I have a lot to cover in this thread, so I guess I’ll just get started.

In 1989, the deadliest tornado in world history struck Bangladesh and killed 1,300 people. It killed roughly twice as many people as the 1925 Tornado that ripped through the USA killing 685 people, lasting 3.5 hours, and leaving a 219 mile long scar in the tri-state area. Tornados can occur at any time in the year, despite being known as a spring phenomenon.

Now, that you understand the power of tornados, let’s talk about an important gas:

Methane is a gas that is common in the Universe, but extremely volatile. The sun’s UV rays will breakdown methane and destroy it; ergo, methane must be replenished continuously through volcanic activity or biological activity. It is one reason why scientists are so excited about Mars, which doesn’t appear to have any recent volcanic activity, but does appear to have localized plumes of methane near what appear to be vents with recent liquid water activity.
Methane is a powerful greenhouse gas, and can change the average temperature of a planet quickly.

But this is not a chemistry thread, so let’s move on to a very important animal:

I want to talk about dust mites. As those of you who read my relatively informative dust mite threads in the past know, dust mites occur everywhere in nature, but their populations are easily controlled in nature due to sunlight, heat, natural predators, and other environmental factors. However, in the human home, dust mites are provided a relatively stable environment to grow and prosper. In other words, we humans are breeding dust mites in the millions per household.

There are thousands of them crawling all over your skin right now! And as previously stated, they are more difficult to kill than Sarah Palin’s media career. You can soak your cloths and sheets in Clorox, and they’ll survive!
They move about your body with relative ease. They have a very primitive digestive process in which they actually puke a liquid on dead flakes of skin (and other material on your body) and let the juices digest the skin, before the slurping that goo up like a whore in a Throat Gagger’s porno video. And they also release their fecal matter all over your body causing skin irritation if you do not frequently shower. The next time you’re having a bad day and think that the world is shitting on you, just remember: YOU ARE LITERALLY BEING SHITTED ON ALL DAY LONG. Dust mites don't play.

OK, those of you Einsteins reading this have come to the
obviously conclusion, and have foreseen the reason why I wrote about all of these seemingly unrelated topics in one thread: Dust mites produce tons of methane which affects our weather, and kills us! Though it is almost impossible for me to prove this, and I’m almost hoping graycap23 or XxaxX will be able to back me up on this, it’s not entirely inconceivable that dust mites may be behind Super Solar Flares, each with the ability to wipe out all communication on earth and send us back into the dark ages—not being able to tune into wheater.com to get the latest news on hurricanes and tornadoes created by dust mites would be their last, endearing mark on mankind.
Dust mites will fuck you up.





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[Edited 4/21/10 11:34am]
[Edited 4/21/10 11:35am]

JerseyKRS said:

!!!

skates!

JerseyKRS said:

I love that shit.

PurpleRighteous1 said:

Fine, fine. But did you learn something from this thread? I know you did.

my ADD is on level orange i cant make it passed the first lines boo.but i love this thread

I'm fully aware of this, but it is not my fault the wang is so close to the asshole.

TheVoid said:

it's true, ya'll. see, what happened is that our planet was invaded a loooong time ago by hostile aliens who want to steal our water. they landed back in the 1950s in what is now known as area 51.

but as it turns out the aliens (dustmites) are these teensy weensy little things who cannot really affect us here on earth, seeing as they are so little. this, in turn, makes them really really angry because they do have superior technology, but it's so small we don't even notice

so, the angry, hostile aliens content themselves with infesting our bedding, sneaking up our noses while we sleep, and other such mischiefs.

i saw dust mites in the title and knew it was you Dan

i hate those damn things

i cleaned the blinds on the weekend, and half an hr later, rugrat was all watery eyed...damn things

prb said:

TheVoid said:

ewwww that cardy would be full of em

prb said: