I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked recently how long we are going to wait before having another child?
People (family, friends & strangers) are so surprised to hear that we are not planning to have anymore children.
We have both agreed if in the future we feel like our family needs to expand and grow, we will adopt.

Some times the reactions I get are as if I am neglecting our only child of something if we do not give him a sibling.

Do you think it is cruel to only have one?
[Edited 3/9/10 6:02am]

No. I've read only children are extremely confident. I think I read it's usually the first child and/or only child, turning out to be leaders.

Plus, there are plenty of opportunities for an only child to socialize with other children.

I am an only child myself so it does not seem strange to me to just have one.
I feel so blessed to have one healthy baby.

MrsMdiver said:

No ~

goodness ... people can be so cruel with their opinions

Mach said:

Some times I think it is just a case of misery loving company.



I think for some ppl, kids are like potato chips, they have to have more than one.
[Edited 3/9/10 6:13am]

Yes....yes it is.....you should have 5 more...









****Note....this was not a paid endorsement from Phil...

pardonme4livin said:

It sure wasn't, daddy is happy with one.

MrsMdiver said:

Uh huh....that we we all say.....he is happy with the one....but would be even happier with a second....trust me on this....

Hi Val...and tell Phil he can thank me later.,..

Ridiculous

CarrieMpls said:

What?

pardonme4livin said:

pardonme4livin said:

The idea that having one child is somehow "cruel".

Not you.

If I am answering this honestly...as a father of 3...and as an older brother, then I wouldn't call it "cruel" or any other negative adjective...I would say the same thing to you as I did to my wife...she didn't want any...but I had other ideas...our oldest was and IS a gigantic pain in the ass...we tell him all the time, teasingly ofcourse..... (well sort of) that it is beyond amazing he has any siblings...he wore us the HELL out....but when he was 3....his mother and I had a conversation about this...and what we decided was if something should happen to us now..or way down the road, would we want Luke to have a sibling to have by his side...and we decided it was yes...

The third child was an oops....I lost count...anyways....I would not call it cruel..but I'd have the conversation about what siblings can bring to a child's life...blood is blood...

Just my OPINION fuckers.....no attacking me or else I may have to get medieval on your asses...

I don´t feel like having children myself but my former teacher told me it´s wiser to have at least two children because one day the parents will die and the child will be left alone in the world.

That being said, I don´t necessarily agree with that because a lot of single kids I know seem pretty happy about being a single child.But I also know of single children who are in fact very lonely now that both their parents died at a young age.

pardonme4livin said:

My mother in law looked at us like we were crazy to consider adopting if we wanted more.
Truthfully, I never wanted to birth any children of my own, I always thought I would adopt if I wanted children.
When I decided to have one, I knew that was going to be it. After being pregnant, giving birth and now having a 5 month old, I still feel that way, now more than ever.

It's not cruel at all.

Everyone will have different opinions on this....

In my case, I knew I wanted at least 2 children and after having my first child I decided to have the second one pretty quickly because I think if I waited, I wouldn't want to do it all again

KoolEaze said:

Blood relations don’t mean everything, though. It’s no guarantee you’ll get along or be close. My brother and I have never been close and I don't see that we ever will. If he hadn’t had kids, I doubt we’d be speaking much to this day. As it is, I like his wife and adore his children, so I still see him about every other month or so.

So he’s my brother and he’ll always be a part of my family, but I am much, much closer to other people in my life. I have the family I came from (who I love, don’t get me wrong) and I have the family I have chosen for myself, those being my friends.

NO.
People can just be mean. It's no one's business but you and your husband.
You are blessed to have your child. If you have more, so be it- but it's between you & him.

florescent said:

I remember lying on the table getting prepped for my c-section, I said to my husband "We should have just gotten another dog".

Though as soon as I heard our son cry for the first time, I changed my mind.

KoolEaze said:

I don't know about this. I've made a life for myself outside of my family. I don't even live in the same city! And.. I don't really think we all get along all that well anyway. I love my family... but then again... it's not like I want to spend a lot of time with them! There's no bad blood. But it's more... I have my own life.

Then there are those people who HATE their siblings and parents.

I just think being from a large family doesn't really mean you're not alone in the world. I think ultimately we are all alone in the world..making our own way, if that makes any sense.

deadmansbones said:

Well put.

deadmansbones said:

exactly

MrsMdiver said:

When I was in labour the 2nd time I told my husband that if I ever wanted a 3rd child, he had permission to slap me.

MrsMdiver said:

Well I see nothing wrong with having more then one either ~

People project onto others the weirdest things about themselves ~ some notice they are doing it and some have no clue

you and phil must do what is best/right for you two ... that that's what is most important

Of course it's not . The mother of David's children talked him into that too and that is why he has his second daughter even though he didn't really want a second child. Don't let anybody tell you how to live your life with their unwanted pieces of advice .

pardonme4livin said:

Mach said:

I feel very blessed that we both feel the same way about it. I know many couples that do not agree on children or the amount to have.

We agree to give him a sister if we adopt.

Mach said:

I agree with this, too. You listen to different opinions, but you have do what you feel is best.

I just don't think people should be pressured into having more kids or any for that matter.

To me, if a couple wants to have them, great! But at the same time, it's not necessarily gonna solve all the problems or turn-out to be as a person might envision.

I'm the youngest.the baby of the family. And I'm glad I have a life of my own. I've worked hard to have that life-not that my family is bad. But I really wanted a life outside of my family because it would have been very easy not to have one. My family can be a little overbearing! But that's ok. They mean well.

deadmansbones said:

How many siblings do you have? My extended family (uncles aunts and cousins) is substantially larger....my father was the oldest of 7...they have had some long rough years but they still find a way to get together....begrudgingly or not....my dad didn't deserve their adoration, but even to this day they love having him as their big brother...

I feel this discussion can be viewed many ways

I wish you well in your journey to finding what is correct for you.