It is essential for me to be totally attracted to that person, because I only fall in love with people who are attractive to me, but that doesn't mean that he has to be perfect by society's standards. He has to be totally hot for me and if others don't think he is that doesn't matter a lot to me. And the face is more important to me than the body even though my current bf has a pretty much perfect body IMO. But as much as I appreciate that I would prefer him to be a little more skinny and less muscular for example as I am love skinny men . On the other hand I totally don't like it when men are tall what everybody else seems to love. So like I said, he has to be my type and not anybody elses. But if he is not he can be the nicest person on earth and we will never be more than friends. I know that's shallow, but that's how it is.

How much does physical appearance matter to you when dating someone? - alot.but saying that means i know what i like when i see it.not because someone has to look like a model or something.

What if that person has a great looking face, amazing personality, but is a bit heavy or too skinny?-good face goes a long way.but long as i find a happy medium there its cool lol.

Does that stop you from dating them, or do you date them and keep it a secret from your friends? Because you are afraid they will make fun of you, or tease the person you are with? only things that stop me from dating anyone is if we dont click.and i wouldnt be out with someone i got to hide from people as it is lol. lawd thats just too messy and too hectic!

robertlove said:

Physics, eh?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physics

kewlschool said:

RenHoek said:

Amen, big dude

I will say – for as much as I say that looks are only a small portion of the equation (and they really are) there still is SOMEthing to physical attraction. If it’s not there, it’s simply not there and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I once went on a date with a guy who was great on paper – adding up all of his non-physical characteristics I should have fallen in love with him and wanted his babies instantly. I loved his job, he had great taste in everything, he was really sweet and kind (despite the rep we ladies get for wanting bad boys, I’ve long since outgrown that), his values were very similar to mine, and on and on. And there was nothing physically wrong with him, not in a typical sense, anyway.

But there was just NOTHING there. No spark, no butterflies in the tummy, nothing. I shook his hand goodnight and that was the end of it. Actually, he asked me out again and I turned him down and that was the end of it. And I felt really badly about it. But if it’s not there, it’s just not there.

What if the person meets your emotional needs, like love, to be needed, caring?

They still have a great face, wonderful personality, but their body is either to skinny, or to heavy?

Can any of you look past that? Is finding love, and security less in one's life they physical appearance?

CarrieMpls said:

One of my closest friends fell in love with me many years ago, but I never felt attracted to him. So we never were more than just friends.

MoniGram said:

We have all already agreed that the body doesnt play that big of a role in our attractions at all!... Its the initial spark, maybe its their eyes, or smile, that draws you in, then you get to know their personality, and the body doesnt usually play a part in it...

Whats great about everyone being different is not everyone is attracted to the same kind of people.... For instance,..

Serious stated she likes skinny men, I on the other hand dont like my men skinny... I know she likes long hair on men, I on the other hand like a clean cut man...But thats not to say that I would rule out a skinny man or a guy with long hair if he had something that caught my eye...

Is it really wrong for me to completely lose interest in someone who dances weird or has a bad haircut?


The dancing is marginal. The haircut can really be a serious issue.

TheVoid said:

Honey, you can change a hair cut...

tinaz said:

But if a guy has short hair and maybe even because he is losing it then he will never have longer beautiful hair .

MoniGram said:

In order to find out if someone would meet my emotional needs I’d need to be physically attracted to them first. I wouldn’t date someone I didn’t find attractive in some way so I’d never get to know if they were all kinds of wonderful in the other ways – I’d never find out if they were able to meet every other need.

But too skinny or too fat has little to do with that for me – I’ve dated all shapes and sizes. And I’ve been all shapes and sizes myself. My taste is all over the map when it comes to men, so physical attraction for me often comes down to an intangible quality.

I suppose something could develop over time with a friend. As I said before, my perceptions of someone’s physical attractiveness can change over time depending on how I feel about them. I think it would be possible to develop feelings for someone I might not have before, but we’re not talking about a traditional route to coupledom here.

Serious said:

touche!!

tinaz said:

I'm sorry, but Billy Ray now has one of those extreme faggoty type hairdos, and I still picture him as the trashy mullet grossness he was 15 years ago.

The bad hairdo burns itself into my mind's eye. It's really REALLY a problem with me.

And don't get me started on smoking while your hair is wet. oh lawd.

TheVoid said:

Yeah, but billy ray was and still is a douche!! Cant even use him for comparisons!!

tinaz said:

I completely agree with everything you say ! Maybe one day I will fall for a tall fat man with short hair, even though I doubt it. But if he is just tall or just not skinny or just has short hair then it could happen I guess. If he has the cutest smile or whatever for example .

tinaz said:

You know on the other hand I am already worried that David's hair might get too long pretty soon and won't look as beautiful anymore because it would be simply too long. And he would refuse to get it cut .

tinaz said:

Yes, me too. I have been out with quite different types, but there are definitley physical characteristics that I like (and perv over when I'm out and about)

Serious said:

Honey, there are ways to get a man to do what you want...

In all seriousness, I have dated some perfectly wonderful men but then they go and do something like give me a bottle of charlie perfume, when his name was charlie... So i had to dump him... So that tells me the feeling just wasnt there...

Then theres my husband... He has done somethings that make me go...WTF? But every year that passes i find I love him even more which is weird cuz how can one love someone more than they already do... But its true...We have both changed since we met... heck that was almost 25 years ago! And hes still as hot to me as the first time I saw him despite our changing bodies...

Love is all in the mind, the bodies are just the package that holds it...

tinaz said:

Really? A woman with a fine ass always draws me in.

TheVoid said:

But we're not talking about the haricut so much as what that haircut represents. It's kinda like me not wanting to date someone who only listens to death metal. What on earth would we have in common? I just don't find it attractive.

uPtoWnNY said:

But thats the draw, she could have a fine ass and be a total bitch... there still has to be the draw in, be it whatever...

So am I correct in assuming that somebody made a comment about the fact that Andy has the body of an Olympian (at least from the photos that I've seen. That's one hotass Asian.), and they made some kind of rude comparison between the two of you based on that?


Honestly, when people say shit like that it's probably because their jealous. They're trying to make you feel like you don't deserve what you've got, etc. etc.


Ignore them and go sleep with Andy. He looks like he'd be oh-so-good in bed. Yeah, ignore those fuckers and go sleep with Andy.

Lawd, I need to go find me an Asian to sleep with tonight.

TheVoid said:

What you have seen in pics of Andy is very true in how he looks.And yes I agree he is one HOT Asian...and he is very good in bed.

TheVoid said:

omg, is THAT what this is about?


Moni!!! You are an AMAZINGLY beautiful woman!!! Seriously. Any man should be THIRLLED to be able to show you off. And if he's not, then there's something wrong with him.

And if anyone else has something to say about it, it's none of their damn business. As Dan said, they've got a serious case of jealousy.

Thank you everyone for being so honest on this subject.

CarrieMpls said:

For the record, I don't know if this is what it's about.

But 6 years with my ex has taught me to sort of piece together clues and that's what I'm guessing it's about.

And I say it's jealousy. Why would somebody make a comment like that if not for jealousy.




People are douchey.

OMG Moni! Every pic I have ever seen of you is gorgeous! You have a beautiful smile, great hair, and dont even get me started on your boobs! Dont ever let some bitches make you think otherwise!! Plus you have a heart of gold and your a cornhusker! It doesnt get any better than that!