am i the only one who love life but seriously wish life was like a movie u could rewrite yours i wake up regretting and i dont want 2 b that way im not in the state i wanna live in im not on the job i wanna be working and im just unhappy 4 the moment i guess

I totally wish I could go back in time and rewrite mine .

Who needs a rewrite? Identify the obstacles that may be blocking the desired outcomes of future chapters -- and knock those $!@#%es down one by one.

Lammastide said:

Who needs a rewrite? Identify the obstacles that may be blocking the desired outcomes of future chapters -- and knock those $!@#%es down one by one.

I would need one. My life was pretty much as I wanted it to be and I just wish I could have that back.

Serious said:

Lammastide said:

Who needs a rewrite? Identify the obstacles that may be blocking the desired outcomes of future chapters -- and knock those $!@#%es down one by one.

I would need one. My life was pretty much as I wanted it to be and I just wish I could have that back.

But is it too late to make the better of certain shoddy decisions?

Lammastide said:

Serious said:

I would need one. My life was pretty much as I wanted it to be and I just wish I could have that back.

But is it too late to make the better of certain shoddy decisions?

Thank you . I don't even see it as a shoddy decision by me so much. Of course I could have handled it better, but it was more having been at the wrong place at the wrong time. After that I had the feeling there was no more getting out of it again no matter what I do without totally being heart-broken . I am trying to make the best out of it right now, but it's not exactly working. So I wish I could just turn back time .

Serious said:

Lammastide said:

But is it too late to make the better of certain shoddy decisions?

Thank you . I don't even see it as a shoddy decision by me so much. Of course I could have handled it better, but it was more having been at the wrong place at the wrong time. After that I had the feeling there was no more getting out of it again no matter what I do without totally being heart-broken . I am trying to make the best out of it right now, but it's not exactly working. So I wish I could just turn back time .

What's worse though; to suffer through a terrible heart break on the path to a better life or to remain in a state of unhappiness indefinitely? Of course I have no clue what your exact circumstances are but it's usually not a good sign when one feels prevented from making changes one deep down knows are necessary out of fear of how it may or may not feel to make them.

And please remember that no matter how much we'd like it sometimes, life does not have a rewind button. It can be very destructive to wish for impossible things like that, especially since it distracts us away from all the countless avenues that are not impossible.

I find that the best way to proceed is to first try to eliminate destructive habits or patterns. Only then can you start taking one small step at a time toward your goals. Easier said than done, I know, but hey - so is pretty much everything else.

retina said:

Easier said than done, I know, but hey - so is pretty much everything else.

...except onomatopoeia!

Hi retina.

PunkMistress said:

retina said:

Easier said than done, I know, but hey - so is pretty much everything else.

...except onomatopoeia!

Hi retina.

Now you've disproved my whole line of reasoning. Thanks a bunch.

retina said:

PunkMistress said:

...except onomatopoeia!

Hi retina.

Now you've disproved my whole line of reasoning. Thanks a bunch.

*click*

*clack*

*sorry*

retina said:

Serious said:

Thank you . I don't even see it as a shoddy decision by me so much. Of course I could have handled it better, but it was more having been at the wrong place at the wrong time. After that I had the feeling there was no more getting out of it again no matter what I do without totally being heart-broken . I am trying to make the best out of it right now, but it's not exactly working. So I wish I could just turn back time .

What's worse though; to suffer through a terrible heart break on the path to a better life or to remain in a state of unhappiness indefinitely? Of course I have no clue what your exact circumstances are but it's usually not a good sign when one feels prevented from making changes one deep down knows are necessary out of fear of how it may or may not feel to make them.

And please remember that no matter how much we'd like it sometimes, life does not have a rewind button. It can be very destructive to wish for impossible things like that, especially since it distracts us away from all the countless avenues that are not impossible.

I find that the best way to proceed is to first try to eliminate destructive habits or patterns. Only then can you start taking one small step at a time toward your goals. Easier said than done, I know, but hey - so is pretty much everything else.

Thanks for your input .

Well I was happy, changes were made and now I am unhappy and heart-broken and I don't think the way I am going will make me happy in the long run. But it is the only way I can go right now, so I just hope that against all odds things will turn out right . And my goals are pretty destructive, that's one of the problems . And I try to look in the future and to do what's necessary to find happiness again, but it's a damn tough road and everything I could wish for would not be as beautiful as what I once had .

PunkMistress said:

retina said:

Easier said than done, I know, but hey - so is pretty much everything else.

...except onomatopoeia!

Hi retina.

I had to look that up in the English-German dictionary .

Serious said:

retina said:

What's worse though; to suffer through a terrible heart break on the path to a better life or to remain in a state of unhappiness indefinitely? Of course I have no clue what your exact circumstances are but it's usually not a good sign when one feels prevented from making changes one deep down knows are necessary out of fear of how it may or may not feel to make them.

And please remember that no matter how much we'd like it sometimes, life does not have a rewind button. It can be very destructive to wish for impossible things like that, especially since it distracts us away from all the countless avenues that are not impossible.

I find that the best way to proceed is to first try to eliminate destructive habits or patterns. Only then can you start taking one small step at a time toward your goals. Easier said than done, I know, but hey - so is pretty much everything else.

Thanks for your input .

Well I was happy, changes were made and now I am unhappy and heart-broken and I don't think the way I am going will make me happy in the long run. But it is the only way I can go right now, so I just hope that against all odds things will turn out right . And my goals are pretty destructive, that's one of the problems . And I try to look in the future and to do what's necessary to find happiness again, but it's a damn tough road and everything I could wish for would not be as beautiful as what I once had .

Even your goals are destructive? Dang... May I suggest you change them then? lol

As for not being able to change your current situation, I can understand that if people you care about depend on the situation staying the same. It does bring to mind the dilemma of parents who hate each other but stick together for the kids' sake though. Does having constant tension in the family really benefit the kids? That's what the parents have to ask themselves in a case like that. Maybe you're in a similar predicament? If not - and it's mostly just your own well-being that's on the line - then I'd recommend biting the bullet and making changes anyway, no matter how hard or "impossible" it feels right now.

retina said:

Serious said:

Thanks for your input .

Well I was happy, changes were made and now I am unhappy and heart-broken and I don't think the way I am going will make me happy in the long run. But it is the only way I can go right now, so I just hope that against all odds things will turn out right . And my goals are pretty destructive, that's one of the problems . And I try to look in the future and to do what's necessary to find happiness again, but it's a damn tough road and everything I could wish for would not be as beautiful as what I once had .

Even your goals are destructive? Dang... May I suggest you change them then? lol

As for not being able to change your current situation, I can understand that if people you care about depend on the situation staying the same. It does bring to mind the dilemma of parents who hate each other but stick together for the kids' sake though. Does having constant tension in the family really benefit the kids? That's what the parents have to ask themselves in a case like that. Maybe you're in a similar predicament? If not - and it's mostly just your own well-being that's on the line - then I'd recommend biting the bullet and making changes anyway, no matter how hard or "impossible" it feels right now.

But these are the only goals I have .

I just complety changed my whole life and no I am not in the situation you describe.

My bf of 17 years left me and I am extremly heart-broken about that . I miss him so very much, we were really happy together and I thought it would be forever . I am in a pretty new relationship with a man who I love like crazy, but we just don't match at all, neither personality wise, what we enjoy doing or when it comes to background. We love each other so much, but we don't have anything in common at all and drive each other crazy all the time. A complete amour fou . And he lives at the other end of the world and I haven't see him since February . Because of visas (the main problem probably, because Austria is ridiculously strict when it comes to visas ), my aparment situation, me needing to find a job, money, him getting through a divorce and having 2 small children and all sorts of other problems everything is not easy at all and I am very afraid we won't be able to overcome all these obstacles and make each other totally unhappy in the future no matter how much we love each other .

Serious said:

retina said:

Even your goals are destructive? Dang... May I suggest you change them then? lol

As for not being able to change your current situation, I can understand that if people you care about depend on the situation staying the same. It does bring to mind the dilemma of parents who hate each other but stick together for the kids' sake though. Does having constant tension in the family really benefit the kids? That's what the parents have to ask themselves in a case like that. Maybe you're in a similar predicament? If not - and it's mostly just your own well-being that's on the line - then I'd recommend biting the bullet and making changes anyway, no matter how hard or "impossible" it feels right now.

But these are the only goals I have .

I just complety changed my whole life and no I am not in the situation you describe.

My bf of 17 years left me and I am extremly heart-broken about that . I miss him so very much, we were really happy together and I thought it would be forever . I am in a pretty new relationship with a man who I love like crazy, but we just don't match at all, neither personality wise, what we enjoy doing or when it comes to background. We love each other so much, but we don't have anything in common at all and drive each other crazy all the time. A complete amour fou . And he lives at the other end of the world and I haven't see him since February . Because of visas (the main problem probably, because Austria is ridiculously strict when it comes to visas ), my aparment situation, me needing to find a job, money, him getting through a divorce and having 2 small children and all sorts of other problems everything is not easy at all and I am very afraid we won't be able to overcome all these obstacles and make each other totally unhappy in the future no matter how much we love each other .

You love him but are you really in love? I find that hard to believe if your personalities clash as much as you say.

If you do truly love him and are in love too and feel like you have a reasonable chance of making it work, can't you move to him instead of the other way around? It seems easier, especially since he has kids there. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll feel like you tried properly and that would make it easier to move on. Don't worry too much about the potential heartbreak like I said before. It's better to make hard but inevtitable changes than to hold back and end up in limbo. It might sound harsh, but it's the practical approach and matters of the heart need that more often than we might think.

retina said:

Serious said:

But these are the only goals I have .

I just complety changed my whole life and no I am not in the situation you describe.

My bf of 17 years left me and I am extremly heart-broken about that . I miss him so very much, we were really happy together and I thought it would be forever . I am in a pretty new relationship with a man who I love like crazy, but we just don't match at all, neither personality wise, what we enjoy doing or when it comes to background. We love each other so much, but we don't have anything in common at all and drive each other crazy all the time. A complete amour fou . And he lives at the other end of the world and I haven't see him since February . Because of visas (the main problem probably, because Austria is ridiculously strict when it comes to visas ), my aparment situation, me needing to find a job, money, him getting through a divorce and having 2 small children and all sorts of other problems everything is not easy at all and I am very afraid we won't be able to overcome all these obstacles and make each other totally unhappy in the future no matter how much we love each other .

You love him but are you really in love? I find that hard to believe if your personalities clash as much as you say.

If you do truly love him and are in love too and feel like you have a reasonable chance of making it work, can't you move to him instead of the other way around? It seems easier, especially since he has kids there. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll feel like you tried properly and that would make it easier to move on. Don't worry too much about the potential heartbreak like I said before. It's better to make hard but inevtitable changes than to hold back and end up in limbo. It might sound harsh, but it's the practical approach and matters of the heart need that more often than we might think.

I am in love with him since the first second I saw him. I have never be in love with anybody so much. If I woudln't have been in a happy relationship back then I would have married him that very day if he had asked me . But yes we clash all the time and we both said that maybe one day we wil kill each other .

He doesn't have his kids there, his kids are in Germany which makes everything even more complicated. His wife is German and returned to Germany and he hasn't seen his kids for about a year .

It would be pretty insane to move to his country for good. I live a rented apartment here that is nice and extremely cheap and I loose it if I am not living here at least 6 months a year. I could never ever find an apartment like that again if I would want to return to Austria with or without him. He is 8 years younger than I am and usually interested in women who are way younger than I am, so I need to still have a home in case we would not make it. His country has a very, very high crime rate which is getting higher all the time, in fact his nephew was shot dead just 3 weeks ago . It's so beautiful there, but I don't know if it might become too dangerous to live there in some years and in a way my bf is happy that his daughters are living in Germany where they are much safer. My bf lives in the middle of the tropical rain forest and I doubt I could find a job in the fishing village nearby. The next bigger city is 2 1/2 hours away by car. He has a shop for tourists there and can make some money especially now that I helped him to organize it better, but not enough for both of us to live of it, pay for flights and all my costs back home. He could hardly find a job here. My dream would be to live half the year there and half a year here, maybe try to find a seasonal job here or something like that. But I doubt that will work, I didn't find any job at all in the last months when I was looking for one . My bf would probably only be allowed to come to Austria if we are married, if I have a permanent good-earning job (there is a certain income you need to have) and if he lives here at least 10 months a year (which means he cannot make much money with his job anymore) and passes German tests within 2 years.

Still my main problem right now is to not be too hurt and sad all the time that my ex-bf is no longer with me . But of course it is not exactly helpful that I cannot see my bf for months .

But don't worry I am very willing to try my best to make it work and find a way. Right now my plan is to return to see him as soon as I am allowed to enter the country again and spend some more months with him and then try to find a job and make some money here as soon as I am back.

[Edited 7/10/10 10:53am]

I have a few regrets, but for the most part am really satisfied. I have had ups and downs, regrets, struggles, and really bad relationships. But I have realized that it has really molded me and created who I am now.

My professional life became my LIFE for 8 years and I became totally caught up. When your professional life is a hobby turned career, lovers turned enemies, and trusted mentors turned traitors, life becomes really comlicated. I walked away and slipped into a depression. But I am so personally HAPPY that at this point it was so worth it.