So, I've quit my job. Last day is July 30th. I had decided to go back to school and take a 2 year course. Was going to bust my ass to get as much funding as I could (loans and grants) so I could try to keep my apartment while attending. All was starting to come together and then....

My parents tell me that they are considering moving away and if I am willing to go with them they could basically set me up with my own place (example we looked at online was a 1700 square foot new build house) so I could go to school in this other city and still be close to them. And I have two other brothers who live there as well.

Sounds pretty sweet, eh?

Except, this city is actually a small town that I spent 8 years of my life absolutely hating when I used to live there.

Now when I last lived there, I was a teen/in my early 20s...so my priorities are definitely different but I am really nervous that I will not be happy...not saying I definitely won't be, just concerned that I won't be.

I can understand why my parents want to go, their money goes a hell of a lot further out there and they could live a very, very comfortable retired life basically right on the ocean.

But, I know for a fact that they won't go unless my son and I go along. They just won’t. How's that for pressure?

What do you think? Would you at least give it a try?

I'd give it a try.

I think I'd go if I were you. I mean..what z hell right? You've already quit your job. You could do the 2 years of school there...and move after that.
how far away is it from where you currently are?

I'd give it a try

Btw, nice avvie

I think the most important thing to consider is what are your son's education and recreational options. It sounds kind of sweet.

TheVoid said:

Would you give it a try? I'd give to a try. The snakes balls truth is, anyone who asks a question in public always knows the answer they want. It doesn't matter what anycunt says or advises here. The decision's already been made.

A free ride while you attend school?

One word: go.

It's about 900 miles away. And, in my opinion, out in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.


Pros are:

-I already have several friends there
-Immediate family (and some extended fam) is there
-My son would finally have some cousins his age to be around
-They have an H&M!

Cons are:

-I'd be going from a city with a population of a million to a city of under 130 thousand people. That's a big change.
-Past experiences, I do not look back at that city with any fond memories

Number23 said:

In my case it really hasn't been made. I really am torn.

Do it ~ go


at least try


Best Wishes !

I can see your dilema.

I'd also say go. You've already said you were going to make sacrifices to go to school.

Having already lived there, you know what your son is facing, so you'll be able to help him cope with any adversity.

You'll have a great support system while you are there going to school and some finacial needs covered.

It doesn't have to be for the rest of ya'll's life, just to get through school and open some other doors for you.

I think it depends on what your priorities are.

Do you think you're going to have time between school and taking care of your son to have much of a social life? (When I was in grad school, I worked 20+ hours/week and was at the library every weekend from 11am/12pm until 11pm/midnight. Of course, maybe your program won't require that.) If not, then does it really matter if you don't live in a super fun place?

Do you think you could save a lot of money while there? If so, you could just suck it up, save money, finish the course (could you go in the summer to finish more quickly?), and move to wherever you want. Also, if you move and you absolutely 100% hate hate hate it, just finish the semester/year and move early.

(My first semester of grad school I had a tiny panic where I was asking myself what the fuck possessed me to think I could make it in grad school. I promised myself I would finish the semester and then decide what to do. And each semester got easier after that...)

Number23 said:

Well, if I had a child, I would consider it of course. There might be a college nearby which you can still attend--employers seldom care what college you get your degree from (hell, some don't even have a clue if the college is accredited or not).

The problem I see is that she's obviously lived near or in a big city for a long time. The "local" town charm of the people wears off VERY QUICKLY when you're used to big city folks. I found it almost intolerable to speak with some of the locals in Alabama. The beautician giving me a haircut didn't even know what a "Ironic Mullet" or a "fashion Mullet" was. Bitch, please.


So yeah... it's complicated. I can't just give it an endorsement. There are a lot of factors to consider. But they should probably revolve around her son. Will he have access to museums? A good education? Recreational activities? You don't want him being a teenager with nothing to do and hangout out at the Burger King parking lot on weekends... kids get in trouble that way.

Knowing you, this is already in the forefront of your mind, but what would be best for your son?

Look at that first, then weigh what’s best for you.

I can see your hesitation. I’m not sure I could up and move to a town that small. And if you had such a hard time, I can see not wanting to bring your son there…

JustErin said:

I harbored such resentment when I had to go back to the town I grew up in. I was picked on relentlessly by the racist ass folks there, and when I think of those years, I get angry.

But going back, I realize things had changed dramatically. Plus being an adult changes your perspective on things. So many years had passed that it was an eye opening experience. Being that you're old as hell now too, it probably will be the same for you.

I would try it, you said it yourself your priorities are different now, so you might look at the city in a different way. Might be good for you and your son, and help you focus on school, which helps you both.

Wish you the best of luck in your choice.

JustErin said:

Just bloody go. You know that time you went with your old pals to a club you used to all go to and loved when you were young - but now it just gave you all a really shitty, odd, out-of-synch vibe? It wasn't the club. Club's just rhe same bricks, mortar, lights, drinks and arseholes it always was or will be. The problem is your old friends. Club never changed. The club doesn't actually exist except for a magnetic north in your head for lost hopes, looks and loves. Just like this wee place next to the sea doesn't exist. What I'm saying is - anything - as as clitched as it sounds, is what you make it. If you only had a cell you better make sure your books are good. Pack your bags and fuck off. It will refresh and rejuvinate you, I'm sure.

Number23 said:

Dude, small towns in the New World are nothing like that lovely Island you live on. It can really suck.

I would give it a try. It's only for 2 years and you could save a lot of money if you go there. It might also be a good experience to find out how you see it different now that you return there. I am living in a city with nearly 2 million people and I was living in the middle of the tropical rain forest for half a year recently. The next small village of 350 people was half an hour away and the next bigger city with an internet cafe or pharmacy 2 1/2 hours. My favourite hobby is shopping and I love being in a big city and always was living there, but I still got used to the life there quite quick. You say that you have friends and family there, so I cannot imagine it to be that boring especially if it is only for some time.

Everybody.....everybody knows

When buttfuck nowhere calls....

you got to go.

TheVoid said:

Mate, I currently live in a tiny, clostrophobically colloquial village next to the sea, just like where Erin's surely destined to end up. Only she'll have the cunting weather. Sunny days make everything better. Unfortunately, we've only ever had four in Scotland. And none in my lifetime. Still, I'm a happy-go-lucky bastard of a cunt. That's what I'm trying to say. Your siurroundings are an illusion, or more correctly, a delusion. Self-projected too! You can feel the warmth off my posts I'm sure. Happy, happy, happy.

Number23 said:

Another brilliant post.

TheVoid said:

Not really. It was poorly constructed, badly spelled and wasn't funny. A little disturbing in a funny-weird type of way too. I know I'm not doing myself any favours. If I wasn't me and read that post back I'd see a guy really blunt, course language and a passive/aggressive attitude for very little total effect. A bit like the hateful pensioner who saves up her piss for when the homehelp lady is changing her elastic trousers.

Number23 said:

What I mean is, what does any form of aggression really achieve in the end?

i'm sorry Erin

Mars23 said:

I love how everybody thinks a "town" of 130,000 is small! shit that's a city in my book. The biggest city in NH has about 108,000...there's night life, malls, resturants, big event arena...I mean damn. not to mention crime.
I live in a town of.....1800 people and I'm still only 15 minutes away from all the things I mentioned above.

The path of least resistance.....often leads 2 a DEAD end.

Graycap23 said:

That's what this is for:

Shorty said:

Not all small towns are created equal. I have certainly visited small towns I found to be quite liberal and charming.

I grew up in a fairly small suburb and even if I inherited the coolest house on the planet I’d never consider going back to live there. And it’s a big old DRAG to have to travel for any amount of time to get to where you really want to be.