BklynBabe said:

teach your kids confidence and personal accounntability

or like I might do....castration!

you gonna give em wine and pain killers first right? we must afterall be humane.

paintedlady said:

JoeTyler said:

00s porn is terrible; it's all extreme, nasty and disgusting stuff, the actresses have no name and they're just gangbanged or "forced" to do extremely nasty things, and that annoying gonzo camera...please ; hell, back in my day (the 90s), porn had a proper photography, and the actresses were respected, loved and well-known by us all (in other words, they were still true pornstars); 00s porn SHOULD BE BANNED

back to topic: I STRONGLY think that a regular guy should lose his virginity if he truly wants to do it, not because what his friends say or whatever (we all know how stupid teens are); to each his own, there are teens who are completely uninterested in sex, while others start jerking-off as soon as they're are 11 years old ; in my case, I was never interested in having sex with teens (teens are ugly, uneducated and boring) but I was always looking at sexy +25 years old woman, even when I was 16 years old ; not surprisingly, I lost my virginity when I was 21 with a +35 years old woman...

Sex (coitus) and love are overrated anyway... and teens are stupid, so there's nothing we can do about this, really...you can't stop a horny & stupid teen...

You hit on an interesting point... some things should stay private.

I drilled my son NOT to tell his friends about his sexual status.

I told him to tell his friends that his sex life (or lack thereof) was none of their business.

This is key. A child has to have enough self esteen NOT to try to be a sheep and tell his/her friends all his business because he/she will be judged by whatever he tells them.

Its a no win situation to tell teen peers about your sex life,because you may be pressured into sex because they know you are still a virgin. Its crazy and stressful in an already stressful new world for them.

I wouldn't put it on self-esteem. It's the pressure to be accepted and fit in with people breeds that mentality. It's a hard thing to deal with. No one exactly wants to be ousted from a group or be an outcast.

JustErin said:

I will educate him on sexuality and encourage responsibility and respect of his body and others'....not virginity.

I don't believe there is any value in simply denying a natural sexual urge.

Thank you! Count me among those who see no virtue in virginity or sexual abstinence in and of itself. Having said, I'm a big propoent in talking to your adolescent children who are anxious to become sexually active and ask them why they feel the need to rush into sexual activity. If it's because they feel some deep hormonal urge (like most teens do) to get off, I think they should be given a heartfelt discussion about how they can masturbate in the privacy of their bedroom/bathroom without feeling any shame for it. Let them know it's okay for your darling son to stroke his wiener while watching RedTube in the privacy of his bedroom (as long as he.. um.. cleans up after himself), and that it's okay for the sweet daughters to use the pulsating shower head in the bathtub and "wash their private regions", or even that it's okay to break out the toys.

But if the kids are feeling pressure to become sexually active due to peer pressure, then that's the moment for parents to step in and help create a teachablke moment with their kids about self-esteem and respecting themselves and their bodies. If they change their minds and choose to stay abstinent, then great. But if they make an informed decision to become sexually active, then that's when they need to get birth control, without shame or anger.

DesireeNevermind said:

BklynBabe said:

teach your kids confidence and personal accounntability

or like I might do....castration!

you gonna give em wine and pain killers first right? we must afterall be humane.

girl...I do this for a living! I got this

DesireeNevermind said:

ORG QUESTION OF THE DAY:

So why are we so quick to embrace the notion that teens will fuck for the sake of fucking rather than encourage them to maintain their virginity until they meet a worthy lover and potential life partner? With all the diseases, teen pregnancies, children raised by single parents, children living in poverty, porn addiction, lack of intimacy, sexting, and people who have a hard time maintaining relationships...wouldn't it make sense to encourage virginity and relationship building among this next generation?

DISCUSS.

Did your parents encourage or teach you to keep your virginity? Abstain from sex?

Aryll said:

I wouldn't put it on self-esteem. It's the pressure to be accepted and fit in with people breeds that mentality. It's a hard thing to deal with. No one exactly wants to be ousted from a group or be an outcast.

As I developed a healthier sense of self-esteem, I didn't want to hang with the crowd. I didn't want to run with any group of friends, I kept friends as individuals and hung with them one at a time. I didn't care for the popular girls because I began to really dig just being me.

By senior year, I saw all the girl's that ran in groups at each others throats by prom season, I avioded all that drama. I was cool with all of them but not in any cliques. Just neutral, but I only had ONE close friend I shared everything with, she is still my best friend now after 30+ years. I was an outcast so to speak, and I liked it.

funny thing is you never really know about sex until after you have sex

just teach kids to be safe and responsible

cause their going to do it anyway

i find that if you babysit bad ass kids like my self then you are less likey to get pregnant lmao

That's a good question.

PicklesMcMillan said:

funny thing is you never really know about sex until after you have sex

just teach kids to be safe and responsible

cause their going to do it anyway

i find that if you babysit bad ass kids like my self then you are less likey to get pregnant lmao

paintedlady said:

Taught my son... no job no pussy. He is sexually active now, but I encourage masturbation over sex with a partner. He waited until he was 18 to start having sex... which is not great but hey, he found a job and a great girl. Until then I encouraged him to "take care of his needs himself" with discretion.

Like BB said, teens have raging hormones and many parents think that masturbation is a disgusting pratice, something that is a deviation from the "norm" so masturbation is out of the question. This is why teens have sex.

Heck this is why single adults in the church have sex outside of marriage as well.

The prudes of the world encourage kids to seek their own sexual needs in the worse way possible becaue the have issues with their daughters spanking their monkeys and their sons jerking off.

heck, when my daughter is old enough, Imma tell her the same, and point her to the 24 speed hand held shower head I own. It'll save her a lot of heart ache and foolishness because she will not fall under a boy's embrace because her clit is jumping.

My very honest opinion.

Momma was encouraging firing off some knuckle children

and WOW @ the 24 speed hand held shower head

DesireeNevermind said:

ORG QUESTION OF THE DAY:

So why are we so quick to embrace the notion that teens will fuck for the sake of fucking rather than encourage them to maintain their virginity until they meet a worthy lover and potential life partner? With all the diseases, teen pregnancies, children raised by single parents, children living in poverty, porn addiction, lack of intimacy, sexting, and people who have a hard time maintaining relationships...wouldn't it make sense to encourage virginity and relationship building among this next generation?

DISCUSS.

So how old were you when you lost your virginity?

You do NOT have to answer THIS^ since it's none of my business either way. But you definitely need to be able to practice what you preach. If it was up to me, I would make it a law that no human being can lose their virginity under age 20.

[Edited 6/17/10 21:16pm]

I have to have emotional attachment to a person in order to lose it. When ever a topic like this gets brought up at work, or by friends. I try to stay out of it. It's like nobody wants to believe in love anymore

I think this issue of teens and sex is becoming more prominent (Not full on sex-but at least oral). Stems from 3 things primarily, 1) Families not spending time together. We are all to busy texting and doing 3 activities at once that we don't fully participate in an active role with each family member. We are there but we are not present. 2)The consistent sexualization of our youth (see: Abercrombie and fitch). This promotes sex and coolness as one. That your self worth is your ability to attract others sexually.3)The age of being a kid has been reduced greatly and the age of teenage hood has grown. What was appropriate for myself when I was a kid and what is appropriate now is different. I mean I went to a Mervyn's store a while back when there were open and they had 4th grader models posing in the picture displays. All the kids had "attitude" poses with a mean look on their face. Not 1 kid had a smile on their face in all the picture displays. Shoot an elementary school dance had kids freak dancing. Rubbing private parts all over each other-I mean how wrong is that!!! They stopped the kids-but they went back to freak dancing any chance they got.

Not to sound like a prude, but sexuality and the expression of it should be age appropriate. And most importantly why can't kids just be kids?

I believe in promoting relationship building-but people are different-some may choose virginity others not. There isn't a one size fits all philosophy in this situation.

sorry for the "wordy" post

JustErin said:

I will educate him on sexuality and encourage responsibility and respect of his body and others'....not virginity.

I don't believe there is any value in simply denying a natural sexual urge.

It's all about educating children. My parents have always been very open and postitive about sexuality.

It was never a taboo, or something you didn't talk about. It wasn't a topic during dinner either though, but I never felt that there was some big mistery regarding "sex".

So I took my time discovering my sexuality and never got into any trouble.

If I look at my peers at the time, there was this one girl in high-school who got pregnant at the age of 17.

She got full support of everyone surrounding her; friends, family, teachers.

TonyVanDam said:

DesireeNevermind said:

ORG QUESTION OF THE DAY:

So why are we so quick to embrace the notion that teens will fuck for the sake of fucking rather than encourage them to maintain their virginity until they meet a worthy lover and potential life partner? With all the diseases, teen pregnancies, children raised by single parents, children living in poverty, porn addiction, lack of intimacy, sexting, and people who have a hard time maintaining relationships...wouldn't it make sense to encourage virginity and relationship building among this next generation?

DISCUSS.

So how old were you when you lost your virginity?

You do NOT have to answer THIS^ since it's none of my business either way. But you definitely need to be able to practice what you preach. If it was up to me, I would make it a law that no human being can lose their virginity under age 20.

[Edited 6/17/10 21:16pm]

You can't stop two horny teens; I mean, you can stop murder (or punish it) or drug traffic, but you can't stop sex...

[Edited 6/18/10 9:29am]

funkycat00 said:

I have to have emotional attachment to a person in order to lose it. When ever a topic like this gets brought up at work, or by friends. I try to stay out of it. It's like nobody wants to believe in love anymore

well, when you are a teenage girl, you always think you are in love....LOL.

I'm 21, a virgin and too scared to have sex

Audexia said:

I'm 21, a virgin and too scared to have sex

to be a 21 years old virgin is perfectly fine and normal for me; but you shouldn't be afraid of it...

I couldn't have lost my virginity in high school, even if I'd wanted to. I had a mom who was a total hawk with respect to keeping tabs on her kids, and three younger sisters who'd've ratted me out in a heartbeat if they saw (or heard about) any hanky-panky.

But beyond that, I think it makes a huge difference when kids know there are expectations for their behavior - and that they have things to look forward to that they don't want to fuck up by getting pregnant (which, in my day, was the worst that could happen - this was pre-AIDS). My parents made it clear that sexual activity was not acceptable - and that engaging in it had the potential to totally screw up our futures. I was expected to get good grades, hold down a part-time job and excel at my extracurricular activities. And I was going to college - period.

I think that attitude in a family makes a difference.

[Edited 6/18/10 10:19am]

Audexia said:

I'm 21, a virgin and too scared to have sex

Sex and emotions are powerful and potent things and should be respected!!

Definitely you should save your most valuable asset-yourself-for someone who will be worthy and deserving of such a prize....and sadly there are not many out there who will fit the bill!

I still have serious trust issues from dealing with guys in high school and college...and I wish I wouldn't have been such a lil fastass I was hard-headed....and horny. Bad combination.

i lost my virginity in a one night stand

i took advantage of the poor guy

i only used him to lose my virginity

he was drunk and he was hott and from out of town

so if i sucked he wouldnt remember and i never would have to see him again

but really in the end i got duped

Audexia said:

I'm 21, a virgin and too scared to have sex

Girl, I'm 23, and between possible pregancies, diseases, and the swamp they dare call the dating pool, I am in no hurry to give it up.

My mom was very upfront with me about sex. She told me to wait for someone I was truly in love with. High school (and even college to an extent), and a bunch of stupid boyfriends pretty much sealed my decision to wait until marriage.

DesireeNevermind said:

ORG QUESTION OF THE DAY:

So why are we so quick to embrace the notion that teens will fuck for the sake of fucking rather than encourage them to maintain their virginity until they meet a worthy lover and potential life partner? With all the diseases, teen pregnancies, children raised by single parents, children living in poverty, porn addiction, lack of intimacy, sexting, and people who have a hard time maintaining relationships...wouldn't it make sense to encourage virginity and relationship building among this next generation?

DISCUSS.

You can encourage it, but that doesn't mean they are going to act accordingly.

Doesn't mean it isn't being encouraged either.

I'm sure you listened to everything your parents said, and did what they say to do or not to do but in my experience that is the minority teen experience.

paintedlady said:

Taught my son... no job no pussy. He is sexually active now, but I encourage masturbation over sex with a partner. He waited until he was 18 to start having sex... which is not great but hey, he found a job and a great girl. Until then I encouraged him to "take care of his needs himself" with discretion.

Like BB said, teens have raging hormones and many parents think that masturbation is a disgusting pratice, something that is a deviation from the "norm" so masturbation is out of the question. This is why teens have sex.

Heck this is why single adults in the church have sex outside of marriage as well.

The prudes of the world encourage kids to seek their own sexual needs in the worse way possible becaue the have issues with their daughters spanking their monkeys and their sons jerking off.

heck, when my daughter is old enough, Imma tell her the same, and point her to the 24 speed hand held shower head I own. It'll save her a lot of heart ache and foolishness because she will not fall under a boy's embrace because her clit is jumping.

My very honest opinion.

Interesting - I was masturbating at a very young age and don't remember having any thoughts as to what my parents thought of it Of course, you don't want to get caught in the act but the fact that my parents wouldn't have approved was immaterial.

And no amount of meat-beating was going to dissuade me from finding a toy box for my favourite toy.

After all, football training doesn't make you want to play a match less, does it? Obviously not as I got my first cap at 15. Whether my mum thought I should be on the field or in the gym, didn't figure at all.

vivid said:

paintedlady said:

Taught my son... no job no pussy. He is sexually active now, but I encourage masturbation over sex with a partner. He waited until he was 18 to start having sex... which is not great but hey, he found a job and a great girl. Until then I encouraged him to "take care of his needs himself" with discretion.

Like BB said, teens have raging hormones and many parents think that masturbation is a disgusting pratice, something that is a deviation from the "norm" so masturbation is out of the question. This is why teens have sex.

Heck this is why single adults in the church have sex outside of marriage as well.

The prudes of the world encourage kids to seek their own sexual needs in the worse way possible becaue the have issues with their daughters spanking their monkeys and their sons jerking off.

heck, when my daughter is old enough, Imma tell her the same, and point her to the 24 speed hand held shower head I own. It'll save her a lot of heart ache and foolishness because she will not fall under a boy's embrace because her clit is jumping.

My very honest opinion.

Interesting - I was masturbating at a very young age and don't remember having any thoughts as to what my parents thought of it Of course, you don't want to get caught in the act but the fact that my parents wouldn't have approved was immaterial.

And no amount of meat-beating was going to dissuade me from finding a toy box for my favourite toy.

After all, football training doesn't make you want to play a match less, does it? Obviously not as I got my first cap at 15. Whether my mum thought I should be on the field or in the gym, didn't figure at all.

I have to agree with that point... There is nothing like the real thing... Its like eating a piece of fruit when I really want chocolate! Yes, it may have satiated my hunger, but DAMN i reallyyyyyyyyyyyy love chocolate!

JoeTyler said:

TonyVanDam said:

So how old were you when you lost your virginity?

You do NOT have to answer THIS^ since it's none of my business either way. But you definitely need to be able to practice what you preach. If it was up to me, I would make it a law that no human being can lose their virginity under age 20.

[Edited 6/17/10 21:16pm]

You can't stop two horny teens; I mean, you can stop murder (or punish it) or drug traffic, but you can't stop sex...

[Edited 6/18/10 9:29am]

These days, kids are trying to have sex before age 12. If I was a parent, I'll be freaking outrage.

tinaz said:

vivid said:

Interesting - I was masturbating at a very young age and don't remember having any thoughts as to what my parents thought of it Of course, you don't want to get caught in the act but the fact that my parents wouldn't have approved was immaterial.

And no amount of meat-beating was going to dissuade me from finding a toy box for my favourite toy.

After all, football training doesn't make you want to play a match less, does it? Obviously not as I got my first cap at 15. Whether my mum thought I should be on the field or in the gym, didn't figure at all.

I have to agree with that point... There is nothing like the real thing... Its like eating a piece of fruit when I really want chocolate! Yes, it may have satiated my hunger, but DAMN i reallyyyyyyyyyyyy love chocolate!

Well in our ciscumstance, many buys I spoke to agreed with me. Boys who masturbate tend to wait longer to have sex. Boys in my family usually start having sex at 13 with older girls because masturbation is considered unholy. My son waited a bit longer, no it isn't the same true, but it does curb a need to focus on other things.

Audexia said:

I'm 21, a virgin and too scared to have sex

Girl, I'm 20, a virgin, and also terrified of the prospect myself. Nothing to be ashamed of.

I had the good fortune to have parents that taught me the value of abstinence and keeping myself. When I have children, I intend to instill in them the same values.

However, I believe that if the standard of virginity is to be instilled in women (to be virtuous and so on), the standard should also be expected in men as well. If a woman is expected to keep herself for when she finds the right man (i.e marriage), then the man should keep himself also. I find it so frustrating that society believes a man can go and have all the women he wants and then expects to marry a virgin. The double standard annoys the hell out of me and I wish to see the day that hypocrisy ends.

But yes, Ms. Desiree. I believe we should encourage our youth (both boys and girls) to be virgins. If not for morality's sake, for health and social reasons. And....it would save a lot of heartache for these young people.