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Printablepaintedlady said: Lammastide said: Not toward levity, but I can't wait until SCNDLS and Desiree walk up in here.
I don't have a lot of experience with women who've encountered completely unforeseen explosive instances like this, but I can only imagine that, assuming this guy hasn't been actively nurturing an ongoing abusive/codependent relationship, your sister's minimization of this could be part and parcel to dwelling in utter shock right now. That said, her ass needs to snap out of it... quickly! Whatever the "explanation," what happened wasn't just a slight bump in the road, but attempted second-degree murder. It's good she suggests she won't go back to him, but it often is sooo easy to do so. You can't make up her mind for her, but please remind her that even is she'll be soft around protecting herself, her kids deserve better. Lastly, I say this in half jest (SCNDLS, on the other hand, will be dead serious), but this is a good reason that while I'm perhaps the doviest person I know, I suggest women keep some hardcore mofos on speed dial -- and let it be known that they do -- not for revenge, mind you ("... thus sayeth the Lord" and all that  ); but ain't nothing wrong with oversight. 
[Edited 4/1/10 6:47am] Her sister is still in love, and maybe afraid to leave him. He may have threatened to kill her and acted out on her because she made a comment to do just that. Controlling men are like that. She will have to fight through, and yeah... she will need to keep a lynch mob on speed dial for sure. [Edited 4/1/10 6:55am] I'm sure you're right. I shouldn't minimize the very real affection people still feel in situations like this. It's such a tough situation to navigate, isn't it? 
...And, Chilli, forgive me for being preachy. I'm very grateful everyone is OK. I pray for your family.  [Edited 4/1/10 7:03am] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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Lammastide said: paintedlady said: Her sister is still in love, and maybe afraid to leave him. He may have threatened to kill her and acted out on her because she made a comment to do just that. Controlling men are like that. She will have to fight through, and yeah... she will need to keep a lynch mob on speed dial for sure. [Edited 4/1/10 6:55am] I'm sure you're right. I shouldn't minimize the very real affection people still feel in situations like this. It's such a tough situation to navigate, isn't it?
...And, Chilli, forgive me for being preachy. I'm very grateful everyone is OK. I pray for your family.
[Edited 4/1/10 7:03am] 
Abusers are co-dependent and NEED a passive person in order to keep the relationship. Once a controller finds his perfect victim he/she will work to any cost to keep the victim, because its damn hard to find a new one. This man is promising her the world right now, and if he's the best lover she's had it'll be hard to let that dysfunctional relationship go because they are co-dependent on each other.  [Edited 4/1/10 7:07am] | |
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oh ya once they know the r.ship is failing! yep
yep thanks its the type of shit im angry about cuz im trying to get away too [Edited 4/1/10 7:13am] | |
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booty said: yep thanks its the type of shit im angry about cuz im trying to get away too
I hope you find the strength and support to get safe and remain safe. Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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Lammastide said: booty said: yep thanks its the type of shit im angry about cuz im trying to get away too
I hope you find the strength and support to get safe and remain safe. i'll be cought up in some court battle or something i bet i always new that but thanks | |
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Some women can be so stupid letting a man beat them and then making excuses for him afterwards. Just because she's crazy enough to have "gotten over it" doesn't mean you have to. You should make that damn man's life a living hell every chance you get. Andy is a four letter word. | |
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Say wha? Men seem 2 be getting more violent toward women everyday. | |
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I just hope she doesn't go back to this man. 'Cause he will do it again.
She needs to think about herself and her children. He's gonna come back and appologize from here until tomorrow. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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Graycap23 said: Say wha? Men seem 2 be getting more violent toward women everyday.
Actually not... I think the abusers are the same... the change is the tolerance towards this behavior, less people are putting up with it and women in general are becoming more outspoken against this type of criminal behavior. | |
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missmad said: MoniGram said: Hun, this is horrible!!! It sounds like your sister is trying to cope with the situation. I truly hope she and her children will be okay.
Quite a few years ago, on Easter to be exact, my sister's ex tried to kill her as well. He managed to lock my sister in their home, and proceeded to cut her all over her face, arms, neck etc... She went over to the home alone, to get the rest of her items and bring them to our Mom's place. He would have killed her if my Dad and I didn't show up to check on her. She now lives with a HUGE scar on her face that goes from the bridge of her nose to the bottom of her cheek. She doesn't talk much about what happened....  OMG Mon! Woooow! so sad, but glad she is alive. shame she has to live with a reminder of it . where is the guy now? The guy is now dead...he was killed in a fight. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian  | |
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paintedlady said: MoniGram said: Hun, this is horrible!!! It sounds like your sister is trying to cope with the situation. I truly hope she and her children will be okay.
Quite a few years ago, on Easter to be exact, my sister's ex tried to kill her as well. He managed to lock my sister in their home, and proceeded to cut her all over her face, arms, neck etc... She went over to the home alone, to get the rest of her items and bring them to our Mom's place. He would have killed her if my Dad and I didn't show up to check on her. She now lives with a HUGE scar on her face that goes from the bridge of her nose to the bottom of her cheek. She doesn't talk much about what happened....  You guys are so brave, and this hurts me so deeply because the entire family suffers. I am so glad your sister survived her ordeal. Thank you...she has had many, many years to heal. I was maybe 10 when it happened. Proud Memaw to Seyhan Olivia Christine ,Zoey Cirilo Jaylee & Ellie Abigail Lillian | |
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MoniGram said: missmad said: OMG Mon! Woooow! so sad, but glad she is alive. shame she has to live with a reminder of it . where is the guy now? The guy is now dead...he was killed in a fight. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say! So sorry to hear about your sis.  MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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oh!!
i do hope she remains ok
it gonna take a bit of convincing to get her to leave if she hasnt already..
yeah...
my 'stepdad' i will ALWAYS have a lifelong hatred for.. not simply because he chose to abuse me ... but because he thought it would be ok to put a hand and foot on MY child it's hard not to hope he would just  already..i know it's not nice..
but when i was a teen, i gave serious consideration about how to kill him.. that thought came after i saw him go after my little brother.. 
my mom did nothing to stop him,so...  'why y'all trying to say goodbye? I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here, im all around you,always..'
in a line from my dream, I heard a voice and saw a silhouette in a chair.. | |
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peb319 said: oh!!
i do hope she remains ok
it gonna take a bit of convincing to get her to leave if she hasnt already..
yeah...
my 'stepdad' i will ALWAYS have a lifelong hatred for.. not simply because he chose to abuse me ... but because he thought it would be ok to put a hand and foot on MY child it's hard not to hope he would just already..i know it's not nice..
but when i was a teen, i gave serious consideration about how to kill him.. that thought came after i saw him go after my little brother..
my mom did nothing to stop him,so... I am so sorry, I hate it when things like this happen. | |
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He was arrested and charged but has been released..I assume waiting trial.
A couple of days after it happened she was on the phone to me giving me reasons as to why she thinks he lost it...WTF??? Her excuses were he had a friend die in his arms years ago and then there was an incident with his baby (not a child of hers). THATS NO DAMN EXCUSE!!! She claims she wont go back to him, she just wants him to get the help he needs I'll help the asshole all right!!! WTF is this for real???? How the hell did he get released when he assaulted children and held a chainsaw to a person's throat? What's wrong with your sister making excuses for a man who hurt her children. WTH incident with his baby? he tried to hurt the infant? Your sis needs to see a shrink, I think she's been traumatized or something. This can't be the first time he has acted violently toward her. She needs to think about her children's safety and metal state as they will carry this incident in their minds forever. Fuck that douche, maybe hire some thugs to beat the crap out of him. The law probably will just give him a misdemeanor or felony tag, send him to counseling and in a few weeks he will have a new girlfriend and more kids to beat on. Sick | |
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peb319 said: oh!!
i do hope she remains ok
it gonna take a bit of convincing to get her to leave if she hasnt already..
yeah...
my 'stepdad' i will ALWAYS have a lifelong hatred for.. not simply because he chose to abuse me ... but because he thought it would be ok to put a hand and foot on MY child it's hard not to hope he would just already..i know it's not nice..
but when i was a teen, i gave serious consideration about how to kill him.. that thought came after i saw him go after my little brother..
my mom did nothing to stop him,so...
| |
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MoniGram said: Hun, this is horrible!!! It sounds like your sister is trying to cope with the situation. I truly hope she and her children will be okay.
Quite a few years ago, on Easter to be exact, my sister's ex tried to kill her as well. He managed to lock my sister in their home, and proceeded to cut her all over her face, arms, neck etc... She went over to the home alone, to get the rest of her items and bring them to our Mom's place. He would have killed her if my Dad and I didn't show up to check on her. She now lives with a HUGE scar on her face that goes from the bridge of her nose to the bottom of her cheek. She doesn't talk much about what happened.... oh, that's just so sad, so sorry she had to go through that in her life! | |
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chillichocaholic said: Last thrursday night my sisters boyfriend, someone whom I had thought was a reasonably decent human being, wwent completely psychotic and violently attacked her and her children!!! He beat her so bad she has a black eye and quite a few bruises, a suspected broken nose. He also went after 4 of her children, grabbed her 7 year old daughter of the back of the truck and tried to throw her accross the ground until my sister grabbed her away. He then held my sister down on the ground, stomped on her hip, and finally, while holding her head down with his foor he held a CHAINSAW to her neck and TRIED TO START IT!!!! Thank the Lord the damn thing didnt start before the police got there
I still can't believe it...its like something out of a damn movie. He was arrested and charged but has been released..I assume waiting trial. A couple of days after it happened she was on the phone to me giving me reasons as to why she thinks he lost it...WTF??? Her excuses were he had a friend die in his arms years ago and then there was an incident with his baby (not a child of hers). THATS NO DAMN EXCUSE!!! She claims she wont go back to him, she just wants him to get the help he needs I'll help the asshole all right!!! 
She is also now pissed at me because I said something on facebook about it (didnt mention any names)..so i removed it 
She said she's a big girl and she's over it...and I should get over it too Pardon me but WHAT THE FUCK???
Rant over If you need someone she doesn't know to TALK SOME SENSE INTO HER HEAD SO SHE DOESN'T THINK of ever seeing him again, give me her number :phone: If that doesn't work you can send her a link to the articles I've written about my cousin's death.  2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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| most people here know i think that i was almost killed by my first boyfriend & that he is serving a life sentence in prison for it. God i pray that she doesn't go back to this guy, he really could kill her and her kids next time. i'm praying for her....i hope she will wake up and realize that she needs help and to stay far away from this guy with her kids in a safe house somewhere. | |
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kimrachell said: most people here know i think that i was almost killed by my first boyfriend & that he is serving a life sentence in prison for it. God i pray that she doesn't go back to this guy, he really could kill her and her kids next time. i'm praying for her....i hope she will wake up and realize that she needs help and to stay far away from this guy with her kids in a safe house somewhere. Wow... I am glad you are safe...
You are so right! Her sister needs a safe house to go to where she will not be found by him, her life is in very real danger, and she needs a plan of escape. | |
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 to all the brave people who have posted here
so much violence
so many survivors
i have always told me husband, if he ever laid a hand on me in anger, it had better be a good one, coz it would be his one and only...id be out that door.. he has never ever hi me. my dad used to punch holes in doors when he got angry  seems that i was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before   | |
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OK a chainsaw to the neck and trying to harm our children would seal the fate of that marriage for me.
So sorry to hear this happened to her and the kids. | |
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johnart said: OK a chainsaw to the neck and trying to harm our children would seal the fate of that marriage for me.
So sorry to hear this happened to her and the kids. and there would be ZERO but he needs help. Well so do you sister! :sftu:  2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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Something tells me that this creep has always been a violent man. I'm so sorry about your sister and her children. The fact this man tried to cut he with a chainsaw says a lot about him. And why would he put his hands on a child like that? Sick I tell you. Domestic violence happens all the time and it needs to be stopped. I really, really hope your sister does NOT go back to him because he can attack again, probably kill her. I also hope she and the kids get help, witnessing that kind of violence can do a lot of damage over time, especially young children. The fact that your sister was so calm about it, frightens me. I guess maybe she's trying to find other ways to overcome this situation, however she can't act as if it never happened, the problem will not go away like that. | |
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yank his four front teeth out.
cut off his thumbs and remove one eye. take a hammer to his knee caps castrate him so he doesn't make any more children. then...he can have his ass some counseling.  bastard! | |
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paintedlady said: peb319 said: oh!!
i do hope she remains ok
it gonna take a bit of convincing to get her to leave if she hasnt already..
yeah...
my 'stepdad' i will ALWAYS have a lifelong hatred for.. not simply because he chose to abuse me ... but because he thought it would be ok to put a hand and foot on MY child it's hard not to hope he would just already..i know it's not nice..
but when i was a teen, i gave serious consideration about how to kill him.. that thought came after i saw him go after my little brother..
my mom did nothing to stop him,so... I am so sorry, I hate it when things like this happen. thanks
yeah..it became different for me when i was the one watching and not being beaten i can't explain it..made me realize how dangerous he could be.. he literally picked my little brother up by his ears and slammed his head into the ceiling..he came after me the most,which was good in a way,kept him from bothering my brother and my sisters, one of which has epilepsy i used to play in my oldest sisers make up cuz she said i could, but i didnt get it all cleaned off before he got home one day..and he cleaned it off for me, with a steel wool pad..those metal scrubbing things.. the ONLY thing my mother said as he was about to start it was : 'oh be careful jack you might hurt her' 
i walked around with road rash on my face for a week.. but when people asked me what happened..i didnt lie for him..i think thats where i started growing strong,and developed my own set of right and wrong.. karma has kicked his ass around a bit, he's even been run over by a work truck and lived. 
and when my sister told me,thats what i did
so not nice, butt... 'why y'all trying to say goodbye? I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here, im all around you,always..'
in a line from my dream, I heard a voice and saw a silhouette in a chair.. | |
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MrsMdiver said: peb319 said: oh!!
i do hope she remains ok
it gonna take a bit of convincing to get her to leave if she hasnt already..
yeah...
my 'stepdad' i will ALWAYS have a lifelong hatred for.. not simply because he chose to abuse me ... but because he thought it would be ok to put a hand and foot on MY child it's hard not to hope he would just already..i know it's not nice..
but when i was a teen, i gave serious consideration about how to kill him.. that thought came after i saw him go after my little brother..
my mom did nothing to stop him,so...
for you too.. i read your post..my mom still talks about my dad..he did drink, and most likely was an alcoholic..she used to say he come drunk and try to pick a fight, etc..
and that she 'put him in his place'
either the stories are a lie..or she was always a wuss and never stood up..i remember quite a bit of things from like 3 or 4 years old..and i do remember tantrums and him breaking chairs..
i guess she got weaker.. 'why y'all trying to say goodbye? I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here, im all around you,always..'
in a line from my dream, I heard a voice and saw a silhouette in a chair.. | |
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..it's bad enough when you find it hard to protect yourself,
even worse when there are children involved who are counting on you to protect them..
for all to be able to escape the abuse that is domestic violence... 'why y'all trying to say goodbye? I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here, im all around you,always..'
in a line from my dream, I heard a voice and saw a silhouette in a chair.. | |
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peb319 said: paintedlady said: I am so sorry, I hate it when things like this happen. thanks
yeah..it became different for me when i was the one watching and not being beaten i can't explain it..made me realize how dangerous he could be.. he literally picked my little brother up by his ears and slammed his head into the ceiling..he came after me the most,which was good in a way,kept him from bothering my brother and my sisters, one of which has epilepsy i used to play in my oldest sisers make up cuz she said i could, but i didnt get it all cleaned off before he got home one day..and he cleaned it off for me, with a steel wool pad..those metal scrubbing things.. the ONLY thing my mother said as he was about to start it was : 'oh be careful jack you might hurt her'
i walked around with road rash on my face for a week.. but when people asked me what happened..i didnt lie for him..i think thats where i started growing strong,and developed my own set of right and wrong.. karma has kicked his ass around a bit, he's even been run over by a work truck and lived.
and when my sister told me,thats what i did
so not nice, butt... That sounds horrible!!!!! | |
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MoniGram said: missmad said: OMG Mon! Woooow! so sad, but glad she is alive. shame she has to live with a reminder of it . where is the guy now? The guy is now dead...he was killed in a fight. least u know he can't hurt her anymore | |
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