pardonme4livin said:

Let's put it this way, I'm the only Liberal, agnostic out of a family of religious conservatives--and I'm talking immediate as well as extended!

We get together... We keep the peace. We're polite. But I just don't have same mind-set about a lot of things.

You don't choose your family. There is not one member of my family I'd necessarily choose to hang-out with! At the same time, there is not one member of my family I wouldn't help. I would think they'd feel the same way about me, but sometimes, I'm not so sure--fire and brimstone..Hell Hath no Fury like a family scorned.. and all that. I'm just not sure--that's the sad reality.

I just think... some families are close; some aren't.

Hell no. You and I are only children and we turned out pretty great.
My parents went through the same thing. They questioned having an only child. They almost adopted a child just so that I could have a companion.

I told them it was alright.

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

I thought about you when I created this thread. You sure did turn out great. I will be blessed if our boy turns out to be half as wonderful as you.

It depends on who the father is and what country that poor child is forced to live in.

No. Absolutely not. You made a very mature decision IMO.

TheVoid said:

ONE it is then.

It's insane to think that any decisions about how many kids to have could be "cruel" to your child.

I think it's cruel to have more children than you want to have, because they didn't ask to be born and have to grow up with stressed out, resentful parents.

Having said that, Chris was an only child, and has expressed regret that he never had a sibling to share things with. My brother and I get to laugh about how crazy our parents are; Chris doesn't have anyone who was there with him growing up and just "gets it" the way my brother and I "get" each other.

That's just one perspective, though. I certainly don't think he feels like his parents were being mean to him by not having more kids.

TheVoid said:

Hey, that´s a nice ass in your avatar. Whose ass is that? I like those kinds of butts.

Totally off topic but I know Val will forgive me.

do you, and tell nosy folk to get a hot cup of mindyobizness!

I think it's quite fine to have only one child! He is loved, and that is what matters. Some people just love to voice their opinions, mostly when they feel they are right or when they doubt their own choices in life. I would just ignore them, enjoy what has been given to you, and go from there. If one day you and Phil decide you want more, and you adopt, then my hats off to you. Adoption is a beautiful thing.

I don't think it's cruel. I have a daughter, and I never plans to have any other children. I'm just waiting to hit the age to get my tubes tied. I have 2 half sisters... life was good BEFORE they came.

the only child cousin in our family is a terrible horrible brat to the insanity degree. I have no way to prove he wouldn't have been one of multiple brats but he was in a class of his own.

Just raise your child right and things should be OK Assuming you had kids and they had kids he would miss out on what it is to be a brother or an uncle being an only. just food for thought.

.
[Edited 3/9/10 9:21am]

It's not about the number of kids but the quality of love, guidance, discipline and nuture they receive. If your child has no complaints then don't worry about it.

MrsMdiver said:

That is one of the sweetest things that anyone has said to me. I really wish I would've had a child. I know it's never too late but ugh, I'd really need to get it together quickly to be able to do that.

No, it isn't.

And if you decide to adopt at some point, your kid will have all of the benefits of having a sibling (and there are some, imho, but I don't think they're crucial). Being a blood relative isn't important at all.

It's certainly NOT cruel... that's ridiculous! We're are also considering adoption at a later time should we choose not to go the biological route.

No, I would never call it cruel but I have often wondered if it's better to have a sibling for your child.

In my experience, single children have been very selfish and have very little experience with conflict resolution. I've actually sworn off dating dudes that are a single child.

However, my son is a single child and I feel that it's the parents’ job to try and somehow emulate as much as they can experiences that they would typically experience growing up with a sibling.

JustErin said:

No it isn't. What IS cruel is having a whole bunch of children, and not be able to take care of them. I am one of 6, and my mom and dad made sure that they had the means to take care of us.

the thought that it could somehow be cruel is ridiculous...


speaking as an only child, I wish I had a sibling...I never gave it a second thought while growing up but I think about it a lot now...I think about the day that both of my parents are gone...it seems so final and I have nobody to really share that with...I also think about if one or both of my parents need constant care as they get older, it will be up to me to make every decision...
honestly, it would be nice to have somebody there that could share all the pain and joy of life...friends and other famnily are great but it isn't the same...it sounds crazy, but I miss a bond that I've never had...

shorttrini said:

That's what happened to my bf who is a trini like you by the way .

i was an only child and i'm crazy as fuck, so yes

Serious said:

Well, I am sorry babe. But, not all Trini's are alike. The kids must be beautiful though.

shorttrini said:

I know. I just spent more than 5 months there. I just feel so sorry for the childhood he had.

Some folks need to learn, not everything they think should be expressed.

I have siblings (2) but my daughter's an only child, I don't think you miss what you've never had. She's never really expressed an opinion one way or the other. I had as many children I thought I could afford to take care of just in case I had to get my hat. My husband said (especially when she became of dating age) he would've liked a son because it had been his experience women who had brothers, had a tendency not to be silly about boys/men.

Serious said:

It was probably very strict and very rigid. This is probably why acts that way

shorttrini said:

I think my post was not clear, but you misunderstood it . He doesn't act like that, but his parents did. And yes his childhood was like that, he grew up in an institution because the authorities took him away from hid parents.

Only one?

Shame on you!

Serious said:

WOW!!

shorttrini said:

I think his parents tried their best and he probably would have been better off with them as he was extremely unhappy in the institution, but well that's not how it went. And BTW he has about 20 brothers and sisters from different mothers and fathers. I guess he would have been very happy as a loved and cared for only child.
[Edited 3/9/10 12:09pm]