fabulous paycheck every week. Not that money is everything but diapers are expensive and I have two other kids to take care of.


He talks really quite really soft spoken and I can never hear what he's saying and I have to say what all the time.


He's eally thin too. What if I end up outweighing him? I'm 31. What if I don't bounce back like I used to?


He's great with my kids now, what if he starts being nicer to the baby than Noah and Daisy.


I know he's gonna ask me to marry him any time now, and I don't wanna.




Hope this doesn't sound harsh, but is it the right time for you to be having another baby? You don't sound like someone that thinks you're in an ideal situation.
I don't know you, but you post here quite alot and I'm pretty sure that it wasn't long ago at all that you were talking about your "new" bf. Perhaps time to take things a bit slower and let life happen to you?
Just some thoughts and observations....

Good luck.
Music, sweet music, I wish I could caress and...kiss, kiss...
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Reply #21 posted 07/29/10 1:49am

KatSkrizzle

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TotalANXiousNESS said:

KatSkrizzle said:

Not to me. It seems like right now you are in a fragile state, and he can't be a strong rock for you like you need/want. It sounds like you need someone to carry you for a while, but you can't and you are taking it out on him. It's not his fault, but sounds like you are having a lot of emotions (obviously! lol ) Are you worried? Do you have someone to discuss your worries with?

OK I don't mean to sound like Stuart Smally, but I do! wink

I'm really worried.

I just feel really uncertain and instable right now.

Like for one I feel stuck. I liked him enough BEFORE I was pregnant, but I don't wanna feel tyed down.

And like, with my ex husband when I was pregnant I owned a house and I know he'd be bringing home a fabulous paycheck every week. Not that money is everything but diapers are expensive and I have two other kids to take care of.

He talks really quite really soft spoken and I can never hear what he's saying and I have to say what all the time.

He's eally thin too. What if I end up outweighing him? I'm 31. What if I don't bounce back like I used to?

He's great with my kids now, what if he starts being nicer to the baby than Noah and Daisy.

I know he's gonna ask me to marry him any time now, and I don't wanna.

Then don't get married. Your hormones may be out of control, but not processing those thoughts would make me be a butthole to him too. If you aren't ready don't force it.

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Reply #22 posted 07/29/10 4:23am

johnart

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BlackAdder7 said:

you're self absorbed too!

And biggggggggggggggg....as a HOUSE. Lawd.

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Reply #23 posted 07/29/10 6:20pm

TotalANXiousNE
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nd33 said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I just feel really uncertain and instable right now.

Like for one I feel stuck. I liked him enough BEFORE I was pregnant, but I don't wanna feel tyed down.

And like, with my ex husband when I was pregnant I owned a house and I know he'd be bringing home a fabulous paycheck every week. Not that money is everything but diapers are expensive and I have two other kids to take care of.

He talks really quite really soft spoken and I can never hear what he's saying and I have to say what all the time.

He's eally thin too. What if I end up outweighing him? I'm 31. What if I don't bounce back like I used to?

He's great with my kids now, what if he starts being nicer to the baby than Noah and Daisy.

I know he's gonna ask me to marry him any time now, and I don't wanna.

Hope this doesn't sound harsh, but is it the right time for you to be having another baby? You don't sound like someone that thinks you're in an ideal situation. I don't know you, but you post here quite alot and I'm pretty sure that it wasn't long ago at all that you were talking about your "new" bf. Perhaps time to take things a bit slower and let life happen to you? Just some thoughts and observations.... Good luck.

It doesn't sound harsh. It's just too late now. lol hug Thanks, none the less.

I've made up my mind though, this is what I'm doing.

Okay, so I've made some bad choices. I have to deal with the consequences.

I am not getting married, and I am giving this guy until the end of august to get a job. If he doesn't have one by then , he has to go. Me and my children will get by just fine. I practically raised Noah and Daisy on my own, I can raise another child on my own as well. I just won't have the funding that I had with the other two. lol

I know it will not be easy and that it is not the ultimate situation but I truely believe taht I can make it work, and make my children happy.

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #24 posted 07/29/10 7:30pm

Ottensen

KatSkrizzle said:

Sounds like you are coping in some way. If you are binging on food considered "bad" a lot, then you may want to start sorting your thoughts. I know you are in a delicate state and maybe you see this as an opportunity to go buck wild. But I think you already know giving birth is a very physically challenging thing. Right now, your binges may be self destructive. Also, most women when pregnant can't lean on another vice, like drinking wine, or having a smoke.

Do you wanna talk about it? wink

When the hell did she announce this??? I've been keeping my trap shut all this time, and I'm thinking, uh oh, that baby wants wontons falloff falloff falloff

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Reply #25 posted 07/29/10 7:33pm

TotalANXiousNE
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Ottensen said:

KatSkrizzle said:

Sounds like you are coping in some way. If you are binging on food considered "bad" a lot, then you may want to start sorting your thoughts. I know you are in a delicate state and maybe you see this as an opportunity to go buck wild. But I think you already know giving birth is a very physically challenging thing. Right now, your binges may be self destructive. Also, most women when pregnant can't lean on another vice, like drinking wine, or having a smoke.

Do you wanna talk about it? wink

When the hell did she announce this??? I've been keeping my trap shut all this time, and I'm thinking, uh oh, that baby wants wontons falloff falloff falloff

giggle hug

http://prince.org/msg/100/340684

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #26 posted 07/29/10 7:37pm

bluesbaby

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shaking my head at all of this.......

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Reply #27 posted 07/29/10 7:40pm

TotalANXiousNE
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bluesbaby said:

shaking my head at all of this.......

I know, I'm not saying it was the wisest most responsible thing to do, by any means. What is done is done though, and I will love a baby no less, no matter how it came to be.

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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Reply #28 posted 07/29/10 7:52pm

bluesbaby

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TotalANXiousNESS said:

bluesbaby said:

shaking my head at all of this.......

I know, I'm not saying it was the wisest most responsible thing to do, by any means. What is done is done though, and I will love a baby no less, no matter how it came to be.

No, I am not talking about the baby--okay, not completely..but have you talked to your man about job hunting? The unemployment rate is huge, and my husband looked for a LONG time...actively searched. You may need to approach this a little differently, because if you just give an ultimatum, and obviously he has at least been doing things for you and your kids, then that could really turn bad...he is still this child's father and you aren't allowed to determine if he is able to be a part of that baby's life, unless he is some freak.........

Not to mention, you could be sued for custody if you do decide to do your self absorbed thing (more than you have been, judging by earlier threads)....he has been on the chopping block since the beginning, and yet you let him live in your house, establish relationships with your children, and good ones, it seems, and now once again everything he does is wrong and you are going to be superwoman because you can........Sit down with him, make sure he is actively searching..talk to him about the baby, what he might want to do as work, etc. GET COUNSELING if you need to, whether you are marrying him or not. Too bad he never had a chance with you...and now you both are permanently connected by a little person who had no say in the matter........Not to mention your other kids..and how they feel about him--their own thoughts, not how "mom says you are..." type feelings.

Not trying to be harsh, but I know it seems that way.

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Reply #29 posted 07/29/10 8:02pm

TotalANXiousNE
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bluesbaby said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I know, I'm not saying it was the wisest most responsible thing to do, by any means. What is done is done though, and I will love a baby no less, no matter how it came to be.

No, I am not talking about the baby--okay, not completely..but have you talked to your man about job hunting? The unemployment rate is huge, and my husband looked for a LONG time...actively searched. You may need to approach this a little differently, because if you just give an ultimatum, and obviously he has at least been doing things for you and your kids, then that could really turn bad...he is still this child's father and you aren't allowed to determine if he is able to be a part of that baby's life, unless he is some freak.........

Not to mention, you could be sued for custody if you do decide to do your self absorbed thing (more than you have been, judging by earlier threads)....he has been on the chopping block since the beginning, and yet you let him live in your house, establish relationships with your children, and good ones, it seems, and now once again everything he does is wrong and you are going to be superwoman because you can........Sit down with him, make sure he is actively searching..talk to him about the baby, what he might want to do as work, etc. GET COUNSELING if you need to, whether you are marrying him or not. Too bad he never had a chance with you...and now you both are permanently connected by a little person who had no say in the matter........Not to mention your other kids..and how they feel about him--their own thoughts, not how "mom says you are..." type feelings.

Not trying to be harsh, but I know it seems that way.

No I hear ya. I can take constructive criticism, and honetly that is why I am here. I feel on one hand that I AM being a mega bitch. Maybe I'm not giving him a chance......out of fear or whatever I dunno.

He has been 'looking into jobs' and he has not been working since January.

By 'looking into jobs' I mean going on line and seeing who is hiring, and then saying 'that is too far, they don't pay enough, or I just don't wanna settle for anything'.

He has no education outside of a highschool diploma, so I'm sorry, but those are the kinds of jobs available to you.

There are PLENTY of places hiring around here for 13 dollars and hour. They're all labor jobs, but they're OUT THERE. He just doesn't want to do that.

He hasn't even put any applications in.

So I mean, what does this all look like????

It's getting pretty damn scary, cuz to me, it looks like he just doesn't wanna work.

And I'm not his Momma.

I've reached in darkness and come out with treasure
I layed down with love and I woke up with lies
Whats it all worth only the heart can measure
It's not whats in the mirror but what's left inside
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