PurpleJedi said: "clustafuck"
I had never heard that expression until I came over to my current company. And in these past 4 years, I've heard it so many times I can't stand it. To make matters worse, mostly every project that turns into a "clustafuck" is a result of our own in-house ineptitude. It's actually "cluster fuck." Military (American) jargon . . . . I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. | |
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Shyra said: How 'bout ipso facto? That always sounds funny, too.
The fact speaks for itself. "Ipso facto, speeding through a school zone at 2:30 in the afternoon at more than twice the posted speed limit is not manslaughter but homicide." I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think. | |
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Being in the military, the work day is full of it. Especially the use of acronyms as verbs. | |
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No, but the new word "folk" have made up which drives me to distraction:
CONVERSATE Nucca, please! | |
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CarrieMpls said: Genesia said: I hate it. Hate. It.
"Please manage your calendar so that the 8:00 original timeline is purged." Seriously...who talks like this? How about, "Please delete the original meeting from your calendar"? And when did "learning" become a noun? Ex: "What are our learnings from last season?" Do they know how stupid they sound? Omg. My boss got the little squiggle line under “learnings” in a document and she turned to me and said, “learnings isn’t a word?”. And I laughed and said no. And then she asked what she was supposed to put there instead. When I suggested “lessons” she changed it to “lessons learned”. And she’s an incredibly smart lady! I think the corporate culture eventually invades your soul and you don’t notice anymore. I’m sure there’s crap that comes outta my mouth at work that never would otherwise. My list of hated words and phrases includes: paradigm (any usage, but especially “paradigm shift”) anything outside the box at the end of the day bandwidth off-line touch base yes please discourage this usage as much as you can, otherwise it will end up in the dictionary | |
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Shyra said: No, but the new word "folk" have made up which drives me to distraction:
CONVERSATE Nucca, please! i hate it already lol | |
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ZombieKitten said: CarrieMpls said: Omg. My boss got the little squiggle line under “learnings” in a document and she turned to me and said, “learnings isn’t a word?”. And I laughed and said no. And then she asked what she was supposed to put there instead. When I suggested “lessons” she changed it to “lessons learned”. And she’s an incredibly smart lady! I think the corporate culture eventually invades your soul and you don’t notice anymore. I’m sure there’s crap that comes outta my mouth at work that never would otherwise. My list of hated words and phrases includes: paradigm (any usage, but especially “paradigm shift”) anything outside the box at the end of the day bandwidth off-line touch base yes please discourage this usage as much as you can, otherwise it will end up in the dictionary We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
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Shyra said: CarrieMpls said: Omg. My boss got the little squiggle line under “learnings” in a document and she turned to me and said, “learnings isn’t a word?”. And I laughed and said no. And then she asked what she was supposed to put there instead. When I suggested “lessons” she changed it to “lessons learned”. And she’s an incredibly smart lady! I think the corporate culture eventually invades your soul and you don’t notice anymore. I’m sure there’s crap that comes outta my mouth at work that never would otherwise. My list of hated words and phrases includes: paradigm (any usage, but especially “paradigm shift”) anything outside the box at the end of the day bandwidth off-line touch base Oh, geez yes! I HATE when someone uses that phrase. I used to work with a woman who couldn't seem to function without using it at least 10 times a day. That and "pencil me in." Yeah, I'll pencil you in alright. Straight up the you-know-what! LMAO funnnnny | |
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i hate getting memos like: "you were late 9 times last week" Or "Elmo footy pajamas are not acceptable attire even on casual Fridays." Or this one "the kitchen sink is NOT the same thing as a urinal, 'same pipes' or not it is NOT okay to pee in ANY sink."
It is like another language! "Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!" | |
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Well, at least you guys aren't working at the philosophy department. | |
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erik319 said: Genesia said: I hate it. Hate. It.
"Please manage your calendar so that the 8:00 original timeline is purged." Seriously...who talks like this? How about, "Please delete the original meeting from your calendar"? And when did "learning" become a noun? Ex: "What are our learnings from last season?" Do they know how stupid they sound? When I worked at a company called Time Computers (horrible place), we used to play Bullshit Bingo. We'd write down a list of words that nobody would say in real life. You know, pointless non-words (eg "basically") or things that make people think they're clever and important ("Incredulous"), without actually knowing how to fit them into a coherent sentence... Then we'd tick them off when the managers used them in meetings. Always made dull meetings go much faster We did this at my co too. Hilarious. "I know that living with u baby, was sometimes hard...but I'm willing 2 give it another try.
Cause nothing compares....nothing compares 2 u!" | |
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ItsOnlyMountains said: anything that's "team" teamplayer, team building, etc.
It's so phony when everyone is so competitive against their own co-workers to the point of backstabbing; how can that be a "team"? | |
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novabrkr said: Well, at least you guys aren't working at the philosophy department.
or are we? "Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!" | |
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I would love if someone stood up at my job and said to a student " Are you stupid? you just enrolled a week ago and you want your financial aid?" | |
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Cinnie said: ItsOnlyMountains said: anything that's "team" teamplayer, team building, etc.
It's so phony when everyone is so competitive against their own co-workers to the point of backstabbing; how can that be a "team"? Once our division had failed to meet its goals for the year. (my department which is really independent of the rest of our division did with a very different set of regulations). So they said we had to have a Saturday team building session. And I kid you not we spent 2 hours playing 'ring around the rosy' and then session of the hookie flipping pookie! I asked "can we play Duck Duck Goose next?" On Monday my boss tried to give me a letter or reprimand! I asked him "Do you really want to defend this before the review hearing? He caved. It was a funny joke. "Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!" | |
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IAintTheOne said: I would love if someone stood up at my job and said to a student " Are you stupid? you just enrolled a week ago and you want your financial aid?"
What does that have to do with the price of pork? We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
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OnlyNDaUsa said: And I kid you not we spent 2 hours playing 'ring around the rosy' and then session of the hookie flipping pookie!
And grown folks are supposed to get into that schitt. OnlyNDaUsa said: I asked "can we play Duck Duck Goose next?"
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Genesia said: IAintTheOne said: I would love if someone stood up at my job and said to a student " Are you stupid? you just enrolled a week ago and you want your financial aid?"
What does that have to do with the price of pork? just tired of stupid people | |
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And furthermore what does the price of pork have to do with this thread? | |
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excellent thread, lol
I'll add a few more that drive me nuts: "circle back" "high level" "strategic initiatives" Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face... "do you know what the definition of insanity is?" | |
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Tom said: Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face...
"do you know what the definition of insanity is?" Same as the meaning of "stay the course"? | |
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Tom said: excellent thread, lol
I'll add a few more that drive me nuts: "circle back" "high level" "strategic initiatives" Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face... "do you know what the definition of insanity is?" A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?" "Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!" | |
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Cinnie said: Tom said: Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face...
"do you know what the definition of insanity is?" Same as the meaning of "stay the course"? I never said I was stay the course! "Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!" | |
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OnlyNDaUsa said: A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"
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Cinnie said: OnlyNDaUsa said: A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"
I am not sure many of my coworkers even got what that meant. "Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!" | |
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OnlyNDaUsa said: Tom said: excellent thread, lol
I'll add a few more that drive me nuts: "circle back" "high level" "strategic initiatives" Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face... "do you know what the definition of insanity is?" A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?" lol, brilliant! | |
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Cinnie said: OnlyNDaUsa said: A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"
co-moticon. | |
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Another one that drives me up a wall is when they put completely common sense thoughts as bullet points in their presentations... like "drive profitable consumers". No fucking shit asshole, is this a revelation to you? Thanks for sharing that nugget of wisdom with the rest of the marketing department. | |
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"reset our clients expectations"=your product will not be ready when we promised
"work smarter not harder"=we know you're doing the best, but it's not enough "climb the accountability ladder"=admit you messed up instead of making excuses | |
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OnlyNDaUsa said: Tom said: excellent thread, lol
I'll add a few more that drive me nuts: "circle back" "high level" "strategic initiatives" Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face... "do you know what the definition of insanity is?" A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?" "action plan" :shudders: | |
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