OK Im sure we have all dealt with this question before... and because i am a curvy person... I dont know how to respond to this even more so...

So I was talking to someone yesterday and they asked me

Do these pants make me look fat?(mind you i hate this question in general but its even worse when it comes from close friends and family)

I am such a sensitive to things like this because... like i hope you all know i am not a heart breaker or negative commenter(i prefer to keep harsh thoughts to myself).... I think everyone should enjoy life to the fullest and life is to short to tell someone they look a certain way... that might be there style and if they like it then thats fine ( as long as we dont have certain body parts hanging out in the public lol)

anyway this person was wearing pleather leggings .. i mean there made to hug the legs.. soo im like no they dont...im thinking to myself if you feel fat dont wear them they are made to show off those legs...(mind you this person is like 140lbs so of course to me they look awesome)

im such a sensitive to others emotions...I'll only let my opinion out when asked seriously by someone close that wants a true true opinion...

I just guess because ive always been a thicker curvy girl... growing up Ive always had my family on me about my weight. they would blurt shit all the time and cause me to be lets say a little more insecure about myself.. its hard for me to answer questions asked to me like that.. because i wouldnt want to hurt there feelings like that... just as well as i wouldnt want my ego shoved..

So i gotta ask you all have you been asked this question before?
how would you respond?
and what is your take on this question in general?

I answer: "I don't think it's the pants."

I have raised 2 wonderful daughters ~ and when we shop and they ask ... I give them my honest opinions ( ONLY when asked !! ) If their jeans do not fit nice and compliment their body ... I tell them ~ they have never seemed hurt and continue to ask me for my opinions so ...

Friends/peers asking ~ I usualy answer with the question ~ " you want my honest opinion or do you want me to say what you want to hear " then I answer accordingly


When we go "Jean" shopping I always joke around and say ... "do these jeans make my fat ass look fat !" ... we laugh and proceed

If you have to ask if something makes you look fat, chances are you already know they do...you just want an excuse to wear them anyway.

It's a bit like pulling off a plaster. If you tip toe around it, it can be more painful. Just steam in there, but be as tactful as possible, avoiding the word "fat" where you can.

The Wife hates it when someone asks her opinion on something, then doesn't like what they're told! She says "Arrgghh Mateys, don't be asking my opinion if ye canna be takin' to the truth!"

mcmeekle said:

Can I just add The Wife doesn't talk like a pirate. I just thought my post needed a bit of livening up.

mcmeekle said:

Mach said:

When someone says that to me, I usually feel like they might as well have hit me with a baseball bat.

what i do if ever asked that question while that person is still trying out clothes is simply suggest something that i think would look the hottest on them.

otherwise i'll just say they look fine. i hate pointing out/affirming flaws.

Efan said:

Honest opinions arn't alway negitive ... I tell them if they look hot too

But yeah, the cut, style, size, print, color, material type can make a huge difference in how a given article of clothing looks on a person.

Some clothing choices make people look better than others. Some make the person look down right bad. So a good honest question and answer can be helpful if handled carefully.

I don't say it makes them look fat, but I'll something like, "they just look really shitty on you, try something else".

It's not the pants, and they already know it's not the pants. So I'd rather be truthful without reminding them that they are fat.

I have never been asked that, but I always give an honest opinion, especially when it comes to clothes.

If someone asked me if they looked “fat” in a pair of pants I would either answer that they don’t look fat at all (if they don’t) or I would say something along the lines of “those pants really aren’t very flattering” and help them find something else in the store. Both are honest opinions and get across what the person is asking – do they look good on me or not?

CarrieMpls said:

Exactly

Mach said:

Ditto

ThreadCula said:

That's what I said.

JustErin said:

JustErin said:

Oh! I just read the last two posts...Ditto to you too or tres-ito...or whatever. I agree.

ThreadCula said:

It's what I said TOO ~ just we all used different wordings

Mach said:

You guys are just sweeter than I am.

JustErin said:

I dunno Erin ... only sometimes for me


I REALLY can be a mean ass mutha ... royal bitch

sometimes

Mach said:

Well, I'm never mean, I just don't say things as sweetly as some others do. But I'm not trying to be mean or hurt others.

Mach said:

Really Mach?

I think Erin is sweet. There's a difference between being mean and telling it like it is.

Or am I just seeing the good in everyone?

JustErin said:

yeah...straight to the point...thats what I mean

I've been trying to come up with an answer but I honestly don't think anyone has ever asked me that. I really dunno what I'd say.

JustErin said:

I guess that's what I mean by "mean" ~ I never intentionally try to hurt another but I know I sometimes may with my statements

ThreadCula said:

I guess it's all about perspective ...

Mach said:

mach there is not a ounce of you that i have seen that has anything negative to it!! your absolutely a sweet heart!

JustErin said:

I didn't read any responses before I posted.


But yeah - basically same thing.

Fortunately, most of my friends are smart enough not to ask. Maybe because we all know that 1) it's an unfair question and b) we'll give each other the unvarnished truth.