Last thrursday night my sisters boyfriend, someone whom I had thought was a reasonably decent human being, wwent completely psychotic and violently attacked her and her children!!! He beat her so bad she has a black eye and quite a few bruises, a suspected broken nose. He also went after 4 of her children, grabbed her 7 year old daughter of the back of the truck and tried to throw her accross the ground until my sister grabbed her away. He then held my sister down on the ground, stomped on her hip, and finally, while holding her head down with his foor he held a CHAINSAW to her neck and TRIED TO START IT!!!! Thank the Lord the damn thing didnt start before the police got there
I still can't believe it...its like something out of a damn movie. He was arrested and charged but has been released..I assume waiting trial.
A couple of days after it happened she was on the phone to me giving me reasons as to why she thinks he lost it...WTF??? Her excuses were he had a friend die in his arms years ago and then there was an incident with his baby (not a child of hers). THATS NO DAMN EXCUSE!!! She claims she wont go back to him, she just wants him to get the help he needs I'll help the asshole all right!!!
She is also now pissed at me because I said something on facebook about it (didnt mention any names)..so i removed it
She said she's a big girl and she's over it...and I should get over it too Pardon me but WHAT THE FUCK???


Rant over

Oh my GOD!!! That's horrendous! It's also very frightening that she's quite calm about it. You'd think that the sight of her daughter being thrown across the ground by that bastard would be enough for her to want to cut the fucker into a million pieces.

I'm glad to say that I have never been in this kind of situation, but apparently it's quite common for a woman to try to come up with excuses for the violence she has suffered - personally, I don't think I could ever feel anything but loathing for someone who did this to me and my kids.

for you and your sister and I truly hope that she has the strength to go through the court case and get him put behind bars, where he belongs.

MrsGoodnight said:

Half the problem is that we grew up with this kind of violence. My fahter drank was too much and thought nothing of using my mother as a punching bag. Honestly some of the women in my family have made terrible choices when it comes to men. My marraige is on the way out but at least he isnt violent.

Well, I wanted to kill my ex yesterday too..

Thats awful Chilli


there is never any excuse for violence against a partner...especially when children are involved....


i hope they are all okay

chillichocaholic said:

zaza said:

wanting to and trying 2 are 2 different things...

zaza said:

U know thats not even funny right?

chillichocaholic said:

I know it's not funny. I was serious, but as Tracy said above, wanting to and trying to are two different things. I would never hit any girl or woman.

zaza said:

Yeah good point. I would like to throttle my husband at times...most of the time Wouldnt actually do it however

chillichocaholic said:

wouldnt we all

chillichocaholic said:

OMG! glad it didn't start thank god, wow.

is she living somewhere else now? somewhere he doesn't know bout with the kids?

chillichocaholic said:

Read all of this and you will understand http://prince.org/msg/100/333387

zaza said:

Back atcha

Hun, this is horrible!!! It sounds like your sister is trying to cope with the situation. I truly hope she and her children will be okay.

Quite a few years ago, on Easter to be exact, my sister's ex tried to kill her as well. He managed to lock my sister in their home, and proceeded to cut her all over her face, arms, neck etc... She went over to the home alone, to get the rest of her items and bring them to our Mom's place. He would have killed her if my Dad and I didn't show up to check on her. She now lives with a HUGE scar on her face that goes from the bridge of her nose to the bottom of her cheek. She doesn't talk much about what happened....

oh she's going to defend him it sounds like
how long is this guy gonna be the nice before does it again


ya my advice this is what im currently seeking folx like this or a group or something - don't start a fight with the abuser. just be nice as you can be.

i have one group that deals with alcohol and substance and domestic voilence.
I just started going so i don't know much about it i have papers from the other visit i took and i have another one to go to

and if they are the type to come after you and harass you then thats ganna be a different subject. i been cornered i been hit you name it.
[Edited 4/1/10 6:17am]

MoniGram said:

OMG Mon! Woooow! so sad, but glad she is alive. shame she has to live with a reminder of it . where is the guy now?

Anyone that uses violence towards someone they are "supposed" to love is a creep. Anyone that tries to hurt children, an even bigger creep.

Hope they are all ok.

Wow

Chilli

I have a mother that suffered at the hands of her boyfriends my entire life.
Domestic violence is NO JOKE.
The warning signs are there....
Seclusion from family and friends, possessiveness which gives a twisted sense of security for the victim, the unending attention she gets from him, and his passion.

Men that like to beat the fuck outta you don't walk up and slap you across the face when they meet you, they manipulate, they are charming, and wonderful awesome caring men that seem perfect in every way.

They go outta their way to make you feel special, you become their universe, and its quite beguiling, so the woman becomes enchanted and stays and puts up with the controlling behavior because they are insecure and need/want all the suffocating attention.

You can't make your sister leave him, she has to decide that for herself.
I would press the safety of her kids, because next time HE WILL kill her and her kids. You better believe that.

I had a knifefight to protect my mother from her abuser.... he waited until I was alone one day to try to jump me in my mom's home because he didn't like how I empowered my mom not to allow controlling behavior.
I would gop out with her with out his consent to the grocery store, and he would flip and I would check his ass... until one day he tried to hurt me too.
I was lucky I held two knives and cut his knee, he bled heavily as he ran away.
But he tried to kill my mother, and my sister and her children. The asshole is in jail, he murdered a 16yr old. boy, his girlfriend's teenaged son, the woman he moved onto AFTER being with my mom.

This man will aim for any strong female figure in your sister's life, and as long as your sister defends him, it is a sign that he still has a hold over her.

You have to convince her that her life is in danger, she doesn't realize this.
She may go back to him, get her to a domestic violence shelter ASAP and get her to disappear, he will not let her go, she is his lifeline and she believes he needs her.

This shit is so serious and please get her away for the sake of those kids. They ARE still in very real danger.

I am so sorry you guys are in this situation, I know all too well.

Wow.
Im so sorry to hear about this. I hope everything gets better from here on out.
What im concerned about is the children. Did they see him beat her like this? Did they see him put the chainsaw to her?


I ask this because when I was younger, I saw my father try to kill my mom and it has haunted me for years. Up until 3 yrs ago I had dreams about it. If they witnessed this please get them some help.

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this.

DanceWme said:

My dad did that to my mom as well. Always made sure I was there to watch. Just to humiliate her or some shit.


Sorry you had to endure that my friend.

DanceWme said:

^^^^ Those kids need counseling... they need to escape and be somewhere safe.
Is their a safe house were your sister and her kids can be where dude doesn't know about and will never find?

MoniGram said:

You guys are so brave, and this hurts me so deeply because the entire family suffers. I am so glad your sister survived her ordeal.

Not toward levity, but I can't wait until SCNDLS and Desiree walk up in here.

I don't have a lot of experience with women who've encountered completely unforeseen explosive instances like this, but I can only imagine that, assuming this guy hasn't been actively nurturing an ongoing abusive/codependent relationship, your sister's minimization of this could be part and parcel to dwelling in utter shock right now. That said, her ass needs to snap out of it... quickly! Whatever the "explanation," what happened wasn't just a slight bump in the road, but attempted second-degree murder.

It's good she suggests she won't go back to him, but it often is sooo easy to do so. You can't make up her mind for her, but please support her and remind her that even if she'll eventually be soft around protecting herself, her kids deserve better.

Lastly, I say this in half jest (SCNDLS, on the other hand, will be dead serious ), but this is a good reason that while I'm perhaps the doviest person I know, I suggest women keep some hardcore mofos on speed dial -- and let it be known that they do -- not for vengeance, mind you ("... thus sayeth the Lord" and all that ); but ain't nothing wrong with oversight.
[Edited 4/1/10 6:54am]

oh ya i've helped my sister in fights too.

im dealing with a family member who had a wife with alcoholism-she was raised by fighting cuz they were alcoholics themselves. so i guess the anger is being taken out on me

but ya i know whats it's like to feel your walking on eggshells

i have left a man also and never went back
[Edited 4/1/10 6:56am]

Lammastide said:

Her sister is still in love, and maybe afraid to leave him. He may have threatened to kill her and acted out on her because she made a comment to do just that.

Controlling men are like that. She will have to fight through, and yeah... she will need to keep a lynch mob on speed dial for sure.
[Edited 4/1/10 6:55am]