A straight female friend of mine posed this question to me yesterday. Why is it if a man sleeps with a lot of women over his lifetime and says he had one experience with one man, we (society) will label him a closeted gay who's in denial, even though he says he's straight? However, if a woman sleeps with both men and women on a regular basis, and says she likes them both but prefers women more, society is such much more reluctant to place the gay/lesbian label on her? At the very worst, we will call her bi-sexual but if she claims she's straight, people are generally willing to accept that. Why is it so much more acceptable for women to fully explore their sexuality without people wanting to place an orientation label on them? It's just really strange and bewildering.

because people are ignorant to human sexuality.

and unfortunately, once a man sexuality is in question, or if he had ONE experience, people can't let it go or accept it for just what it is. with women i think it has a lot to do with media, and the "lesbian chic" as i've heard it referred to. it seems as if most men get off on the thought of two women, so it makes it ok. but for a man to explore his sexuality, be curious, or have one experience is against the laws of nature apparently. it even goes beyond sexual experience. a male who can sew, is very clean, is a singer, dancer, actor, writer, just about anything creative, their sexuality eventually comes into question. LOL. so yes there is a double standard. it's sad, but i think it says a lot more about their sexuality than the guy who had one experience and is secure in his own.

if it was a question of love, emotions, something deeper than just sex, then that might be a different story. but even then, who cares? and getting off is getting off. doesn't matter whose hole you're using. well, as long as it's within appropriate age range and your same species.

then there are those who just want EVERYBODY to be gay.... everyone inhollywood... gay, if they find someone cute..... gay, if someone says hello....gay. so basically. people are stupid.

the whole world is bisexual, end of story

alphastreet said:

the whole world is bisexual, end of story

Because are judgemental narow-minded idiots. Also, a person who lets society dictate who they are is an idiot, too.

Read this and buy the book... this gave me one of the biggest "Aha!" moments of my life...

Article:

Sex at Dawn

Book:

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality [Hardcover]

.

[Edited 7/23/10 5:55am]

I like.

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fuck everything

Vendetta1 said:

Because are judgemental narow-minded idiots. Also, a person who lets society dictate who they are is an idiot, too.

Most women do not believe a man can like both. Even ones who have been around gay, bi, and transgender people for long periods don't believe it.

They hold the same view of women as well. Both gravitate to like men in the end according to most.

I'm only speaking about an American attitude as I know it though. Here in Thailand, sexuality is a fluid thing in a lot of respects. A man can mess around with guys throughout his 20s (sometimes exclusively), and then end up marrying a woman and settling down in the end.

Or a man can go back and forth between guys and girls, and end up with a girl in the end.

There are more bi-sexual women here too, but they seem to gravitate towards men in the end too.

I'm still trying to pin down the overall view of sexuality here--it's a bit confusing.

In the states, all I know is if I want pussy, I don't dare mention past conquests with dick.

Vendetta1 said:

Because are judgemental narow-minded idiots. Also, a person who lets society dictate who they are is an idiot, too.

I don't believe for one second that most men aren't attracted to other men.

Just like most girls find other women attractive.

I think most men (I'm talking about "straight" men) won't admit it because of the way society is.

alphastreet said:

the whole world is bisexual, end of story

Speak for yourself. I'm a straight male.

I think that alot of the world is bisexual, whether admittedly or not.

I think that the remaining percentage is at the very least bi-curious.

I don't care WHO you say you're attracted to, everyone's wondered what it would be like to have sex with the same sex, and if you say you haven't, I think you're a damned liar and a fool.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I don't believe for one second that most men aren't attracted to other men.

Just like most girls find other women attractive.

I think most men (I'm talking about "straight" men) won't admit it because of the way society is.

I think most straight men can be platonically (if I can make that a word) attracted to other men, sure, but that doesn't mean it's in a sexual way.

I don't find other women attractive in that way. I can appreciate their style or personality or just find them all out awesome, but I don't want to, say, kiss them.

kitbradley said:

A straight female friend of mine posed this question to me yesterday. Why is it if a man sleeps with a lot of women over his lifetime and says he had one experience with one man, we (society) will label him a closeted gay who's in denial, even though he says he's straight? However, if a woman sleeps with both men and women on a regular basis, and says she likes them both but prefers women more, society is such much more reluctant to place the gay/lesbian label on her? At the very worst, we will call her bi-sexual but if she claims she's straight, people are generally willing to accept that. Why is it so much more acceptable for women to fully explore their sexuality without people wanting to place an orientation label on them? It's just really strange and bewildering.

I guess if she's honest enough to admit that she's slept with both women and men on a regular basis, the assumption is that she's comfortable with/more accepting of a bi-sexual label.

The man on the other hand will be looked at suspiciously, and the assumption is that he's lying about the amount of men he has slept with, so he's a gay dude in denial.

There is a double standard when it comes to women's sexuality in every regard. I'm a straight male who doesn't understand the "slut/whore" lable placed on women who have no qualms about sleeping with as many men as they desire, yet men are toasted and idolized for sleeping with as many women as we possibly can. I don't think anyone should be criticized for having a healthy libido and seeking partners who can "keep up".

ITA with the poster that said the media thinks that lesbians are cool now, so that's what they're focused on. However, the REALITY is different. In real life, people have different opinions about this issue. I don't care if the person is male or female, if they're having same gender sex, they aren't straight, period. I'm sure other people don't have the same opinion. I believe that those types of people claim to be straight because of the stigma that is placed on homosexuals and bi-sexuals, so they don't come out. Usually, they are forced out of the closet when they get "caught out there," or someone outs them. Then they finally admit that they've always had "those feelings" ever since they can remember.

[Edited 7/23/10 13:17pm]

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Number23 said:

I always liked the jarring dictomy of being the angel faced boy girl space creature with the mouth of a drunk docker. i can't really pull off the androgony thing anymore due to my age, but I prefered looking feminine over masculine. It was quite empowering, in a weird way. Suicide's really the only viable option now as all thst awaits are resentful children, a bored wife, baggy eyes and a fat belly. i want people to remember me at my physical peak, not broken and pitiable. UGh, pity. I'd rather someone stabbed me in the balls than pity me.

Man, I can so relate to this.

I'm laughing at the dudes saying they are 100% straight and yet they are posting on a lavender-colored Prince fansite.

Sexual double standards are fun....oh wait...that's sexual double penetration.

Never mind.

Pr1nceQuik said:

Funny how some gays or bi's here are tryna make out how the whole world is gay to justify themselves. Dont generalise!!! Just cuz ur bi curious dont try say every other straight male like me is curious of banging another guy......disgusting!!!!!!

you're cute when you're angry.

Pr1nceQuik said:

I'm not angry...i just think its wrong to generalise and think male is attracted other men just because they are. I have no problems with gay people at all, and im comfortable in my sexuality to say another guy is good looking or not. but to say attracted? Hell naw!

whatever you say, mate. aren't you the one who started the 'is anyone here gay' thread?

...

whistle said:

you seem a little more uptight than you're letting on, but i'll take you for your word.

PunkMistress said:

fuck fuck fuck

fuck everything