Yeah, he lives with me. No not since the lay off, he was layed off when I met him.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Yeah, he lives with me. No not since the lay off, he was layed off when I met him.

Shorty said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Yeah, he lives with me. No not since the lay off, he was layed off when I met him.

how long you guys been together?

I dunno. Since the beginning of April.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Shorty said:

how long you guys been together?

I dunno. Since the beginning of April.

Shorty said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I dunno. Since the beginning of April.

whoa...yeah that's new. I don't think it's gonna work out. just my feeling. I mean no disrespect at all but it seems you know this too, he's not picking up on your cues, he's not the way you wish your guy to be and you're only 3 months in. That is him, he will not get any better, you will not change him. That's probably why you were so bitchy. I mean what guy in his right mind has a beautiful women (you) saying I'm going to bed and I want to have sex does he not drop what he's doing to go get some..and never even goes up later to get some. ??? STRANGE ??? and no he's not a mind reader but....when you see someone working hard at something...you should always ask if they would like some help. that's just common courtesy in my book. he sounds lousey.

Thanks Shorty, I see what your saying cuz that was how I felt initially. But I think it was all just a big misunderstanding.

computer/video games turn men (and their sons) into morons

I see it happening here on a daily basis.

I could move out and nobody would notice!!!

Shorty said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

I dunno. Since the beginning of April.

whoa...yeah that's new. I don't think it's gonna work out. just my feeling. I mean no disrespect at all but it seems you know this too, he's not picking up on your cues, he's not the way you wish your guy to be and you're only 3 months in. That is him, he will not get any better, you will not change him. That's probably why you were so bitchy. I mean what guy in his right mind has a beautiful women (you) saying I'm going to bed and I want to have sex does he not drop what he's doing to go get some..and never even goes up later to get some. ??? STRANGE ??? and no he's not a mind reader but....when you see someone working hard at something...you should always ask if they would like some help. that's just common courtesy in my book. he sounds lousey.

I agree with this comment. I do think your behavior was a little irrational though. Especially because you do have children and they do learn acceptable and unacceptable behaviors from their parents.

That said, I think you need to tell this guy exactly how you feel and hear what he has to say. Because like Shorty said, I have the feeling that he's just one of those guys that knows very well how to "play you." Some guys swear they are not "clean" freaks and that mess doesn't bother them just because they know that if they wait long enough, you will get annoyed and will end up cleaning the mess. They claim they are not "mind readers" just because if they pretend they don't know what you want, then they make you feel you are bitchy and irrational when you finally go off!

Seriously, what kind of man spends most of the day sitting in his ass, watching TV, and playing video games and doesn't "get" that you might need help when you are the one busting her ass all day working and cleaning? He's either, REALLY clueless or he's playing dumb and doesn't give a shit. Why would you need to spell it out for him? Girl think about it! You need a man not another child!

PunkMistress said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

2 things.

1 - I can't stand that men are allowed to be retards in the name of not being mind readers. If you're with someone you know what they want and don't want. Don't laze out because you have balls.

2 - You need to find a different outlet than obsessive compulsive behavior because some of this sound a little manic

I don't have testicles, but guess what? I'm not a mind reader, and I'm in a situation with a close friend right now over this very same concept. Getting pissy without telling anyone what's wrong is a poor way of handling yourself. In the case of my friend, I really had no idea what was bothering her, and if I had known, I would have tried to make it right. But I wasn't given a chance to.

Just because I love someone and know them well does not mean I know all their wants, needs, thoughts and feelings unless they TELL ME.

Yes! This is a big gripe of mine in relationships/friendships. I've had a few friends blow up on me out of nowhere (to me anyway) b/c they kept quiet about some of my behavior that was bothering them until the resentment exploded out of them. If someone is repeatedly doing something you don't like it's not necesarily true that they know it's wrong/annoying/rude but they don't care or they know they can get away with it. Most of the time, they really DON'T KNOW/NOTICE. I can't correct it if you don't tell me. And it's unfair not to give me a chance in the first place.

PurpleRighteous1 said:

PunkMistress said:

I don't have testicles, but guess what? I'm not a mind reader, and I'm in a situation with a close friend right now over this very same concept. Getting pissy without telling anyone what's wrong is a poor way of handling yourself. In the case of my friend, I really had no idea what was bothering her, and if I had known, I would have tried to make it right. But I wasn't given a chance to.

Just because I love someone and know them well does not mean I know all their wants, needs, thoughts and feelings unless they TELL ME.

Yes! This is a big gripe of mine in relationships/friendships. I've had a few friends blow up on me out of nowhere (to me anyway) b/c they kept quiet about some of my behavior that was bothering them until the resentment exploded out of them. If someone is repeatedly doing something you don't like it's not necesarily true that they know it's wrong/annoying/rude but they don't care or they know they can get away with it. Most of the time, they really DON'T KNOW/NOTICE. I can't correct it if you don't tell me. And it's unfair not to give me a chance in the first place.

PurpleRighteous1 said:

PunkMistress said:

I don't have testicles, but guess what? I'm not a mind reader, and I'm in a situation with a close friend right now over this very same concept. Getting pissy without telling anyone what's wrong is a poor way of handling yourself. In the case of my friend, I really had no idea what was bothering her, and if I had known, I would have tried to make it right. But I wasn't given a chance to.

Just because I love someone and know them well does not mean I know all their wants, needs, thoughts and feelings unless they TELL ME.

Yes! This is a big gripe of mine in relationships/friendships. I've had a few friends blow up on me out of nowhere (to me anyway) b/c they kept quiet about some of my behavior that was bothering them until the resentment exploded out of them. If someone is repeatedly doing something you don't like it's not necesarily true that they know it's wrong/annoying/rude but they don't care or they know they can get away with it. Most of the time, they really DON'T KNOW/NOTICE. I can't correct it if you don't tell me. And it's unfair not to give me a chance in the first place.

you're not a man!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

PurpleRighteous1 said:

Yes! This is a big gripe of mine in relationships/friendships. I've had a few friends blow up on me out of nowhere (to me anyway) b/c they kept quiet about some of my behavior that was bothering them until the resentment exploded out of them. If someone is repeatedly doing something you don't like it's not necesarily true that they know it's wrong/annoying/rude but they don't care or they know they can get away with it. Most of the time, they really DON'T KNOW/NOTICE. I can't correct it if you don't tell me. And it's unfair not to give me a chance in the first place.

you're not a man!

Aries women are ruled by Mars.

We think like men.

PunkMistress said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

you're not a man!

Aries women are ruled by Mars.

We think like men.

hand over your vag then!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

PunkMistress said:

Aries women are ruled by Mars.

We think like men.

hand over your vag then!

That's not in my brain!

PunkMistress said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

hand over your vag then!

That's not in my brain!

oh please. just because you got conned by a gypsy fortune teller that you are man like doesn't mean it's true!

No seriously guys.

I think I'm am being/was being really irrational.

Cuz now I can't even get up to empty the dishwasher without him following me into the kitchen like a lost puppy asking me what he can do and do I need help. (Which is ALSO annoying the shit outta me).

I really think he just didn't know.

Basically at this point in time I'm being a bitch and your damned if you do damned if you don't.

I'm working on it.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

No seriously guys.

I think I'm am being/was being really irrational.

Cuz now I can't even get up to empty the dishwasher without him following me into the kitchen like a lost puppy asking me what he can do and do I need help. (Which is ALSO annoying the shit outta me).

I really think he just didn't know.

Basically at this point in time I'm being a bitch and your damned if you do damned if you don't.

I'm working on it.

PurpleRighteous1 said:

PunkMistress said:

I don't have testicles, but guess what? I'm not a mind reader, and I'm in a situation with a close friend right now over this very same concept. Getting pissy without telling anyone what's wrong is a poor way of handling yourself. In the case of my friend, I really had no idea what was bothering her, and if I had known, I would have tried to make it right. But I wasn't given a chance to.

Just because I love someone and know them well does not mean I know all their wants, needs, thoughts and feelings unless they TELL ME.

Yes! This is a big gripe of mine in relationships/friendships. I've had a few friends blow up on me out of nowhere (to me anyway) b/c they kept quiet about some of my behavior that was bothering them until the resentment exploded out of them. If someone is repeatedly doing something you don't like it's not necesarily true that they know it's wrong/annoying/rude but they don't care or they know they can get away with it. Most of the time, they really DON'T KNOW/NOTICE. I can't correct it if you don't tell me. And it's unfair not to give me a chance in the first place.

THANK YOU!

ZombieKitten said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

No seriously guys.

I think I'm am being/was being really irrational.

Cuz now I can't even get up to empty the dishwasher without him following me into the kitchen like a lost puppy asking me what he can do and do I need help. (Which is ALSO annoying the shit outta me).

I really think he just didn't know.

Basically at this point in time I'm being a bitch and your damned if you do damned if you don't.

I'm working on it.

at your sig