Life is really f-ed up sometimes..

I don't even believe in all those things people say, because last two weeks were full of lies..and I hate insincerity.

To be honest: I was thinking about suicide, just to escape all those lies and fake plastic faces around me, but then I've realised life is truly beautiful. And I don't want to hurt people I love. People just need to open their eyes to see those nice little things to really enjoy their lives.. Do I believe in God? Yes, I believe this "God" is some cosmic power..or, just like Herman said, THE NATURE. I love it - forests, hills, trees, flowers..isn't it lovely? Of course it is..

Break up is really such an ugly thing..you can add to that some stupid seminary works and May full of exams I can't really make, so-called "friends" with their mouths full of lies - you will got this big piece of shit. And it stinks..

You orgers are wonderful people..I've met some amazing souls - Tina, Tracy, Hamish, Mihad, Andrea, Michael..and the list goes on..you all gave me something very important - SUNSHINE. I love you all. I love you even more than my real-life friends..

Am I just another fool? Yes..I am. But take some time and tell this lonely and empty soul something nice..

zaza said:

Zaza when I came on here you were one of the first people who carried a convo with me. your personality has always sparkled to me your a beautiful soul dont change for anyone your perfect the way you are

love ya,

cortney
[Edited 4/13/10 10:20am]

insatiable3 said:

Thank you..you see, I hardly know you, I've never met you in my life, but you are much better than all those people I know..

zaza said:

thank you thats very sweet

Damn, I don't even know how I would like to end my life..razor? Nah, I hate blood..I don't have a gun..and I'm afraid of heights.. Now I can see that people who commited suicide were going through some really though decision - It seems like suicide is not easy thing to do. It's not easy to leave all those f-ers alone in this world.

The worst thing is - that bitch doesn't care..

zaza said:

why would you even think about something like that its not worth it!! you have alot going for you !! keep your chin up you will find that perfect person for you ! i promise!! life is hard sometimes in my case a lot of times and there are quite a few cruel people you just have to shake your head and bypass all of that tommorow is another day it will get better i swear!

insatiable3 said:

It looks like I know only cruel people..when that person broke up with me, NO ONE OF MY REAL LIFE FRIENDS TOLD ME ANYTHING NICE. That's sad..

zaza said:

Orgnote.

zaza said:

I met a guy who shot himself in the head, intending to kill himself, but only succeeded in making himself a quadriplegic. He's in a wheelchair and is unable to wipe his ass, never mind kill himself.

PunkMistress said:

Oh lawd..

Hell, naw! I just really read through what you wrote!




Hang on, I'll write you an orgnote.
[Edited 4/13/10 11:03am]

84 views and only four people in this thread? Well, just..wow..

And thank you, Dave, PM and PD2009..

Okay.

You are such a kind and sensitive soul and you have to realise one thing. Constantly repeating and saying such things to oneself is dangerous. You know why? Because your brain will take everything you imagine as real seriously and it will eventually become real.
Fear, sorrow, nervousness ... - imagine them as square boxes that don't have enough energy. They need extra energy. Always. Because they are destructive. Every time you try to leave those boxes they will do everything to drag you back. They need you, but you soooo don't need them. How do you cope? Imagine them as little squary creatures with funny legs and arms that are trying to intimidate you. Things that look something like this are trying to rule your life:




Can something like this make you wanna hurt yourself physically? You wanna give all those things that make you feel awful that much power? I don't think you do.

Don't try to fight it. Say: "I'm feeling lonely/sad/afraid/whatever. Okay." Everything happens so that you can understand which energetic field you're in and get out of them if they are destructive
- it's not good to think in those dimensions. How do you get out? Stop giving them power. Accept everything. That's how you will break the chain!
Another important thing - try not to adore or hate people. Both these things are not good for you because they will make a bond between you and that person. Try to be at peace with as many people as possible. Otherwise, you give them energy. The same energy that you need.
Also, with this attitude you can only attract somebody who is on the same level. Someone who is in the same fields as you are. People from other fields will never notice you, but also, you will never notice them. Victims attract victims.

There is nothing you can't do. You can be happy and fullfilled. Just don't force anything. Forcing will never get you there.

All you need is in your head. You have the key to everything. You are wonderful. Don't let anything/anyone but you create your days.

Aelis said:

Wow..this is so sweet of you. You should go and study psychology, Andrea..

I guess you know what my problem is - I adore and I hate people..and when I give love to someone, I'm expecting the same in return..

You're such a wonderful soul..

Zaza, you're wicked. I think you're great. You have gorgeous eyes and a fab sense of humour. You have cheered me up on a number of occasions.

I really hope you are smmiling again soon.

Life is totally shitty sometimes but the way I see it, you have to have the bad times to fully appreciate the good times. I know you'll have some awesome times ahead of you.

florescent said:

You orgers are probably the best company I've ever had..

zaza said:

My advice would be to focus (at least at the moment) on your studies and the exams - you need some distraction from that drama related to the breakup.
And after the exams you ought to do something fun with your friends and enjoy your summer break - who knows, perhaps this summer will be the summer of love for you.

Anyway, I hope you manage to stay away from self-destructive thoughts like the ones you described - you're young and you've got plenty of time to live your life and plenty of time for you to find the "girl o' your dreams" (Prince reference).

Zaza, sorry you're going through this. You're a sweet guy. The only thing I can say is heartbreak really is temporary. Keep your chin up and soon you'll gain enough perspective on this entire situation to realize how lucky you really are.

Feel better soon.

purplehippieonthe1 said:

You know what is sad? Sad is that I know you all are right..

Efan said:

PunkMistress said:

Me too. It is never a good thing.
Zaza, I know you have heard it before but we have all been there.
We have all had our hearts ripped out and stomped on.
It SUCKS but it does get better.
Take it from someone old enough to be your momma.

MrsMdiver said:

And what about those "friends" I'm surrounded by at uni?

zaza said:

Be the better person, the better person that you are.....
Just be yourself.
I am no one to give advice really. I certainly do not have all of the answers but just rely on your friends.
Your real friends. The true ones.

zaza said:

I was asleep, I live in a different time zone!!

There is nice people everywhere, the more you give out, the more it comes back to you. And you know this, you are one of the most popular people on here.




A long message is coming from me, but not on here

mostbeautifulboy said:

I still can't see why do you all think I'm one of the most popular orgers..I'd say for example Johnart is much more popular and there are people who hardly recognise me. Popularity sucks, it's better to be unknown..sometimes

I'm looking forward to that message

And f those time zones
[Edited 4/13/10 13:08pm]
[Edited 4/13/10 13:09pm]

zaza said:

If Dan loves you, that makes you org popular.

MrsMdiver said:

hey, don't even think or talk about killing yourself! you have so much to offer this world. my uncle "kim" (he's who i'm named after) killed himself, he was depressed over losing his job and other things, and shot himself. this was the year before i was born, and it still haunts my mother to this day! she was very close to him, and she has NEVER been able to get over his death. there were times when i was deeply depressed and lonely for many years of my teens and early 20's off and on. then i decided to put myself into volunteer work, and making life have a purpose and meaning in my life. and this is when everything turned around for me. and when i wasn't looking to meet anyone to date, i turned around and there he was, my soulmate. so don't give up, don't give into the sad, depressed thoughts, because tomorrow is another day, and there is so much more you can do.

Maybe its time for an Org drinking weekend in Czech republic.