?


I know yall had some bad ones. Most of you folks here are gonna die alone so the math adds up that you'd have some interesting stories.



So share!

I know I’ve told the story here before, but the worst EVER was the guy who outed himself as a racist, xenophobic homophobe within about 30-45 minutes. He made a comment about needing to get his mother out of her neighborhood as it has turned into mostly Somali immigrants and they look at her like SHE’S the weird one. And when I mentioned much of my social circle consists of gay men he pulled out the dreaded gay impression, with a limp wrist and a lisp to boot. It was AWFUL. I kept hoping no one in the place would overhear him and think I was interested in him in any way. I finished my glass of wine, let him pay for it and was out the door within about an hour.

Girl asked me to her college graduation dinner cruise.

She got drunk and wanted to slow dance. She goes in for the kiss and bites almost through my lip.

Like, I'm stoic as hell, but I audibly said "Ow. Ow! Like, OW!"

Anybody else woulda shoved her to the deck, but I was cool.

And we never spoke again.

The only really bad one was with this dude that was a compulsive liar...like a really, REALLY obvious liar.

And he wasn't even really all that cute so I had tuned out before the lies began anyway.

I've never had a date...is that tragic?

OK, this isn't the worse, and it's really not even my date.... well, it sort of is , but not really.


I was 'taking the grenade' for a friend of mine. For those of you who don't know, when you 'take the grenade' for a friend, you agree to go on a double date where your friend gets to date the girl of his dreams, and you end up with her best friend. Men in the military are so stupid somethings.


Anyways, her friend really gets on well with me and we're all having a good time at a nice bar on the beach.

So her friend starts to ask me about my racial mix, which I don't mind at all. But just for shits and grins I wanted to see if she'd guess anywhere close---in Tampa, folks tended to guess 'latino' of some kind. She said, "I don't know! Come on, tell me!"
I said, "Guess!"
She starts laughing and says, "Oh it doesn't matter. You could be Asian and that would be ok."





I REALLY took the grenade that night, because I laughed it off and made light of it so my buddy could get laid.

.
[Edited 5/20/10 10:03am]

Oh My...
Okay...
Last July, I went to RAGE with a couple of friends. My drunk ass was on the floor, and my friends stayed out on the patio talking to people. I wander out there, and my friend, Dora, says "...and here he is!" and I'm like "WTF?"...SO this HUUUUUGE Spanish guy is all like "Hello!! Nice to meet you!" and I'm standing there with my other friend like "SAY HI TO HIM TOO " There was an empty seat next to the guy, so I sat down to rest until I heard another song I liked. This big mother fucker starts talking to me and I'm just like "eh...yeah...uh huh...okay...whatever", and then he asks me out. At first I hesitated, but then he said he was gonna take me out to eat, and I can't pass up a free meal. So I say yes. Then he gets up, and I gave my friend the Kubrick stare of death....

The guy, "Pete" comes to get me next saturday. First we go to Culver City, to some ol' rickety crickety Mexican restaurant he swore up and down had good food. I ordered a quesadilla, which they made with CANNED CHICKEN (oh hell naw...)I picked over it and he got upset because I wasn't eating, and I just told him I was saving it for later. I didn't want to tell him it tasted like death, failure and tears. Then he starts asking me where I'm from blah blah blah...and then he tells me that he wants to take me to Mexico to meet his family

He said "I'm not out to them, but I'm pretty sure they have an idea I'm gay. Oh! But they would LOVE you! They would throw a party for you and everything!!" and I said "You're not out to them, but you want to take a guy down there to meet them. Wouldn't that ring some bells?" And he said "Oh no. And even if it did, it wouldn't be a big deal."
YES IT FUCKING WOULD. I am NOT trying to be involved in anybody's coming out process. Mine alone was enough thank YOU. Then we leave the restaurant, and he said "I want to take you to the harbor to look at the boats." I said "My ancestors came over here on boats. Why would I want to go look at some? Am I supposed to reminisce or something?" and he was like "Oh, well it's a special place to me, I thought I'd share it with you." We go to eat AGAIN, and then I tell him I'm getting sleepy and I need to go back to my dorm to take a nap. He tries DESPERATELY to convince not to, but I win in the end. On the drive back to Hollywood, he starts talking about us saving money to go to Europe and shit. No. Just, No. Then he says "Okay, so I'll pick you back up in a couple hours. I want to take you to this place to meet my frieds. If they call me, we'll go meet them, if not, we'll just go to RAGE." So his "friends" never call him, and we go to West Hollywood. First we go to the underwear store, and he tries to get me to try a pair on, which you can't do. Then the whole time I'm looking at swimming trunks, he's behind me sizing me up. He held up this kaballah-strink-fishnet contraption and said "Yeah...these would be real nice!" I said "I must be Aretha Franklin, cuz Ain't No Way..." and I he said "Not for the beach, to walk around my house in"

So we leave there and go to a bar, and we're just sitting down, and this motherfucker is SWEATING. Then he comes in front of me and he's like "Are you having a good time? I'm having a good time etc..." and he kisses me on the cheek, and he says "So are you gonna kiss me back?" in the back of my mind I was like "FUUUUUCCCCCKKK!!!!!" This motherfucker is sweating tsunamis, and he wants a kiss. So I give him a little peck, and he tried to turn his head so I kissed him on the lips...Not happening. Then we finally go to RAGE, and he asks "So what should I tell my friends about us?" and I said "What do you mean 'US'?" and he says "So are we together, or dating, or what..." I said "We're on A date, but we're not dating." and he said "I don't understand." I said "I'm dating 5 other guys, I like to have options, I hope that doesn't make me seem like a whore.." and He said "Well, when I asked you out, I wanted to be the only one you're seeing." And I said "Oh no!! I need variety." Then he went to the bathroom, and I PRAYED TO GOD for something to happen, so I can just slip out without him noticing. The dance floor finally opens, and we go. Some guy was dancing, and twisted his knee cap out of place, Pete panicked and said "OH MY GOD!! Lonnie, stay here! I'm gonna get the manager!!" and I sat on the stage watching this spectacle, and the ambulance had to come cut the guy's pants leg off. There were 2 guys sitting next to me, and one said "OH MY GOD.....His pants!!!" and the other guy was like "I Know!! Isn't it horrible??" So I'm sitting there, and it hit me, that this was the diversion I prayed for! So I god my black ass up, ran from Santa Monica blvd. to Sunset, and back to my dorms.
I saw him last week and he had the nerve to give me his number again

TheVoid said:

you should've told her she wasn't even close.

This one always comes to mind, and it might not be the worst:

When I was working on my Masters, a guy in my class asked me out. He was nice & cute, so I accepted. He picked me up , and at the movie theatre he bought my ticket. When we got inside, he said, "You don't want popcorn, do you?" I was kinda taken aback, so I just said "no".
We got inside, and he was totally obnoxious because I asked if we could sit closer.
We finally settled on a seat, and he PULLED OUT FRIED CHICKEN AND WHITE BREAD IN FOIL! He leaned over and said, "Want some?"
After the movie ("The Cell" ), he left the bones and greasy napkins all over the floor!
I saw that ass the next weekend with "his girlfriend" and he ignored me. He just used me to get notes for the class!

chocolate1 said:

I'm laughings so hard at yours and ScarletScandal's stories right now.


Oh my gawd.





shit!

Fried chicken and white bread.


lawd.


KLASSSAY

ScarletScandal said:

So what was wrong with him?

ScarletScandal said:

I haven't been on that many dates. None of them were tragic, but they left me feeling so underwhelmed I'm like... why bother

Another tragedy:

I met this guy online (I know, I know...) and he seemed really cool.
After a while, he asked me to dinner and I accepted.
Here we go:
1) He told me he was about 5'10", but when I opened that front door, I TOWERED over him in my 4" heels. (I'm 5"2"!!!!)

2) We went to a Seafood Restaurant where they cook a lot of things with nuts. He got angry because I'm allergic to nuts.
He ate like the food was trying to escape.

3) He wanted to go to a midnight movie, but I had to be at church at 7:30 the next morning because my friend was preaching. So then he asked me if I wanted to go out Sunday afternoon, but it was right after final exams and I had a TON of papers to grade....

4) After church, I was curled up on the couch reading exams, (maybe about 11am) and the phone rang. He didn't even say "hello", just "How was church?"
I said it was fine, and he started questioning me about the sermon topic and stuff. He said, "Oh, I just wanted to make sure you weren't blowing me off last night. And I thought you would have called after church to thank me."

5) Gets better... I told him I had to go finish grading, so he told me to call him later. I didn't.
I logged on to my MySpace page and he had written me a message in ALL CAPS telling me how all us bitches are the same, and I was a fake and he thought I was different!!!
I had to block his little ass!
(and then I was scared because he had my address!)

chocolate1 said:

holy CRAP #4 was just but getting threats (#5) ?????

Man remind me to never give out my address

Cinnie said:

No more first dates picking me up from my house!
Now I meet the guy so I can have my own car AND he doesn't know where I live.

omg! my dad set me up on a blind date when i was in my early 20's, and it was a nightmare! it was one of his co-workers (i don't know what he was thinking?) so the guy comes to the house to pick me up in this monster truck, i mean it's wheels were huge! and he himself was huge (i'm not skinny anymore, but back then i was skinny & cute). this guy was not only huge, but dirty, i mean he had a t-shirt on with food stains all over it. and he smelled like he hadn't taken a shower in years. he doesn't open the truck door for me, and i almost fall out, because you need like a ladder to even climb up into it. so he says he's going to take me somewhere super nice to eat for dinner. which ends up being dell taco. so he orders the whole left side of the menu for himself, and then looks at me and tells me i need to order my own food and pay for it. so i do. throughout the meal, he's telling me all about these sick and twisted murders that happened to woman up in the mountains where he lives. which really gives me the creeps! and at this point i just wanna go home! so he invites me back to his house to go to his hot tub...and of course i say NOOOOO!!!! and while he's in the bathroom, i run out of the dell taco to the near-by target store and call my friend to rescue me. that has got to be the worst date i've ever had!

The first one that comes to mind is the TGIF date that complained about having to pay $50 for what we had and then turned around and drunkenly asked me to marry him. The saddest part is that in the days to follow he felt a need to constantly remind me that he was serious when he asked me.

In 2008 my co worker set me up on a semi blind date. I knew what he looked like but he didnt know what I looked like. ( The day of,I posted a thread of what perfume I should wear )
He was nice looking but he had skinny legs. My thighs were bigger than his


He was 40. Me 28.

He took me to a loud bar so we were screaming at each other. He was in real estate and he talked about real estate alllll night. ZZZZzzzzz


When he finally asked me about myself. I didnt feel like talking to him.I shut down
I looked at him and told him to take me home. I never called him again.

Mine was with a guy I had actually been dating for awhile.

We were going out to dinner with some friends of his, and he wanted me to wear a particular outfit. While I don't really mind taking requests, the outfit he wanted me to wear wasn't clean - and I didn't have time to do laundry between work and the date. So I explained to him that the outfit wasn't available and I'd be wearing something else.

I don't know what part of that he didn't get...because when he picked me up, he looked at me and said, "Oh - I thought you were going to wear such and such." I said, "No, I told you it wasn't clean and that I wouldn't have time to wash and iron it today."

He proceeded to sulk and basically ignored me for most of the night. When he dropped me off, we somehow got into it and he said, "Y'know...you aren't at all in real life like you are on television." (I did TV weather at the time.) I said, "Really. And just what did you think I was like based on seeing me do a three-minute weathercast? More importantly, how did you think you could actually know a person based on that? "

Needless to say, that was the beginning of the end of the relationship. After we broke up, he dated the weathergirl on another channel in the same town.

Vicarious fame-whore.

Genesia said:

What a weirdo!!

There was this guy that i had been drooling over FOREVER! He had one of those toned tanned muscular bodies and he used to mow the old ladies house right next door to mine with no shirt on and those shorty shorts we wore in the 80's Anyway, i digress...

So he asked me out and I was sooooo excited... He took me to see Howard the duck then we ate at taco Bell... BIG dissapointment! BIG!

tinaz said:

Damn, not only to see a bad movie, but probably one of the top 10 worst movies ever made.

Poiple said:

I know, right!!!

Genesia said:

News blazer fetish?!?

tinaz said:

Um... I love Taco Bell. Like severely. And why is the bad movie a reflection on the guy? Or did he do somethin wrong in addition to those choices?

DrRockdapuss said:

Please.. Your gonna take someone to Taco bell and you think their gonna wanna date you again.. ...Thats not the place you take a girl if you wanna impress her, if your just grabbing a quick bite to eat, ok... but NOT as a first date...Besides...He was pretty to look at, but dumb as a box of rocks...

DrRockdapuss said:

The movie itself isn't a reflection of the person, but it the date sucks, you should at least be able to get a decent flick out of it.
(Friend Chicken Guy took me to see "The Cell".)