HamsterHuey said:

he's crazy sexy, but so shy about it. it's adorable

HamsterHuey said:

Dave1992 said:

either you love that attention, or you've experimented. smart money would be on the former.

cborgman said:

You should START a photo whore thread, Stax, just to introduce yourself.

I promise it will be rewarding. Dan might even photoshop you, if he's enough.

CarrieMpls said:

Not in my experience. I've had several very close friendships with straight guys, and each of them decided they wanted to make it sexual. And in many instances, I said 'no'.

I've generally found that after becoming close friends with a straight guy, especially when they are not immediately aware that I'm gay, something shifts in their psyche and they feel the need to push it to a sexual conlusion.

I'm talking about straight guys here who have never really known a gay guy well before. This is what has happened on many occassions:

1) They meet me, don't realise I'm gay, and we become mates.

2) Because they don't realise, the customary, but subconscious, defining oneself in opposition to what one is not, doesn't kick in.

3) By the time they realise that I'm gay, this can't kick in as a bond has already been formed.

4) We become good friends, and talk about all sorts of stuff, especially sex as guys often do.

5) Something shifs in their psyche, when they realise that as well as being a good friend, I could also be more (something gay men have with each other all the time).

6) All men think with their willies, so eventually, they make a little leap of logic, and decide they may as well give it a go and they make a proposition.

7) I meanwhile, have enjoyed having a bit of platonic male bonding without all the usual sexual stuff getting in the way, so I don't want to get jiggy with them.

8) What happens next has varied over the years, but you can fill in the blanks.

All of the above, was with English guys. When I lived in Turkey, it was a whole different ball game. The sexual politics are very different there and there is a much bigger grey area to play with.

vivid said:

But that isn't you chasing them at all, then, so doesn't really follow what we were talking about.

And I'd argue that they're not really all that straight.

cborgman said:

Neither, really. I just think it's interesting to see that I also seem to have an effect on gay men. In fact, they seem to be more (bluntly) interested in me than most women would tell.

And I've never experimented with the same sex, nor do I think I will. I can't say now whether I'll change my mind someday or not, but for now I'm sure that I find women only attractive.

CarrieMpls said:

That's my point. It's the assumption that we do all the chasing that I was responding to.

You probably would argue that, and in response I'd have to say that then nobody is.

Fauxie said:

And if you want to nit-pick, my reply was a respons to this line in the OP, and to the number of time the 'gay' man's motives are questioned.

So there.

(Mod and God, they both have four letters...)
[Edited 4/27/10 6:02am]

vivid said:

Oh, I wouldn't argure that.

I get what you're saying. It just doesn't really apply to what I was talkin' about.

CarrieMpls said:

I meant the bit about them not being straight

I've had crushes on straight guys before but that was all it was. I never disrespected them in any way.

HamsterHuey said:

cborgman said:

Smoked me out all night is more like it.

"chasing".. that's funny.

Stax said:

that too. woulda smoked you all night in a different way, ifyaknowwhatimean

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

On the org, they're fun to flirt with.

In real life, no interest in them, and even find the American ones quite annoying sometimes.

vivid said:

OH.

Sure, I think there are a handful of people who identify as straight who will experiment once or twice and I think that’s maybe what you’re talking about here.

I think girls are WAY more likely to do that (and it’s certainly more socially acceptable, for right or wrong) and I think it’s way more likely to happen when you’re younger as well.

I’m generally about people choosing their own labels for themselves, but if a guy my age has a thing for or fools around with another guy, I personally would never describe him as “straight”.

And any guy that calls himself straight but repeatedly seeks out the company of men is not a hetero, he’s a closet case.

CarrieMpls said:

I agree with this. I have had straight male friends actually openly admit to having strange crushes on me they couldn't quite figure out.

But they were in their 20's.

I can't see that happening past 25 or so. I just can't.


But I've seen all sorts of strange things. I have a friend on facebook who said he was bi (some of you guys are friends with him too), but I've never actually seen him with a guy nor take any interest in a guy.


Sex is weird.

TheVoid said:

The german ones are okay

TheVoid said:

Sex with YOU is weird.

HamsterHuey said:

I do want to meet someone "real." And yeah, I'm infatuated with him at the minute - it's hard not to be. But I can't make any distinction on any level between gay men or straight men. I'm gay; I like men.

I sat down at work today, and within ten minutes, he was stroking my head. I'd trimmed my hair with the buzz-clippers the other night. He made some comment like, "Oh. You've cut your hair..." and then proceeded to stroke my head for a second or two. This was in full view of everybody. It just gets more and more touchy-feely every day.

And as much as I like the attention, it's starting to take over my thoughts. Negatively.

People are laughing at us now, but he seems unaware of this, or unwilling to register the fact. I don't want him to be laughed at, and I don't want to be responsible for him being laughed at.

GirlBrother said:

fuck them. even if he is just infatuated with you in a non-sexual way, or is just the friendliest str8 guy ever, fuck them if they are laughing at him or you.

Cinnie said:

I'm Austrian, though.

Let's work.

Flirting is one thing but if they actually fool around, the last thing they are is straight. If they actually fool around, they're bi. Sure, they want to continue considering themselves straight but that's because they're weak and want to experience the pleasure but don't have the balls enough to face the discrimination like we do.

Dave1992 said:

I meant Dan's boos from Germany.

Cinnie said:

I won't accept that, you know.

Dave1992 said:

Will you accept American Express?

Dave1992 said:

I meant, ahhh... "booze" .... yeh