How much does physical appearance matter to you when dating someone?

What if that person has a great looking face, amazing personality, but is a bit heavy or too skinny?

Does that stop you from dating them, or do you date them and keep it a secret from your friends? Because you are afraid they will make fun of you, or tease the person you are with?

I ask this because this came up in converstation today and I am curious what my fellow orgers think on this subject.

Myself, I can look past certain things because I tend to be attracted to people who feel good about themselves.

I have to be attracted to the persons facial features and personality more than their body type...

tinaz said:

That's how I feel too, but I was talking with someone that said they must have the whole package.

MoniGram said:

the whole package exists in about 1 in 1 billion. That person's whole package probably is rotten and stinky in many ways they don't recognize or ignore.

If someone has a face I love, and more importantly a personality I adore, the physical part I don't trip on.

MoniGram said:

I think the whole package isnt a reality... But its also what you think a whole package is .. If I am in love with someone then they are my whole package...

I gotta be attracted to the person features, but luckily I am attracted by a wide range of features, so I'm good

Personality does make some people more attractive.

for instance Jay-Z


...ok, I lie...it's his money and fame

I can totally appreciate a toned and ripped guy in the gym, or where ever.
But that doesn't necessarily turn me on.

I'm more turned on by someones quick wit, a great smile and a dirty mind.
But they do need to take good care of themselves. And by that I don't mean that they should have a gym-rat's physique.

I get being attracted to someone who has a tight body. Who doesn't like that?

But what if you meet someone that just brings out the good in you? Makes you want to be a better person, makes you feel and do things you never thought you would? But because of your own ego can't get past how the person's body is?

This subject became a huge thorn in my side today. Maybe I let it get to me, because I am not perfect, and I was insulted by what this person said.

tinaz said:

exactly!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I agree with this as well!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Stinky packages are gross. I say no to stinky packages.

MoniGram said:

Don't let it get to you, Moni.

Anyone who thinks that their love life will adhere to a previously determined set of rules or standards is a fucking assclown with no common sense. And probably a sheep who wears whatever cologne or clothing line the TV tells them to.

I'm serious. To paraphrase Tina, we fall in love with people. And if you are really into somebody, then they become your "whole package."

Imperfections, physical or otherwise, are not impediments to someone loving you. It's quite the opposite. As Chris Rock said, "you gotta love the crust of a person!"

PunkMistress said:

It's called reframing. Instead of looking at the crust as an unappetizing part of the pizza, you simply coat it with olive oil, sprikle parmesan cheese and dip it in sauce!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

whole package people = lonely & frustrated as far as I'm concerned...

If you make me smile you're already more than halfway to my heart...

just sayin'...

MoniGram said:

Looks are only a tiny piece of the puzzle for me. Attraction is about the total package and how I perceive a person will affect how I feel about their physical appearance. My tastes will actually change based on how I feel about someone. There are people I've grown to find more attractive over time and then there are those who I might have found hot to begin with and because they were an ass or something no longer found them to be so.

I REALLY don't care how anyone else feels about the looks of someone I'm dating. Anyone who would tease me about my date's/boyfriend's/partner's looks is no friend of mine. That's just plain rude.

CarrieMpls said:

Seriously, that is the dumbest stupidest crap and says EVERYTHING about the person being critical.

Thanks everyone for your opinions. Like I said, this came up in converstation today and it really got to me. I would hate to think someone would pass me by because I am not perfect and miss out on who I really am.

I agree with being afraid of telling your friends who you are with. I always have felt this was my life, and this is who I want. I am not dating their friends...I am dating them.

I knew all your orgers would have wise opinions on this.

I'm attracted to a total package, but I can't expect every part of that package will be perfect (unless I am a perfect package, too)

Physical appearance isnt important, but I do have to be physically attracted to them.

They can be fat, skinny, what ever, as long as it turns me on.

I used to have this "profile" of what I found attractive, and even dated a couple in that group, but soon found out that was BS.

Although I am attracted to certain looks/body type, I have found that how I'm treated/conversation skills/similar interests mean more.
The guy that I'm in love with (but not with anymore ) does not fit my "type", but I didn't care about those things when I started falling for him.

mostbeautifulboy said:

MoniGram said:

if i am really in-love with the person then i don't give a damn what my friends think of him! if they think he's fat and they don't like it, that's their problem! because i am the one dating him or married to him. and i'm the one that loves him. i would never be ashamed of the person i'm with, never! i would never keep him a secret. and if my friends teased him, then i would get new friends, because that ain't happening with me. there must be respect on my friends part, i don't make fun of their spouses or dates, so they better not make fun of mine.i love and admire my husband, and i'm proud of him, doesn't matter if he's skinny or fat. and when my husband married me i was really skinny, now i'm over weight, and he has never made me feel ashamed, or that he feels ashamed of me. he always makes me feel that he's proud i'm his wife. i think if you love the person, you love them for who they are. just my thoughts moni...love ya!

Depends how much she charges an hour.

Yes, looks matter but, to me, it's pretty much all about the face. I really not picky when it comes to body. I've dated super thin dudes and kinda chubby dudes...but they all had gorgeous faces.

MoniGram said:

A whole lot. A pretty face and an ass that won't quit is my cocaine.

How much does physical appearance matter to you when dating someone?
Essential

What if that person has a great looking face, amazing personality, but is a bit heavy or too skinny?
A bit isn't bad. But Americans have a VERY skewed view of what a bit is. When it comes to skinny, I'm actually kind of weird because I consider elbows to be very ugly and when they arm is so skinny that it makes the elbow look like a centerpiece, I just can't get passed that. I ((( HATAE ))) skinny arms. If a man has skinny arms I'm instantly not attracted. Now that being said, I'm specifically talking about average sized men with skinny arms--not skinny men with skinny arms. It's more about the arm to waist ratio than just the arms.
Also, a flat ass on a girl is a sure fire 'no, just no'. Girls need ass.

Does that stop you from dating them, or do you date them and keep it a secret from your friends? Because you are afraid they will make fun of you, or tease the person you are with?
It might stop me from dating them. It all depends. The rules for attraction are weird--just because I have a type doesn't mean I don't veer from it or I don't change. I mean, 2 years ago, when it came to men, you'd never really catch me looking at a man shorter than 5'10 but being in Thailand, I find them adorable. And I actually like the shorter men more.

I ask this because this came up in converstation today and I am curious what my fellow orgers think on this subject.
I think folks who say it doesn't matter are lying, honestly.

Myself, I can look past certain things because I tend to be attracted to people who feel good about themselves.
Here's the thing for me. Phyiscal attraction is essential. But the odd thing is that a person's personality is sometimes suited for their looks and makes them more attractive. I wouldn't normally find Adrian Brody attractive, but when he smiles and talks, I get wet.
Likewise, I think Pink is hot, but I can't stand to hear her talk.

RenHoek said:

Oh fuck, I forgot.


Sense of humor is paramount. A person who can't enjoy a good laugh, especially at their own expense is terribly unattractive.

Interesting subject...i totally go for physical appearance, but i wish i didn't. I found that i don't have a healthy view on a man's physics. There are so many things on my list, that i just don't enjoy a normal man's body.
My relationsships were mostly based on physics...pretty sad actually

It's all good after a couple of glasses of wine and when I'm not wearing my glasses.