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PrintableMushanga said: Mushanga said: It really does, doesn't it...  I wish I could look that linger, slim and tight while standing up!  You should do more than just grab it btw.  nice to see that the boys don't have the market cornered on Org flirtation... everyone's a fruit & nut case | |
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Me.... I just paid bills
My bank account...YOUR BROKE BITCH!  ~~~~~ Oh that voice...incredible....there should be a musical instrument called George Michael... ~~~~~ | |
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I sent a note to an associate merchant, trying to get information on some product. Her reply...
Forwarding to Tyler. I don't do bottoms. I just bet you don't, honey! We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
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Genesia said: I sent a note to an associate merchant, trying to get information on some product. Her reply...
Forwarding to Tyler. I don't do bottoms. I just bet you don't, honey! | |
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Genesia said: I sent a note to an associate merchant, trying to get information on some product. Her reply...
Forwarding to Tyler. I don't do bottoms. I just bet you don't, honey! YES! | |
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Oh my God
My daughter, reassuring me when she noticed I was a little stressed and stretched thin: "Don't worry, the frosting will smooth out. That's a cake metaphor." 
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PunkMistress said: Me: [Daughter], have you been taking [asthma medicine] every day?
Daughter: Not every single day. Me: Take it every day. Daughter: Okay. Me: Or I'll punch you in the face. Daughter: ...okay. You are exactly the kind of mother I hope to be one day  | |
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Ottensen said: PunkMistress said: Me: [Daughter], have you been taking [asthma medicine] every day?
Daughter: Not every single day. Me: Take it every day. Daughter: Okay. Me: Or I'll punch you in the face. Daughter: ...okay. You are exactly the kind of mother I hope to be one day I didn't really punch her, you sicko! 
 | |
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Overheard at my office:
Co-worker: You can go to Google and type in some of the lines to see if anything shows up. Person on phone says something. Co-worker: Google. w-w-w-.-g-o-o-g-l-e-.-c-o-m and then hit search. The check. The string he dropped. The Mona Lisa. The musical notes taken out of a hat. The glass. The toy shotgun painting. The things he found. Therefore, everything seen–every object, that is, plus the process of looking at it–is a Duchamp. | |
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Not any of my own but I just have, since it's his 60th b-day, two Stevie Wonder quotes here.
Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle! and Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. - Stevie Wonder. | |
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2YO Daughter: in an extremely calm voice " i'm gonna get mad first and it's your turn to get mad, okay daddy? okay dad?
Me:  um. no. |
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magnificentSynthesizer said: 2YO Daughter: in an extremely calm voice " i'm gonna get mad first and it's your turn to get mad, okay daddy? okay dad?
Me: um. no. | |
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jone70 said: Overheard at my office:
Co-worker: You can go to Google and type in some of the lines to see if anything shows up. Person on phone says something. Co-worker: Google. w-w-w-.-g-o-o-g-l-e-.-c-o-m and then hit search.
And thanks for the Stevie quotes, NMusak.  | |
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TheVoid said: Me: Don't come near it. I'm cooking and the burners are on. I don't want you getting burned.
My nephews: Why? Mommy lets us do it. Me: Your mommy loves you more than I do and lets you do stuff. Understood? Oh my Jesus | |
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Playing super Mario world on Super Nintendo with my 8 year old daughter....
(After she falls down the hole during an easy jump) Me: Wow, you gotta have good aim to miss all those platforms and hit that hole.... (later in a failed effort to impress me) Her: watch this daddy! (Yoshi falls down the hole) (she falls down the hole immediately after) (failure) Me: well, that was awful nice of you to at least go in after him. | |
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FauxReal said: Playing super Mario world on Super Nintendo with my 8 year old daughter....
(After she falls down the hole during an easy jump) Me: Wow, you gotta have good aim to miss all those platforms and hit that hole.... (later in a failed effort to impress me) Her: watch this daddy! (Yoshi falls down the hole) (she falls down the hole immediately after) (failure) Me: well, that was awful nice of you to at least go in after him. cute man. blessings to you and your daughter. | |
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Emo Phillips : Hey hot stuff, wanna go make some whoopie?
Female: I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth. Emo Phillips: Well, if I was the last man on earth, you wouldn't even be allowed in line. | |
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A kid I made friends with on holiday and his dad.
Kid: Dad! Dad! Can I have some hot chocolate? Dad: But you don't like hot chocolate. Kid: I know, but I still want some! | |
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