How do you handle it?



Let's discuss....

crickets





















or cowards

Walk away, keeping as much of my dignity intact as possible.

Genesia said:

that's a good answer and attitude. difficult for many people to do I imagine.

DesireeNevermind said:

<--- does not beg. Ever.

Seriously - if someone doesn't want me, I'd rather not waste my time. I got places to go, things to do and people to see.

Genesia said:

It took me some time to figure that out, but yeah, it’s the only way to go.

Genesia said:

I do not beg either but can't help feeling sad and crying but I do all that alone where no one can see me

nobody yet posting about attempts to win a lover back?

DesireeNevermind said:

Step off and move on.

DesireeNevermind said:

So you're saying I fancy this person too?

veronikka said:

That's what I mean by keeping one's dignity intact.

DesireeNevermind said:

And there's the rub. I'll work to win someone back. I'm (hopefully) not going to lose my dignity over it, but I don't mind risking a little embarrassment if I think it's worth it. But after that, I'll walk away and feel bad in private (well, the privacy of me, a good friend and some good booze).

Efan said:

How do you win someone back, though?

If they’ve rejected you, how can you change their mind?

Efan said:

I am like that too. I got my ex-bf back back in the day when we dated and he was not interested anymore and we stayed together for 17 years. So sometimes it is worth it.

I sat idly by while she figured out if she wanted to try again or not. She decided she didn't want to, I respected it and gave her space. Lots of it. We're cool, but she has a funny way of thinking she's still entitled to my time every now and then.

CarrieMpls said:

I don't know. "Rejected" is pretty tough. If I were rejected, I probably wouldn't work to change his mind. But as an example of something on the other hand: If a guy I really liked was telling me that some things I was doing were hurting our relationship, I would make an effort to change if I agreed with the assessment. Does that make sense?

If it's a flat-out "I don't care for you anymore," then I'd be out. But if it were more like, "I don't feel as close to you as I once did," then it may be salvageable.

Just Move on.....

I just stalk them until I get a retraining order....then take the hint & move on

SHOCKADELICA1 said:

I knew we had to have at least one on this board.

Efan said:

Ahhh… that makes sense. And is good sense. That’s just plain working on a relationship.

I guess I took “don’t fancy you anymore” to mean they’ve lost interest and would be leaving or already left.

TD3 said:

DesireeNevermind said:

I figured that it's her lost. And then I move on.

when i was younge and dumber I used to beg, plead, stalk, call, offer sex, etc etc.

now I am wiser I just go "whatever"

now that I'm older and wiser I try to avoid people that want to start silly nonsense in life.

.
[Edited 3/5/10 5:25am]

I bounce!

DesireeNevermind said:

Simple - just go on to someone else.

I don't do all that well with rejection, so I find I need to just totally cut off all contact with the person.

Every single dude that didn't "fancy me anymore" eventually came back at some point, not for anything meaningful though...

I have a really hard time cutting off ties with people I care about even when they stop caring about me.

Its weird, but once a man doesn't want me... I don't want him. Its a mental thing with me, I begin to see and scrutinize every flaw to the point where it bothers me. The anger helps me and I just move on. I may not meet a new guy for a while but I just take off the blinders and notice what's around me then.

funny thing, they always tend to come back and want a friendship... fuck that, I am NEVER friends when a guy hurts me. I just keep it moving.

i tend to pull out the minute i sense that's going to happen. sometimes i could be wrong, but screw it, rejection is just not something i'd like to deal with at all.

i usually say things to myself like 'i don't blame 'em, i don't fancy myself either'.

and then i sigh.