I have a really good friend that lives 4 hours away in Charlotte, NC. She works in wardrobe for a lot of movies. The majority of those movies are filmed here in Atlanta. She had been staying with a friend for a year or so but I invited her to stay at my place. She was only staying a few days at a time every couple of weeks, so it was no big.

Now there is an opportunity for her to stay working on films all the time here. She refuses to move from Charlotte. Anyway she had been working on Quarantine II and the producers were cheap and didn't pay for hotel. I had a roomate for 4 months. It was a pain in the ass.

She gave me some $$ she's very polite and stays out of our hair. But it's having a guest all the time. I mean she could be a butthole and be a slob and use up my shit but she doesn't she is for the most part a good guest.

She FINALLY left last week. She called me this week. Fast and Furious part 6000 is starting production out here. I told her no you can't stay here this time. I think I hurt her feelings. I don't feel bad but sometimes I do. I don't want her to be upset with me. But damn, my man and i haven't humped all over the house in MONTHS! It's not that she's a pain in the ass, it's just having a person there ALL THE TIME.

Had to get that off my chest.

Shame on your FRIEND! Not that you need to explain it to her but I would tell her 4 months was to long, you didnt want another roommate... Even tho she was a polite guest, 3 is to many people for that long of a period..

Sounds to me like she is using and taking advantage of you whether she knows it or not... Shes a grown ass woman with a job that requires her to travel.. She needs to be prepared to pay for her accomodations..

I agree.

Don't feel bad.

It sounds like it's time for her to get an apartment in Atlanta for her extended stays. After paying rent for a while, she'll realize it's more economically sound for her to just move there.

yea do not feel bad...she can find her own place.

shake it off and feel free to hump around in front of your guests...

Devil's Advocacy provided at no additional charge!

No need to feel bad

and if she chooses to take issue that's really on her ... staying with someone on a consistant basis and for lengths of time is not the norm so ... she'll work something out for herself

No need to feel bad. You need time to preserve your happy home. Here's the skinny on what your friend could do as an alternative:

Frankly, she's making enough to be able to afford a corporate or furnished efficiency apartment if she's not the assistant stylist/costume designer...and hell, even if she was the assistant, the money is still good enough for her to be independent if its a 4 month long gig; even a MONTH is going to bring her big enough dough for that.

That being said, she needs to poke around and check with the production company handling this project to see if they can hook her up or at least give her a lead on place where she can stay at production rate from the company. If she's not an indie stylist/costume designer, her management artist rep can handle this easily for her. If she's indie, then again go through the production company via the nearest production coordinator. If she's a newbie to this crowd she's working with or the assistant, then she needs to make friends with a PA or office coordinator fast so they can hook her up. In the end, the production comapny wouldn't mind anyway because for whatever the production office book or arrange, discounted or otherwise, they will get to charge the studio a 15-20% service charge on the final bill for it.

Tell your girl to get some balls and ask for her accomodation stipend. If she's already booked, I doubt she'll lose the job (they'd be forced to hire someone from Atlanta at a higher day rate). It's a mainstream release from UNIVERSAL PICTURES. They have the money in the budget for this.

She'll manage just fine, because Atlanta is large and production friendly and she will easily find an option.but she has to get off her duff and demand what she's worth, or just eat the cost of putting her own roof over her head, which is tax-deductible for her occupation (either under meals, travel & entetainment, or "moving costs for work" (which the minimum requirement is 100 miles).

I agree with everyone else, you shouldn't feel bad at all. In fact I commend you for putting your foot down and telling her that her ass couldn't stay with you anymore. If she's making good money on these jobs then she can afford an apartment there if she doesn't want to move from Charlotte. You have to do what you have to, to make your house a happy home. If she's a true friend, she'll understand or if she's a little ticked off, then she'll get over it in due time.

'

[Edited 10/22/10 7:18am]

You did the right thing, sometimes its hard for a friend to hear the word no, but if she's a real friend, she will accept the NO without resentment.

and ditto to what everyone else said...except Ren. Girlfriends should never see what your man is working with.

Don't feel bad. Privacy is golden. We cherish ours.

We've had my mother in law's soon-to-be-ex husband (I know, I know... it's like a comedy of errors so don't ask ) living with us for a few months now. He's a great guy actually, and we live together quite well, but there's no running round the house in our undies or poppin in a porn whenever the mood strikes anymore. Seems like such silly things to miss.

He needs to be in this area for at least a few more years for work so we're gonna look for a house that acommodates for a studio apt/area for him and rest of the house for us.

Don't feel bad at all! She should have wised up a long time ago! Hey sometimes I wish my kids would move out for privacy sake, let alone a friend. sheeeshhhhhh!

One of my friends was going through a divorce.

I had only been in my house about 6 months, when she started hinting about coming to live with me. (I have 3 bedrooms).

Oh HELL NO!

I'm sorry she was going thru something, but I waited my whole life to have my own home, and I wasn't letting her move in with a 6-year-old who never stops talking! I love them both, but not enough to live with them.

KatSkrizzle said:

I have a really good friend that lives 4 hours away in Charlotte, NC. She works in wardrobe for a lot of movies. The majority of those movies are filmed here in Atlanta. She had been staying with a friend for a year or so but I invited her to stay at my place. She was only staying a few days at a time every couple of weeks, so it was no big.

Now there is an opportunity for her to stay working on films all the time here. She refuses to move from Charlotte. Anyway she had been working on Quarantine II and the producers were cheap and didn't pay for hotel. I had a roomate for 4 months. It was a pain in the ass.

She gave me some $$ she's very polite and stays out of our hair. But it's having a guest all the time. I mean she could be a butthole and be a slob and use up my shit but she doesn't she is for the most part a good guest.

She FINALLY left last week. She called me this week. Fast and Furious part 6000 is starting production out here. I told her no you can't stay here this time. I think I hurt her feelings. I don't feel bad but sometimes I do. I don't want her to be upset with me. But damn, my man and i haven't humped all over the house in MONTHS! It's not that she's a pain in the ass, it's just having a person there ALL THE TIME.

Had to get that off my chest.

I hear ya, don't feel bad at.all. I know, easier said than done. But really. It's hard to have company for a week let alone weeks at a time.

She can get a hotel.

Yeah, I know about accommodating friends who are going through divorce. I did that for a girlfriend, too. I finally had to ask her to leave when she started bringing home men she'd just met at a club. And when she started helping herself to my accessories, like a purse I had never used. Next think I know it was looking like crap. She had never even asked me if she could use it. Plus she was a vegetarian and expected me to cook things she could eat. One day I fooled her ass. I cooked some cabbage fried in bacon grease. Girlfriend scarfed like there was no tomorrow. I didn't say shit. Hell, she was hongry!

Shyra said:

Yeah, I know about accommodating friends who are going through divorce. I did that for a girlfriend, too. I finally had to ask her to leave when she started bringing home men she'd just met at a club. And when she started helping herself to my accessories, like a purse I had never used. Next think I know it was looking like crap. She had never even asked me if she could use it. Plus she was a vegetarian and expected me to cook things she could eat. One day I fooled her ass. I cooked some cabbage fried in bacon grease. Girlfriend scarfed like there was no tomorrow. I didn't say shit. Hell, she was hongry!

that's when a bitch gotta go. :gosleepinyourcar:

*hugs*

Sometimes we have to put our foot down. Even when it comes to good pals. She's a grown lady (shoot I want her job!! ) and indeed it's time for her to find her own digs. Hopefully she will understand this and not take it too seriously. Maybe you just have a fab pad We have an old fam friend like that who has this AMAZING house. We don't wear out our welcome...but um...she's got this super soft bed that is soooo orgasmic... and she has a wet bar with a big ol' snack nook...

RenHoek said:

shake it off and feel free to hump around in front of your guests...

Devil's Advocacy provided at no additional charge!

I got pretty liberal with the pda after a while. I think she got the hint by that point!

Ottensen said:

No need to feel bad. You need time to preserve your happy home. Here's the skinny on what your friend could do as an alternative:

Frankly, she's making enough to be able to afford a corporate or furnished efficiency apartment if she's not the assistant stylist/costume designer...and hell, even if she was the assistant, the money is still good enough for her to be independent if its a 4 month long gig; even a MONTH is going to bring her big enough dough for that.

That being said, she needs to poke around and check with the production company handling this project to see if they can hook her up or at least give her a lead on place where she can stay at production rate from the company. If she's not an indie stylist/costume designer, her management artist rep can handle this easily for her. If she's indie, then again go through the production company via the nearest production coordinator. If she's a newbie to this crowd she's working with or the assistant, then she needs to make friends with a PA or office coordinator fast so they can hook her up. In the end, the production comapny wouldn't mind anyway because for whatever the production office book or arrange, discounted or otherwise, they will get to charge the studio a 15-20% service charge on the final bill for it.

Tell your girl to get some balls and ask for her accomodation stipend. If she's already booked, I doubt she'll lose the job (they'd be forced to hire someone from Atlanta at a higher day rate). It's a mainstream release from UNIVERSAL PICTURES. They have the money in the budget for this.

She'll manage just fine, because Atlanta is large and production friendly and she will easily find an option.but she has to get off her duff and demand what she's worth, or just eat the cost of putting her own roof over her head, which is tax-deductible for her occupation (either under meals, travel & entetainment, or "moving costs for work" (which the minimum requirement is 100 miles).

REALLY good to know! She's been doing the indie circuit for two years and I've noticed the projects get bigger every time. The producer of the last movie only paid for m-f hotel and stayed with us on weekends.

I told her to find a cheap spot here and keep some things at her parents house and keep a permanent residence there. I would HATE to live out of a suitcase 10 months out of ther year. She's hard headed and my man says wht I'm doing is for her own good. She's like a little sister to us.

My former mother in law lived with us 9 months at one point (and months at a time at various other points totaling about 2 and a half years).

The last and longest time ended with the two of us cursing at each other and her subsequently being evicted from the hall closet I allowed her the privilege of sleeping in. Seriously.

We get along okay now though, even after I divorced her daughter.