Hi there,

Before you respond to this topic, I kindly request that u respond as my org friends, not as judges, pls don’t quote from the Bible, etc. when responding to this post.

Here’s the thing:

I have been having a sordid affair with a married man), but before u start getting more judgemental. It wasn’t planned, it just happened!

Anyway long story short: I have not been getting the kind of attention/effect from him that I feel I deserve to receive. I know it sounds selfish, but I really do luv him and feel as though letting him go would be a huge mistake! Part of me wants to leave him, another part says just be patient.

Please help, I don’t know what to do.

You advice in this regard will be highly appreciated.

Regards,

Cinnamongal

Ps. Negative responses un-welcome.

cinnamongal said:

This will become a discussion about right or wrong. Becuz it's Org. And everybody here is an opinionated sucker.

Here's the deal; you cannot demand anything. Yer not married to the guy, the guy is bad news and you know it. It's not worth the trouble.

Do you WANT a relationship with him?
Do you WANT him to leave his wife in favour of you?
This is an affair. Just have sex and don't have any illusions about the rest.

Hi. No negatives from me...unless you count my advice.

Walk away. If he is married and willing to have an affair with you, and you also feel you're not getting the attention you deserve. You'll only get that attention from a single man. A man willing to divide himself between two partners will never be able to give the proper attention to either, probably even when and if the two partners become one partner only. He will still be out for himself.

Trust me, I know. My father did this for decades and he is still a selfish bastard.

Walk away. Everyone deserves the full attention of one other person.

connorhawke said:

True!

You've asked for advice. Well, I'm sorry: there is no way to give you good advice here without being judgmental and negative.

You know you shouldn't be carrying on with a married man. You also know that he isn't going to leave his wife for you (and, if he did, you know you shouldn't trust him). So what do you do? You know the answer to that.

cinnamongal said:

Friends don't enable.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tough_love

The sooner you extricate yourself from this situation, the sooner you'll feel better. Chalk it up to a learning experience, work on improving your self-esteem and finding validation within, rather than from a relationship (statistically, most of them are destined to fail, anyway).

You absolutely deserve to be someone's number one priority. And you never will be with a married man. As hard as it may be, you need to move on.

He can tell you all day long how his wife is a bitch and he's gonna leave her but he hasnt yet has he.. How long have you been with him? Do you really want to start a long term relationship with someone who is cheating on their wife cuz what comes around goes around and karma is a bitch...

Thats not judging you thats just the facts... It would be one thing if you met him, and he was miserable THEN left his wife, but the fact hes still with her should tell you something...

no negativity, but you can't expect us to assist you in rationalization either.

So, from what you shared, here is my advice, like you asked:


1 - it never JUST happens. Especially with a married person. Stop saying that and stop BELIEVING that. One or two people chose it. End of that part of the story.

2 - what kind of attention do you FEEL you DESERVE to RECEIVE? You're the other woman dear.


So, my advice? Chalk it up to bad timing, decision making, or whatever....and end it. Say he leaves his wife and chooses you. How long before you are in her exact same shoes?

to ALL of the above...

damn, the Org is wise at times...

if he's famous, save your texts....it's all the rage...


if not, move on...

post his photo! I can't advise you without it!

Go for it. Sounds like nothing could possibly go wrong.

.
[Edited 4/13/10 5:56am]

JerseyKRS said:

Agreed ~

Ace said:

thank you very much, i really appreciated your words of wisdom.

cinnamongal said:

GurRRRLLL, if he's treating his own wife (the woman he swore to love and honour for the rest of his life) like a cheap ass hood rat so he could hit it some side fish, what makes you think he's not going to end up treating you the same?

Don't you think he loved his wife deeply and sincerely at one time? Don't you think his feelings for her meant something? And if by chance his feelings for you are any where close to what he felt for hers (something I'm inclined to doubt), then what's your assurance he won't treat you like a cheap ass hood rat?


RUN, woman!!!! RUN, RUN, RUN!!!

It would be different if you were just looking for a good time. Moral implications and ramifications aside, your feelings would not be intwined, and when the affair winds down, you would walk away unfazed and having thought it was a bit of fun instead of feeling like utter garbage.


A man who will turn his back on his wife isn't going treat you any better. He may think that he is at that moment, but I don't think he went into the relationship with his wife with the intention of cheating on her.

There are plenty of single men out there you can nab. There are plenty of single men HERE that you can nab: vivid, Hamsterhuey, GirlBros, ScarlettScandal, Alej, InsatiableCream, and Efan just to name a few.

dear members of the org. thank u very much for all your words of wisdom and guidance, it is extremely appreciated.

now i know what to do. to the Mods, please this topic, i have received all the info i was looking for. i just wanted to make sure by walking away from this "relationship" meant that i wasn't being selfish... i'm free:-D
[Edited 4/13/10 6:05am]

TheVoid said:

Pssssstt all those boys dont like vaginaaaaasssss

Last!

not...

No wait, these are prince.org moderators we're talking about.

Twenty-third to last!

Fauxie said:

Fauxie said:

Jerk !

Mach said:

ban him!!!
And take Johnart with him!

TheVoid said:

RenHoek said:

Co-signing to all the above as well!

I hope you get over him soon and you find someone that deserves your love cinnamon gal, I know its hard to listen to advice that you don't want to hear. Hope is hard to kill even if it's often misplaced.

See? Still here!

Fauxie said:

While you're at it Mach, ban Carrie and Muse!

Fauxie said:

i am NOT a GD Mod

Fauxie said:

let's just say when it started out 10 months ago...the sex was incredible! which is why i stayed this long

TheVoid said: