tinaz said:

OK, who out there was it that was bitchin about why there was even a need for Sean Hayes to come out???



http://oldies.about.com/o...mathis.htm
Mathis' career more or less followed the trajectory of the entire "Adult Contemporary" movement, moving from sophisticated pop to lounge fare to Seventies "soft-rock." In the late 70s, he engineered a comeback of sorts by recording several hit R&B ballad duets with rising female stars; however, that success was soon derailed when he admitted to being gay in a 1982 interview. His core audience seemed not to mind, however, and Mathis remains a solid concert draw to this day. He has continued to record for Columbia for over a half-century. In his spare time, he is known as an avid golfer and cook.
[Edited 3/19/10 15:42pm]

johnart said:

a)

b) reading...

TheVoid said:

You have confirmed my suspicions. I won't be getting any when I visit.

Thai women are amazingly beautiful, though; the rest of us pale in comparison. So I suppose I can't say I blame them. I only appeal to a niche market even here at home, I figure it's gonna be even more so when I'm over there.

johnart said:

OH my...how did I let this get to 2 pages before I found it.
The answer to your question is YES....if you live in LA. OMG, if you're black and gay, guys avoid you like the fucking plague out here. It's terrible. I've had guys reject me, and they won't admit it, but it's because I'm black. But I don't give a fuck, really. Regardless of who likes me or not, it's not gonna make me re-evaluate, or change who I am just to fit someone's or society's perception of what I should feel or want to be in order to be accepted in the gay community. And if guys DO want to talk to me, it's only because of stereotypes or for a fetish they have. Or white guys will be like "White, Latino, or Asian ONLY..." or "White, Latino, Asian, Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, European guys ONLY" and I'm just like "WOW, really?" So you know what? FUCK white guys. I am SO SICK of gay white me. SO FUCKING SICK. I'm sick of them being all over every fucking magazine, advertisement, porno box, video, t.v. show. Sick and tired. Instead of convincing me to want a white guy or be white, the media has totally done the opposite. Give me a man of color ANY day.

Sorry for the rant

ScarletScandal said:

I have seen the White, Latino or Asian ONLY shit. I'm not saying it's not someone's right to have preferences or having a "type" but there are certainly better ways to approach this. It's crude.

I have a peeve about folk using the word CLEAN when referring to not being interested in poz men also. I get it. It's their prerogative, but come on now that's the best you could come up with?
[Edited 3/19/10 16:51pm]

johnart said:

I hear that. But you know what? They're ALL OVER ME when they see me in person. It's incredible. Man, a couple years ago I spoke to a guy on Myspace, and he was like "You're black? OMG nevermind..." Mind you, I saw the SAME GUY at RAGE, and he wouldn't leave me alone. All he could do for me was eat my dust.

johnart said:

Federico Garcia Lorca
Christian Chavez
Baroque
Juan Gabriel
James Baldwin(writer)

CarrieMpls said:

There's some real bitchiness. There are white women here who are so bitter and jealous and let no opportunity pass to slag off white men (paying for sex, couldn't get it at home, drunks etc.) for being with Thai women (sluts, prostitutes, gold-diggers etc.). Then you have white men who go beyond professing their liking of Thai women and use every chance they get to slag off white women (fat, lazy, crap in bed etc.). Often with the guys there's a messy divorce back in the west involved somewhere. Maybe that's an issue for the women too. Also, plenty of couples have broken up over coming to Thailand together and the guy messing around with a Thai woman and staying here while the woman goes home or travels elsewhere. Saw it firsthand at least twice that I can recall, back in my days staying around KSR. Can get really ugly. I honestly don't get the whole thing though. These are these guys' mothers, sisters and daughters and they unwittingly trash them all. My reasons for coming out here may have been a little different to some guys' reasons though. I may have a slight preference for Asian women but all that nastiness is just disgusting and hateful.

ScarletScandal said:

I'm not a part of "the scene," so what I know is only observation from some distance, but from what I gather it's the exact same way here in Toronto.

I assumed with Toronto being one of the most ethnically diverse cities in the world (about 51% of people in this city were born outside of the country), there'd be a far more fluid miscegenation. I would say that's true among Torontonians at large, but Toronto's gay community seems definitely color struck to a large degree. Combinations of the "White, Latino, Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, Euro guys only" sentiment are rampant, according to gay friends; and Blacks -- and especially Asian men for some reason -- can go straight to hell as far as many gay Toronto men are concerned... even many other gay Blacks and Asians. It's sad.

Now it's one thing if the tastes of gay individuals tend toward a certain ethnic exclusivity. There's nothing wrong with a person prefering, say, a... ...Zac Ephron clone. What is a bit more curious -- and possibly less benign -- is when those individual tastes become so identical in the aggregate. That is, when everyone wants Zac Ephron, there's a sociological issue at hand... and something is fishy.
[Edited 3/19/10 19:55pm]

Lammastide said:

EXACTLY. In fact, sometimes, I can't tell who's "hated" more. Blacks, or Asians. A LOT of times it seems to me that guys will take Asian over Black, as if they're choosing the lesser of 2 evils I know guys that try desperately to convince me that guys like Zac Efron and the Jonas Brothers and (insert young white celebrity here) is sexy/hot/cute and what not, and think something is wrong with ME, because I don't agree with them, and I have my own standards of beauty. Lol what kills me though, is how they want black features, just not on black men Come on now

ScarletScandal said:

It's a mess, isn't it?

What really annoys me is when in reaction to the ethnic biases, many men of color sell themselves as "mixed with Italian, Irish, yada yada yada..." to make themselves more marketable. For certain, almost everyone is ethnically mixed, but when that buried truth is invoked (or altogether fabricated) only insofar as it makes one more date-worthy -- or hookup-worthy -- I think there's something sick about that.
[Edited 3/19/10 20:13pm]

ScarletScandal said:

The very thought of this just...

It saddens me to hear these accounts. I guess I've been extremely fortunate to have always (or at least for the most part) hung out or lived in diverse circles or areas.

Our community (gay) is not unlike any other minority culture. It's just not bad enough dealing with outside prejudices, we gotta fuck our own shit up by doing that mess amongst ourselves.

Lammastide said:

PLEASE don't get me started on that!!!

johnart said:

Yeah, it's crazy. And you are fortunate, John, to have lived in such diverse circles. Where I'm from, the "scene" is pretty lilly white, and it was made clear to me early on that I was either altogether invisible or a fetish prop. You eventually get numb to the raw sting of that, but the hurt never entirely goes away... especially as you see these same men, ones you imagine as potentially your brothers, fighting their own asses off for equity in the hetero world. It has, at times, made me not want to lift a finger to help any mainline LGBTQ cause.

johnart said:

I guess living in Tampa where there are very few Asians outside of a decent sized Thai community I've never seen the "white, latino, asian" thing. I've mostly seen "No black or rice" (which means Asian). As a matter of fact, I think only the rice queens like Asians in Tampa? Latinos, however, are all the rage.

It's a really really good thing Tampa is sooooo fucking slutty, cause I'm at the bottom of the barrel for both hetero females and homo/bi males here in Tampa. And I admit--I got a good deal of ass. (but at least 40% originally thought I was latino).



As far as ScarletScandal's 'being fetishized' comment, it's so true. Some folks are attracted to you because of a fetish. These beautiful, and I mean ABSOLUTELY gorgeous Thai grils walking around with farrangs beside them probably aren't concerned with such high concept notions, but it disturbs me to see so many westerners fetishize a part of my ethnic background.

CarrieMpls said:

It's tougher for a western woman, I admit. But as always, I'm generalizing for brevity. For men, it's not really tough to find a girl. I mean, if Abierman can get laid in Thailand, yall know damned well any of you here can. (I keed. I keed).

Your features wouldn't turn off a Thai or Western man, I don't think. You're about the same height as much of the population here. Some of the dutch, german, and US girls actually tower above the other Thai girls. It just ends up looking a bit strange after you've adjusted to the population here.

You would probably get ass here if you wanted, but it may be German, dutch, French, Sweedish, or Arabic ass. But it's not unheard of for western women to marry Thai men either.

It's sort of works both ways. Western women don't find Asian men attractive--most western women have this hangup on height--I'd say 90% of western women do. Sooooo, they live here looking for other western men. And the western men, even if they prefer white girls in the beginning, always end up moving towards Thai women...often exclusively.

And the 'reasons' I hear of aren't due to physical ones, persay, but because there is this perception that Thai women are just kinder, more charming....less bitter. And lawd, as much as I try to keep an open mind about it, western women do come off as being awfully bitter here.

Thais' absolutely love western features when it comes to color tone---big, blue eyes, blonde hair, pale skin----Thais eat that shit up. But they don't like western features on women (or men) when it comes to other features (bigger noses, more pronounced chin, cheek, forehead, ears).


But bottom line, Carrie. This is Bangkok... BANGKOK... Bring condoms. Just don't bring the combative 'bitter' western woman attitude.

Lammastide said:

I say fuck it. If all you're interested in is ass and you have no intention of respecting or calling the other person afterwords, then fuck it. LIE YOUR ASS off and tap that booty.


That fucker's probably lying about his life too. So fuck him.


And there are plenty of black and blatinos who don't have the 'black feature' mentioned by ScarlettScandal.

Well, I gotta admit that I'm not interested in Thai women per se, I mean, I could fuck and/or love any woman as long as I find her hot and/or charming...

but those "sex travels", like "hey, this summer I'm going to Thailand, and then I'll bang the hell out of three thai teenagers, sounds cool eh?"...man, that's disgusting...
[Edited 3/19/10 20:48pm]

JoeTyler said:

I don't think most people come here wanting to be interested in anything really.
I'd say only 30% of the population had some pre-existing fetish for Thai women.

But you become immersed into a population, and you 'get' what makes this or that feature attractive, and for some reason ...men just kind of end up exclusively wanting Thai women. I would say the number is higher than 90% for people who've been here longer than 1 or 2 years.

I was that way when I moved to Germany. After the first 6 months, I 'got' which Germans were more attractive than the others, and started to become attracted to those features---Germans are some tall motherfuckers!

TheVoid said:

Okay....
What I meant by that is they want features more commonly found on black men, but on other ethnicities. And I'm not elaborating because I don't want to get all P & Arruh in this thread

ScarletScandal said:

They want big dicks.

All I'm saying is that there are plenty of black men who don't have that 'feature' so if these men are chasing that 'feature' but on other ethnicities, they'll be sorely disappointed.

Everybody's Internet Penis size is 9 inches.

.
[Edited 3/19/10 20:57pm]

Some of you already know my opinions on interracial relationships.

I'm sorry, but no matter what your sexuality or ethnicity is, IMO even attempting to defend as a mere "preference" picking partners based on race, let alone proudly announcing that you do, is completely absurd.

I just can't wrap my head around the concept. It makes no goddamned sense to me no matter who it's coming from.

meow85 said:

You're absolutely right. And there have been A LOT of times when I've asked guys why they weren't into Asians or Blacks, and I can not get the cold hard honest truth from ANYBODY. I guess they want to be gentlemen and not hate me to my face

Lammastide said:

It's really sad that I experience this, and I'm not really a "scene" person. I go to gay clubs and you'd swear I was just a fucking vapor in the air. And in the RARE event a guy wants to talk to me, I think to myself "Okay, what's wrong with THIS one..." you know? That sucks

TheVoid said:

That is probably one of the reasons why to me Germans in general are not attractive. I don't belong to the 90% of the women who prefer tall men, but a man who is tall is a turn off for me.

And about men being attracted to Thai women: sadly I think for most it is the attitude, that they are easy to handle and will do what you tell them to do, be nice and good girls.

ScarletScandal said:

Serious said:

Which is a terrible generalization so many a man has come a cropper having those expectations.

johnart said:

I was just about to...