1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
that's cos they're affectionate to anyone
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
and not trained to keep a stranger out of your house.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
they didn't feel it while they were doin it.
4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
and THEN they feel guilty.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
and if you don't let them, and they shit, they look guilty again... FOR YOUR FAULTS
6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)
whut do you call it when it's HUMPIN your leg and sniffin your visitors crotch.
7. You can train a dog.
now if you could just housebreak a woman
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
and still there are certain things you CAN'T make it stop eating.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
but you can make it sick as fuck
10. Dogs understand what "no" means.
doesn't mean it pays attention.
11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
and it kisses any and everything it sees: other dogs asses,
a pile of shit on the walk, your toilet seat, everything it eats, the list goes on and on...

14) Dogs won't keep hinting that maybe you and your best friend could pet him at the same time...