Fauxie said:

Mega dittoes.

Fauxie said:

As it should be.

But speaking about some of the men I know, they married because their families expected them to and most of them were simply not ready for it.

But other men I know married because they truly wanted to spend the rest of their lives with their wives.

JustErin said:

Yeah, it's no picnic sometimes, but that goes for any long-term relationship. I guess you could say there's added gravity to it once you've signed that paper but I really don't see that much of a difference. For example, I lived with my now wife for over 5 years before we got married. We were already like a married couple so all it did was make it official. Before we were married we had our ups and downs. After, the same. Why do guys get married? Well, why do you guys have girlfriends? Why do guys have long term relationships? I got married because I was happy with the person I was with and comfortable with being with them only. The same could be said about when we were just starting out, or a couple of years in and living together.

Fauxie said:

So basically...she tricked ya! j/k

I guess my question would be why would a guy NOT want to?

Marriage isn't something I ever really thought too much about as a young adult, but meeting someone you find attractive, that you get along with, that makes you happy, then living with them and finding the positives outweigh any inevitable negatives and being comfortable with the thought of being with solely that person forever, confident that it'll last, secure in the love being strong and mutual, whyever would you not?

I know you can't just snap your fingers and get that situation, but upon finding you do, it makes perfect sense, no?

Fauxie said:

It doesn't really make sense to me.

I have no intention to leave my girlfriend and we've been together for 12 years, but I just don't see why we should get married. If you believe in the institution or you believe in god, or are having kids, then fine. But I don't see why that has to be a next logical step. It seems sort of like getting baptized--a little outdated & not something I believe in.

well, maybe for the cookware
[Edited 4/19/10 17:21pm]

I forced my husband to marry me and if he ever trys to leave me i'll kill him


that's just how I roll

I guess my question would be why would a guy NOT want to?

Fauxie said:

Speaking for myself, there's no woman on this planet worth giving up my freedom(and possibly half my hard-earned money) for. I can get up when I want, go where I want, do what I want and not have anyone nag me. I'm basically a loner - the only folks I deal with are family and close friends. Last thing I want to do is be around her family and her friends. Not fun. Romance, love - boring and corny, imo. I'm too stubborn and set in my ways - getting hitched wouldn't be fair to either of us. But I'm always upfront with girlfriends. I tell them if you're looking at me as a potential husband/father, find another guy.

Nothing worse than ending up in a situation you don't want to be in and aren't comfortable with.

Fauxie said:

Speaking for myself, there's no woman on this planet worth giving up my freedom(and possibly half my hard-earned money) for. I can get up when I want, go where I want, do what I want and not have anyone nag me. I'm basically a loner - the only folks I deal with are family and close friends. Last thing I want to do is be around her family and her friends. Not fun. Romance, love - boring and corny, imo. I'm too stubborn and set in my ways - getting hitched wouldn't be fair to either of us. But I'm always upfront with girlfriends. I tell them if you're looking at me as a potential husband/father, find another guy.

I forced my husband to marry me and if he ever trys to leave me i'll kill him


that's just how I roll

Fauxie said:

Yep, and I've seen too many men(and women) get married when it wasn't for them in the first place.

uPtoWnNY said:

Definitely never something to be taken lightly.

NDRU said:

Yeah, I do get that. I'm not too different to you though, in that I lived with my wife for over 5 years before we married. We'd known each other 7 years by that time. We were already like a steady, married couple and clearly happy with the idea of being together forever. Where you're thinking you don't see why you need to, I thought I don't see why I need not. I guess thinking about it more, and remembering how we were never in any rush to get married, I may not be so pro-marriage after all. I mean, nothing really changed, it just seemed the logical, natural thing to do, not to mention it felt like time to get the two sets of parents together. I wouldn't say we felt any pressure though, I should add. I guess at some point it just felt like time... like, why not? Let's do it, make it official. I will say it was the most fun I've ever had in my life, seeing our parents sitting there together on the day, trying to communicate with each other. For that alone it was worth it. I'd be remiss to ignore the practical element for me too. It's just a fact that my getting married allows me to get a better visa, so not getting married and incurring extra financial costs, having to spend more time away with visa issues, was definitely a factor that tips otherwise pretty much identical situations in the favour of getting married. Similarly for Mon it makes it easier for her to travel to the UK.

.
[Edited 4/19/10 17:47pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Here we go!

Spoken from experience, no doubt.

Fauxie said:

Speaking for myself, there's no woman on this planet worth giving up my freedom(and possibly half my hard-earned money) for. I can get up when I want, go where I want, do what I want and not have anyone nag me.

I'm basically a loner - the only folks I deal with are family and close friends. Last thing I want to do is be around her family and her friends. Not fun. Romance, love - boring and corny, imo. I'm too stubborn and set in my ways - getting hitched wouldn't be fair to either of us. But I'm always upfront with girlfriends. I tell them if you're looking at me as a potential husband/father, find another guy.

There are a couple reasons it might be nice to get married. For one, even after living together for over 10 years, somehow we aren't thought of as a couple in the same way my married siblings are. Other people respect marriage, even if we don't. If there are two guest rooms and one has a queen bed and one has two twin beds, my married brother gets the queen bed--or at least he did years ago and my girlfriend loves to remind me of it

Also, the getting of the two families together was something that definitely appealed to my GF, especially once she found out her dad was sick. Weddings are about the only time that happens.

I commend you for this - too many people get married when it's clearly not for them. Not just marriage, either. Too many people just plain don't take responsibility for their lives. It looks like you do, and you enjoy your life on your terms. That's how it should be.

PunkMistress said:

Gotta do what makes YOU happy, not FAMILY or FRIENDS. I've seen too many good women settling for less because they wanted companionship/family, and I can tell they're not truly happy. Same with some of my male friends. I always hear "Oh I had my fun, now it's time to settle down". They settle down, and eventually try to do what they did when they were single - that's when the trouble starts, and they cry to me how miserable they are. Unreal.

They only way I'd even entertain the thought of getting hitched is separate residences. Now what woman would go for that?

And your friends are idiots. You shouldn't marry because you've had your fun and now it's time to settle down. You should marry because a life with the person you're marrying will be more fun than your single life! Why the hell would you willingly put yourself in a situation that guarantees your life will be less enjoyable?

PunkMistress said:

That's what I'm saying, but look at the divorce rates in this country. Lot of folks just don't get it.

now for the guys who are happily married...congrats keep it up

for the single guys...why would u do it? over half end in divorce, you usually get kicked out your own house, lose half of whatever you achieved while you were married, have to pay alimony/child support, and everything will be your fault.
women are brought up to get ready for marriage, whereas men are taught to avoid it until you have to do it...
whyyyyy?

Fury said:

I guess cuz single pussy won't cook for you.

phunkdaddy said:

That's why they invented the George Foreman Grill.

uPtoWnNY said:

You can't eat Turkey Burgers every day.
Every once in a while you want some potato salad,collard greens,
and rotisserie chicken and i ain't talkin bout that shit out
the grocery store.

uPtoWnNY said:

You can't eat Turkey Burgers every day.
Every once in a while you want some potato salad,collard greens,
and rotisserie chicken and i ain't talkin bout that shit out
the grocery store.