ZombieKitten said:

so, in your case, in order to make love, you also have to be in love?

sorry, but that's too 19th Century for my taste...

JoeTyler said:

the biggest thing would be discussing it beforehand.

i have been the gay expirement for a lot of straight guys when i was younger, and almost always behind the backs of their gfs, something that i will always have guilt for though it's not my relationship.

i am not terribly down with the idea of an open relationship (for reasons of safety of everyone involved), but when we are talking about something i am not engendered for, it's different. i have been with a few women, and it is a different experience from being with a man.

i would probably watch, and maybe participate, if they were okay with that. if he's just looking for somethign sordid and dirty, that would be fine too, but not wanting me there would make me think she might not be the only time he is going elsewhere.

JoeTyler said:

no, other way around
If I fuck someone (and I HAVE to be attracted to them to do it in the first place) I usually fall in love with them, my oxytocin levels spike in a major way, I can't really help it, I totally bond

ZombieKitten said:

first time I've heard it, but hey, to each his own

I'm like that too ZK

BklynBabe said:

it's a female thing, not all women are like that but a lot are I can guarantee it. Hormones are a wonderful thing

In a serious relationship it'd be unacceptable, admittedly there'd perhaps be less gravity, but forgive I wouldn't.

I think it would be cheating as well... But then theres that saying..."eatin aint cheatin"

I would be pissed.

Bitches I can compete with, cock...I can not.

JustErin said:

tinaz said:

RenHoek said:

I actually never heard that saying before

Cinnie said:

me neither, hence the

JoeTyler said:

anybody who cheats on me would get the boot...up the ass. and if they gay cheated then I might have to throw some hot grits on them. if they gay cheated on me while i was married to them then I would probably have to cut off an ear and wipe out their bank account; maybe even post that shit on facebook.

BklynBabe said:

If I feel attracted to somebody I fall in love with that man. So I am either in love or not attracted at all.

DesireeNevermind said:

Why is it worse?

Serious said:

me too gurls

Cinnie said:

Really? Poor boy

Cheating is cheating, and in my world it will not be condoned. I don't care if my mate did with a man, a woman, or a water buffalo...you either respect our committment to each other or you can kick rocks.

JoeTyler said:

Cheating is cheating and lying is lying. Speaking as a women who's been married for 24 years if your are "experimenting" at this late date, you've been lying to me and yourself (possibly) about who your are. If you are "experimenting" at anytime in the relationship, you haven't been honest with me or yourself, really.


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[Edited 5/3/10 0:05am]
[Edited 5/3/10 18:46pm]

RenHoek said:

I cant believe you guys havent heard that!

Fauxie said:

Because it is. Sure, the whole 'cheating is cheating no matter who' thing is true...but when they cheat with someone that has assets that you don't...well, that's just not fair and I'm gonna be ending it pretty quick.

infidelity is infidelity be it with the same sex, opposite sex, animal or apple pie.

TD3 said:

I'm surprised...

Fauxie said:

why is what worse?

TD3 said:

we need a :kickintheass: emoticon.

JoeTyler said:

I don't know why.

DesireeNevermind said:

It.

Being 'gay cheated', as you put it. Sorry, let me expand, for clarity. Why is 'gay cheating' worse than being the victim of regular hetero cheating?

Fauxie said:

Ahh I see.


Well let's be frank shall we? The incidence of HIV is growing among the females and it gets worse when you break it down by race; black and hispanic females getting infected at a faster rate than white women. This is primarily because of DL and drug behavior among the men. So for me being a female and a woman of color, I have to be extra careful plain and simple. I don't tolerate intravenous drug use at all but of course that's easier to spot than a man who gay cheats.

With men double dipping or gay cheating they are just increasing the risk of infection for themselves and their partners. Plus the activity in an of itself could be more high rish because a man is a lot more likely to hide his gay sex than his straight sex. He could possibly engage in sex with random strangers versus sex with a woman he actually has to pursue and seduce. Society is to blame for that. Guys can be womanizers and that's okay but let them chase man ass and it's a whole other animal so to speak. Now some folk are going to throw in "condom" use as this end all be all to protection from STDs. Let's be real...condoms break! There are millions of people in the world who were born because a condom broke. There thousands of folk every day getting diagnosed with HIV/AIDs because a condom broke. If I were to weigh the odds very carefully...I'd rather have to deal with an unplanned pregnancy (either mine or hers) than an incurable disease (all of us). Now the rates of HIV/AIDs transmission in comparison to other diseases like herpes is much much lower but again if one had a choice of diseases, I'm sure most people would choose the more treatable less compromising of the diseases.

And lastly, like a couple others have mentioned....if one is gay cheating then they have been lying to themselves and their partners and also they have created a situation in which the person they are with can never truly fulfill their needs simply because they lack the right equipment. This works both ways: men who cheat on women with other men and women who cheat on men with other women. I'm reminded of a guy I used to work with who was gay but cheated on his boyfriend with a woman because he wanted a child. Don't know whatever became of that guy or his relationship but this thread reminds me of it. This man came to work and spilled all the dirty goodies along with dumping a trash bag of clothes on to the lobby floor.