hey , ive had a rough weekend since im being threatened by my gf's ex bf.

situation is like this , she broke up with him for some reasons ( in february) and i knew him from school and we met at my friends house a couple of times , and when he was with her we didnt see eachother ( and before he met her we only saw each other a couple of times so its not that like we are close.


and she told him yesterday , that we are a couple now and he is threatening to kick my ass. i understand that he thinks this is betrayal but hey , she broke up with REASONS and like a year back i was about to date this girl and he fucked her back then and i didnt threat him or what ever.

what to do with such a person ? knowing him he will continue to haunt us for ages , and this guy is studying for social worker ( nice carreer choice huh )




give me your thoughts

Tough one.

It depends on your thoughts on what the "high road" might be.

Is is better to kick his ass, try and talk it out, or just taunt him into something stupid and have him busted.

I guess there's 3 thoughts. Is he a complete dolt or someone that could be reasoned with? Having an arrest record would certainly make it more difficult on him for future endeavors.

Despite him saying something to you, his real issue is with her. It's worse because he knows you, but ultimately he's lashing out at her, not you.

It's like fools on the Org - sometimes you just gotta let it go. As someone told me today, "Let them get parched waiting for a response that won't happen".

If he wants to TALK to you about it, let him say his peace. It doesn't mean you even have to respond with anything other than "Thank you for sharing your feelings with me". You don't owe him an apology.

I'd encourage her to do the same thing. Sometimes, as harsh as it seems, you just have to cut off communication and let the other person's anger eventually taper off. It's their demon, not yours. Of course, if it gets to the point of being dangerous, call the law on his ass. Save text messages, and emails for now. You'll need that paper trail dating to whenever. Print everything and just put it in a folder, so if the time comes, you have it. Same goes for voice mails.

Most people lash out because they feel slighted, and they don't feel they have some sort of justice in the matter. No one likes to feel disposable, and a breakup is one of the worst ways to feel that. But if they choose to handle it like a juvenile, then remember you're not there to rear or raise them. We grown ups in hea'!

He won't kick your ass, but you should expect some harassment for a bit. Doesn't mean it's right, just means it's probably what he will do. Out of sight, out of mind - don't respond to him; neither of you, if at all possible. It's a waiting game, but it could very well squelch a lot of it.

Mars23 said:

well , i know with this other girl that he had a love hate relationship with , and he kept herassing her all the time with his drunk ass.

i believe in karma , she broke up with him because he is possessive ,jealous etc. and i didnt do it op purpose , at first i was like i cant do this. she is his ex etc but hey , im not going to ruin my own good fortune.



beating his ass will not solve anything , he is not open for reasoning im for sure. i live in the netherlands and police would do something after i was hurt and didnt fight back. thats the stupid thing , if he hits i would go to the police and make sure he cant finish his school. if they dont take propper actions , then i probally be out of control .

its not that like im mike tyson or anything , im more like michael jackson ( lover not a fighter ) but im afraid to lose control, and i dont want that. i havent fought for ages , but its because i can lose control.
and not like ooh im going to beat him up. i just dont want to have a black out and do things i might regret

motownlover said:

Perhaps your girl could pursue some sort of restraining order against him. It seems like he has a pattern of harassment.

ernestsewell said:

im not sure about him not going agressive ways on me. if it was up to me , i would go ghandi on him
he doenst want to talk , he is just mad. he fucked this girl i was about to date and i didnt harras him so its says alot about his character.

if someone else was dating her , he would release his anger on him too, but because i know him he gets angrier.
whe he was dating her i didnt see him at all , and he fucked this girl i was wantin to get to know. s he shouldnt say what i do is not what friends do. since we werent that close to begin with . blergh

ernestsewell said:

I can relate! A former friend of mine was kicked out by his wife and couldn't accept my remaining close friends with her and not with him. Now my wife and I can't have any contact with her because he'll threaten us, harass her, and cause her stress she doesn't need as she tries to take care of their 5 month old baby (plus get back the money he stole from her). I can understand why it's hard for him to take, but she doesn't want to be with him. It has nothing to do with us, but still he lashes out at us when he should be concerning himself with his ex-wife and their baby. It sucks that she basically had to tell us to forget about her for a while but it's almost certainly for the best.

If you feel like you're in danger I'd call the cops. 'Cause duking it out is one thing but you know how fools can get. They'll bring out a gun for no reason.

pay my ticket and I'll come out and beat that ass for you brooklyn-style!!

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

co-sign x100000

I've seen dudes get shot over nonsense like this. Go to the cops and explain the situation.

The only good thing I've ever heard of coming from a situation like yours is the fornation of the R&B group JoDeCi! They were lucky...

I think you should report the ex.

Wait til after prom season's over. Let cooler heads prevail.

Kidding.

Threats and threatening behavior always sound like police matters to me...

Hershe said:

ive emaild the guy explaining my part of the story, and didnt go in to the threats or my profile of being friends.

btw i would love to report this guy but over here, you need to get your but kicked and dont defend your self. if someone would come in to your home and take stuff and you caught him in the act and hit him then you are wrong.

on a light note i was watching this imagine me saying to my self when i enter the ring i am god

motownlover said:

Well, don't take this the wrong way, but just hide when you see him if you have to.

Hershe said:

i was discussing this with a friend who told me , when are you ever going to run in to him. and when i ride home i heard him call my name. so pumped those pedals
im not in to that whole macho ordeal

ignore it...make sure she isnt fueling any flames by staying in any sort of contact with the guy...most "I'm gonna kick your ass" types are just talk...they're always "gonna" do something instead of just doing it...
make a report if you truly feel threatened...if you do have to defend yourself one day, that will be important...