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Printablekimrachell said:  hey, don't even think or talk about killing yourself! you have so much to offer this world.  my uncle "kim" (he's who i'm named after) killed himself, he was depressed over losing his job and other things, and shot himself. this was the year before i was born, and it still haunts my mother to this day! she was very close to him, and she has NEVER been able to get over his death. there were times when i was deeply depressed and lonely for many years of my teens and early 20's off and on. then i decided to put myself into volunteer work, and making life have a purpose and meaning in my life. and this is when everything turned around for me. and when i wasn't looking to meet anyone to date, i turned around and there he was, my soulmate. so don't give up, don't give into the sad, depressed thoughts, because tomorrow is another day, and there is so much more you can do.   I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle 
Even thought I might think about suicide, I would never done that..I just don't want to hurt my grandmother by killing myself. I just need some time to see some things from another side of view.. Thank you, Kim | |
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mostbeautifulboy said: Maybe its time for an Org drinking weekend in Czech republic.
 Nah, I don't drink..  | |
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zaza said: mostbeautifulboy said: Maybe its time for an Org drinking weekend in Czech republic.
Nah, I don't drink.. Yeah, but I do!! My name is Naz!!! and I have a windmill where my brain is supposed to be.....
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zaza said: Aelis said: Okay.
You are such a kind and sensitive soul and you have to realise one thing. Constantly repeating and saying such things to oneself is dangerous. You know why? Because your brain will take everything you imagine as real seriously and it will eventually become real. Fear, sorrow, nervousness ... - imagine them as square boxes that don't have enough energy. They need extra energy. Always. Because they are destructive. Every time you try to leave those boxes they will do everything to drag you back. They need you, but you soooo don't need them. How do you cope? Imagine them as little squary creatures with funny legs and arms that are trying to intimidate you. Things that look something like this are trying to rule your life: 
Can something like this make you wanna hurt yourself physically? You wanna give all those things that make you feel awful that much power? I don't think you do. Don't try to fight it. Say: "I'm feeling lonely/sad/afraid/whatever. Okay." Everything happens so that you can understand which energetic field you're in and get out of them if they are destructive 
- it's not good to think in those dimensions. How do you get out? Stop giving them power. Accept everything. That's how you will break the chain! Another important thing - try not to adore or hate people. Both these things are not good for you because they will make a bond between you and that person. Try to be at peace with as many people as possible. Otherwise, you give them energy. The same energy that you need. Also, with this attitude you can only attract somebody who is on the same level. Someone who is in the same fields as you are. People from other fields will never notice you, but also, you will never notice them. Victims attract victims. There is nothing you can't do. You can be happy and fullfilled. Just don't force anything. Forcing will never get you there. All you need is in your head. You have the key to everything. You are wonderful. Don't let anything/anyone but you create your days. Wow..this is so sweet of you. You should go and study psychology, Andrea..
I guess you know what my problem is - I adore and I hate people..and when I give love to someone, I'm expecting the same in return.. You're such a wonderful soul.. I have noticed you tend to go extreme somehow. The thing is, you have to meet somebody to know if you really love them. Try not to idealise people, it usually leads to disappointment. IMO true love is when you accept the whole person, and in order to do that you have to meet her. Then, when you really like her it will at least make sense to give so much. As far as destructive feelings are concerned, I can name so many people that simply disgust me, for example. But, I have started to realise they will never be where I am, mentally, and that they will only affect my life and reality if I allow them to. And the thought of me allowing them to mess with my life is horrible. And that's exactly what would happen if I would think of them the whole time. I refuse to do so. I may not alwas succeed, but I'm getting there. And, I already told you that, do what makes you happy as much as you can. Take time to enjoy yourself and to grow through music or whatever makes you feel good. That state of mind is priceless. I would sell my soul if I could dance more often, if I had the time and, even more important, the place to do that. The best ideas come when you are in that state of mind, when you do what you enjoy doing. Thank you  | |
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mostbeautifulboy said: zaza said: Nah, I don't drink.. Yeah, but I do!!  | |
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mostbeautifulboy said: zaza said: Nah, I don't drink.. Yeah, but I do!!  | |
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Aelis said: zaza said: Wow..this is so sweet of you. You should go and study psychology, Andrea..
I guess you know what my problem is - I adore and I hate people..and when I give love to someone, I'm expecting the same in return.. You're such a wonderful soul.. I have noticed you tend to go extreme somehow. The thing is, you have to meet somebody to know if you really love them. Try not to idealise people, it usually leads to disappointment. IMO true love is when you accept the whole person, and in order to do that you have to meet her. Then, when you really like her it will at least make sense to give so much. Well, you are right about me going extreme sometimes. But this was a different case. She really loved me, but suddenly everything went wrong for no real reason. And then all those lies.. Thank you
You don't have to..I thank YOU | |
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zaza said: mostbeautifulboy said: Yeah, but I do!! Don't listen to me, I'm not as thoughtful and Aelis. Listen to her, that was some very good advice  My name is Naz!!! and I have a windmill where my brain is supposed to be.....
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mostbeautifulboy said: zaza said: Don't listen to me, I'm not as thoughtful and Aelis. Listen to her, that was some very good advice  Andrea is such a lovely person. | |
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zaza said:[quote] Aelis said: Well, you are right about me going extreme sometimes. But this was a different case. She really loved me, but suddenly everything went wrong for no real reason. And then all those lies.. Thank you
You don't have to..I thank YOU I will not say anything further as I don't know enough about that story. I just think that without really knowing a person, you can't say you love them. Sometimes it does turn out that somebody really is as wonderful as you thought they would be, but mainly it doesn't. IMO that's what's behind so many failed marriages, that people tend to delude themselves and don't take time to really get to know each other. Of course, many cases are even more complex and difficult. | |
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Aelis said: zaza said: You don't have to..I thank YOU I will not say anything further as I don't know enough about that story. I just think that without really knowing a person, you can't say you love them. Sometimes it does turn out that somebody really is as wonderful as you thought they would be, but mainly it doesn't. IMO that's what's behind so many failed marriages, that people tend to delude themselves and don't take time to really get to know each other. Of course, many cases are even more complex and difficult. I was really surprised by some of her decisions..when her friend told me she loves me and that broke up was just because of her father, I was really happy her feelings are still the same..but today..oh, I don't want to talk about it She's really mean.. | |
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JAN do NOT make me fly to the homeland and kick your little hiney!!! I know your hurt and sad but please dont EVER think that way... you make me very sad and even tho we have never met in person you know I think of you like a son even tho Dan wants us to be wearing white with no undies on and you will be wearing my bra while we get in a water fight! Please dont make me worry about you like this...
Your right tho, life IS beautiful! Dont let some little lying girl who can get away from her daddy issues control your life like this... Im gonna be completely honest here cuz thats how I talk to my children ok... toughen up Jan, you will get over it, weve all been thru it just give it time and get on with life... you know i love ya!! ~~~~~ Oh that voice...incredible....there should be a musical instrument called George Michael... ~~~~~ | |
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Oh, I forgot to tell you something nice...
My daughter thinks your TOTALLY hot!! ~~~~~ Oh that voice...incredible....there should be a musical instrument called George Michael... ~~~~~ | |
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zaza said: Aelis said: I will not say anything further as I don't know enough about that story. I just think that without really knowing a person, you can't say you love them. Sometimes it does turn out that somebody really is as wonderful as you thought they would be, but mainly it doesn't. IMO that's what's behind so many failed marriages, that people tend to delude themselves and don't take time to really get to know each other. Of course, many cases are even more complex and difficult. I was really surprised by some of her decisions..when her friend told me she loves me and that broke up was just because of her father, I was really happy her feelings are still the same..but today..oh, I don't want to talk about it She's really mean.. | |
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tinaz said: JAN do NOT make me fly to the homeland and kick your little hiney!!! I know your hurt and sad but please dont EVER think that way... you make me very sad and even tho we have never met in person you know I think of you like a son even tho Dan wants us to be wearing white with no undies on and you will be wearing my bra while we get in a water fight!
Please dont make me worry about you like this...
Your right tho, life IS beautiful! Dont let some little lying girl who can get away from her daddy issues control your life like this... Im gonna be completely honest here cuz thats how I talk to my children ok... toughen up Jan, you will get over it, weve all been thru it just give it time and get on with life... you know i love ya!! Please, DO THAT! I want to meet with you
And you know I love you, Tina! And Sarah is hot too  | |
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I'm going to bed, so don't worry about me! I won't hurt myself. | |
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Zaza, this simply will hurt like hell. The bad news is there's no way to fix it. The good news is it means you're working properly.
Time, responsibilities, new distractions and new interests will help you overcome the ache, brother, but as they do, please listen to us when we remind you of family, friends (even crappy ones), future lovers, and a really interesting world out there all waiting to enjoy what you bring when you're feeling better. I'm glad you're here. I hope we can help you through this. [Edited 4/13/10 14:22pm] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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zaza said: I'm going to bed, so don't worry about me! I won't hurt myself.
good nite!
And you better mean it...^ ~~~~~ Oh that voice...incredible....there should be a musical instrument called George Michael... ~~~~~ | |
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Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart.
The check. The string he dropped. The Mona Lisa. The musical notes taken out of a hat. The glass. The toy shotgun painting. The things he found. Therefore, everything seen–every object, that is, plus the process of looking at it–is a Duchamp. | |
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Jan - my brother.
We've all been through heartache and thinking it was never going to get better. You start thinking you might have just lost out on the one true love of your life. There's so many folks on here who've already told you this and I'll just add my two cents. You're a good hearted, intelligent young guy. Most people your age (heck maybe at any age) don't have half the consideration you show to your friends/family etc.. This is why so many of us gravitate to you. This will pass and you will be all the better for it later. | |
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Zaza, i think i first took notice of you when i realised that you share a birthdate with my dad...
then i got to know you..   
you have an old music soul, and i often forget that you are a young en oh, and the Ghey (ie Dan) brigade threads 
stay strong my friend...good things come to those who wait seems that i was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before   | |
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zaza said: insatiable3 said: why would you even think about something like that its not worth it!! you have alot going for you !! keep your chin up you will find that perfect person for you ! i promise!! life is hard sometimes in my case a lot of times and there are quite a few cruel people you just have to shake your head and bypass all of that tommorow is another day it will get better i swear! It looks like I know only cruel people..when that person broke up with me, NO ONE OF MY REAL LIFE FRIENDS TOLD ME ANYTHING NICE. That's sad.. do they know all the things you are going through like we do? I mean you have poured your heart out to us, did you tell them in as much detail? mind you, a lot of us are OLD and WISE and stuff, so we know how to respond to you having had this kind of thing happen to us too, maybe your friends are immature, being that they are your age  | |
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zaza said: MrsMdiver said: Me too. It is never a good thing. Zaza, I know you have heard it before but we have all been there. We have all had our hearts ripped out and stomped on. It SUCKS but it does get better. Take it from someone old enough to be your momma. 
And what about those "friends" I'm surrounded by at uni? Keep to yourself. About six years ago, I went through a situation where most of the friends I was surrounded by turned against me (I had been in a relationship with someone in the group, and during the breakup everyone took that person's side). They spread and believed lies about me, and it was horrible. I had to deal with these people at my job, in my neighborhood, and at my chidrens' school. The way I dealt with it was to totally ignore them and just keep to myself. I read books, I watched movies, I ate ice cream, I cooked foods I liked. I just cut those people out of my consciousness and rebuilt my habits and daily life.
Fuck those people. | |
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zaza said: Life is really f-ed up sometimes..
I don't even believe in all those things people say, because last two weeks were full of lies..and I hate insincerity. To be honest: I was thinking about suicide, just to escape all those lies and fake plastic faces around me, but then I've realised life is truly beautiful. And I don't want to hurt people I love. People just need to open their eyes to see those nice little things to really enjoy their lives.. Do I believe in God? Yes, I believe this "God" is some cosmic power..or, just like Herman said, THE NATURE. I love it - forests, hills, trees, flowers..isn't it lovely? Of course it is.. Break up is really such an ugly thing..you can add to that some stupid seminary works and May full of exams I can't really make, so-called "friends" with their mouths full of lies - you will got this big piece of shit. And it stinks.. You orgers are wonderful people..I've met some amazing souls - Tina, Tracy, Hamish, Mihad, Andrea, Michael..and the list goes on..you all gave me something very important - SUNSHINE. I love you all. I love you even more than my real-life friends.. Am I just another fool? Yes..I am. But take some time and tell this lonely and empty soul something nice.. Something nice? I reckon this will do the trick: A 3-year-old cat credited with saving lives by tapping its owner's nose with a paw to alert her of a gas leak has been awarded the Purple Paw by the Great Falls Animal Foundation. Schnautzie received her award Saturday at the foundation's annual Fur Ball. Trudy Guy says Schnautzie was just 6 months old in 2007 when Guy awoke with Schnautzie on her chest and a paw on her nose. In checking the house she heard a roaring sound in the bathroom and found a gas pipe outside the bathroom had broken above the shut-off valve. The firefighters said that the gas leak would have had disastrous consequences. Feel better? That was one awesome cat!  [Edited 4/13/10 17:57pm] | |
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cheer up, Czech Norris. at least you're not Jarvius... everyone's a fruit & nut case | |
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Ok i'll tell you something nice....
Last night before bed my middle daughter said... Mummy i love you more than a billion M&M's..... Then my youngest daughter (big ears obviously listening) yells out.... and Mummy i love you more than a big fat cow! Now that was nice! [Edited 4/13/10 19:25pm] | |
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zaza..
i dont think i've responded directly to any posts you have made..but i know you're here.. and i know you're human..i read thru this thread so i know you've gotten a lot of good advice.. you cant have good without the bad, and you dont get bad without some good.. now that you know whats bad i hope you do something to turn it good.. it wasnt too long ago i was in a spot where i was thinking it would be easier to go away permanently.. and i had enough pills to do it too..but i stopped to think about EVERYTHING goin on in my life.. not just the seemingly major problems..but the good things that are there.. although there wasnt an overabundance of good at the time..it was enough.. will you hang in there and wait it out?
oh!! and.. 'something nice'   'why y'all trying to say goodbye? I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here, im all around you,always..'
in a line from my dream, I heard a voice and saw a silhouette in a chair.. | |
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whistle said: cheer up, Czech Norris. at least you're not Jarvius...
A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon |
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YOUNG BLOOD!! Dude, you're the coolest!! Fear not because with time all good things will come to you...
Dude, I've had my ups & downs, in my career, my personal life and with my blood-family... It was hard.as.fuck. to deal with but I handled it (with some great support via orgers, I might add) and now my shit is comin' up sunshine and marigolds!! 
Hang in there, seriously... My advice to you in the very near future... PLAY IN THE SUNSHINE! fo' realz yo!  A working class Hero is something to be ~ Lennon |
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Fenwick said: Jan - my brother.
We've all been through heartache and thinking it was never going to get better. You start thinking you might have just lost out on the one true love of your life. There's so many folks on here who've already told you this and I'll just add my two cents. You're a good hearted, intelligent young guy. Most people your age (heck maybe at any age) don't have half the consideration you show to your friends/family etc.. This is why so many of us gravitate to you. This will pass and you will be all the better for it later. It's just because of that break up + million other things that makes me feel miserable. I know you're right and that it will be better with time. I HOPE IT WILL. | |
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