I'm home from school today due to snow. Now, because I am sick, I decided to prepare myself some chicken noodle soup.

After I had a nice, hot bowl of soup, and a tall glass of OJ, I heard this hissing of a cat. I turned to face the kitchen window, and saw my cat had another cat by the neck. I'm assuming my cat is heterosexual, and guessing this other cat is a female.

I then watched as my cat humped this other cat. The female cat attempted several times to get away, and after each attempt, my cat only bit down on her neck harder, and humped her with more vigor.

I then realized my cat was raping another cat.

I tried to turn my head away from this, but as I sat with my soup, I could still see the kitty-raping action from my peripheral vision.

Should I try to stop this? No, I thought. I didn't want my hand in any of this!

I then looked back, to see my cat humping again. For only a second, he released his mouth from her neck, and she turned around, and clawed him, and made some vicious sounds.

They then sat and stared at one another, until just now, when she exited the scene, and he chased after. Probably for more humping action.

Leave that fucking cat alone!!!

The cat was RIPPED away from his mother at a very young age and had a hard life... he is NOT responsible for his own actions! You should look at yourself and ask how society has treated your cat before placing all the blame on him!

I get so tired of right-wing conservatives saying that cats should be put in the cat pound for raping other cats. This is ludicrous!!! We should try to rehabilitate the cat and reintroduce him into society. Only after he has raped another three or four cats should we think about incarcerating him, but we must give him a television, all the catnip he wants and an unlimited supply of things to entertain him.

Heartless people make me sick.

IceNine said:

You're right. Had I only been nicer to my cat, he would not go out and rape young, innocent female kitties.

I am a terrible person. A failure as a cat-owner.

After three posts this is the best thread of the day.

lovemachine said:

That really must say something about the other threads...

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

You should try to get the cat a job working with children or something... you know, try to get him to calm down and see the goodness in the world. All these raping cats need is a chance... the chance that this bigoted society has long denied him!

You give that cat some treats and tell him that he really is a good cat... and do it NOW!

IceNine said:

He's raping her in the snow right now. I think I'll have to wait.

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

Well, you go out there and explain to him that it is wrong to rape that other cat, but he is really a good cat and has just been denied proper socialization. I don't want to hear any stories about you throwing hot water on them either. You be nice to that cat and show him that society is not really so cruel. YOU be an example to that poor, misguided cat.

Try showing him films on animal over population. Teach him to be responsible. Let him see the error of his ways... At the very least.. be sure he knows not to choose stupid females.. No need for more dense cats!

IceNine said:

I thought I might throw a rock at him instead.

IceNine said:

I read somewhere that when these cats go to the pound they only rape more and more cats their incarcerated with.
The cycle of feline violence will only continue until we vote 'yes' to have warning labels on each and every pack of catnip.

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

Hey make sure the other cat isnt fakin rape Battier! You did say she sat in wait... sounds like she was waiting for him to recharge!! YOU know how those girl cats can be!

Muse2noPharaoh said:

Then she must like it rough, because she is certainly putting up a fight.

Crazy cats! God dammit!

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

Maybe she has a reputation she is trying to uphold!

Well, rapist or not... ur cat needs 2 practice safe sex, even during a rape...

Do they even make cat condoms?

U can always threaten him with the ol' "snip, snip"...

June7 said:

That's cruel. I'd never have that done to my cat. The "snip snip" that is.

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

First of all you should have shot the cat dead( on second thought not because they would arrest YOU for hurting the perp). Crime has no place in this society. If you can call the police and give a detailed description of what went on. The police will be able to make a solid case and arrest the cat. Then you can sleep with a clear conscious.

There is some wild, vicious cat sex going on in my yard right now.

Near a tree, just outside the kitchen window.

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

Yeah, but u can still threaten him with it!!! He doesn't know u wouldn't do it...

June7 said:

We had "the talk" several years ago, when he was entering his awkward teenage years. He is a fairly responsible cat, and I'm most certain he always uses a condom.

SHE HAD IT COMMIN TO HER or HE HAD IT COMMIN TO HIM...
whutever the case may be...
if your cat was on your property when all this took place
then it was the other cat that came there with intent.
if your cat decided the FUCKIN was to be included in the
fight SO BE IT!!!

You could get your cat his own TV and allow him to watch some animal porn to masturbate to, and then maybe he won't be so sexually frusrated.

Cloudbuster said:

That is a great idea!

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

Great, now you support KITTIE PORN!!!

PERVERTS!!!

IceNine said:

It is better than him raping random cats!

Rhonda, dearest, you need to get your cat fixed. It's not "mean". What's "mean" is allowing your cat to bring unwanted kittens into the world--kittens that will most likely starve to death, or be food for bigger critters, or at best be euthanized...

(your cat's sex drive will also decrease as a result of getting him fixed, taking care of your kitty rape problem)

BattierBeMyDaddy said:

How old are the kittens in this KITTIE PORN??? I cannot believe that you would support the exploitation of innocent kittens to satisfy the hedonistic urges of your cat. You should socialize your cat and tell him that the world is not such a cruel place instead of feeding him more of what society forces on unfortunate cats such as yours.

Shame on you, BattierBeMeCatty!

IceNine said:

Nonsense, just get the porn on.