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Reply #30 posted 03/27/10 10:07pm

SUPRMAN

avatar

PurpleJedi said:

"clustafuck"

I had never heard that expression until I came over to my current company. And in these past 4 years, I've heard it so many times I can't stand it. To make matters worse, mostly every project that turns into a "clustafuck" is a result of our own in-house ineptitude.
brick

It's actually "cluster fuck." Military (American) jargon . . . .
I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think.
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Reply #31 posted 03/27/10 10:13pm

SUPRMAN

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Shyra said:

How 'bout ipso facto? That always sounds funny, too.

The fact speaks for itself.
"Ipso facto, speeding through a school zone at 2:30 in the afternoon at more than twice the posted speed limit is not manslaughter but homicide."
I don't want you to think like me. I just want you to think.
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Reply #32 posted 03/27/10 10:24pm

FauxReal

Being in the military, the work day is full of it. Especially the use of acronyms as verbs.
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Reply #33 posted 03/27/10 10:35pm

Shyra

No, but the new word "folk" have made up which drives me to distraction:

CONVERSATE shake

Nucca, please!
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Reply #34 posted 03/28/10 6:47am

ZombieKitten

CarrieMpls said:

Genesia said:

I hate it. Hate. It.

"Please manage your calendar so that the 8:00 original timeline is purged."

Seriously...who talks like this?

How about, "Please delete the original meeting from your calendar"?

And when did "learning" become a noun? Ex: "What are our learnings from last season?"

Do they know how stupid they sound?


Omg. My boss got the little squiggle line under “learnings” in a document and she turned to me and said, “learnings isn’t a word?”. And I laughed and said no. And then she asked what she was supposed to put there instead. neutral When I suggested “lessons” she changed it to “lessons learned”.

And she’s an incredibly smart lady! I think the corporate culture eventually invades your soul and you don’t notice anymore. I’m sure there’s crap that comes outta my mouth at work that never would otherwise.

My list of hated words and phrases includes:
paradigm (any usage, but especially “paradigm shift”)
anything outside the box
at the end of the day
bandwidth
off-line
touch base


yes please discourage this usage as much as you can, otherwise it will end up in the dictionary
confused
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Reply #35 posted 03/28/10 7:59am

missmad

Shyra said:

No, but the new word "folk" have made up which drives me to distraction:

CONVERSATE shake

Nucca, please!



i hate it already lol
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Reply #36 posted 03/28/10 8:00am

Genesia

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ZombieKitten said:

CarrieMpls said:



Omg. My boss got the little squiggle line under “learnings” in a document and she turned to me and said, “learnings isn’t a word?”. And I laughed and said no. And then she asked what she was supposed to put there instead. neutral When I suggested “lessons” she changed it to “lessons learned”.

And she’s an incredibly smart lady! I think the corporate culture eventually invades your soul and you don’t notice anymore. I’m sure there’s crap that comes outta my mouth at work that never would otherwise.

My list of hated words and phrases includes:
paradigm (any usage, but especially “paradigm shift”)
anything outside the box
at the end of the day
bandwidth
off-line
touch base


yes please discourage this usage as much as you can, otherwise it will end up in the dictionary
confused


shake
We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #37 posted 03/28/10 8:00am

missmad

Shyra said:

CarrieMpls said:



Omg. My boss got the little squiggle line under “learnings” in a document and she turned to me and said, “learnings isn’t a word?”. And I laughed and said no. And then she asked what she was supposed to put there instead. neutral When I suggested “lessons” she changed it to “lessons learned”.

And she’s an incredibly smart lady! I think the corporate culture eventually invades your soul and you don’t notice anymore. I’m sure there’s crap that comes outta my mouth at work that never would otherwise.

My list of hated words and phrases includes:
paradigm (any usage, but especially “paradigm shift”)
anything outside the box
at the end of the day
bandwidth
off-line
touch base



Oh, geez yes! I HATE when someone uses that phrase. I used to work with a woman who couldn't seem to function without using it at least 10 times a day. That and "pencil me in." Yeah, I'll pencil you in alright. Straight up the you-know-what! evillol


LMAO funnnnny
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Reply #38 posted 03/28/10 8:11am

OnlyNDaUsa

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i hate getting memos like: "you were late 9 times last week" Or "Elmo footy pajamas are not acceptable attire even on casual Fridays." Or this one "the kitchen sink is NOT the same thing as a urinal, 'same pipes' or not it is NOT okay to pee in ANY sink."

It is like another language!
"Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!"
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Reply #39 posted 03/28/10 8:38am

novabrkr

Well, at least you guys aren't working at the philosophy department. shrug
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Reply #40 posted 03/28/10 8:57am

Neophyte

erik319 said:

Genesia said:

I hate it. Hate. It.

"Please manage your calendar so that the 8:00 original timeline is purged."

Seriously...who talks like this?

How about, "Please delete the original meeting from your calendar"?

And when did "learning" become a noun? Ex: "What are our learnings from last season?"

Do they know how stupid they sound?


When I worked at a company called Time Computers (horrible place), we used to play Bullshit Bingo.

We'd write down a list of words that nobody would say in real life. You know, pointless non-words (eg "basically") or things that make people think they're clever and important ("Incredulous"), without actually knowing how to fit them into a coherent sentence...

Then we'd tick them off when the managers used them in meetings. Always made dull meetings go much faster wink



We did this at my co too. Hilarious.
"I know that living with u baby, was sometimes hard...but I'm willing 2 give it another try.
Cause nothing compares....nothing compares 2 u!"
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Reply #41 posted 03/28/10 9:01am

Cinnie

ItsOnlyMountains said:

anything that's "team" teamplayer, team building, etc. barf


It's so phony when everyone is so competitive against their own co-workers to the point of backstabbing; how can that be a "team"?
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Reply #42 posted 03/28/10 9:01am

OnlyNDaUsa

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novabrkr said:

Well, at least you guys aren't working at the philosophy department. shrug



or are we? hmmm
"Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!"
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Reply #43 posted 03/28/10 9:03am

IAintTheOne

I would love if someone stood up at my job and said to a student " Are you stupid? you just enrolled a week ago and you want your financial aid?"
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Reply #44 posted 03/28/10 9:13am

OnlyNDaUsa

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Cinnie said:

ItsOnlyMountains said:

anything that's "team" teamplayer, team building, etc. barf


It's so phony when everyone is so competitive against their own co-workers to the point of backstabbing; how can that be a "team"?



Once our division had failed to meet its goals for the year. (my department which is really independent of the rest of our division did with a very different set of regulations). So they said we had to have a Saturday team building session. And I kid you not we spent 2 hours playing 'ring around the rosy' and then session of the hookie flipping pookie! I asked "can we play Duck Duck Goose next?" On Monday my boss tried to give me a letter or reprimand!

I asked him "Do you really want to defend this before the review hearing? He caved. It was a funny joke.
"Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!"
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Reply #45 posted 03/28/10 9:16am

Genesia

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IAintTheOne said:

I would love if someone stood up at my job and said to a student " Are you stupid? you just enrolled a week ago and you want your financial aid?"


What does that have to do with the price of pork? confuse
We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #46 posted 03/28/10 9:16am

Cinnie

OnlyNDaUsa said:

And I kid you not we spent 2 hours playing 'ring around the rosy' and then session of the hookie flipping pookie!


barf And grown folks are supposed to get into that schitt. disbelief


OnlyNDaUsa said:

I asked "can we play Duck Duck Goose next?"


spit highfive
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Reply #47 posted 03/28/10 9:27am

IAintTheOne

Genesia said:

IAintTheOne said:

I would love if someone stood up at my job and said to a student " Are you stupid? you just enrolled a week ago and you want your financial aid?"


What does that have to do with the price of pork? confuse


just tired of stupid people smile
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Reply #48 posted 03/28/10 9:29am

IAintTheOne

And furthermore what does the price of pork have to do with this thread? smile
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Reply #49 posted 03/28/10 9:33am

Tom

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excellent thread, lol

I'll add a few more that drive me nuts:

"circle back"
"high level"
"strategic initiatives"

Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face...

"do you know what the definition of insanity is?"
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Reply #50 posted 03/28/10 9:38am

Cinnie

Tom said:

Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face...

"do you know what the definition of insanity is?"

lol Same as the meaning of "stay the course"? smile
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Reply #51 posted 03/28/10 9:41am

OnlyNDaUsa

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Tom said:

excellent thread, lol

I'll add a few more that drive me nuts:

"circle back"
"high level"
"strategic initiatives"

Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face...

"do you know what the definition of insanity is?"



A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"
"Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!"
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Reply #52 posted 03/28/10 9:42am

OnlyNDaUsa

avatar

Cinnie said:

Tom said:

Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face...

"do you know what the definition of insanity is?"

lol Same as the meaning of "stay the course"? smile



I never said I was stay the course!
"Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!"
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Reply #53 posted 03/28/10 9:43am

Cinnie

OnlyNDaUsa said:

A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"

falloff
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Reply #54 posted 03/28/10 9:48am

OnlyNDaUsa

avatar

Cinnie said:

OnlyNDaUsa said:

A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"

falloff



I am not sure many of my coworkers even got what that meant.
"Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!"
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Reply #55 posted 03/28/10 9:50am

Tom

avatar

OnlyNDaUsa said:

Tom said:

excellent thread, lol

I'll add a few more that drive me nuts:

"circle back"
"high level"
"strategic initiatives"

Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face...

"do you know what the definition of insanity is?"



A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"



lol, brilliant!
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Reply #56 posted 03/28/10 9:51am

novabrkr

Cinnie said:

OnlyNDaUsa said:

A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"

falloff


co-moticon.
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Reply #57 posted 03/28/10 9:55am

Tom

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Another one that drives me up a wall is when they put completely common sense thoughts as bullet points in their presentations... like "drive profitable consumers". No fucking shit asshole, is this a revelation to you? Thanks for sharing that nugget of wisdom with the rest of the marketing department.
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Reply #58 posted 03/28/10 9:58am

BlackAdder7

"reset our clients expectations"=your product will not be ready when we promised
"work smarter not harder"=we know you're doing the best, but it's not enough
"climb the accountability ladder"=admit you messed up instead of making excuses
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Reply #59 posted 03/28/10 10:00am

BlackAdder7

OnlyNDaUsa said:

Tom said:

excellent thread, lol

I'll add a few more that drive me nuts:

"circle back"
"high level"
"strategic initiatives"

Or the one that really makes me want to punch someone square in the face...

"do you know what the definition of insanity is?"



A manager was giving a talk about how we needed to turn things around and how she wanted each department to come up with an 'action plan' with PACIFIC strategies to improve performance. And that she expected a 360 degree turn around. One of the other smart asses beat me to "isn't that the same thing we are doing now?"



"action plan" :shudders:
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